The best of EU quotes - what's your favorite??

VADER: Greetings, Moff Tarkin. We are honored by your presence, and that of your gues---

TARKIN: Yes, yes, splendid. Thank you very much.

*****

TARKIN: My Emperor, you're looking well.

EMPEROR: Don't suck up, Tarkin.

*****

EMPEROR: Okay, Tarkin, let's cut through the formalities. I received your advance communication and have looked over the plans. Although I find it most impressive, there are still a few details I wish to go over with you.

TARKIN: But of course, my Emperor. What is it that troubles you exactly?

EMPEROR: Well, for starters, the name. D.M.I.B.S.? That doesn't really strike terror into your heart, does it?

LEMELISK: My Emperor, it's simply the acronym for Deep-Space Mobile Imperial Battle Station. All projects are named thus for easier record keeping.

EMPEROR: No, I understand, but that name would just look too busy on any of our stationery. I need something straight and to the point.

TARKIN: The Planet Killer.

VADER: *phft*

EMPEROR: Not that straight and to the point. I want epic.

SIVRON: Death from Above?

LEMELISK: Titanic?

SIVRON: Sun Blocker!!

VADER: How about the Death Star?

TARKIN: Oh, please! You can't be serious!

*****

EMPEROR: Do we really want something as important as our tractor beams to be so easy to shut off?

SIVRON: Sir, the ease of tractor beam operation is in direct response to the tragic occurences on the Star Destroyer ACKYUNA.

TARKIN: My Emperor, not all stormtroopers are as smart as we would like to think. Anything we can do to simplify their day will be beneficial in the long run.

EMPEROR: True, true. What about these bottomless pits? Would it be too much to ask for some safety rails? I mean, I'm ruthless, but I gotta walk these halls, too, and my balance ain't what it used to be.

SIVRON: It's not too much to ask, as long as you don't mind an overall budget increase of 36%.

EMPEROR: Oh, in that case, I'll just be careful.

*****

EMPEROR, to VADER: Whenever I'm on this thing, I want you with me at all times. The last thing I need is for some guy to sneak up behind me and throw me into one of these pits.

VADER: Yes, my master.

*****

EMPEROR: Gentlemen, I'm willing to overlook the many flaws---polar-gravitational matrix, equatorial docking, inadequate restroom facilities. But there's one thing I will not stand for.

This thermal exhaust port is too freakin' big! What is that, fifteen meters wide?!

SIVRON: Sir, you have to have some way of venting excess radiation. It would explode without such a vent.

EMPEROR: Granted, but if I had a nickel for every yahoo was able to fly into one of my capial ships and knock out my reactor, I could build two of these things!

TARKIN: Where's the port located?

LEMELISK: Mid-hemispheric equatorial trench.

TARKIN: What is the minimum safety requirement for ventilation?

SIVRON: We can go as small as two meters.

TARKIN: How many cannons line the trench?

LEMELISK: 250 standard. 250 ion.

TARKIN: My Emperor. We can reduce the port to two meters and line the trench with an additional 500 cannons. We can also ray-shield the exhaust port to prevent any incursion. You would have to fly down this trench like a mynock out of Hell, evade one thousand cannons, and hit a target that's no bigger than a womp rat! Trust me, there is no one in the galaxy who could make such a shot.

VADER: Ahem.

TARKIN: Except, of course, Lord Vader.

(to self): Arrogant son-of-a-

(out loud): URK! GAK!

EMPEROR: VADER!!!

VADER: Hey, I'm not doing anything.

TARKIN: S-Sorry. Coffee w-went down the wrong pipe.

*****

All quotes from STAR WARS TALES: "A Death Star Is Born."

 

I don't want to write "Yub, yub, Commander" now!

"History is on the move. Those who cannot keep up will stay behind to watch from the distance."
That is SO true.

A lot out of SoA
Most of what Droma said - this guy is SO cool!

Elegos A'kla meets Shedao Shai:
[...]Shai: "I will introduce you to the Embrace of Pain."

"...in the hometown-whose-name-is-nevermore-to-be-said." General Melvar, Iron Fist, p.110

 

This isn't my favorite, but it's a good one:
"It's a human custom. A new way to miscommunicate so you can find reason to kill one another."
Dia Passik

"' Because I am sick of it,' Hobbie said. 'I'm sick to death of 'Hello, I'm so-and-so and I've killed this many enemies, and I challenge you, and we bow and go by the rules and say cute things to one another, and isn't it nice that were all dead now?' Tycho, I want to shoot something. I want to blow something up. NO apologies. No advance warning. Just lethal efficiency. Before frustration kills me.'"
Hobbie I think that's the most he's ever said in one book, I think.

I also like what Wedge says to Janson about the sun, but I can't find the page.

 

The way Ton Phanan signs his will

"Ton Phanan
Pilot, wit, and superior intellect"

 

A small addition:

"This jeedai lives, and I will again taste his blood as he dies" - Shedao Shai, Onslaught

"Thus die all traitors" - Kir Kanos, Crimson Empire

"Skywalker flew an X-Wing. As your father was fond of saying: "Know your enemy." " - Kir Kanos, Kenix Kil One-Shot

 

This is just so incredibly stupid that it's funny. I don't have the book, but it's that part about moff ships and Mofferences.

 

Face: "By the way, I'm putting in a commendation for Kel for his initiative, and one for Lieutenant Janson for bravery."
Wedge "Like he needs another one"
Face: "Maybe he can build a little fort out of them."
The part right before that is funny, too. Can I just say that all of the x-wing books are my favorite quotes?

 

ROFLMBO! ANYTHING's allowed...

Hey Tears, I can't believe those are in an actual publication... It's hilarious! I need to get those comics. Thanks!!!

There are some Union quotes quite a way back, and the sun one with Wes and Wedge. READY for this?? (you've been forewarned... )
Union #1:
Luke:How bad is it Han?
Han : on a scale of one to the Death Star? It's
about... Heck, kid, just elope.
Luke: That bad?
Han: Keep the drinks coming please

Han: I can't remember the last time I was right. Oh, wait, it was before I met your sister.
Luke: I knew you then Han, think further back

Some more c/o Mirax_T
Iella: "Well, isn't that what husbands are for? training you to be able to deal w/ children?"

Luke and Mara:
"No, mara, i understand what happened, i just don't understand how you consider your day UNEVENTFUL."
"It's not the same as what happened last night, you started a riot."

Winter (after a slingball game): I thought Ithorians' were peaceful
Ithorian (Winter's mark in the game): I thought Alderaanians' supposed to be peaceful

(c/o Qui-gonn Jinn)

Luke: When Mara kicks me out, you'd best have a guest room ready...
Han: I thought Jedi didn't know pain.

Misc Imp: Nice wookiee...

and there's that with Booster and Janson
Booster: What are you idiots doing here?
Janson starts to answer
Booster: Not YOU, THEM.

Wes: Hobbie, what are we defending with?
Hobbie: Our good looks and trenchant wit?
Wes: THAT's quite enough defeatest talk, thank you.

Heh, don't you just love Wes and Hobbie...

Here's the one (from page 2)
From SoA:

Wedge: Sithspit! What's that?
Janson: That's the sun Wedge. It's after dawn
Wedge: Well, it offends me. Turn it off
Janson: It's a 130, 140 million klicks from here
Wedge: Go up in your X-Wing and shoot it down for me

Wedge: ..we have the right tools to subvert our Imperial admiral
Hobbie: What tools?
Wedge: Wes's maturity, your optimism, and my diplomatic skills
Hobbie: We're doomed

Hobbie: I practise (screaming) a lot. Anytime Wes makes plans for the squdron for example. Anytime a Corellian cooks for us

------

Kate, heh much of the GoDV quotes (which is far too cheesy it's almost a crime...) is soo bad.. The Trioculus thread by JS77 has some of the choice ones..

 

Okay, anyone ready for more quotes? No? too bad. <g>

From RUIN:

Jaina: "What about Ganner?"
Corran: "He's from Teyr -- he wouldn't know odds from groats."

Corran (about Ganner): "He's handsome, too, as you've probably noticed."
Jaina: "Well, it's hard not too"
Corran: "His preening all the time kind of makes it obvious."

Mara: "Better doing something than just waiting."
Mirax: "Waiting is so boring"
Luke: "I don't seem to recall the word *boring* ever being applied to times when the two of you are running around together. In fact, I recall --"
Mara: "We wre exonerated."
Mirax: 'And we *could* have been at your academy during those years instead of off on our adventures. Your students would have loved *that* distraction."

Ganner: "I've heard the Pesktda Xenobotanical Garden is worth seeing"
Corran: "Yeah, well, don't figure you're going to get time to read all the exhibit signs"
Jacen: "Hey, at least he thinks you can read".

Pallaeon: "I had a chance to study your initial report from Garqi. Good work"
Corran: "Jacen Solo prepared the report, I just corrected some spelling"
( I KNOW that wasn't MEANT to be funny, but for some reason, it just cracks me up.)

Jag: "You're not grim"
Jaina caught herself before she could proclaim that she was, in fact, grim -- grim enough to outgrim him even.

Jaina: "Oh no, I am *not* going to let myself fall for some guy who thinks grim is the normal state of being. Not the time or place to even be thinking about it"

Wedge: "Wouldn't bleeding into a cup and offering that make more sense?"
Corran: "Um, sure, in a non-Corellian sort of way"

Corran: "He wants those bones back, he'll get them, and in a big box, too. I'm going to pack his in with them, then the Vong can carry the whole stinking lot back to wherever they call home"

Corran: "Borsk stayed behind?"
Kre'fey: "He did"
Corran: "Brave, stupid. Brave, stupid. Not sure which I want to believe of him"

Kre'fey: "I seem to remember there having been a good reason for recalling Colonel Horn to active duty, but it escapes me now"

Will come back later with quotes from The Last Command and the Krytos Trap!

jen

 

Hi, some observations from Corran:-

It's in the eyes - the years are just not there but apparently the piloting skill is! (Gavin Darklighter)

His eyes have seen the years - have seen more years than they should have. (Wedge Antilles)

 

Wow! There are a lot of good quotes out there!
Here are some of my faves:

Heir to the Empire
Threepio-
"Yes, well, you've always believed that; I suppose you're entitled to your delusions."

The Last Command
Thrawn-
"You don't have to believe, but be prepared to be proved wrong."

~Lissyne

 

Heh, there's loads more so keep em coming!

 

From The Krytos Trap:

Wedge considered for a moment all the offer implied and felt sorely tempted. Sienn'rha's sensuous beauty, grom her full ips and ark eyes to her fluid and athletic grace, hinted at pleasures he'd not had time to enjoy for . . .*If I can't remember off the top of my head, it's been well and nigh too long*

Cazne Olan: "It is much to be preferred to the alternative suggested by the Basic pronunciation"
Wedge: "Which is?"
Cazne: "Difficult to translate"
Wedge: "Give me a rough go at it"
Cazne: "Being genrerous, it is 'One so foul he could induce vomiting in a rancor' "
Wedge: "i refer yur pronunciation, I think"


Wedge did his best to ignore the fain retching sound Tal'dira made in the back of his thrat as he pronouced Wedge's name.

Ackbar: *To combine those things into a plot would be leaping to a conclusion of Borskean porportions.*

Corran's thoughts while stormtroopers were looking for him: *That's it. He's getting frustrated No one is in the cabinets. No one can BE in the cabinates. They're too small to hide anyone, much too smal. There's no one in here. There's notihng to see here. No one is hiding in here. It's all clear. There's no one here. This cabinet is empty. Empty empty empty. All clear. What a waste of time searching ths cabinet. It's empty. There's no one here. What sort of an indiot would trap himself int hese cabinets?!*


Feyl'ya: "You are most kind, Jedi Skywalker."
Wedge: "That's just because you're not a womp rat scurrying down some canyon, Councilor."
Luke: "No chance of his being mistaken for that, Wedge"


The Last Command and In the Empire's Service to follow, hopefully!

Jen

 

Oooh! Finally a place to unload all my favorite quotes! Most of these have to do with Rogue Squadron. Wonder why?
"Stop it, Wedge! You're embarrassing me!"
-Wes Janson, Starfighters of Adumar
"Attention, Implacable. Be advised, you've just become the victims of Dinner Squadron." "And Silly Squadron" "Consider yourselves humiliated. Oh, and welcome to Folor. Out."
-Kell Tainer and Runt Ekwesh, Wraith Squadron
"A very sensible attitude in my opinion, but if you tell anyone I said that, I'll simply have to deny it."
-Airen Cracken, Starfighters of Adumar
"I'm with Rogue Squadron. Impossible is our stock and trade, and sucess is what we deliver."
-Corran Horn, The Krytos Trap
"Most coroners would consider calling Rogue Squadron down upon yourself as suicide."
-Iella Wessiri, Isard's Revenge
"You think I'm egotistical?"
-Wedge Antilles, Wedge's Gamble
"Keep trying, Sandskimmer. I'm old. I might be tiring already."
-Wedge, Wraith Squadron
"Does the phrase 'one-leg-hopping maniac' have any special meaning in Twi'lek culture?"
-Wedge, Solo Command
"No, Fey'lya, you misunderstand me. Usually when I punch someone in the stomach and throw him on the floor, it means 'Get your stinking @$$ of my ship.' The head-butt and everything else, that's just 'cause I don't like you."
- Booster Terrik, Isard's Revenge
"I have a bad feeling about this."
-Anybody and everybody, all books and movies
"Sometimes I miss my sanity."
-Wedge, Iron Fist

Hmm....that's all for right now, I guess. Bye!

 

lol! unload em all here!

 

A funny Wedge/Wes exchange from Starfighters of Adumar:

Wedge: (upon waking up)"Sithspit! What's that!"
Wes: "That's the sun, Wedge. It's after dawn."
Wedge: "Well, it offends me. Turn it off!"
Wes: "It's a hundred thirty, hundred forty million klicks from here, Wedge."
Wedge: "Go up in you X-Wing and shoot it down, then."

Also from SoA:

"You can leave through the door, or over the railing, Tomer."
-Wedge
"She's growing up. She's matured maybe two or three years since last night. Mybe we can make a weapon out of the process and shoot Wes with it repeatedly."
-also Wedge
"I'm so tired of all this 'Hi, I'm so-and-so, and I've killed this many people. Now let's sit down and be all happy and friendly, and aren't we glad that we're all dead now?' I want to SHOOT something!!!!"
-Hobbie (while jumping up and down in a temper-tantrum style)

 

I never realized SoA was that funny before. Maybe I'll go buy it.

 

Jedi Bib, you'll be doing yourself injustice if you don't read that book. Believe me, you'll be missing out a lot if you dont.

We need more Wes quotes!!!

 

Solo Command-
Wookiee is not among my many languages, you extruded fur thing. Where's Solo?
Solo Command-
Wes- Wedge, you dont speak Wookiee.
Wedge- I-Oh, sithspit.
later in the conversation-
Wedge- Who won?
Wes- Tyria Sarkin. She said you'd say "sithspit".
Wedge- You've finally earned my gravest revenge.
Wes- You don't ever take revenge. That's beneath Wedge Antilles, Hero of the New Republic

 

"...but it was all done so artistically." -Grand Admiral Thrawn.

my favorite line from my favorite character.

 

It's like this, actually..

"But...it was so artistically done."
-Thrawn

 

Same for me... Wonderful last words of a wonderful character.

 

whoa - she's alive! =D

Maybe I should dig out my fave BP quotes...

 

"I would ask all of you to lift your glasses and join me in a toast. TO Rogue Squadron - past, present, and future. Those who oppose freedom and liberty oppose us. Let that fact give them pause to think and encouragement to travel the path of peace."
- Wedge, Bacta War. The last thing he says in the novel.

"Oh, no. What I said arlier, about wanting to spare them at the end - I'm lucky I didn't have that chance. It would have been a mistake."
- Admiral A'baht, Tyrant's Test.

"Die Slowly."
- Sorannan, Tyrant's Test.

Wedge: She's just growing up. She's come two maybe three years since the other night
Iella: That's good.
Wedge: Maybe we can figure out how to build a weapon out of the process and shoot Wes a few times.
Wes: I heard that.
- SoA

"Listen to me, Face. We do not surrender. Your face under the makeup and my prosthetic modifications are going to be too easy to identify. If we surrender, the whole Hawk-bat plan just evaporates, and we have to start all over where Zsinj is concerned. I'm not going to have that."
"Even at the cost of your own life."
"That's right. Starting over means more time. More time for Zsinj to bombard more colonies, to destroy more ships. Another day may mean some bright young doctor gets it the way I did and ends up what I am."
"What you are is pretty good."
"Not as good as some kid with a superior intellect whose only aim is to make people better. I'd rather he be out there than me. If I die..."
"You're not going to die."
"Shut up and listen, Face. If I die, you can't let them find my body. They'd identify me. DO whatever it takes you to get back to the unit, but don't let them find me."
"You're not going to die."
"Promise me you'll dispose of me."
"I promise. But you're not going to die."
"Well, I'll try to hold you to that promise, too. There's no traffic, yet we're stopped. WHy is that?"
"Your fault for hiring an incompetent driver."
Ton and Face, Iron Fist

"It's up there again."
Ton Phanan's last words

"You can't look dignified when you're having fun." - Wes
Later in the novel.
"And remember what a very wise man once told me, you can't look dignified when you're having fun." - Myn
"If I knew who that wise man wasI'd shoot him." - Wes

"And when I look from where they are to where my future is, there's just no one there. No future."
- Ton Phanan

"I'm asking career advice from a nine-year-old."
- Donos on Wes

 

Memories.