Nicolas Cage is Howard Stern in "Cinderella on Fire", a Lars Von Trier movie about Howard Stern starring in a musical about Cinderella being a pyro.
nicolas cage plays a new york city hot dog vendor who one day is suddenly abducted by a retired mob boss with alzheimer's (ted danson). after several tense scenes the two slowly bond and eventually share a heartwarming and romantic camping trip in upstate new york. it is there that lou (the mob boss), for once lucid and at peace, tragically dies in the arms of a heartbroken jim (the hot dog vendor).
nicolas cage plays the heir to an olde english kingdom. his father is dying of mercury poisoning when an alien armada invades and razes the kingdom to the ground. nicolas cage must rebuild his lands and reunite his people in rebellion against their alien overlords.
A modern retelling of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, starring only Nicholas Cage, playing every mental institution patient.
Andrew, of course. Actually, not "of course", as the any number of these excellent ideas were in Burton's Superman vision.
Nic Cage could remake ET: Or Voltron: Culminating in a scene just before he confronts the villain (played by David Spade) his consciousness merges will all the lions to create Cagetron:
cage would make a very sassy robocop. i don't know if ocp would put up with that much sass from one of its products.