[S.A.T. questions by ASG] If you could stab someone in the thorax with a pen or a pencil........

No

 

a pen with lead based ink..

 

Pete gets a gold star.

Crem I'm making you my head scary blue flying monkey. Stab at will, you can start with beezel if you so desire.

 

Pen obviously. A pencil (assuming non-mechanical) is unstable and might break in any number of ways on the way in, including the unlikely but possible scenario of running your own hand through.

Do we get extra credit for saying what kind of grip we would use? A hammerfist (palm up or down depending on if you flank your opponent to the right or left) would obviously be the strongest but that makes for an akward angle.
A standard knife grip thrust would then seem like the best choice but the correct answer is actually a quarter sabre grip because you don't really gain much from the twisting motion of the former and the thumb would provide extra stability.

<puts pencil/pencil down>

 

You are now my head of security

 

...I wouldn't. I would take the fountain pen that I was using and squirt ink into the eye of the guy trying to kill me. Then my annoying friend would say, "The pen! Tony! The pen is mighter than the sword." Then I would escape from the belly of the steel beast.

 

A baloo is a bear.

 

I'll stab anyone you ask me to, Juli. Ain't no thang.

 

Is that an official JCC job? Can I put on my sig and resume?

 

I choose pencil for the same reasons as Montie. Plus once it breaks and someone manages to take it out, they'll still have to deal with the splinters and possibly an infection.

 

Fixed

 

Do you hang your head & cry when you hear that whistle blowin'?