Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!!!!

"There's a saying amongst the officers; If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, give it to Rimmer."


Cat: Hang five, guys... I'm getting something. He committed suicide, he committed suicide, he committed suicide, and the fish committed suicide. There's some kind of link here, but I can't quite put my finger on it...


Kryten: Ah, Virgil's Aeneid. Oh, the epic tale of Agamemnon's pursuit of Helen of Troy--the most classic work by the greatest Latin poet who ever put quill to parchment!
Lister: Yeh, it's the comic book version. It's good though, man. Absolutely full of history.
Kryten: (reading from comic book) Zap, pow, kersplat, die in bed you Trojan pig-dog, gnyarrg, kerpow. I see they've remained faithful to the original text, I'm sure Virgil would have approved.
Rimmer: Kryten, don't discourage him. It's the only thing he's ever read that doesn't have lift-up flaps.
Lister: I dunno though, this wooden horse of Troy malarkey, I'm not buyin' that.
Rimmer: It's one of the most famous military maneuvers in history!
Lister: I mean, the Greeks have been camped outside Troy, kerpowing, zapping, and kersplatting the Trojans for the best part of a decade, yeh?
Rimmer: So?
Lister: So all of a sudden they wake up one mornin' and the Greeks have gone. And there outside the city walls they've left this gift, this tribute to their valiant foes, a huge wooden horse--just large enough to happily contain 500 Greeks in full battle dress and still leave adequate room for toilet facilities? Are you telling me not one Trojan goes "Hang on a minute, that's a bit of a funny prezzy. What's wrong with a couple hundred pairs of socks and some aftershave?" No, they don't; they just wheel it in and all decide to go for an early night... People that stupid deserve to be kerpowed, zapped and kersplatted in their beds! You know what the big joke is? From this particular phase in history we derive the phrase "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts," when it would be much more logical to derive the phrase "Beware of Trojans, they're complete smegheads."

 

Lister - "why would a haddock try and kill itself?........Why am I even asking that question?"

 

Wasn't there going to be a movie too?

There still is. There have been years of false starts, finances not turning up, and scripts not being right. But it seems that Doug Naylor has a script and finances in place now for filming sometimes next year. However, I'm not very optimistic because the writers are gonna be the same ones that did series 7 & 8 (which I hate)... so we'll see. The plan is to take the plot back to the start, before the accident that wiped out the crew.

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I hope when all the series are out on DVD, they'll release a fancy boxset with them all in.

 

Series 5 is out on DVD next month I can't wait - the previous double DVD sets have been amazing Thats how a DVD should be put together.

They've released a box set of the first four series that just have the episodes, no extras Pointless for me because I have the double DVDs for each series thus far.

 

They need to get the original writers back on board - from the first few series. I'm just not sure how it would translate to the big screen - I can't remember but does Red Dwarf have canned laughter?

 

yeah i gotmy dvd pre-ordered

 

Series 7 had canned laughter because it was filmed without an audience. All the other series were done with an audience. However, I cannot envisage a movie having laughter in it. Even comedy movies don't.

--- --- ---

There's a part of me that is unsure about getting further DVD releases immediately (I have 1 - 4) incase a snazzy box set (with the extras) is announced near the time series 8 gets the treatment. It's not as if I won't be able to watch the episodes, as I have all the episodes from their original VHS release.

 

Kryten: Theres an old android saying which I believe is peculiarly appropriate here. In binary language it goes something like this: 001100111011000111100, which roughly translated means "Don't stand around jabbering when you're in mortal danger".

Oh, and this...

[image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v315/dani1138/reddwarf.jpg]

 

I think it went really wrong when they stopped having audiences - the acting changed because they weren't performing anymore.

Both Craig Charles and Chris Barrie were (still are) accomplished stand up comics (as were Norman Lovett and Hatty Hayridge). The interaction with the audience comes across the best in the Smeg-Ups when things go wrong and they talk to the audience.

Sadly Grant and Naylor won't work together again as I think they've fallen out. Their solo books were ok (Backwards is better), but it clearly showed that one guy was funny, and the other guy had the good story ideas. Together they were classic, but apart they're nowhere near as good.

The movie could be good, although I'm worried that its going to destroy the franchise

 

I agree with the ^Manager^ on this issue*.

*except Last Human was better.

 

How the Red Dwarf movie might look

and remember, Jenny Agutter appeared in one episode She's dreamy.

 

Woah, that's feaky. Wonder why they didn't put Chloe in there?

 

chloe in where ?

 

In place of Leia, I think.

My answer would be... because she's pants.

 

oic - silly malkie

 

Both solo books were...turgid. The plots got too star trekky. And the series went down hgard and fast once the split. I am a huge fan of the series, but I am dreading the film.

 

I think everyone is dreading the film.

The reason I prefer Last Human over Backwards, is that Backwards re-used one too many concepts from the TV show. Also, Holly was squeezed in unecessarily.

 

yeah, film could either edeam the last two season......or ruin it more

 

So who has bought / will be buying Red Dwarf VI now it's been released. I bought it today, and it looks very nice next to the previous series. I hope the extras are gonna be as good as the previous releases.

I can finally retire my VHS Red Dwarf collection now (or at least, good VHS Red Dwarf - series 7 & 8 videos barely get played).

 

woot! Thanks for the heads up - I'll buy it on the way home tonight !

I still have my VHS collection on the shelf, but I'm not sure why. Probably because of the smeg-ups and smeg-outs tapes which aren't on single DVDs (although the smeg-ups for each season are on the DVDs).

Season VI has some very good episodes, with the exception of Emohawk which cashes in on some cheap pops. Much better than VII, and infinitely better than VIII making it the last decent RD season.

 

Yeah my Smeg-Ups and Smeg-Outs tapes are still watched occasionally. The quality thing about them is the effort that went into them. Kryten hosting, Lister popping up. Good stuff.

EDIT: I also have recorded a 'Red Dwarf Night' that the BBC did (a few years ago now), that has 'Can't Smeg Won't Smeg' with Ainsley Harriot, Universe Challenge (cast versus fans), and a RD A-Z thing. And an introduction from Patrick Stewart!!!

 

The tapes were made for the fans - that's clear, and it was the attitude that the RD cast and crew used to have.

Silly stuff like including the forward version of the Arthur Smith rant in Backwards, the words to the theme tune, footage of the RD convention and deleted/extended scenes made it so much more of a good purchase. It was a DVD bonus disk before the age of DVDs, and everyone rushed out and bought it because we knew we'd get a good laugh.

Pity they destroyed the franchise with the last two seasons.

(from Justice Zone)
Computer - "Name?"
Lister - "Dave Lister"
Computer - "Occupation"
Lister - "Bum"

EDIT: I also have recorded a 'Red Dwarf Night' that the BBC did (a few years ago now), that has 'Can't Smeg Won't Smeg' with Ainsley Harriot, Universe Challenge (cast versus fans), and a RD A-Z thing. And an introduction from Patrick Stewart!!!

I think most of that stuff is on the DVDs. The can't cook won't cook was gold - especially when Kryten used his groinal attachment, and Lister (I think) swapped the pots around.

 

I laughed my arse off at that segment. And then Chloe at the end didn not want to try what Dave and Kryten had cooked up.

 

'Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit. Four super brushes that will clean even the trickiest of sea-bound mammals! Yes I am over 18 although my I.Q. isn't...'

Owen

 

I think most of that stuff is on the DVDs. The can't cook won't cook was gold - especially when Kryten used his groinal attachment, and Lister (I think) swapped the pots around.

Yeah it is. Although I pleased I've got the original broadcast on tape. Also, Craig Charles swapped the pots around, but the great thing was that Chris Barrie hadn't been told about it, and so was genuinely puzzled.