Luke and Vader on the Shuttle in ROTJ...

I made a thread like this in the Community Forum, but it was locked; Strilo told me to post it here. Here is the exact version of my message.





I've wondered for a while now what (if anything) occured on the Imperial shuttle after Luke surrendered. Is it just me, or did anyone else wonder this too?

I'm just curious if anything happened.

Your answers can be funny, serious, or in-between.

 

Well here's my post to that thread from yesterday.


Luke, "so, are you, like, prince of the empire or something?"

Vader, "well, son, I..........don't really know actually....never really occured to me to ask. You know, now that I think of it I'm really nothing more than an errand boy, 'Vader, go after that Tantive IV,' or 'Go to Hoth, lots of people to kill there,' or 'Vader, keep an eye on this Death Star, try not to loose it again.' Doesn't even pay me very....(trails off to next scene)

 

In the most boring case, Vader was in the cockpit and Luke in the passenger/prisoner compartment.

It somehow seems to me that they didn't talk at all until they arrived at the Emperor.

Maybe all has been said below the landing platform (I love that conversation!)

 

Maybe they played cards poker's a great game

 

Luke was probably forming an escape plan in his head.

 

Luke: So.
(pause)
Vader: Yep.
(pause)
Luke: Kind of humid today.
Vader: Yeah. Sort of dry, too.
Luke: What?
Vader: It has kind of a humid dryness.
(long pause)
Both together: Do you-
(both laugh)
Vader: You first.
Luke: No, you go.
Vader: I just was going to say that I love cheese. I mean, everybody does, I guess. But it goes much deeper than that for me.
Luke: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Vader: Really? See I knew we had that bond when we met before. I don't know why we fight.
Luke: Neither do I.
Vader: You know, sometime you ought to come to Coruscant with me. I've got a pool, a big rec room, and-
Shuttle Pilot: Lord Vader, we're arriving at the Death Star.
Vader: Well, I guess it's back at it.
Luke: Yep. I guess so.

 

^^It's like seinfeld for the Star Wars Galaxy! It's a trip about nothing.

 

I always pictured Luke just leaving Vader on the boarding ramp part of the shuttle,becuase hey,even though it's his father,he just wants to get out of there!

 

*Shuttle takes off*

Luke: So, why do you have to obey your master without question all the time? Don't you get sick of it?

Vader: Gee...
(thinks for a bit)
Vader: Cause he designed this awsome suit!

Luke: You follow him because he designed your clothes??!!

Vader: Ummm......yes.

Luke: does your suit get FM? Did it come with a slick speeder? Does it have a built in comlink? Air Conditioning?

Vader (sounding like Jake Lloyd): Wizards! I never thought of that. Gee Wilikers, your right!

Luke: So your "great master" trapped you in a black suit without giving thought to comfort or style.

Vader: You're right! I'm going to throw that prune faced poodoo-head down an elevator shaft!

Luke: I'll help you there!

Vader: Now hold on, son! We need to act like we are still on opposite sides, other wise the Emperor will suspect. So here's the plan: We face the Emperor. I act like I still want to turn you to the Dark side. We will fight, we each act like we want to kill eachother but really we're doing it to satisfy the Emperor, and the audience. In the end you cut of my right hand. Don't worry, It's robotic, I won't feel a thing.
Then you refuse to finish me off. The Emperor will electrocute you, It doesn't hurt that much, then I'll step in and kill the Emperor!

Luke: Great Idea!

Vader: Oh, sorry bout your hand, son.

Luke: Quite all right, It was bound to happen any way. Runs in the family, you know?

*Shuttle arrives at the Death Star*

 

Interesting!

I bet they talked about Ben Kenobi and his training of Luke. Maybe Luke even mentioned that Yoda was still around?

 

-Middle of the flight, Luke's head suddenly cocks to the side, he's thinking.-

Luke: Hey Dad...

Vader: Yeah?

Luke: You never got me presents.

Vader: What?

Luke: Yeah... You owe me 21 years of Birthday and Life Day gifts!

Vader: I never knew you were alive!

Luke: Oh please, you're so powerful you didn't sense that your old blood was alive, on your old home planet?!

Vader: You were told I was dead!

Luke: So bloody what?! You weren't! Damn it, You come into my life wanting to be my father, and you won't even give me a little compensation for being gone all my life?! You're a Bum!

Vader:I- Well... Fine! What do you want?!

Luke: You could... Take off these cuffs!

Vader: Okay- Heeeeeeey! I'm notng for that... Again.

 

[Luke and Vader are walking up landing ramp to shuttle]

Stormtrooper 1: What do want us to do with the prisoner?

Vader: Leave him to me!

[exit Stormtrooper 1 and 2]

Vader: Follow me, son.

[Vader leads Luke into a dimly lit standard passengers compartment]

Vader: Sit down.

Luke:[sitting down] You can try all you want but I'll never turn to the darkside.

Vader: Oh would you please stop with that crap! I know what you're doing. Don't think I don't know.

Luke: If I knew-

Vader: Shut up, hand me the remote.

Lukeconfused* The what?

Vader Never mind! *uses the Force to get remote* Oh, this is my favorite soap.

Luke: You watch-

Vader: Don't talk, Kornan the stormtrooper is on leave and is having an affair with a Twi'lek dancer who used to be his nanny. His wife Zenthra just found out and is seeing the Twi'lek who also happened to be her maid of honor.

Luke: Really, I have to say I'm quite surprised that you would watch-

Vader: For the last time shut up! Oh my God she has a blaster in her purse. *picks up comlink and calls pilot* Denor, Zenthra found out about the affair, quick, turn it on.

Denor the pilot: But sir we're almost there!

Vader: Dammit, the Emperor can wait, do laps around the Death Star.

Two Hours Later.

Luke: *crying* I hope that Kornan burns in hell, he is such a nerf herder.

Vader: *handing Luke a tissue* I know, it's so hard to find love and he just throws it away like it's nothing.

Luke: Dad I know we're supposed to be fighting but I feel so emotional. I love you.

Vader: I love you too!

Palpatineappears suddenly on a holo display and is crying* Lord Vader can you believe Kornan, he abandoned her for that slut and when she shot him he testified against her in court? What the? What is he doing here? I thought you'd have him locked up.

Vader: I'm sorry we just wanted to bond a little.

Palpatine: Who am I kidding? I'm so sorry for all this crap I've caused. I mean, I have ruined so many lives. I even sent away my son Darth Maul to his death because he had a skin condition and a scalp problem that resulted in horns and I knew Obi-Wan would kill him. I was planning I having Vader kill me by throwing me into a shaft because I can't live with myself.

Vader: And I son was planning on redeeming myself so I don't go to hell.

Luke: I see, well let's get it done. Let's get to the Death Star and end this after the last half of this episode.

 

Vader: So, uh, Han Solo came out of Carbon Freeze. Is he okay? You know I had to freeze him to test out carbon chamber.

Luke: Oh? Yeah, sure. I guess so.

Vader: And Senator Organa seemed to really hate that. Is she his girlfriend, or something?

Luke: I guess I'll find out.

Vader: Very well.

 

With an abrupt jolt, the Imperial shuttle switched over from its repulsors and kicked in the ion drive, rising for the planets terminator. Secured in the rear troop deck, the self proclaimed Jedi Knight; Luke Skywalker, willed his anxiety to fade into obscurity, like the rapidly shrinking flora of the Endor moon.

"Obi-Wan's serenity will not serve you here my son." A deep mechanical voice broke into Luke's meditations.

Slowly, the young man shifted his gaze from the bulkhead port to regard the ebony armored warrior that stood just meters away from him. A mixture of sadness and understanding passed through Luke's being. And for perhaps the last time, Luke reached out to the man he now accepted as his father. "Its not too late." Luke said with a calm that brought ripples of shame to the towering warrior. "We can leave here together; Instruct your pilots to change course. Father, I know of a place that can-"

"The shuttle is an extension of my masters will." The other said between mechanical breaths. "Our course is locked." He added with a touch of irony. "There is no escape."

Luke lowered his eyes in defeat, resting them upon his wrists secured by the binders that restrained him.

"Lord Vader;" A filtered voice echoed through the troop deck. "We've cleared the terminator."

Not taking his gaze off Luke, the intended recipient made a slight gesture through the force, keying for the nearby intercom. "Proceed for the North quadrant, and arrange for an escort upon our arrival."

The pilot acknowledged, and cleared the speaker, leaving Vader and Luke alone; Father and Son...

Unable to stare at the boy any longer, Vader turned his attention to the confiscated lightsaber he held tightly in his grasp. Pride for his sons handywork danced with shame that the replacement had deeper meaning then he first realized. Vader's thoughts drifted to the past-

"Ben would have approved of the hilt." Luke said, apparently following Vader into the past.

With a snap-hiss, Vader roughly ignited the lightsaber. "And his master, the blade." Vader said conversationally.

Through the force, the reflections of father and son were one, a mosaic of images passed through them, laced with reflection and irony. Vader knew of his sons recent actions on Tattooine; The rescue of his friends, the death of the Hutt and his prize bounty hunter. The hallmark of this knowledge, visible through the minds eye of his son atuned to the force. Highlighted with his newly fashioned lightsaber of brilliant green. More images followed, abrupt flashes through time, shared by both men; Master Yoda sporting a blade of brilliant green. The fateful day Luke first challenged the Dark Lord with his own former blade of blue, followed by brief glimpses into a farther past-

"That time no longer clouds my judgement." Vader said aloud.

Luke pressed onward, seizing the images. "Your thoughts betray you." He said with a new strength in his voice. "Your disturbed that I brandish a weapon touched by your former masters."

Vader fought the touch of his sons mind. Further images passed across like words on a page, Vader's rage at his sons transition from one master to another, from blue to green, from apprentice to master-

Abruplty, Vader extinguished the green blade and moved towards the starboard viewport. Outside, the ebony blanket of space was slowly absconded by a metallic sphere.

And the voice of doom returned via the intercom;

"We're starting our approach..."

 

That was very good. Which is gonna make my following lame attempt look even worse

Vader: It's five miles to my Star Destroyer, we've got a fully working hyperdrive,
half a pack of jawa juice, it's early in the morning, and we're both wearing black.
Luke: Hit it.

 

On the way to the throne room, they encounter a few persons.
Luke: "Who are the guys with the hats?"




In orbit, they see the Executor.
Luke: "Wow, that thing is huge! How long is it?"

(Vader: "12,8 kilometers. No inch more, none less!" )

 

With an uncharacteristic wobble, the Lamba-class shuttle careened away from the seeminginly normal by comparison planetoid below. Within the shuttles interior, the Dark Lord of the Sith strained to keep his armored mass stable amid the constant sways port and starboard. The Dark Lord regarded the cause of this ships instability. Not since his time spent in the backseat of a speeder with he dearly departed wife, had he been so violently rocked about. What was wrong with the boy? "My son." Vader said all but pleadingly. "If you continue to behave in this manner I will be forced to restain you further."

The other, continued to sway back in forth against the port and starboard sides of the interior bulkheads, giggling to himself, while throwing in periodic impersoniations of the Sith Lords breathing. "Restrained?!" The young man known as Luke Skywalker said sarcastically. "What do you call these?" He asked, raising his binders for emphasis. "Costume jewelry?!"

Vader exhaled slowly, weighing a retort. Instead, Vader cut to the chase. "Soon you will be aboard the battle station my son. And then we can discuss-"

Luke started spinning around in circles, throwing his body against the weapons locker, leaving small dents in his wake. "No!" Luke yelled challengingly. "This is my battle station!" He stated, the wide eyed insanity accessorizing nicely with his unkempt hair. "This will be my polyform fortress! Because nobody tricks the Trickster! Nobody!" A series of emotionally unstable guffaws, titters and snickers followed suit.

Vader craned his neck to the side in dark reflection, and keyed for the bridge compartment. "Pilot." Vader said with a forced calm. "Upon our arrival, you are to send for a fully qualified med-tec and counsellor for Skywalker."

A brief surge of static boomed through the intercom, followed by what sounded suspiciousily like a high pitched giggle. "We'll see Mister Dee" Said a young womans voice.

Vader seemed taken aback. Mister 'Dee?'

Without further deliberation, the bridge doors swung ponderousily open revealing a lithe slip of a girl, garbed in a red/black jump suit, adorned with diamond patterns. Vader reacted instantly, swinging around to face the obvious intruder on his shuttle. With a single fluid motion, the Dark Lord drew his saber-

But alas, the wee lass was a bit of a gymnist, and beat the Sith Lord to the draw. Already in hand, the out of place child beared down on Vader with an oversized bowcaster armed with a somewhat out scaled boxing glove. The explosive bolt lanced across the compartment, catching Vader square in the life support box, and the giant fell with an unflatteringly thud.

Behind the fallen dark Jedi, the somewhat smaller man arched a brow in partial confusion. "Eh?" Was all he could say.

"Cheer up 'puddin" The young woman said with a large grin. "I've come to rescue you! And without Ben Kenobi!"

Skywalker smiled. "Harley." He said with a tone of endearment; "To the escape pod!"

The young woman known as Harley Quinn, clicked her heels smartly together a'la and Imperial officer and replied in a mock british accent; "Right away Mr. Jay!"

Skywalker's insane giggles echoed through the cabin as they mock-tip-toed past Darth Vader. "And don't forget, may the farce be with you!" Skywalker crowed as he leapt into the escape pod.

Harley turned to blow a kiss to the fallen Sith. "Later Vader..."

 

Oh, that was beautiful.
"HarrrrrrrrrrrLEEEEEEYYYYYY!"

 

...the shuttle approaches the Death Star, Vader sits in the passenger compartment, his son is beside him. LUKE: (craning his neck to look forward, out the shuttle's cockpit) "ANOTHER Death Star?", "Yeah...that first one worked out real good for you guys, afterall" (snickers) VADER: (stares straight ahead). The Death Star looms larger in the cockpit window. LUKE: (pointing) "Hey, isn't that an exhaust port trench down there?" VADER: (drumming fingers on his armrest, starts to fidget in his seat uncomfortably) LUKE: (squints one eye closed, and covers the Death Star up with his thumb-starts making explosion sounds with his mouth)"Powwccch! Poofffmmm!" (turns and smiles broadly at Vader) VADER: (shouting towards the cockpit) "Pilot, can't this thing go any faster?" LUKE: "So Dad (slaps his hand on Vader's knee), what's with this whole leather fetish thing?" VADER: "Pilot...PILOT!!!"

 

Vader: (Pointing at shuttle cockpit) Not Bad Eh ?
Luke : Ok I suppose, I was in one of these 2 days ago
Vader: Dont tell me... it was you on that Shuttle that flew past my star destroyer?
Luke : Sure was.
Vader: I thought it was you, the Emperor didn't believe me, but I KNEW it was. Why didnt you say hello? You NEVER call ? You only come to see me when you want to kill me or my boss......
Luke : Dont start this again dad. I love you but I've been really busy lately.
Vader: How's the hand ?
Luke : Not funny dad. Not funny.

 

Vader: So, any special women in your life at the moment son?
Luke: (embarassed) Dad, I don't want to talk about it.
Vader: Oh come on son, we have a lot of catching up to do...you weren't just created by the force you know.
Luke: I know that...I've just been busy lately.
Vader: What about that Leia? She's a cute one
Luke: Dad, she's not my type...
Vader: You could do a lot worse than her you know.
Luke: Dad, really, we don't want to go there.

 

Anyone not reading this thread is missing out. Hilarious!!
I love this:
...the shuttle approaches the Death Star, Vader sits in the passenger compartment, his son is beside him. LUKE: (craning his neck to look forward, out the shuttle's cockpit) "ANOTHER Death Star?", "Yeah...that first one worked out real good for you guys, afterall" (snickers) VADER: (stares straight ahead). The Death Star looms larger in the cockpit window. LUKE: (pointing) "Hey, isn't that an exhaust port trench down there?" VADER: (drumming fingers on his armrest, starts to fidget in his seat uncomfortably) LUKE: (squints one eye closed, and covers the Death Star up with his thumb-starts making explosion sounds with his mouth)"Powwccch! Poofffmmm!" (turns and smiles broadly at Vader) VADER: (shouting towards the cockpit) "Pilot, can't this thing go any faster?" LUKE: "So Dad (slaps his hand on Vader's knee), what's with this whole leather fetish thing?" VADER: "Pilot...PILOT!!!"

 

This thread's great!
I've gotta say I'm really impressed by the serious fanfics too

Can't think of any witty lines at the mo, so I'll hold off for now...

{||||| ?||} ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~