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Nash, TN Late Show with David Letterman Top 10 Lists

Discussion in 'SouthEast Regional Discussion' started by Toymaster, Nov 9, 2002.

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  1. Toymaster

    Toymaster Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 19, 2002
    Oops...looks like I forgot to post a Top Ten last week. Never fear, this week's installment is a Late Show classic, from April 28, 1999:

    Top Ten Star Wars Fan Euphemisms For Not Having A Girlfriend

    Camping alone outside the theater.

    9. My force is no longer with me.

    8. The Death Star is not yet operational.

    7. The Empire's striking out.

    6. Shaking hands with the wookie.

    5. Darth Vader has no place to put his helmet.

    4. Oiling the droid.

    3. Unable to set coordinates for the planet Babe.

    2. Spending the night with Han Solo.

    1. Tractor beam not powerful enough.

    Oh yeah, and happy birthday to Fan Force Member, Stormtrooper and brother-of-mine TK-6873!

  2. Toymaster

    Toymaster Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 19, 2002
    This week's Late Show Top Ten is from May 7, 1998. It's actually based on another classic American film, but it does have a Star Wars reference...

    Top Ten Ways The Wizard of Oz Would Be Different if it Were Made Today

    Grisly scene in which Dorothy blasts flying monkeys out of the sky with an uzi

    9. Katie bar the door! There's a giant asteroid headed straight for Oz!

    8. Dorothy steps outside and says, "Like, this is so not Kansas!"

    7. Instead of "oil," tin man moans, "Viagra"

    6. Kathie Lee Gifford plays Dorothy -- audience roots for witch

    5. It would be named "Twister II"

    4. To prepare for his role as the Scarecrow, DeNiro would have his brain removed

    3. Lovable dog Toto replaced by lovable droid T.O.T.O.

    Lions and tigers and bears, oh sh**!

    1. New title -- "Wiz Got Game"

  3. Toymaster

    Toymaster Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 19, 2002
    Whoa, I been getting a little behind on the Top Tens. But for this week, I went way back into the archives and got a list from the old "Late Night" days. It's a bit dated, but I think you'll all enjoy it:

    Top Ten Things Overheard in Line for Kickboxer II

    "I hear there's lots of kickboxing in this one."

    9. "If you didn't see part one, you probably won't be able to follow it."

    8. "It's a lot like Star Wars, only it doesn't take place in outer space and there's a lot more kicking."

    "Do me a favor and kick me a couple times to get me in the mood."

    6. "Excuse me, Mrs. Onassis, but could you quit shoving?"

    5. "I'll bet Julia Roberts broke up with Kiefer Sutherland 'cause he couldn't kickbox."

    4. "So after I knocked over the vase and flowers, my mom said 'No more kickboxing.'"

    3. "It's adapted from the Henry James novel."

    2. "Do you think Kickboxer could beat Terminator?"

    1. "It's the best movie ever made about people kicking each other."
  4. Toymaster

    Toymaster Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 19, 2002
    Another classic Top Ten from the Late Night era, circa 1990:

    Top Ten Surprises in Rocky V

    Don King's nude scene

    9. Eight sequences choreographed by Peter Allen

    8. Rocky killed by Laura Palmer's father

    7. Rocky's new manager Fred MacMurray puts Flubber in Rocky's gloves; Rocky knocks opponent to Mars

    6. Mr. T? Gay as a French horn.

    5. Rocky goes back into the ring and fights a younger, stronger opponent and even though he hasn't had a chance in the world to beat him, Rocky digs down and musters all the courage and heart he can, and--you'll never believe this--wins anyway!

    4. Lovable character Chewbacca dies

    Weatherman Al Roker looks even bigger than last year (I'm sorry, that's one of the surprises in "Live at 5".)

    2. That the referee didn't stop the series at Rocky III

    1. You paid $7.50 to see it
  5. Toymaster

    Toymaster Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 19, 2002
    Seems like I have a trend going now since the last few Top Ten lists have been about other movies, but somehow still relate back to Star Wars. This week's list is no exception. From July 28, 1997:

    Top Ten Surprises in 'Air Force One'

    The President never once drops his pants

    9. Head villian killed by an angry, head-butting Janet Reno

    8. Ear-biting terrorist played by Mike Tyson

    7. At the last second, Harrison Ford is saved by his trusty side-kick, Chewbacca

    Our nation's first female Vice President is played by Richard Simmons

    5. Secret "escape pod" drops President safely at Oxford University

    4. Oddly, the President's in-flight movie is "Air Force One"

    3. President Clinton has brief cameo as "Warren, the ass-grabbing flight attendant"

    2. When held at gunpoint, President blurts out, "Take Hillary instead!"

    1. The terrorists' only demand: Get rid of Newt
  6. Toymaster

    Toymaster Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 19, 2002
    From May 17, 1999:

    Top Ten Other Movies By The People Who Brought You Atomic Train

    "Radioactive Zamboni"

    9. "Volkswagen Jetta That's Low On Wiper Fluid"

    8. "Atomic Monkey"

    7. "Atomic Danza"

    6. "Choking Miami Heat"

    5. "Delayed U.S. Air Flight To Cleveland"

    4. "Drowsy Man Operating Heavy Machinery"

    3. "Over-Hyped Star Wars Movie"

    "Fabio's Roller Coaster"

    1. "Baby Geniuses"

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