Saga LOVE HURTS: Why is Star Wars Romance Always Sad or Tragic?

If Mods think this isn't the topic for ST forum, by all means move it elsewhere since it isn't just a look at ST romance but SW romance in general (PT, OT, spin-offs, animated shows). Regardless of where it ends up, I think it's something that should be brought up cause pattern is clear, plus it's often a big part of other threads.

Star Wars love hurts. It started with Luke discovering that his love interest Leia was his twin sister. Or maybe it started with Leia choosing Han and sister reveal made Luke feel a little better? In any case, Luke was likely sad at least a little bit.

Spoiler

Ever wondered why movie/TV siblings are so damn shippable (Jonsa, Wincest,etc)? It appears that writers and directors can't stage a scene between sibs that does't look like a romance in making. Consider this:

In this Frazetta-like image a dashing hero saves his barely dressed love interest


only to find out she is his twin sister thus ruining this romantic setting (moonlight, bridge)

Han and Leia seemed poised for happy ending and sure enough they got one in ROTJ. But enter ST and it was misery and pain from start to finish. Their son turned to the Dark Side and killed Han. Then Leia died of Force exhaustion which seems to be the Skywalker malady that'd also killed her brother a year ago and will kill her son about an hour or two later.

Spoiler

30 years after


Leia has a bad feeling



about ST

Perhaps it's war that naturally decimates couples. Anakin and Padme, Obi Wan and Satine, Kanan and Hera, Galen and Lyra, Beckett and Val, Jyn and Cassian, Hunky Palpatine and Jodie Comer all got un-coupled by death.

Spoiler

Padme laments


the fate of SW romances

Even when love isn't tragic, it's one-sided and/or without a payoff. It could be between 2 people such as Poe and Zorii and Han and Qi'ra or between multiple people such as Rose and Jannah crushing on Finn who's crushing on Rey.

Spoiler

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY



Finn?



REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY



Finn?



REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY

Finally, the most tragic of them all, Rey and Ben Solo romance. Why do I think it's the most tragic? several reasons:

It's "what could have been" like Jyn and Cassian

It pulls a rug from under the fans because it has Rey die and come back (so they go Phew) and then has Ben die for good. So twice the torture. It's The Walking Dead level of sadism.

It ends the Skywalker family because there's no element of hope (the twins, Jacen Syndulla)

It kills the new type of the Force user (the dyad) which could have been a counter point to Jedi and Sith duality going forward

It's Reverse Anidala which is beautiful but also extra tragic because of it

It introduces Ben Solo only to kill him before he could show full potential. We'll never see his smile and Solo shrug again

Spoiler

The Walking Dead would be proud. Reylo dies twice, first with her



and then with him

So what do you think? Why is SW love deadly? Do you like this trend or would you like to change some fates?

 

Anakin's story was already told, so we knew it would end in tears.
Han and Leia.....well, for the better part of thirty years they had a great marriage. They loved each other dearly. They lived their lives to the full. Things went pear shaped when Leia's career was ruined by the revelation of who her father was, and when their son fell due to Snoke and their own well intentioned but tragic mistakes.
Rey and Ben..... perhaps the saddest story of all. Because their story was cut short purely because of the tedious reactions of internet users, and either the writer/director or movie company wanting to get rid of the Skywalkers and Solos.
Take your pick, but whatever it ended something I loved for its feelgood factor on a depressing nihilistic note. And that's a tragedy

 

What sets ST apart, IMO, is that they didn't want to commit to any romance when you think about it. Han and Leia got a tragic end that wasn't necessary, while two kisses (Finn and Rose and Ben and Rey) didn't end in a commitment. Finn and Rose were dropped like a hot potato, while Rey and Ben were "what could have been". Then we also got a last minute Poe and Zorii aka "everyone should have someone til they don't" so ST pretty much has 3 new romances that went nowhere and that's without counting side crushes and toying with Rey and Poe. It's as if the whole purpose was to show that romance is bad/outdated/un-woke/whatever. As if they felt they should have it but didn't really want it or as if they wanted it but felt pressured not to have it, I can't really decide which was which.

But yes, definitely a nihilistic note. Like I said in OP, at least some had an element of hope. This killed entire lineage.

 

I'm sorry, that's not a romance. It's certainly not a tragic one.

Now, was one destroyed for Kylo? Yes. Han and Leia were shredded for the insanity that is Kylo and his needs and his this and that. Why did Han and Leia have only one child? Why is everything destroyed by him? For what reason?

 

I agree that Han and Leia got it the worst because they were a happy couple. This just shows that it's very hard to be invested in SW cause they undo things decades later. It started with Greedo Shooting First and even though there was a considerable backlash, it seems that Disney didn't learn anything from Fox experience.

 

I just think that ST went overboard. Han and Leia wouldn't be happy if they lived and Ben died but now that they are all dead (plus Luke), it's really overly nihilistic. On top of that, they didn't want to continue with Finn and Rose romance that could have countered all this tragedy with some happiness. same goes for Finn and Jannah, they could have been soulmates that found each other but that was dropped too. Point being, it isn't that they didn't have happier options but they decided to drop them. twice.

 

@anakinfansince1983 said it.

War ruins lives. One way or another.

It’s going to happen.
It’s inescapable until peace time.


Look at Game of Thrones.


Isn’t Gilly and Sam the only romance that survived.

 

makes sense.

@cerealbox War ruins lives but GOT became more about shock for the sake of shock in later seasons culminating with S8 where character arcs were thrown out of the window in order to surprise the audience. Oh well at least Sansa and Tyrion have a chance.

 

I would argue that love and romance in general are tragic, in real life as well as movies (except for comedies) - it's not really specific to SW. I could name a thousand movies where romance ends in tragedy. Just to give a few examples: Forrest Gump, Romeo & Juliet, Bridges of Madison County, The Lover, U-Turn, Aliens (the tragedy coming in the sequel), Indochine, Heaven & Earth, Dracula, Brazil, Titanic, Terminator, Cast Away, The Punisher, It's My Party, Se7en, Pearl Harbor,The Godfather, An Officer and Gentleman (not Richard Gere's character but his best friend), Gladiator, Conan the Barbarian (1981), Oblivion, American Beauty.... I could go on and on.
I'd say it's simply part of the human condition.

 

Han and Leia actually had a happy ending in ROTJ.

 

I feel that the Skywalker saga is essentially about adolescence, which is to say the traumatic discovery that everything has a cost, that the storybook romance which lasts forever doesn’t really exist, and that in the end, if real romance is to be found, it’s in the present moment, and not some ideal future. The journey to accepting the idea that romance is fleeting.

 

That's very true. The deal with SW is that it's a big series where every romance ends up badly (including originally happy Han and Leia) so one starts noticing that the brand favors such romances. In examples above, we have individual movies that are not a part of a series. MCU, for example, mixes it up.

@Darth_Articulate That's really well said and, daresay, articulate!

 

I don't see Han & Leia's as being tragic so much as typical for a romance that begins in the midst of a conflict. Their relationship was doomed from the start. These are two strong willed people who had an instant spark of attraction to each other in ANH. Their continued adventures together in close proximity throughout the broader conflict brought them closer and closer together to the point it manifested as feelings in ESB, and into love in ROTJ, and eventually marriage.

Once the conflict was over, this big thing that brought them together was suddenly gone. It creates a void, and forces them to find a new common ground. And in most cases of this situation, they find they have nothing in common, and while they may still love each other, they find those feelings are fleeting and not as real as they once believed. As a result, they try to find a new common ground, or go back to their comfort zones, as evidenced by Leia going back to the military complex, and Han going back to smuggling.

This is generally where they find their true happiness with each other because it takes them back to when things were at their best between them, even if they know being together will never work.

I do agree with @anakinfansince1983 that not every romance has to have a level of toxicity or constant conflict to be a compelling story. Hera and Kanan is a good example, even though we got very little time in seeing their relationship. This is about the only thing Rebels did right. They showed how much they truly loved each other in how they interacted with each other, as opposed to heavy handed dialogue. Simple looks at each other. A caring arm around on another, or a simple grasp of their hands. Conveyed so much more than any other romance in Star Wars. And while yes, their relationship ended because of war, I wouldn't say it was ruined due to war. If anything it made their relationship better. Having a quasi-family gave them a level of completeness in being together and I feel made them happier. Knowing they were both fighting for what was right, and getting to do it together, made their bond that much stronger.

 

This discussion reminds me of John 12:25


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Not every relationship ends and not every middle age person grows up to be bitter and cynical.

 

It's absolutely possible for two strong willed people to have a good relationship. But in their particular situation, I feel they were doomed from the start. Once the conflict that brought them together was over, and no longer a part of their relationship, as they search for a new common ground, their both being strong willed tends to get in the way. Neither one wants to be the one to give in as it goes against their personalities, and the end result is a crumbled relationship. Maybe I'm oversimplifying this, but hopefully my point is evident.

 

I think because it reminds me of the fleeting nature of romance, which is kind of like a saturated version of all that is pleasant to a human


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