Saga - Legends Just Another Mission (Siri Tachi, AU, angst)

Title: Just Another Mission
Author: Gabri_Jade
Timeframe: between TPM and AotC; during the Jedi Quest series (I think about 28BBY)
Characters: Siri Tachi
Genre: angst, AU, implied Siriwan

Summary: In the battle between friendship and duty, which will prevail?

Notes: I wrote this 15-20 years ago in response to a challenge: “One member of a couple is sentenced to death, and dies. No happy endings.” I never posted it—so far as I remember, that was because I’d never actually read the books that featured Siri (still haven’t ) and wasn’t confident in my characterization and AU spin on a plot arc I knew only through fanfic. I rediscovered this fic in my files a few years ago and still hesitated to post it, essentially for the same reason. But @ViariSkywalker and @Mira_Jade think I should post it, and they’re pretty convincing, so here we are It’s old, it’s unbetaed, I hope you like it anyway. I really wish I’d included in my original file whose challenge inspired this, but I didn’t. Thank you, angsty prompter of Ye Olden Days at the JC. Almost two decades later, here’s a response for you.

---

It was just another mission. A simple one this time, Zora thought as she strode swiftly toward the bridge. These diplomatic ships were nearly always easy targets, after all. Soft. You'd think that even the diplomats would have learned by now that soft didn't get you very far in this galaxy. Still, if their ignorance led to her profit, she'd not argue the point.

She was approvingly noticing the almost imperceptible but uniform shudders of the deck beneath her feet that signified smooth weapons operations when a burst of Force-agony doubled her over with shared pain.

The Force.

Even as the agony dulled, Zora stood frozen, a hand pressing against the corridor wall as though it was a lifeline. The Force was a myth, a myth perpetuated by the Jedi to justify their elite standing—

No, a nearly forgotten part of her mind shrieked. This is the falsehood, this life, this corruption, not the Force—

I'm Zora, pirate, outlaw—

Siri, Jedi Knight—

Siri stood shivering, no longer even seeing her surroundings, overwhelmed by the sudden struggle within her.

"Zora?"

Zora calmly turned to glare at the speaker. "What?"

Rosha stood behind her, her head tilted as she looked questioningly at Zora, as always, her narrowed eyes obscured by a mop of unruly hair; hair nearly as dark as Zora's own—No, Siri whispered, my hair is blonde—

"Want to explain why you're just standing around when there's work to be done?" Rosha asked scornfully.

"And since when do I explain anything to you, Hutt-slime?" Zora asked with equal contempt.

Rosha tossed her sloppy hair back, unimpressed. Zora watched her with cold eyes, while somewhere deep inside, Siri watched it all wide-eyed, amazed that this way of life could ever have become familiar.

"It is a common danger associated with deep undercover missions," the comfortingly familiar voice of Master Adi said as Siri carefully read the datapad that outlined the proposed mission.

"Losing yourself—" Siri looked up and shook her head. "Master, how could I ever forget this?" She swept a hand around to indicate her quarters within the Temple. "Or you, or myself? It is no danger."

Her comlink beeped harshly, and she thumbed it on and brought it to her mouth, her eyes never leaving Rosha's. "Zora here."

"Zora." It was Krayn's voice, calm, with that ever-present edge of cruelty. Like a dirtied, clouded sea, Siri thought, full of hidden dangers beneath the deceptive stillness. "Get down to the docking bay, now." The connection clicked off.

Zora raised an eyebrow at Rosha, whose eyes narrowed further. They turned from each other cautiously, the eye contact never breaking until they were both well out of striking range. It took another moment beyond that before they fully turned away, both reluctant to expose any vulnerabilities. Even as Zora walked away, she listened to Rosha's departing steps behind her, keeping her hand hovering over her blaster, just in case.

Walking within the Temple, calm serenity penetrating to one's very bones. Every person you meet, a brother or sister . . .

A shudder ran through Siri, and she forced herself to concentrate. That pain she'd felt was still present but dimmed. She could discern nothing beyond the pain, but it felt connected with Krayn's call, somehow. The Force whispered to her of danger, a danger beyond the physical.

She had not shaken that feeling when she entered the docking bay. She saw only the backs of a handful of fellow pirates, clustered around something on the deck . . .

Krayn turned to face her, a mocking hatred simmering behind his eyes. "Look what we found." He held a hand out to her, and Zora reached out her own hand to receive what he offered, strangely mesmerized by his hate and glancing down only belatedly at what she now held.

Siri nearly dropped the lightsaber hilt.

"A lightsaber is a reflection of yourself, and of your connection to the Force. An elegant weapon, symbolic of all that we are."

Zora's reflexes intervened, keeping Siri's fingers curled around the hilt and her face expressionless. Zora hefted the hilt experimentally, looking questioningly toward Krayn.

"A lightsaber," he said.

Zora looked carefully at the hilt, gently pressing the activator. The blue blade sprang to sizzling life, and Siri tentatively swung it in the horizontal side-swipe that was the basis of Form I.

A swift twist of her wrist, and the blue blade went flying from her opponent's hand.

"Well done, Siri," Master Adi said, her voice and eyes warm even if her words were calm.

Master Jinn's voice, with that knowing hint of laughter it so often contained. "You'll have to practice more if you want to beat young Siri, Obi-Wan."

"What are you doing?" Krayn hissed, and, startled, Siri deactivated the lightsaber and handed it back.

"Curious, that's all," Zora told him defensively.

Krayn struck her with a ringing blow across the side of her head. "I don't pay you to be curious!"

Siri fought back a sudden urge to call the lightsaber back to her hand. Zora lifted her chin with a defiance born of self-preservation. "Why did you call me here, Krayn?"

"Where do you think a lightsaber comes from, Zora?" Krayn asked, quiet venom coloring his voice.

"From a Jedi, of course—" Zora's scorn fell silent as Krayn's wave motioned the others away from their point of focus, blasters still held ready and aimed. She saw the small, still body first. The face was turned away; all she saw was short blond hair, and the single braid. Stricken, Siri looked quickly away.

Only then did she see him. Barely older than herself, kneeling on the deck with his hands bound behind his back. He looked away from his padawan as she did, and their eyes met. Zora stared. What was a Jedi doing here?

"From the diplomat ship," Krayn said scornfully. "Trying to sabotage us, apparently. They never got that far."

Adi's hand was a soothing warmth on the side of Siri's face. "We will find a way to contact you when your mission has been accomplished, my Padawan."

His hair was longer, and he had a beard—He looks so mature, so distinguished, Siri thought with surprise—but it was definitely him, nevertheless. Obi-Wan Kenobi, who had always tried so hard to be the model Jedi, was now glaring at her with both recognition and a very un-Jedi-like hatred in his eyes. The recognition caused an unexpectedly strong surge of hope within her, hope that the charade was over, hope that she could go home, away from the filth that dominated her every waking moment. The hatred irrevocably struck down the hope before it could do more than make Siri's heart ache with a desperate longing. He knew her, all right, but he didn't know of her mission. He still believed the pretense that made the mission possible; he believed Siri's staged quarrel with Adi and her subsequent break from the Jedi. He believed that she had betrayed them.

"Kill him."

Zora turned away from the hostility in the Jedi's eyes and faced Krayn. "What?"

"You heard me," Krayn said. "Kill him."

The lightsaber—Krayn was always so suspicious. If she hadn't ignited the lightsaber—

Zora's hand reached automatically for her blaster; Siri stopped before she reached it. "It's a Jedi, Krayn. You don't want to kill him yourself?"

Krayn's arms folded across his chest, and the suspicion was blatantly manifest in his expression. "I took care of the little one. This one's yours, Zora."

Kill Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan who had irritated her so as they grew up, with his constant determination to out-Jedi them all? Obi-Wan, who despite it all had been her friend? Siri remembered that when she had dared to dream of going home, Obi-Wan had always figured in those dreams. He would have forgiven her for her betrayal of the Jedi, she knew, when he realized that it had all been part of a mission. They would resume their friendship; they would spar again, and he would roll his eyes at her triumph when she beat him; he would help her soothe the aches in her soul that this mission had inflicted—

"Now, Zora," Krayn snarled.

"Krayn possesses a brutality beyond that even of most slavers." Adi's expression had been more serious than Siri could ever remember seeing. "It is a daunting mission for one so young, I know, but the Council believes you can do it. As do I." Adi smiled, and Siri felt such pride, that her Master would have such confidence in her. "Krayn must be brought down. It is of the utmost importance."

Her mission had not yet been accomplished. Krayn was still a threat. If she was revealed as a Jedi, she would die as well, and Krayn would be ever more cautious about accepting any new crew members. Any Jedi who tried to correct Siri's own mistakes would face greater danger, and near-certain failure.

Krayn had to be stopped. No matter the cost.

Zora aimed her blaster. He's only a Jedi.

Siri pulled the trigger.

 

Scary and what will happen to Obi-Wan?

 

Okay, this was heartbreaking... I feel so bad for Siri and how she's going to live with this if she survives this mission and returns to the Jedi Order. It doesn't sound like you've got plans to continue this storyline, but if your muse strikes you to do so, please put me on the list!

 

@Gabri_Jade this was so riveting! I loved the flashbacks and the internal struggle as Zora is in conflict with Siri as to identity and loyalties. Krayn is a threat that must be eliminated but at such a tragic cost! I long even as Siri thinks about it that she can complete her mission and return to the wawrm affirmation of Master Adi and the affectionate friendship (or more) with Obi-Wan.

 

I really like how you space out the story, makes it very readable.
It's a hard balance keeping paragraphs from becoming blocks of texts, you keep it very clear and concise, plenty of room to breathe.

 

Well, I've been phenomenally neglectful here, haven't I? Time to fix that

@earlybird-obi-wan

Siri kills him Sorry, the prompt required that he die. But it's only an AU so you can ignore it. I do

@UltramassiveUbersue

Thank you! No, currently no plans to continue, but I'll be sure to let you know if I change my mind

@devilinthedetails

Well, consider me relieved that such a hardcore Siri fan approves

Again, honestly I'm relieved that this feels authentic when all my knowledge of Siri comes from fanfic. There used to be quite a lot of Siri stories floating around and I read many of them and liked her very much (named one of my cats after her; she's still with me, a cranky old lady approaching twenty), but since I hadn't read the source material I was unsure how accurate my portrayal would be, either of the character or the situation. But I was kind of fascinated that Siri had actually gone undercover as a pirate like this, and it seemed like there was a lot of dramatic potential to be had with any deep cover scenario.

That sort of determination seemed like a core part of Siri's personality, which is one of the reasons I always liked her.

Heh, and this too

Adi is another character I know mostly through fanfic, but always liked. And I always got the impression that Siri and Adi were close, and I wanted to do that justice, even if briefly. I'm very happy to have succeeded

Thank you!

I think this tiny scrap is the only time I've written Qui-Gon, actually But it seemed that something like this would essentially be Siri's warm childhood memories of being with family, and that based on the history I knew about, Qui-Gon would be one of the masters she knew best and would be most comfortable with.

Thank you! I know the Jedi of that time held up the ideal of not having attachments, and I know that that doesn't mean that they never cared about anyone at all, just that they felt they couldn't care so much that they would fight against the apparent will of the Force to avoid letting go of someone, as Yoda explained in RotS and as Luminara Unduli demonstrated in TCW. But the master/padawan relationship especially really requires a deep level of closeness, and we see over and over again that it's very akin to a parent/child relationship, even for the more stoic or undemonstrative masters, and I always got the impression that Siri and Adi were genuinely close and affectionate.

Color me relieved again Seriously, I was a much less experienced writer when I wrote this, and I wasn't familiar with Siri's canon source material, and almost never wrote in this era, and I don't think I'd ever written flashbacks before this, and the switching from Siri's to Zora's mindsets and back again felt so crucial to this piece yet I wasn't sure if I'd pulled it off convincingly - when it comes right down to it, there were a lot of reasons why I didn't post this at the time. But I was always fond of it, and I'm so glad that I didn't botch it after all. If I was going to post a Siri story, I wanted it to be a good one. One of these days I'll have to finally read Siri's books, and maybe then I'll manage to write more fics with her. I really always did like her

Aw, thanks so much

@WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

Thank you! Alas, it was an unrelentingly angsty prompt and I had to obey

@Mira_Jade

lolol and here I am much longer than that with proper replies

lollll I do know

That was definitely one of my major concerns back when I wrote this, so I genuinely am relieved that it worked.

You know me, I may not write angst as often as some, but when I do, I commit

She'd really have to, wouldn't she? The contrast is just so severe.

I don't think Vi will object if I borrow her signature gif:

AW YEAH SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR



Mira, as someone who saw RotJ at just about that age, and who played SW with friends in fourth grade herself, and who read and reread the OT novelizations because that was all there was, and who at 16 was awed to find A NEW SW BOOK in Barnes and Noble and snatched up HttE and finally, finally saw more women than just Leia and Mon Mothma (who I still wholeheartedly adore) - and not just that, but one with red hair and green eyes just like me - let us just say, I relate. And I am extra glad that this fic worked for you (I also just personally cannot with Obi-Wan/Satine for multiple reasons; in fact I think that Obi-Wan would be genuinely happy to be the perfect Jedi and go his whole life without romantic attachments, but I always thought that from what I saw of her, if he'd wind up with anyone, it would be Siri.)

Heh, aside from being a logical continuation of the narrative, that part was intended to be an extra twist of the knife. The forum was much more prone to glory in angsty, angsty stories twenty years ago (before the EU followed up the NJO with DN and LotF and created a general angst overload and backlash), and as I recall, it was fairly common for us to try to outdo each other in that department. Not that I ever had a chance with Vi and Elli around

Like I said, we tried to outdo each other in breaking hearts

Exactly. Siri just always seemed like this sort, who would give everything for the greater good. I guess that was one of the reasons I could always see her and Obi-Wan as a potential pair.

Oh, I'm glad you caught that, because it was very deliberate wording

*sits cheerfully in the angsty time-out corner and ponders writing the to-come-eventually Broken AU 'verse with Luke imprisoned on Myrkr*

I appreciate you reading it despite your general non-angst preferences, and hope you found some good mush to counteract it

@Findswoman

The words every angst writer longs to hear *sips from mug of reader tears*

Thank you, I'm so glad that the conflict was effective! As I said to devil, I was much, much newer to writing back when I wrote this, and was never sure if I'd accomplished what I set out to with this fic. It's a relief that it was okay after all

I love your optimism We were a really angsty bunch back in the PT-and-shortly-afterward days, Finds

Aw, shucks Thanks so much for taking a chance on it

@ConservativeJedi321

Thank you, glad you liked it!

 

Not at all

I feel compelled to point out that I was hardly the angstiest writer back then, nor the most prolific, and that for a good portion of my first decade here, I was mostly in my own little world writing a very unoriginal OT AU epic that I never finished, oops.

 

VEIL OF SHADOWS, WHERE'S MY SEQUEL

Also, hush, you. I wasn't especially prolific back then either, and you were definitely one of the angstmongers - more than I was, despite Perversity of Life Where's Bri, we gotta resurrect Angst Fest Friday

 

lolll yeah I guess VoS was pretty angsty. There was even going to be Luke/Shira in the sequel...

(Although when I said an unoriginal AU, I meant DFC. I was actually pretty pleased with the originality of VoS, even if my notes for the sequel(s) are an overly tangled and melodramatic mess that I'm not sure I can or should salvage. )

ANGST!