SWC How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

that blast came from the death star..that things oper- *Falcon explodes*

 

RotJ:
- Sheild comes down
- Death Star is destroyed
- the Imperial Fleet including dozens of Star Destroyers, instead of just floating there in space doing nothing unleash hell on the Rebel fleet reducing them to space dust. They then turn Endor into a burning cinder from orbit.

 

Jar Jar: Help!
*Gets ran over by MTT*
Qui-Gon: I was too late... ah well.

 

ANH - aboard the Tantive IV. Vader is force-choking a stormtrooper. A small figure in white lies at his feet.

'I said I wanted prisoners!'

 

"Credits will do fine."
"No they won't"
"Credits WILL do fine."
"No They Won't-ah!"

*Qui-Gon whips out his lightsaber and decapitates Watto, yells back to the shop.*

"Jar-Jar, what'shername, that Handmaiden! Help me lug this hyperdrive outta here before the Hutts find out, we're leaving!"

 

Darth Vader: [addressing the Tantive IV's captain, whom he is interrogating] Where are those transmissions you intercepted? WHAT have you DONE with those plans?

[Vader is holding Captain Antilles off the floor by his neck, the Captain's feet are dangling at Vader's knees]

Captain Antilles: We intercepted no transmissions...
[gasps]
Captain Antilles: ... This is a consular ship... We're on a -
[chokes]
Captain Antilles: diplomatic mission...

Darth Vader: [shouting] If this is a consular ship, WHERE is the ambassador?

Captain Antilles: Oh yeah! Why didn't I think to mention that!? Yeah, we've got 12 ambassadors aboard. They're in the conference room relaxing as we speak.

Darth Vader: Oh, 12 ambassadors! Oh boy... this is embarrassing. Let me just gently set you back down on your feet then. Okay then, 12 ambassadors you say? Well, I'm clearly in the wrong here. I mean, even if you are hiding any secret Imperial plans aboard, I simply have no right to board your ship if you have 1 ambassador here, let alone 12 of them. Rules are rules. I really must apologize. I mean, I was told there weren't any ambassadors on board. Hey, Gary, weren't you the one who told me that?

Stormtrooper Gary: That's what Palpatine's message said. Don't blame me.

Darth Vader: Gosh, I'm really sorry, Mr. Antilles... Um, what can I say... Oh! This is just the thing! I happen to have this coupon on me for a wonderful day spa. If your neck gives you any problems, just ask for Rhonda. She gives a great deep tissue massage. ...Well, I guess we're done here. Just remember to always keep at least 1 of those ambassadors on board, then you're good.

Captain Antilles: Will do.

Darth Vader: I'll just be going now.
(to himself, as he's walking away)
I really wish Palpatine would just go ahead already and disband the Imperial Senate so that we can forget about all these diplomatic protocols... Oh well, at least, now that I'm in the old neighborhood, I guess I should drop by on Owen and Beru and say, "Hi." I mean, giving them a surprise pop-in certainly couldn't affect the course of galactic history in any major way...

 

ANH: Escape pod is jettisoned from Tantive IV
Imperial#1: There goes another one.
Imperial#2: Hold your fire. There are no life forms. It must have been short-circuited.
Imperial#1: You know sir, I could really use the practice.
Imperial#2: Ok, open fire.
Escape pod carrying nothing but 2 droids explodes.

 

You stinker! This was going to be next entry!

 

"The Emperor has made a critical error and the time for our attack has come"
*Random Rebel runs to centre of room, rips off shirt to reveal Imp outfit and a bomb strapped to his chest*
"No he hasn't!"
*Explodes, takes out entire Rebel power structure in one swoop*

 

Vader: I am your father.
Luke: Daddy daddy! I love you daddy! Let's go blow up some planets together and overthrow that mean wrinkly man.
Vader: I love you too son! Tally ho!

 

Panaka: You can't take Her Royal Highness there! The Hutts are gangsters. If they discover her...

Qui-Gon: They'll what? Make her a slave and force her to wear a skimpy metal bikini?

Panaka: Hmmm, that's not such a bad idea. Oh Your Highness, there's been a slight change of plan in our travel itinerary...

 

Instead of being killed on Geonosis, Jango Fett is arrested and put on trial. Through interrogating him, Tyranus, and the cloners, they find out clones are pre-programmed with absolute obedience to all orders, including Order 66. Palpatine is arrested for conspiring against the Republic. No Empire.

Sent from my stupid little astro droid using TapaTalk 2.

 

*Obi-Wan jumps out window after Zam's assassin droid...

...misses, falls to his doom*

 

"I'm sorry, Skywalker's wounds from his battle with Lord Vader were too great and we have decided to euthanize him"
"But I'm still-"
"I SAID we have decided to euthanize him!"

 

Tarkin: Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? That's not a bad idea!

 

Owen "What about that blue one, we'll take that one"
Jawa "Ok sure thing old man. Anything else?"
Owen "No just those two"
Jawa "That'll be 1685 for the pair"
Owen "Ok that's fine...what, wait a minute I seem to have lost my wallet! Damn it"
Jawa "We don't offer lay away old timer. Sorry"
Owen "No hang on, it's gotta be around here somewhere"
Jawa "Yeah maybe it's under some sand! We don't have time to wait pops"
Owen "Come on, you know I'm good for it. I can offer you some moisture, how about that?"
Jawa "Forget it gramps. We'll be back this way in a few weeks with some other droids. See you then"

 

"The power's not back! That little droid is useless! We-"
*Queen's ship explodes*

 

QUI-GON: We will be patient. Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anakin: Are you an angel?

Obi-Wan: What?

Anakin: An angel. I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. They live on the Moons of Iego I think.

 

"Qui-Gon, wait, sir, I'm tried."
*Maul makes a beeline on his hovercraft right towards Annie igniting his lightsaber*
"Anakin! Keep running in a straight line! Don't look back---oh, eugh. That didn't turn out so well..."

 

This is why it's legit stupid that Mace killed him even after destroying his blaster (unarmed foe much? "it's not the Jedi way!")

 

He wasn't unarmed. His suit is a weapon & contains all sorts of nasty tricks.

 

Like he couldn't have just held the lightsaber to his neck instead of cutting through it? Think of how valuable a prisoner Jango would have made

 

Under normal circumstances yes. In the middle of a huge battle in a closed off arena surrounded by hundreds of battle droids...not really the time to grab Jango & say "you're under arrest sir, come with me"

 

To add on to this...

"Anakin–drop!"
"What? Why?"
*splat*