Star Wars EP IV: A New Hope (UK FF Stylee)

OWEN: No wait...that R2 unit's head's just exploded. I think you were about to say, Luke, that he has a bad motivator. But if you ask me...its dillusional because its really an R5 unit that THINKS its an R2 unit! Feckin droids!

THREEPIO: Master, I can recommend that other spunky young droid. The one jumping around on its wheels trying to get noticed...he's always like that, sir, but I can assure you, he's never had any complaints from any of the Hutts he's ... um ... serviced...

OWEN: Alright...you...DROID...move it...before I change my mind...

 

*Spider thing in background*

*moves arm a bit*

 

<couldn't look (Luke ho ho) more bored if he tried>

 

I saved you sorry 3 legged ass R2D2 don't you forget it...

 

later in Lukes workshop C3P0 begins to decend into a refreshing oil bath

Oh my gawd...this going to feel soooooo good

 

<Reading Escort>

Och it's nae fair. Mah uncle owen is a fat balding ****. I wanna boot his fat arse fae here tae th deep core. I wanna ging tae th academy Women like soldiers...

 

vrootbeeptootbeepbeeptootwhistlebeeptootpop
(oh boy, look at her, hold on, opps, you aint meant to see her, oi, stop looking its not fer your eyes)

 

You don't sound very happy Sir

 

Fit dae you think ye golden nonce. I'm 18 an a fecking virgin. There's nae talent roond here and I wanna get laid. Hey you little fecker haud still while ah get this thing oot o ye

<Princess Leia's hologram appears>

Yumm she's affa tidy. Would ye mind comin tae the bathroom wi me for a few mins Artoo?

 

fuzzzbeeeptootnarfpopwhinefping
(get out of it yer nonce, next youll want me on spin cycle)

 

He says it's an old thing that was tapped on the end of a video of Televison X The Fantasy channel..

 

Dis she strip in that vid? If so Ahll tak aff yer restrainin bolt if you show th hardcore stuff

 

http//:fuzzzbeeeptootnarfpopwhinefping.com
(take it off now or ill roll menicingly at ya)

 

Calm doon ye wee $4!t. Fit are ye gan tae dee?


<laughs and taunts Artoo>

 

//wobbles furiously

 

can I have a character to play, too?`???

 

I wouldn't do that sir..he has this thing that pops out and gives you a shock..

//blushes

Not that anything would shock me

//winks at Luke

 

www.wooopopspurtblangkerpowyipee.org
(you steamng great nonce, shoot him, shoot him now)

 

check back and see if any characters are free bel

 

Ahh suggest ye fecking puff that ye dinnae try neen o yer crap wi me! Unless ye hae some kind o <cough> enjoyment program?

 

Ok, I'm our beloved Ben Kenobi now. A fitting role, isn`t it???? lol
but now at least Gav is my student... and I can treat him badly

 

thats cool as gitees has gone

 

*Aboard the Imperial Star Destroyer in orbit around Tatooine, Darth Vader wanders down to the detention block to check on the progress of the Princess' torture.
As he nears, carrying his hot cup of Earl Grey, he hears muffled cries and moaning*
(To guard): Sounds like the Interrogation Officer is giving her the full work over.

(Sheepish looking guard): Uhh, yes sir.

Vader: Better leave him to it for now then. Tell him to report to me once he has completed his work, directly..... *waggles finger dramatically late*

Guard: Yes sir

*As Vader is walking back a loud cry of "Oh, oh YES!!" is heard aloud*

Huh?!

 

A women's voice calls out to Luke from another room.

AUNT BERU: Luke? Get yer feckin erse in here. Yer tea's ready.

Luke stands up and shakes his head at the naughty robots.

 

Inside the Homestead

//Owen farts

oooh that's the fella...Beru yah bint...where's my ba$tard dinner???