[Humor] Funny stuff from around the net

Strategist.

"Strategists are the group most likely to say they are unhappy in their job."

LOL.

 

Realist. Not 100%, but yes.

Summary of Realists

* Loyal and steady workers who meet deadlines
* Believe in established rules and respect facts
* Think of themselves as mature, stable and conscientious
* May appear too logical or tough-minded and forget their impact on other people

More about Realists

Realists are loyal to the people around them and work hard to keep their promises. They are honest and straightforward with others and expect the same in return. Realists believe in standard procedures and will only support change when there is a demonstrable benefit. Yeah, uh, no. I'm always doing my job differently and fighting for changes to be made. ALWAYS.

Realists respect factual information, which they store up to use when making decisions. This group likes to have time to think quietly and carefully before taking action.

These extremely productive people like to be occupied in their leisure time with pursuits such as craftwork, hiking or reading. ...extremely productive...? Yeah, only because I talk the customers out of what they bought and into something easier for me to do!

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Realists may become obsessed with schedules, critical of others or have trouble trusting other people to get the job done properly. Under extreme stress, Realists may complain loudly that events have taken a turn for the worse and predict negative outcomes.

Realists typically only share their opinions or personal experiences with trusted friends. Like the time I went bungee jumping. No? Oh.

Realist Careers

Realists are attracted to jobs where decision making based on factual knowledge and experience is required. I'm right because I know what I'm doing; therefore, this is what we're gonna do.

It's important to remember that no survey can predict personality type with 100 percent accuracy. Experts say that we should use personality type to better understand ourselves and others, but shouldn't feel restricted by our results.

 

Like you needed a test to tell us that

---

Your answers suggest you are a Resolver
The four aspects that make up this personality type are:


Summary of Resolvers
Good at getting to the heart of a problem and quickly finding a solution
Make rational decisions using the facts available
Think of themselves as understanding, stable and easy-going
May focus on short-term results and lose sight of the big picture

More about Resolvers
Resolvers are independent people who quietly learn how things work by analysing large amounts of information. Should a problem arise, they solve it with as little fuss as possible. Resolvers are only interested in abstract ideas, if they can be used to solve a problem quickly.

Resolvers like to take risks: Many of them seek jobs and pastimes that put them in harms way and guarantee an adrenaline rush.


Resolvers have changed jobs most frequently since leaving full-time education, according to a UK survey.
Resolvers are often tolerant of behaviour different to their own as long as their values aren't compromised. They sometimes give the impression that they agree with other peoples' viewpoints because they don't actively disagree.

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Resolvers may become cynical, negatively critical or put off decisions. Under extreme stress, Resolvers could be prone to inappropriate, tearful outbursts.[color=red]Yeah, right![/color] :^O

Resolvers are quiet and sometimes it is difficult to get to know them; however, they often talk freely about subjects they understand well.

Resolver Careers
Resolvers are often drawn to hands-on jobs that require an analytical mind and careful organisation of large amounts of data.

 

Been a while since anyone has seen this one, and the Airwolf thing reminded me of it.

Dance, Monkeys, Dance

And thanks again to Zoom who helped me find it last time

 

Your answers suggest you are a Resolver.

 

Since I didn't post all the good stuff about being a "Performer"

Results
Your answers suggest you are a Performer
The four aspects that make up this personality type are: Spontaneous, Facts, Heart, Extrovert


Summary of Performers
Love fun, people and the world around them
Prefer hands-on learning to reading a book
Think of themselves as enthusiastic, sociable or sensitive
May forget about commitments because they're having so much fun
More about Performers
For the Performers, people and the exciting world around them come before rules and routines. This group believes you can get work done efficiently and have fun at the same time. Others are naturally drawn to the Performers' outgoing nature and enjoyment of life.


Performers are most likely to say they dislike reading travel books, according to a UK survey.
Performers are good at reading people and figuring out what their needs are. They don't believe in making plans and are confident that they can handle whatever comes their way. These skills allow Performers to quickly motivate others.

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Performers may become distracted, fail to accept or meet deadlines, or take criticism too personally. Under extreme stress, Performers can be overwhelmed by thinking of all the things that could possibly go wrong.

Performers may live for the moment and forget the consequences of their actions.

Performer Careers
Performers are drawn to careers that require people skills and attention to detail.

 

not really funny, didn't know where else to put it...

the rose parade...with grand marshall GL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxBDOtMR7UM

i think kevin was there...

 

[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v105/hofmann/xmas.jpg]


look hard at it!

 

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her
thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared And
asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and That
she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their Family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble Set
with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked

The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble Ringed
with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, "No."


The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is This
your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three
Thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the
Riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the
water.

When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you
Crying?"

"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this
your husband?" the Lord asked.


"Yes," cried the seamstress.


The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord It is a
Misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would
have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come
up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all
three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take
care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said
'yes' to George Clooney."

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and
honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed,
All Us Women

 

I found Waldo!

 

Have you ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
M y tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H eard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
L ooking back over the years

That we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What I was thinking?"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
C ongratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H ow could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I 've always wanted to have

Someone to hold,

Someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.


-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.


####################################################
C ongratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.


********************************************************************************
H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H appy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
W hen we were together,

You always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
W e have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I 'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.


=====================================================
C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?


%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Y our friends and I wanted to do

Something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

 

These were interesting....(run your cursor over the screen til you get a hand, then click. Lotsa figuring out stuff as you go along.)

http://www.samorost.net/samorost1/

http://www.samorost.net/samorost2/

 

After Snakes on a Plane... there were Goats on a Boat

 

OK, we gals have Victoria's Secret, and I guess you guys have this:

http://www.barenecessities.com/product.asp?pf_id=CIN21035&source=eMSNProduct&term=CIN21035&cm_mmc=MSNS-_-Underwear-_-CIN21035-_-NA&ClickType=Shop

 

That's just so... wrong *shudder*

LMAO

 

Star Wars Public Safety Announcement: Dark Sith Lords who use lightsabers have kids who use lightsabers

 

The U.S.S. Enterprise stumbles across the...Death Star?

 

Oh, that was so wrong...the Enterprise would have kicked butt!

 

Hahahahaha! That was awesome!

 

Best stock ticker. Ever.

 

I just watched the episode where they got alot of the footage.


Reya, maybe a against the ties and a single Impmark duee. But against the Executor, or a fleet. No, the enterprise would be slag in a ferengi scrap yard. Against the the death star, it would be just a fond memory in starfleets history.

 

I can just hear the Tolkieneenies going off now.

 

There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses!

I thought the results were pretty interesting:

85% of women think their ass is too big...

10% of women think their ass is too little...

The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him, he's a good man,
and they would have married him anyway.....

 

Here you go folks, you can see Hayden Christensen get it on with Sienna Miller in his upcoming movie..... Literally.


Apparently the love scene in the upcoming mivie, Factory Girl, the lovemanking wasn't acting.

Little "Ani"'s all grown up now...

 

Mooninites invade Boston, shut city down, prompt terror alert, flip people off and claim, "No one can defeat the quad laser!"