Jokes....

Now THAT is genius!

 

i thought i would resurrect this thread with this little humourism (circa 1999 )


A bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of beer, and the bartender
says, "That'll be five pence, please."
The guy nearly spits out his beer. "five pence?!" he says in amazement.
"How much for a plate of fish and chips with extra mashed potatoes and gravy and a side order of peas?"
"ten pence," says the bartender.
The customer says he's going to recommend this place to all of his friends because of the low prices. "Wow!" he exclaims. "Where's the manager so I can thank him for these low prices and shake his hand?"
"Upstairs," says the bartender, "with my wife."
"What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" the customer asks.
"Same thing I'm doing to his pub and his money," the bartender calmly replies.

 

An oldie but a classic none the less.

 

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor: "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant. What do you think of that?"

The doctor replied: "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella by mistake. When he got to the woods, he saw a deer. He raised his umbrella and went, ''BANG!'' and the deer fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said: "I'd say somebody else shot the deer."

The doctor said: "My point exactly."