How would Famous Authors write your favorite SW Scene?

Data463 and Opi Won... those were wondereful!

 

Yes!! and now we imagine the soundtrack morphing from John Williams and the LSO to the Guy's All Star (!!!!) shoe band... EEE!

 

LOL. Up!

 

Wow! Amazing! - this is great stuff

 

Star Wars
X-WING
STARFIGHTERS OF DISCWORLD

Wedge brought his X-Wing in low as he approached the Disc from space*....

....Rincewind looked around the unfamiliar landscape of Coruscant. Everywhere, speeder traffic moved overhead. Everyone was in a hurry; this was so alien, not at all like home. Nothing. Like. Home.
"Nerf sausages inna bun! Ruby bliels, cold as Hoth!" Rincewind followed the voice to a speaker mounted on an Ubrikkian cargo skiff that was a mobile kitchen.
"Uh...sir, you, um wouldnt' happen to be...."
"Cut-Meself-In-Half-With-Me-Own-Lightsaber Dibbler, at your service!".....

*The unique risk of a low approach vector to the Discworld, of course, is that one might give Great A'Tuin a T-65 Enema.

 

ROFL!! Opie!

 

Apologies to Kerouac:

With the coming of Han Solo began the part of my life you would call my life on the road. I first met Han in the old Mos Eisley Cantina, where the Modal Nodes played lunchtime gigs to all the down and out spacers....

 

Ok, Hilaire Belloc may not be famous, but I was brought up on his 'Bad Child's Book of Beasts, More Beasts for Worse Children, etc.' (a Dover reprint)

The Wampa, the Wampa, he dwells in the waste,
He has a big head and a very small waist;
But his shoulders are stark and his jaws they are grim,
And a good little child will not play with him.

The Kaadu eats between his meals,
And that's the reason why
He very, very rarely feels
As well as you and I.
His eye is dull, his head is bald,
His neck is growing thinner.
Oh! what a lesson for us all
To only eat at dinner!

 

Dear Diary,
Battle. Shot down a few corralskippers. Wish it was more. Die, Yuzzy Vong, die!
Sincerely yours, Jaina

Ok, so you get the idea. Heh heh, I love these books, but the style would totally suck for Star Wars.
-------------------------


Highly cute, Rebecca! I liked it.

 

Just about any romance novel...

Roughly Luke grabbed Mara by her strong shoulders, chest heaving and with lips moist, she allowed herself to be kissed roughly. She couldn't contain herself any longer, his powerful man-ness was too much for her yearning womanhood, she had to have him right now. She was only human and he was only the most powerful Jedi in this galaxy of love.

Mara sighed, "Oh, Luke, I've waited for this day for so long!"

"Mara, my love," breathed Luke, his voice thick with passion and eyes only for her, "it is destiny that has brought us here this night."

"Oh, Luke! My body yearns for you like mynock for a power cable," Mara turned away to bite her knuckle between her teeth, body trembling, "But there is something I must tell you."

Luke's eyes flickered in the darkness, uncertain, "What, my love?"

Tears welling up in her bottomless green eyes, Mara Jade whirled to face him, "I have loved you since the first time I ever met you! But I hated you as well for what I thought you had done. I was just too selfish to admit it, can you ever forgive me?"

Luke fumbled for his lightsaber, "Mara, Mara, Mara, how could I ever be angry with you?" he released the blade...


...and let it fall to the bed.

"Oh, Luke!" breathed Mara, voice almost a whisper as she flung herself into his arms, "Tell me you love me!"

Luke kissed her a hundred times, "I love you!" and felt her body melt and yield to him, "I love you!"

 

LOL, Kier Nimmion!

 

LOL for the romance one!

Thanks for thinking mine was cute. Here's another one, as written by Ann M. Martin (Babysitter's Club author):

Jaina stood nervously before her parents. "Mom," she said, "I gotta talk to you. Oh, and you too, Dad."

"What is it, my dear?" asked Mom.

"Well, I know you two have always encouraged me in whatever I wanted to do. So I feel I must let you know I have found my calling. I know you always wanted me to be a politician, Mom. And that you always wanted me to be a pilot, Dad. And that Uncle Luke always wanted me to be a Jedi. But well, me and a couple of my friends, we've decided we want something else."

"What would that be?"

"We want to be babysitters. So we're starting the Babysitters Club. Me, Tenal Ka, and Tahiri. I'm sure our knowledge of the Force will prove useful in caring for adorable, lovable kids. And we're getting paid twenty credits an hour."

"Who would pay that?!?!" asked Mom incredously.

"The Force is a useful bargaining tool."

Just then Jacen walked into the room. "Hey, Dad, Mom, gotta tell you. I've decided to start a pet sitting business. What d'ya think??"

 

LOL! Wonderful new additions.
I'm starting to imagine more possibilities than I have time (or brain cells) to pursue...
James Joyce? Homeric epic? (let's say the Fitzgerald translation, much more immediate than the Lattimore) Or perhaps norse/celtic, with all the alliterations instead of rhymes.
For the other end of the literary spectrum, Ogden Nash? Berenstein Bears? Little Golden Books? (especially the ones with bunnies in them) OK, I'll have to take a little homework on this one, I guess.

 

The figure sat shrouded in darkness, as if shadows were the robes with which he normally clad himself, and as if they could hide his pain. He watched the stars outside the vast panoramic view port of transparasteel while below was Coruscant, unaware that he was watching, but know he was there. The stars were cold, his are empty.

He was Jedi.

Luke Skywalker stood, the shadows followed, like the cold silk of night he felt the darkness follow him up. He had fought for so much, seen so many die, suffer, to arrive at this day victorious. But there had been no glory and all he could see were the faces of those he had killed. Everyone who had ever died he carried with him.

He was Jedi, it was the way.

----------------------------

Nah, I can't get the right pretentiousness to write like Anne Rice or be as maudlin for angst ridden for a Vampire: The Masquerade Character.

 

Hey, Rebecca, how would a Sweet Jedi (Valley) High book go?

(Not that you would know, but I thought you might know

 

Really like this thread!

Oh, and...


500th post!

 

And now, a recently discovered unpublished work by Samual Coleridge...

The Rime of the Ancient Jedi Master

It is an ancient Jedi, and he sitteth among the trees; "By they long pointed ears and thy buggy eyes, what do you want with me?;

The X-Wing's hull is opened wide; and I am mad as sin; My R2's wet, and I'm mad as heck, now shoo! or I'll do you in!"

He holds him with his gimer stick, "A boy, there was," quoth he; "Hold off, unhand me, long eared loon!" Eftsoons his stick dropped he.

He holds him with a buggy eye; the Jedi apprentice stood still; And listens like a three years' child: The Jedi Master hath his will.

The Jedi Apprentice sat on a stone: He cannot choose but hear; And thus spake on that ancient troll, The bright-eyed Jedi Master.

___________

Eh, you get the drift. Too much to write, not enough time.

Data4

 

Ok.... here goes Sweet Valley Jedi Academy (based on the couple I read YEARSSSSS ago).....


Jaina, Tenel Ka, and Tahiri sat on the lawn in front of the Sweet Valley Jedi Academy gossiping as they ate their lunch.

"Hey, Tenal Ka," asked Jaina, "have you seen those new Calvin Klein Jedi robes? They're really cool, and they come in a few colors."

"My dad bought me three," said Tenel Ka. "And a Tommy Hillfiger one."

Jaina smirked. "Well, I have four.... of each. And a Ralph Lauren flight suit."

"Ok, well, whatever. So, has Zekk asked you out on a date yet?" asked Tenel Ka.

"Yeah, we went to the Courscant Multiplex. Used the Force to make the employees think we were 18, and saw an R Rated movie."

"Anakin and I did that once. I think it was Terror at the Sarlacc Pit, or something. Really gory.... but cool," said Tahiri.

"Oh, how come Jacen never lets us do that?" scowled Tenel Ka. "We always are stuck seeing a PG-13 one, because the Force is 'Only for good.' Blah, that's boring. But hey, he's cute, so I'll put up with it."

"I can't believe you like my brother. He's so annoying, with all those stupid jokes."

Just then the bell rang. "Oh, drat, I guess we'll finish this later," scowled Jaina, throwing the remains of her Whaladon (Glove of Darth Vader joke) Burger in the trash. "I've got Advanced Levitating now."

"Same here," said Tahiri.

"Well, I've got Advanced Lightsaber Techniques," said Tenel Ka, finishing her mashed topatos. "So, we're going to get into that R rated movie tonight, right? 10 oclock standard time?"

Tahiri and Jaina nodded.

Tenel Ka giggled. "Ooooh, this is gonna be fun!"

 

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA That one is funny Rebecca

 

You just made my day. Thanks, Hellspit.

 

I've never read "Sweet Valley" and I was LOL. Are they really that shallow?

 

I don't think I want to find out. LOL!

 

Based on what I know (and it isn't that much) I would say that yes, they are that shallow.

 

So, anyone have any suggestions for what I shall make fun of next??

 

I would do Brian Lumley with his whole "Super science and the supernatural" speech which is repeated in every one of his Necroscope books, but I'm far too lazy.