Amph Preview of Coming Attractions: 21 Jump Street

I lol'd. Really. I did.

 

The Disappearance of Alice Creed (2009)

81 % Tomatometer

Reviews Counted:36

Fresh:29

Rotten:7

Average Rating:6.7/10

Runtime: 1 hr. 40 min.

Genre: Mystery & Suspense

Theatrical Release: Aug 6, 2010 Wide

Synopsis: "On a suburban street, two masked men seize a young woman. They bind and gag her and take her to an abandoned, soundproofed apartment. She is Alice Creed, daughter of a millionaire. Her kidnappers, the coldly efficient Vic and his younger accomplice Danny, have worked out a meticulous plan. But Alice is not going to play the perfect victim ? she?s not giving in without a fight. In a tense power-play of greed, duplicity and survival we discover that sometimes disappearances can be deceptive?"

Starring: Gemma Arterton, Martin Compston, Eddie Marsan

Director: J Blakeson

Screenwriter: J Blakeson
Producer:
Distributor: Anchor Bay Entertainment

Poster: Dull

Trailer: Not seen it

Pro: low budget means no super heroes, CGI, or 3D

Con: low budget means no super heroes, CGI, or 3D

Verdict: TV

 

The Expendables (2010)

50 % Tomatometer

Reviews Counted:20

Fresh:10

Rotten:10

Average Rating:4.8/10

Runtime: 1 hr. 43 min.

Genre: Action & Adventure, Mystery & Suspense

Theatrical Release: Aug 13, 2010 Wide

Synopsis: "THE EXPENDABLES is a hard-hitting action/thriller about a group of mercenaries hired to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator. Written, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone, THE EXPENDABLES brings together a dynamic cast including Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Terry Crews and Mickey Rourke."

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crews, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, David Zayas, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, Charisma Carpenter, Eric Roberts, Giselle Itie, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gary Daniels

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Screenwriter: Sylvester Stallone\

Studio: Lionsgate Films

Poster: Iconic

Trailer: Not seen one

Pro: the cast

Con: the director and screenwriter

Verdict: TV

 

I'd only ever see it for Eric Roberts, to be frank.

 

Well, I doubt it'll be boring.

 

Did you list the director, Sylvester Stalone, the greatest living American, as a con?

GET

OUT

 

My local cineplex is having midnight showings tonight for *both* The Expendables and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. This seems a bit optimistic to me.

 

I am optimistic that I may one day be able to again go for five minutes on the internet without seeing someone mention Scott ******* Pilgrim.

 

I did.

 

Eat, Pray, Love (2010)

39 % Tomatometer

Reviews Counted:121

Fresh:47

Rotten:74

Average Rating:5.4/10

Consensus: The scenery is nice to look at, and Julia Roberts is as luminous as ever, but without the spiritual and emotional weight of the book that inspired it, Eat Pray Love is too shallow to resonate.
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Runtime: 2 hr. 13 min.

Genre: Drama

Theatrical Release: Aug 13, 2010 Wide

Synopsis: "While trying to get pregnant, a happily married woman realizes her life needs to go in a different direction, and after a painful divorce, she takes off on a round-the-world journey. Based on the memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert."

Starring: Julia Roberts, James Franco, Javier Bardem, Richard Jenkins, Billy Crudup, Viola Davis, Habi Subiyanto, Mike O'Malley, Tuva Novotny, Luca Argentero, Giuseppe Gandini, Andrea Di Stefano, Michael Cumpsty, Sophie Thompson, Ru****a Singh, Christine Hakim, Arlene Tur, David Lyons, TJ Power, I Gusti Ayu Puspawati, A. Jay Radcliff, Gita Reddy, Welker White, Lucia Guzzardi, Silvano Rossi, Elena Arvigo, Lydia Biondi, Emma Brunetti, Chiara Brunetti, Ritvik Tyagi, Micky Dhameejani, Anakia Lapae, Ashlie Atkinson, Lisa Roberts Gillan, Ryan O'Nan, Dwayne Clark, Jennifer Kwok, Mary Testa, Elijah Tucker, Karen Trindle, Zach Dunham, Ned Leavitt, Clair Oaks, Lynn Margileth, Roberto DiPalma, Ludovica Virga, Marco Lastrucci, Jose Ramon Rosario, Remo Remotti, Vanessa Marini, Ajay Bhandari, Sd Pandey, Anand Yeshwant Bapat, Peter Davis, Shona Benson, Dean Allan Tollhurst, Richard V. Vogt

Director: Ryan Murphy

Screenwriter: Ryan Murphy

Studio: Sony Pictures

Poster: Dull

Trailer: Not bad, but not good, either

Pro: the cast

Con: seems like a story that's better on the page

Verdict: TV

 

If it's better on the page it'll be an atrocious movie indeed. I read this one only for a bookclub.

I mean, I don't want to trivialize her pain, but I'm also not interested in reading how terrible your life is when you've just gotten a huge advance/grant to travel the world and write about it.

 

I love how they say that it doesn't have the emotional and spiritual weight of the book when the book was about the fluffiest, shallowest book I've ever attempted to read. (I bailed early.)

 

The only thing of interest is that it's shot by Bob Richardson. So... it probably looks very good.

Aaaand that's about it.

 

Well, I haven't read it, either; I thought it was about grammar, or something.

 

Centurion (2010)

54 % Tomatometer
Reviews Counted:41

Fresh:22

Rotten:19

Average Rating:5/10

Runtime: 1 hr. 37 min.

Genre: Action & Adventure, Mystery & Suspense, Drama

Theatrical Release: Aug 27, 2010 Limited

Synopsis: "CENTURION is set during the war between Roman soldiers and Pict tribesmen during the 2nd century Roman conquest of Britain. Michael Fassbender stars as Quintus Dias, Roman centurion and son of a legendary gladiator who leads a group of soldiers on a raid of a Pict camp to rescue a captured general (Dominic West). The son of the Pict leader is murdered during the raid, and the Romans find themselves hunted by a seemingly unstoppable group of the Pict?s most vicious and skilled warriors, led by a beautiful and deadly tracker (Olga Kurylenko), and hell bent on revenge.--©" Magnolia [More]

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, Olga Kurylenko, David Morrissey, Noel Clarke, Rizwan Ahmed, J.J. Feild, Liam Cunningham, Imogen Poots, Axelle Carolyn, Riz Ahmed, Dave Legeno

Director: Neil Marshall

Screenwriter: Neil Marshall

Studio: Magnolia Pictures

Poster: Good

Trailer: Not seen it

Pro: Marshall, the setting

Con: Apparently gore-fest

Verdict: Hell, yeah.

 

This looks like the movie King Arthur wishes it could have been. And I love Marshall. Can't wait to see this one.

 

The cast looks very, VERY promising! I'll give this one a shot.

 

This looks astoundingly great.

 

Any movie that has Dominic West in a leading role means I'm in.

 

This has been out in theatres for a while here, but I haven't mustered up the energy to go and see it. If I did, it would be for Michael Fassbender, who I think is going to be one of the next big things as far as leading actors go.

 

I will see it, but I'm not expecting much.

 

The Last Exorcism (2010)

83 % Tomatometer

Reviews Counted:6

Fresh:5

Rotten:1

Average Rating:6.2/10

Runtime: 1 hr. 40 min.

Genre: Horror, Mystery & Suspense

Theatrical Release: Aug 27, 2010 Wide

Synopsis: "When he arrives on the rural Louisiana farm of Louis Sweetzer, the Reverend Cotton Marcus expects to perform just another routine "exorcism" on a disturbed religious fanatic. An earnest fundamentalist, Sweetzer has contacted the charismatic preacher as a last resort, certain his teenage daughter Nell is possessed by a demon who must be exorcized before their terrifying ordeal ends in unimaginable tragedy.

Buckling under the weight of his conscience after years of parting desperate believers with their money, Cotton and his crew plan to film a confessionary documentary of this, his last exorcism. But upon arriving at the already blood drenched family farm, it is soon clear that nothing could have prepared him for the true evil he encounters there. Now, too late to turn back, Reverend Marcus? own beliefs are shaken to the core when he and his crew must find a way to save Nell ? and themselves ? before it is too late."

Starring: Patrick Fabian, Ashley Bell, Iris Bahr, Louis Herthum, Caleb Jones, Jamie Alyson Caudle, Tony Bentley

Director: Daniel Stamm

Studio: Lionsgate

Poster: Good

Trailer: Not seen it.

Pro: intriguing plot

Con: too similar to "The Exorcist"?

Verdict: TV

 

When I first heard about this movie, I wasn't too interested, but the trailers have won me over a bit.