Memph, TN Jokes Jacob will never get

Welcome to the Jokes Jacob will never get movie awards!

In honor of the Academy Award Nominations, I thought it would be fun to have our own movie awards. The best movies of all time that I won?t ever see. Here are the categories (all nominations must have an R rating--please no NC-17 or X):

Coolest Action flick Jacob will never see:

Funniest Comedy Jacob won?t ever see:

Sexiest Movie Jacob won?t see:

Most uplifting/mind-expanding/change your life Movie Jacob will never see:

Best R Movie of All Time (I say all time, but I mean since 1977 or so):

Please make nominations in as many categories as you can. You can add categories if you feel the need.

I may make some polls for official winners after we get enough nominations.

 

Aw, c'mon, Jacob... Why not include "X" and "NC-17"? Behind the Green Door was a cinematic triumph.

Bow-chicka-bow-bow.

 

I haven't the foggiest idea, Tim.

Same here.

"You want one of these?"
"No thanks, I drink."


"End of Days", after Jericho Cane (Gov. Arnold) is offered some painkillers.


"You're a psychopath."
"No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for *money*. It's a *job*. That didn't come out right."

-Joe

 

That's not from Gross Pointe Blank is it, Joe?

 

These will take some thought, but right off-hand (while waiting for my next 11:30 meeting to start any minute now........)

Coolest Action flick Jacob will never see:
The Terminator, Aliens, Die Hard, Desperado

Funniest Comedy Jacob won?t ever see: Clerks

Most uplifting/mind-expanding/change your life Movie Jacob will never see: Dogma

-Joe (more later)

 

That's not from Gross Pointe Blank is it, Joe?


Correct!

And yours was from?????

-Joe

 

Titanic.

No... It was from The Jerk. (You have to sing the line while in the bathtub. Oh, and Bernadette Peters has to be in the next room writing you a goodbye note.)

 

Damn, I need to watch The Jerk again. That's a FUNNY movie Jacob will never see. I know I was happy when the new phone book came out.

-Joe

 

I've been told many times to see that movie.