**Part II: AOTC Awards Thread! ALL NEW Categories - See Who Won!**

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O.M.G!

SSSPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMM!

 

That makez 'im Spamera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
OH PLEEEEZZ B TRU!




Edit: Oh, and Adam -- we should combine forces and become the ultimate humor machine.

 

Jedi_Lite, your offer sounds tempting. I accept. If we can figure out the logistics of it.

In the meantime, if nobody minds me stealing your idea...

RANDAL: I don't understand these awards.
BRODIE: Well, this is what happens when you're raised on television. We're completely products of pop culture references. We can't even present an award without taking a sly reference back to our roots.
RANDAL: I know. I'm expecting Jedi_Lite to make the thread text go from black-and-white to color in some playful and unveiled reference to "The Wizard of Oz".
JAY: Man, I never understood that movie. 'Course, I can't watch it with tubby here no more 'cause he's got this big crush on Judy Garland or somethin', every time she opens her big fat mouth he starts cryin' like a little girl with a skinned knee and crap.
RANDAL: That's not the point. We're talking about people being dependent on pop culture references to communicate.
JAY: I don't know about that. But I'll make you an offer you can't refuse--snoogans. You want "Wizard of Oz", I can sell you some crap and you'll be seein' flying monkeys all over the joint.

(It's REEEEEALLY hard to write these characters without being able to curse. Please mentally substitute in all the curses you feel should go there.)

HOLDEN: So what do you think is going to win Best Shot?
BANKY: Man, they never reward what deserves to win. I'm guessing it's gonna be an explosion or something.
HOLDEN: And your favorite shot would be?
BANKY: Fireplace. Natalie Portman's cleavage. 'nuff said.
HOLDEN: You think these people will forgive the fireplace scene just for some gratuitous cleavage?
BANKY: They saw "The Phantom Menace", claimed to hate it and saw it again. These are the people who bootleg "The Holiday Special", for crying out loud. Though I've got a theory that they just have this innate unspoken desire for Wookiee love.
HOLDEN: You make me sick.



(Must... curse... and reference... parts of the body... frickin' JC rules!)


More View Askew later (possibly). And I may just need to create fictional representations of people in the thread this time...



Rick McCallum loves you!

 

Hahah a JL and adam combination, now this should get funny

 

"Wookiee Love!"

Didn't Donny Osmond sing a song about that?

[image=http://landofos.com/photos/dolh.jpg]
*singing* "And they call it Wookiee love!!!"

 

Ok I am confused because I didnt know what that last award was all about, but man GH Thats hilarious!! I hate Luke and Laura ....

 

Yay MST3K!

Well, they kind of did try to keep the host segments in line w/ the movie in the Sci Fi episodes. One thing missing from the Mike era shows, though, are the host segments where Joel & the 'bots discuss some element of the movie, and usually wind up going way off topic. They always somehow made those segments funny, even though they aren't really doing anything. But, Mike's host segments still ended up funny most of the time. I just recently watched my tape of the Season 9 classic, "The Final Sacrifice". "So . . . Rowsdower. Is that a . . . stupid name?" And, of course, the Canada song. Great stuff.

Oh, wait. This is a Star Wars board. Yay AOTC!

Can't wait for the award, JL!

DR

 

And now, more View Askew thread-hijacking to entertain you until the awards resume. (Please resume quickly, awards! We love you!)

Anyway... apologies if anyone dislikes their fictional representation, let me know if you don't like being mocked. And apologies to those who wanted to be mocked but didn't.

And please imagine more curses in everyone's dialogue. Silly JC rules won't let me write these characters true to life.

SUMBRODIE-WAN_KENOBI: I'm telling you, there's no way that anything outside the Yoda duel has a chance for Best Shot. Yoda simply appeals to people's fantasies. They like to think that even when they're old and short and wrinkly they can still ignite their lightsabers and jump around.
P.KOON. QUINT: That can't be right.
SUMBRODIE-WAN_KENOBI: Read the subtext, numb ---s! Yoda is clearly a representation of male feelings of inadequacy with regard to their performance in the greatest of all Jedi arts!
HOOPER MONKEYNUGGET: This is coming from a guy who won't believe my theories on "Archie".
DANTE ANBILLIES: Whatever the case, you guys aren't finding out the answer anyway. Someone made off with the award envelope. *sigh* It was my fault. I let Randal watch it.
RANDAL_CLONE: I made sure that the envelope was safe when I was in the bathroom. I hid it in the video store inside a copy of "The Phantom Menace". I didn't think anyone would rent it.
JOLON MCNEIL: Yo, Affleck was the bomb in "Phantom"!
DANTE ANBILLIES (in despair): I'm not even supposed to be here today! Now how are we going to find that awards envelope?
BANKY SNOOTLES: Steal a monkey named Suzaran?
JEDI_LITEATRON (appearing): Behold the Jedi_Liteatron, the voice of the one true Gonk!
(Everyone bows down)
JEDI_LITEATRON: And it is written, the envelope was stolen by the two stoners outside the Quick Stop thread!

(Meanwhile, outside the Quick Stop thread...)

JAY-LENKENOBI: I tell you, Silent Steve, as soon as we get home and pop this DVD in, we're going right to the Podrace. I'm telling you, man, there's a guy in the crowd rockin' the ganj like it ain't no thang. You ever wonder what they deal up in space, man? And how much primo-quality weed went up with Alderaan? ----, man, if we was dealin' out in the Star Wars galaxy, we'd have the best stuff out there. ----in' Samuel L. Jackson would come buy from us and pay with his Bad Mother ------ wallet, know what I'm sayin'? Noitch.
(SILENT STEVE puffs a cigarette.)
DANTE ANBILLIES: Jay-Len, Silent Steve. We need the awards envelope so we can carry on the show!
RANDAL_CLONE: And so I can settle a bet that the shot that wins is one with Aayla Secura. The people love alien chicks. My cousin Walter once--
JAY-LENKENOBI: Aayla Secura. I dig that chick, man. Thin still works for me. This tubby ----- over here, though? Likes his own kind. I'm sayin' that--
(SILENT STEVE puffs the cigarette again and gives a reaction.)
JOLON MCNEIL: So can we have the awards envelope, please?
JAY-LENKENOBI: ----, man, sure. I don't think much of awards shows, man. They always give ---- to ----s that don't deserve it, like that mother----er Spielberg.
SILENT STEVE (losing control): Don't trash Spielberg!
(Everyone stares at SILENT STEVE. But he says no more. He takes another puff on his cigarette and looks out to the horizon.)





Rick McCallum loves you!

 

That was the greatest thing ever!!

 

I never saw MST, so the jokes are going over my head. Since I now don't have cable, I don't know those guys. But when I did, I enjoyed watching The MAN SHOW. Those two guys as presenters, might be a bit over the top for these boards.

Keep up the good work.

 

btw, mad props to Jedi_Lite for referencing Salacious Crumb in his last "major" post.





Rick McCallum loves you!

 

*laughed so hard that he stubbed his toe on his chair and fell into a pile of dirty laundry*

True story. Loved the name parodies... especially the monkey named Suzuran and Jay-Len!

 

Thanks, Jedi_Lite. Hope you don't mind me filling in while you're not actually up there doing awards, but I get bored sometimes.

Name parodies were hard to do sometimes. I have a feeling I'm gonna have to switch people around and disassociate JC posters from their characters in order to include everyone who wants to be mocked.

Besides, it's not fair to let some people be Jay or the Jason Lee characters and make other people be frickin' T.S.





Rick McCallum and Scott Mosier love you!

 

Don't mind it at all, Adam. In fact, if a Part III of the AOTC Awards is going to become a reality, I'll need a co-organizer to split the presentation duties.











*hint, hint*





Edit: Better T.S. than Hooper! Poor monkeynugget.

 

Oh, and here's a quick explanation of what Mystery Science Theater is about, for those who don't know (if you read the MST3K theme song in my last award post, it will also make more sense):

Joel was a janitor at the Gizmonic Institute, where a mad scientist named Dr. Forrester and his sidekick Frank work. They didn't like Joel, so they blasted him into outer space in a satellite equipped with a movie theater. In an attempt to drive Joel insane, Dr. F broadcasts an endless number of horrible sci-fi, cult, horror, and action movies (with the occasional detective flick or teen beach movie thrown in for good measure). He also has to watch "shorts", which include a variety of elementary school hygiene films from the 50s as well as old episodes of General Hospital. In order to maintain his sanity, Joel built several robots:

-Tom Servo (a quirky gumball machine mostly, makes all the "intelligent" or "Dennis Miller-type" jokes and references)
-Crow (the gold robot with a beak - he's more the off-the-wall comic type)
-Gypsy (sits around in the Satellite of Love and cleans, repairs, etc.)
-Cambot (records everything that happens, doesn't do much else!)

Every time Joel has to go in to watch a movie, he brings Tom Servo and Crow into the theater with him and they thoroughly make fun of the movie from start to finish. The result is one hilarious show. Too bad it got cancelled. Now I hope this presentation will make a little more sense to you, as Dr. F is now about to broadcast the nominees for Best Shot into Joel's movie theater, and he and the robots will tear them limb from limb and announce the winner. I should have the second part of it up by tonight.

 

Dude! I was Brodie! How friggin cool is that! Simply the best View Askew character EVER!

That was a blast, Adam, and we all know Archie isn't gay, I don't care what Hooper says!

Anyways, I snuck backstage again and it went down something like this.

******

There I was, looking on two of the most powerful Jedi Masters ever. That's right, Mace Windu and Ki-Adi Mundi. They looked deep in conversation and I wondered what they could be talking about. Were they in a deep discussion about the coming Clone Wars and it's impact on the Republic? Or would they shed some light about that mysterious prophesy of the One Who Will Bring Balance To The Force...

MACE: I got one right here, Ki-Adi. Listen up and I'll show you how it's done. Yo Mama is so ugly, a Geonosian had to tie a nerf stake around her neck for the Reek to eat her in the Arena!

KI-ADI: Oooh, that was indeed cold, my friend. I think I have one. (clears throat) Your mother is so fat that she must wear three different chonometers to keep up with the time on every planet she inhabits at once.

MACE: That was better, but it was still a little too formal. Check this. Yo mama is so mutha******* fat, she went to Naboo and a Shaak tried to mate with her.

KI-ADI: Ouch. That was cold.

MACE: Yo mama so OLD, she was in Master Yoda's yearbook!

At that point, two former award presenters, JAY AND SILENT BOB come up.

JAY: Holy ****, Silent Bob, they're playing the ********** Yo Mama game. Dudes, I gotcha beat. Watch out: Yo Mama's so fat, even Silent Bob has trouble....

MACE: No one asked you for your preverted involvement. Get the **** outta here, burnboy!

JAY: Pshah! We don't need youse guys for fun. Nootch. Me and Lunchbox gotta go talk to that Death Stick kid and see about a trade anyways.

Silent Bob nods his head in agreement.

Jay and SB start walking off.

JAY: Jedi Masters. What a ******** crock. More like Jedi MasterB....

MACE: Shut the **** up, hophead and get out!

JAY: Geez, we're gone, allright. Yo, laterz!

MACE: I don't think so.

So off go Jay and Silent Bob.

KI-ADI: What strange creatures. Ah! I have another one. Your mother is so fat, she went to the transport station and people tried to board her.

MACE: That's a little better. You could use some more work, though.

Up comes Yoda.

YODA: Ah, an end to this discussion I must bring.

MACE: What are you talking about?

YODA: Why I am the Master, I will show you. So fat, yo mama is, when backs up on Coruscant, she does, all the way on Tatooine, the beeping is heard. Hmmm? Yes. Mmmm Hmmmm Hmmmm Hmmmm!!!

Mace considers for all of two seconds before reaching a verdict.

MACE: WEAK!

At that point, I thought it was time to leave these Jedi Masters alone...

 

Adam, lol. I'm honored that I was parodied. I think. ?
Sumbudy_Wan_Kenobi, ROTFLMAO with the 'Yo mama is...' game.
Keep 'em coming, but J_L, where's an award?

 

Sumbudy - that was great, dude. Love the Master Yoda's yearbook one and that Jay/Silent Bob were going to swap drugs with Elan Sleazebaggano!

Keep poking around backstage. I'll make sure to get you a VIP pass so no one tries to boot you out of there.

---

Jedi_Suzuran - an award? Soon.


EDIT: Very, very, very soon.

 

When we last left Joel and the gang on the Satellite of Love, they were about to be fed the nominees for BEST SHOT:

(Red lights flash and buzzers sound in the Satellite of Love. The corridor into the theater begins to open, door by door.)

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TOM SERVO: Ah, the humanity!
CROW: Whoa!!
JOEL: Into the theater we go, guys!

JOEL: Says here on these notecards that the first nominee is a shot in which Anakin and Padme are wheeled into the execution arena. Our view is from behind them. They kiss, then look up proceed to look up at the vast arena surrounding them, which is full of thousands of Geonosians buzzing about in anticipation.

"The camera zooms out to show the crowd and the music swells up.... Gives me chills." --Cellz
"I hope this counts, because it IS technically one shot. Even though the camera eventually pans around to look at the whole arena, and the music really makes that shot, I think it should count." --DarthRaptor
"Anyone else notice they always embrace in shadows or silhoutte?" --Falls_the_Shadow

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CROW: "Anakin, don't move. My chin is caught on your Jedi robes."
JOEL: This would be like going to Yankees game to watch Derek Jeter get eaten by the opponent's mascot.
CROW: Basically, it would be a lot of fun.
TOM: Gee, I hope Maximus goes easy on them.
JOEL: Wait a minute -- did she just say "truly, madly, deeply?" If Savage Garden had lawyers, they would be phoning the Skywalker Ranch.

JOEL: Read the next nominee, Crow.
CROW: Um... all it says is "Overlooking the Clone Army on Coruscant."

"Reminds me of a very similar shot at the end of Qui-Gon's funeral. Lots of foreshadowing." --Shadow 2488
"Chilling, especially considering the Imperial March playing over the top." --YODAS_HALF_BROTHER

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CROW: "And now we will test the power of this full-scale Domino Rally playset!"
JOEL: Man, who invited the Rodian?
TOM: Life as a Gran was rough for young Billy. He was forced to stand in the back of the balcony while the others played with the new clone army they had just gotten for Christmas.
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CROW: On a good day, Mas Amedda was able to receive HBO transmissions absolutely free of charge.

JOEL: Our third nominee is Yoda Force-reaching for his lightsaber.

"Nuff said." --Yoda_in_gold_bikini
"We Finally get to see him in action." --evanchester

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JOEL: I'm really disappointed here that he doesn't spit tobacco and boast: "Fastest Force-Draw this side of Coruscant I am!"
CROW: Major Episode III spoilers contained in the caption there!
JOEL: Crow, that's all written in German...
CROW: Oh yeah. Too bad.

JOEL: Next, it is my great pleasure to bring you our fourth nominee: Anakin riding his swoop in the dual sunset.
CROW: Is it really that great a pleasure?
JOEL: I'm just reading straight from the cards, Crow.
CROW: Just checking.
TOM: Gee, no wonder your performance was so stilted.
JOEL: *AHEM* Anakin riding his swoop in the dual sunset.

[image=http://64.227.26.45/Grilled-Sarlacc/s/i/aotc90.jpg]
CROW: He looks exactly like Darth Vader with helmet hair here.
JOEL: If he hates sand so much, why do you suppose he stopped to build that sandcastle?
TOM: This could very well be a commercial for an SPF 300 sunscreen.
JOEL: Gee, Tom, do you suppose the Council allows Jedi to do product endorsements?
TOM: Sure, for a small price: Your first-born child.

JOEL: Our fifth and final nominee is Anakin's morning meditation on the balcony of the retreat. Another mystifying moment. And another rear-shot.

"Reminded me of Vader on the Star Destroyer bridge." --xArchangelx
"It was a beautiful, yet ominous shot." --TenderHeart

[image=http://www.episode-x.

 

Yay, thanks J_L.
Aw, I still haven't been quoted.
Oh well, my comments probably suck anyways.
More, more, I say!

 

But...I like...Armageddon....

 

Hahah keep em comin JL

 

Well.....that was all.....interesting....

I didn't understand ANY of that since I've never even heard of that show....but once I read the explanation it became a little bit clearer. But the one thing that I loved the most was...GH! I can't believe that guy gets old General Hospitals! "How do you get so lucky?" (I hate Kitster)

Thanks for including me in that parody AdamBertocci! That was fun!

I know who should be the next presenters!! It should be Stanley and Waldorf from the Muppet Show!!!!

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(I know that's not them, I just couldn't find a pic of them!)

BYE!

ps. J_L! WOOO HOO!!! You got your old ICON back! WOOOOO!!!!

 

I can't believe that in this, the age of the Internet and cable TV and DVD, that people don't know what MST3K is. But you people all know what South Park is, right?

*shakes head in disappointment*