Songs that remind you of the JC, take 3.1

A take on Michael Jackson's "Thriller":

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the board
Under the forum listing, you see a post that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
You're paralyzed

'Cause this is threadkiller, threadkiller night
And no mod's gonna save you from the troll about strike
You know it's threadkiller, threadkiller night
You're fighting for your posts inside a killer, threadkiller tonight

You hear the AIM door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold mouse and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind
You're out of time

'Cause this is threadiller, threadiller night
There ain't no second chance against the Beal with forty eyes
You know it's threadkiller, threadkiller nigh
You're fighting for your posts inside a killer, threadkiller tonight

Night trollers call
And the mods start to walk in their masquerade
There's no escapin' the jaws of darthpsychotic this time
(They're open wide)
This is the end of the JC

They're out to get you, there's barry socks closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change the digits in your password
Now is the time for you and I to post close together
All thru the night, I'll save you from the terror on the screen,
I'll make you see

That this is threadkiller, threadkiller night
'Cause I can thrill you more than any troll would ever dare to try
Girl, this is threadkiller, threadkiller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller
Threadkiller here tonight

Darkness falls across the board
The midnite hour starts to leave many bored
Flamers crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'awl's JC neighbourhood
And whichever mod that shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the trolls of hell
And rot inside a spam thread's shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The threads of trolls beyond compare
And grizzly messages from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you ban to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere member can resist
The evil of the threadkiller...

 

Parody of "Union of the Snake" by Duran Duran

I'm at TheForce.Net's forums
I don't want to make a mistake
There's rules against trolling
And flaming and spamming
And these rules I don't want to break

If I listen close I can hear them oldbies, oh
Wishing for that Golden Age of so long ago...
Your post count, at the JC, is on the climb
Moving up it's gonna race it's gonna break
10,000 posts in a matter of time

Last night I got a warning
for spamming the Community
This morning I trolled in PSA
and got perm-banned from the JC


Your post count, at the JC, is on the climb
Moving up it's gonna race it's gonna break
10,000 posts in a matter of time

 

Parody of "Union of the Snake" by Duran Duran

I'm at TheForce.Net's forums
I don't want to make a mistake
There's rules against trolling
And flaming and spamming
And these rules I don't want to break

If I listen close I can hear them oldbies, oh
Wishing for that Golden Age of so long ago...
Your post count, at the JC, is on the climb
Moving up it's gonna race it's gonna break
10,000 posts in a matter of time

Last night I got a warning
for spamming the Community
This morning I trolled in PSA
and got perm-banned from the JC


Your post count, at the JC, is on the climb
Moving up it's gonna race it's gonna break
10,000 posts in a matter of time

 

Parody of "Union of the Snake" by Duran Duran

I'm at TheForce.Net's forums
I don't want to make a mistake
There's rules against trolling
And flaming and spamming
And these rules I don't want to break

If I listen close I can hear them oldbies, oh
Wishing for that Golden Age of so long ago...
Your post count, at the JC, is on the climb
Moving up it's gonna race it's gonna break
10,000 posts in a matter of time

Last night I got a warning
for spamming the Community
This morning I trolled in PSA
and got perm-banned from the JC


Your post count, at the JC, is on the climb
Moving up it's gonna race it's gonna break
10,000 posts in a matter of time

 

A take on John Lennon's "God":

A post is a concept
By which we measure
Our pain
I'll say it again
A post is a concept
By which we measure
Our pain

I don't believe in spoilers
I don't believe in IP anonymyzing
I don't believe in Bible threads
I don't believe in applesauce
I don't believe in Mayor
I don't believe in darthpsychotic
I don't believe in barry
I don't believe in Servo
I don't believe in Legal
I don't believe in Slackergate
I don't believe in PreacherBoy
I don't believe in Lord Chewy
I don't believe in spamming
I don't believe in Beal
I don't believe in Speedos
I just believe in me
Star Wars and me
And that's reality

The Golden Age is over
What can I say?
The Golden Age is over
Yesterday
I was the troll
But now the mod
I was the wind
But now I'm Qui-Gon
And so dear friends
You'll just have to carry on
The Golden Age is over

 

Ok, that might've been too dark. Apologies. Here's another song, The Beatles' "Things We Said Today":

You say you'll stay in the JC
If I have to go
You'll be thinking of me
somehow I will know
Someday when I'm lonely
wishing you weren't so far away
Then I will remember
Posts we made today.

You said JC would be ours, girl
'til the end of time
A promise like that, girl
is so hard to find
Someday when we're dreaming
deep in thought, not a lot to say
Then we will remember
Posts we made today

Me I'm just the lucky kind
Love to hear you loved my thread about love
And though we may be blind
Star Wars is here to stay and that's enough

To make you mine, girl
be the only one
Post threads all the time, girl
we'll go on and on

Some day when we're dreaming
deep in thought not a lot to say
Then we will remember
Posts we made today

Me I'm just the lucky kind
Love to hear you loved my thread about love
And though we may be blind
Star Wars is here to stay and that's enough

To make you mine, girl
be the only one
Post threads all the time, girl
we'll go on and on

Some day when we're dreaming
deep in thought not a lot to say
Then we will remember
Posts we made today

 

A take on The Doors' "Riders on the Storm":

Mods on the storm
Mods on the storm
Into this world we're born
Into this board we're thrown
Like a dog without a bone
A SW actor out alone
Mods on the storm

There's a troll on the road
His brain is like a toad
Take a long holiday
Let the newbies play
If ya give this troll a ride
Sweet JC will die
Troll on the road, yeah

Girl ya gotta trash the troll
Girl ya gotta trash the troll
Give him a 24 hour ban
Make him understand
The world on you depends
Our board will never end
Gotta thrash the troll, yeah

Wow!

Mods on the storm
Mods on the storm
Into this world we're born
Into this board we're thrown
Like a dog without a bone
A SW actor out alone
Mods on the storm

Mods on the storm
Mods on the storm
Mods on the storm
Mods on the storm
Mods on the storm


And a take on Led Zeppelin's "All My Love":

Should I ran out of posts, my board in the light
To chase an oldbie in the wind
Within the forum that weaves a cloak of delight
There moves a thread that has no end.

For many hours and days that pass ever soon
the tides have caused the flame wars to dim
At last the arm is straight, the hand to the loom
Is the JC to end or just begin?

All of my posts, all of my posts, All of my posts to you.
All of my posts, all of my posts, All of my posts to you.

The subject is raised, the post is made yet again
One voice is clear above the din
Proud fan one word, my will to sustain
For me, the cloth once more to spin

All of my posts, all of my posts, All of my posts to you.
All of my posts, all of my posts, All of my posts to you.

Yours is the cloth, mine is the hand that sews time
his is the Force that lies within
Ours is the fire, all the warmth we can find
He is an oldbie in the wind.

All of my posts, all of my posts, All of my posts to you.
All of my posts, all of my posts, All of my posts to you.

 

i have this thread book marked, but i have NO idea why....

 

I don't wanna work!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!
I don't wanna play!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!

Ever since I was a tiny newbie,
I don't want no modship, I dont need no deocrum!
I sit down in my favorite chair,
And I post until I spam ev'ry forum!

I don't wanna work!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!
I don't wanna play!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!

When I get older and I'm now a midbie,
I want to help out in the JCC!
I start being nice and really helpful,
And now they will make a mod out of me!

I don't wanna work!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!
I don't wanna play!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!

(BASS SOLO)

I don't wanna work!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!
I don't wanna play!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!

Every day when I log off the JC,
I feel so frustrated, the n00bs are such jerks!
I log back on as my trusty newbie sock,
And I spam the thing until it will have to lurk!

I don't wanna work!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!
I don't wanna play!
I just wanna post on teh JC all day!




No similarity is intended between this fictional account and what mods actually do. No offense intended, implied, or any other "i" word that might come to mind.

 

Here's a parody medley of some of songs from The Beatles' Abbey Road, including "You Never Give Me Your Money", "Sun King", "Mean Mr. Mustard", "Polythene Pam" and "She Came In Through the Bathroom Window":

You never give me your postings
you only give me your spammy rations
And in the middle of Communications
you break down

I never give you my ICQ number
I only give you my situation
And in the middle of IP investigation
I break down

Out of the forum, mind is spent
See no future, pay no rent
All the posts are gone, nowhere to go
Any troller got the sack
Monday morning turning back
Snowboards is slow, nowhere to go

But oh, that oldbie feeling
Nowhere to go
Oh, that oldbie feeling
nowhere to go
nowhere to go
Ah, Ooo, Ah, Ooo, Ah

One sweet dream
Pick up the archives and get in the limousine
Soon we'll be away from here
Step on the gas and wipe that tear away
One sweet dream
Came true today
Came true today
Came true today

One two three four five six seven
All good newbies go to heaven


Ah
Here comes the Son of the Sun King
Here comes the Son of the Sun King
Everybody's posting
Everybody's happy
Here comes the Son of the Sun King

Quando para mucho mia more de felice post-a-thon
Mundo paparazzi miamore chicka farraday parasol
Cuesto obrigado tanta mucho que can eat it ban me well


Mean darthpsychotic posts in the park
swears in the dark, tries to say "paper"
Sleeps in a hole in the road
Saving up to buy him some clues
Keeps a "How-to-hack" note up his nose
Such a mean old man
Such a mean old man

His brother jasman works in the JC
he never stops, he's a go getter
Takes DP out to see AOTC
Only place that he's ever been
Always shouts out something obscene
Such a dirty old man
Such a dirty old man


Well you should see the Speedo on jasman
Newbies think jas is good looking
Not knowing that he's really a man
Well, then they imagine him in drag
dressed in a polythene bag
Yes you should see that Speedo on jasman

Yeh, yeh, yeh

Get a dose of him in jackboot and kilt
He's killer diller when
he's dressed to the hilt
He's the kind of a mod
that makes the news of the world
Yes you could say he was attractively built
Yeh, yeh, yeh


She came in through the JC's window
protected by a silver icon
But now she posts a post and wonders
By the banks of her own lagoon

Didn't anybody tell her
Didn't anybody see
Sunday's PMing Monday
Tuesday's PMing me

She said she's always been a spammer
She worked at fifteen social clubs a day
And though she thought I wanted to ban her
Well I knew what I could not say

And so I quit the Mod Squad department
And got myself a steady job
And though she tried her best to help me
She could PM Beal, but she could not PM BoB

Didn't anybody tell her
Didn't anybody see
Sunday's PMing Monday
Tuesday's PMing me

 

A take on Paul McCartney and Wings' "Band on the Run":

Stuck inside these forum walls, sent inside forever,
Never seeing no one nice again like you,
Hama you, Hama you.

If I ever get out of here,
Thought of giving it all away
To the JC community.
All I need is a post a day
If I ever get out of here. (If we ever get outta here)

Well, the board exploded with a server crash
As they yelled Son of the Suns,
And the first troll said to the second one there
I hope you're having fun.

Banned on the run, banned on the run.
And Vertical and jasman were searching every one
For the banned on the run, banned on the run,
Banned on the run, banned on the run

Well, the moderator drew a heavy sigh
Seeing no one else had come,
And a bell was ringing in Communications Square
for the spammers on the run.

Banned on the run, banned on the run.
And Ludicrous and Missninfan were searching every one
For the banned on the run, banned on the run,
Banned on the run, banned on the run

Yeah the banned on the run, banned on the run,
Banned on the run, banned on the run

Well, the night was falling as the message board
began to settle down.
With their IP checks they're searching for us everywhere,
but we never will be found.

Banned on the run, banned on the run.
And the forum mod, who held a grudge
Will search for evermore

For the banned on the run, banned on the run,
Banned on the run, banned on the run

 

Good ones, SotS!

 

Thanks.

 

Living on the boards my friend,
is gonna keep you pale and mean
Now you wear your sig like a shell,
Your posts as hard as kerosene.
You didn't plan to avoid real life,
but it never matched your dreams
Did anybody cry when you said goodbye,
slipped through the cracks the seems.

Farraday was a spamming boy,
He posted fast, we watched him grow
He wore his stars outside his name
So all the honest world to know.
Farraday met his match you see
In the threads down in JCC
They edited his final words,
Ah but that's the way it goes.

All the Moderators say
they could have banned him any day
They only let him slip away
out of kindness, I suppose.

Jotun, he can't post and abuse
all night long like he used to.
The ban that fairy got down there
fortified Jotun's despair
The day they laid poor fairy low,
Jotun left with little show
Where he got the will to go,
there ain't nobody knows

The poets tell how fairy fell,
and Jotun's living in cheap motels
The JC's quiet, Denal's cold,
And so the story ends we're told
fairy needs your prayers it's true,
but save a few for Jotun too
He only did what he had to do,
and now he's growing old

And all the Moderators say,
They could of banned him any day.
They only let him go so long
out of kindness I suppose.

 

Nice, but what was that a parody of?

Here's a take on "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid:

Newbie there, the real world is a mess
Life at the JC, is better than anything they've got out there!

The colors are always greener
In somebody else's place
You dream about going out there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the board around you
Right here on the TFN floor
Such wonderful threads surround you
What more are you lookin' for?

At the JC!
At the JC!
Newbie it's better
Down here in the
Jedi Council Community
In the real world they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to postin'
At the JC!

Down here all the posters are happy
As off through the threads they roll
The people in RL ain't happy
They're sad 'cause their life's a troll
But non-JC people are lucky
They're avoiding a worser fate
'Cause if you troll in RL
Your head won't be on the mod's plate
Oh no!

At the JC!
At the JC!
Nobody beat us
shoot us and eat us
At the JC
We're what the critics love to bash
But at the JC we kick some ash
We got no troubles
Life is the bubbles
At the JC!
At the JC!
Since life is sweet here
We got the beat here
Naturally
Even the basher an' the gusher, yay
They get the urge 'n' start to play
We got the SW spirit
You got to hear it
At the JC!

At the JC!
At the JC!
When the oldbies
Teach the newbies
It's music to me
What do they got? A lot of land?
We got Sgt. Sushi's Golden Age Band
Each woman and man
know how to jam here
At the JC!
The young and the old here
Cuttin' a rug here
At the JC!
The mods and the regs here
Know how to post here
That's why it's hotter
So hot we need Kamino water
Ya we in luck here
Though we can't say ___ here
At the JC!

 

Oh, sorry, looks like it's to late to add that in hmm?

Pancho and Lefty Townes Van Zandt

 

This is a very cool thread! i was gonna do maxwells silver hammer, but then SOTS did it. then i was gonna do While my guitar gently weeps. but then SOTS did it!

grrr!

so here's the JC version of stayin alive

Well you can tell by the way i post my thought
I'm a JC man, no time to talk
Topic locked and posters banned I've been a trolled around since i was born
And now its alright. Its OK
You may post the other way
We can try to understand
The Force dot net's effect on man

Whether you're a troller or whether youre a spammer,
your stayin online, stayin online
feel the mods a breakin and everybody shakin
were stayin online, stayin online
Ah, ah ah ah stayin online, stayin online
ah ah ah ah stayin online

Well I get flammed and I get banned
and if i can't get either i really try
Got the mods of heaven under my shoes
I'm a trollin' man and i just can't lose
And now its alright. Its OK
You may post the other way
We can try to understand
The Force dot net's effect on man

Whether you're a troller or whether youre a spammer,
your stayin online, stayin online
feel the mods a breakin and everybody shakin
were stayin online, stayin online
Ah, ah ah ah stayin online, stayin online
ah ah ah ah stayin online

I'm goin' nowhere. Somebody ban me.
Somebody ban me, yeah.
I'm goin' nowhere. Somebody ban me
Somebody ban me, yeah. I'm Stayin Online.

Well you can tell by the way i post my thought
I'm a JC man, no time to talk
Topic locked and posters banned I've been a trolled around since i was born
And now its alright. Its OK
You may post the other way
We can try to understand
The Force dot net's effect on man

Whether you're a troller or whether youre a spammer,
your stayin online, stayin online
feel the mods a breakin and everybody shakin
were stayin online, stayin online
Ah, ah ah ah stayin online, stayin online
ah ah ah ah stayin online

I'm goin' nowhere. Somebody ban me.
Somebody ban me, yeah.
I'm goin' nowhere. Somebody ban me
Somebody ban me, yeah. I'm Stayin Online.

 

sorry double post

 

It's good to see some new people posting here.

The Smashing Pumpkins' "Tonight, Tonight":

Time is never time at all
You can never leave the JC without leaving friends behind
And the boards are forever changed
They will never be the same
The more they change the less you post
Believe, believe in me, believe
That we can change, that your posts aren't in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight, tonight

And you know you're never sure
But you're sure you could be right
If you held your posts up to the light
And the memories start to fade of the JC's Golden Age
The threads with your first posts
Believe, believe in me, believe
In the resolute urgency of now
And do you believe there's not a chance tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight, tonight
We'll crucify the spamming trolls tonight
We'll make things right, we'll post in threads all night
We'll find the Golden times again tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, Tonight
Tonight, tonight
Tonight
Tonight

 

Great one, Jeff!

---

i was gonna do maxwells silver hammer, but then SOTS did it. then i was gonna do While my guitar gently weeps. but then SOTS did it!

grrr!

so here's the JC version of stayin alive[/blockquote][blockquote][hr][/blockquote]


Sorry to say this, but I beat you to that as well. :p It was among the first songs I posted to the original "Songs that make you think of the JC". Unfortunately, it was on the first page of the thread, and that page is now long gone. :(

 

you beat me to that one as well????

oh man! you do all the good songs!

 

Another Beatles classic is JC-fied:

Let me take you down
cause I'm going to
the Jedi Council
Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about
Jedi Council Forever

Posting is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It's getting hard to post something
but it all works out
It doesn't matter much to me

Let me take you down
cause I'm going to
the Jedi Council
Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about
Jedi Council Forever.

No one I think is in my JC
And Snowboards is loading low
That is you can't, you know, sign in
but it's all right
That is I think it's not too bad

Let me take you down
cause I'm going to
the Jedi Council
Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about
Jedi Council Forever.

Sometimes I think I should leave the JC
But you know, I know when it's a dream
I think I posted something mean, ah yes
but it's all wrong
that is I think I disagree

Let me take you down
cause I'm going to
the Jedi Council
Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about
Jedi Council Forever
Jedi Council Forever
Jedi Council Forever

...I banned Paul... applesauce...

 

I know some oldbies (you know who you are ) aren't fans of the original song, but here's my take on Elton John's "Crocodile Rock":

I remember when the JC was young
Me and the oldbies had so much fun
With one-worders, chat threads and made-up songs
The place was full of gold threads beyond anything known
But the biggest kick I ever got
was reading a thread full of Mayor's Crock
Before the kids were spamming around the clock
We were laughing and laughing to the Mayor's Crock

Well Mayor's Crock is something shocking
where it says that Anakin takes the red pill
I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will
Oh, how I remember those Friday nights
when jasman wore his Speedos tight
and the Mayor's Crock threads were out of sight

But the years went by and the board just died
OWC went and left us like orphaned Jedi
Long nights crying by the computer machine
dreaming of my old JC and that UBB scene
But they'll never kill the thrills we've got
Reading up on the Mayor's Crock
Learning fast as the weeks went past
we really thought those days would last

 

Jeff already did Sgt. Pepper, so I'll try to make Revolver into a full JC album. I've already posted 3 of the songs, and here's 3 more.

"I'm Only Sleeping"

When I wake up early in the morning

Read my thread, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
I stay in the thread, float up stream (float up stream)

Please, don't wake me, no, don't shake me
Leave me where I am - I'm only posting

Everybody seems to think I'm lazy
I don't mind, I think they're crazy
Going everywhere with such modem speed
Till they find there's no need (there's no need)

Please, don't spoil my day, I'm miles away
And after all I'm only posting

Keeping an eye on the world going by my Windows
Taking my time

Sitting there and staring at the ceiling
Waiting for a JC feeling...

Please, don't spoil my day, I'm miles away
And after all I'm only posting

Keeping an eye on the world going by my Windows
Taking my time

When I wake up early in the morning
Read my thread, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
I stay in the thread, float up stream (float up stream)

Please, don't wake me, no, don't shake me
Leave me where I am - I'm only posting


"Love You To"

Each day just goes so fast
I turn around - it's past
You don't have time to sign on at JC

PM me while you can
Before I'm a dead old man

A lifetime is so short
A new one can't be bought
And what you post means such a lot to me

PMing all day long
PMing singing songs

There's people standing round
Who ban you in the ground
They'll fill your head with all the things you see

I'll send PMs to you
If you want me too


"Here, There and Everywhere"

To lead a better life I need my home to be here...

Here, posting each day of the year
Changing my life with the wave of her hand
Nobody can deny that there's something there

There, running my mouse through her thread
Both of us thinking how good it can be
Someone is posting but she doesn't know he's there

I want her everywhere and if she's at the JC
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that the board is to share

Each one believing that Star Wars never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

I want her everywhere and if she's at the JC
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that the board is to share

Each one believing that Star Wars never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

To be there and everywhere
Here, there and everywhere

 

Good luck with doing all of Revolver. You're off to a good start.