The Complete History of SNL Celebrity Jeopardy: May 14, 2005

It was fun to see the "this is the sound a doggy makes" question return unexpectedly.

 

April 15th, 2000

Pretty good one; actually balances all three contestants instead of letting one of them be dead weight like most of the others thus far. Hammond's Connery enters, guns blazing: "Sean Connery, who has set a new Jeopardy record by . . ." "Suck it, Trebek." Maguire's Keanu is pretty great. He has the cadences down. Fallon's Swank doesn't sound right, but the way he does her smile is hilarious and the cutaway to "Chad Lowe" weeping in the audience made me laugh out loud, as did Swank's questioning "Light Urple?" Ferrell's Trebek isn't quite as good here as in others, but he gets some moments: "Oh, good, Mr. Connery wants to say something."

December 16th, 2000

Trebek and Connery steal the show again, right from the very beginning: "I really thought that was going to work." "Well, you were wrong, you mountebank. I pose a conundrum to ya, a riddle if ya will." "I don't want to hear it." "I can't remember how it goes, but your mother's a whore." Liu's Catherine Zeta-Jones is not brilliant, but she gives Ferrell one of his best moments, his exquisitely confused reaction to her selection of "Giraffes for a billion." Fallon's Williams doesn't have the manic energy of Williams, but he sounds like him and, once again, he gets some great reactions from Trebek: "It's like Jesse Helms and Michael Jackson goin' 'Yo quiero Taco Beeeeellllll!'" "You're a very sick man." The Final Jeopardy bit got about the biggest laugh I think any of these have gotten to date: "You'd have to be the dumbest people in the world to mess this up . . . and now let's see how you messed it up." And then he's twisting the pen in Robin Williams' hand and barking, "Don't ever come here again." God, Ferrell is amazing in these. I'm firmly settled in my mind that this series of sketches is the best work Ferrell has ever done.

 

10. February 8, 2001

Video Clip

Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond)
Ozzy Osbourne (Horatio Sanz)
Martha Stewart (Ana Gasteyer)

"This sketch took place on one of SNL's Thursday Night Live specials and is another Jeopardy featuring all SNL cast members. Count on Connery to turn the category ?Richard Nixon? into ?Hard On? and drive Trebek to keep a flask in his pocket ready for times he wants to kill Connery for his mental torture."

Ozzy Osbourne is a dead loss, and considering the target involved, disappointing.

Gasteyer's Martha Stewart, though, is right on target. We get her three main notes: the lunatic homemaker ('frost-tipped ecalyptus'), the lonely mogul, and the ball-breaker: ('I'm filthy rich, I don't need your chump change.")

Hammond's Connery is growing more and more bizarre/surreal:
"It certainly is, you beef-witted applejohn..."

Trebek is going around the bend faster and faster, to judge by the flask, and his comment about Connery drawing him hanging himself. The dead pauses after Connery has been exceedingly offensive never grow old.

 

February 8, 2001

Well, Horatio Sanz is awful; I am not totally suprised by this as his range is generally from awful to unbelievably awful. Why didn't they call in a favor and get Dana Carvey in there? He does a great Ozzie. I don't even remember that lady playing Stewart, but she's not bad. She completely nails the steel behind everything Stewart says; her delivery of "screw 'em" is perfect. Hammond once again steals the show; his knock knock joke was brilliant and I just about rolled on the floor over his, "Ah, laddie, I give you a hard time, but it's all in good fun," at the end. Best bit, however, was the sheer defiance when Connery rang in on Don't Do Anything; he sort of points the buzzer at Trebek like its a phaser. On the whole, this one wasn't that great; I didn't buy Trebek's moment of joy at the end. I really loved the moment in an earlier one when Trebek thought Connery had answered "InDOORS" on Where Are You Now and had a brief moment of real happiness; but it's too late in the game now for this stuff. Trebek knows Connery doesn't like him. Is it weird that I'm critiquing a Saturday Night Live sketch on the basis of its characterization? Nah.

 

The one thing I do like about Ozzy is the way he does his whole routine at the beginning there . . . and then just abruptly straightens up and looks totally lost as to what he's supposed to be doing now. Other than that, though, absolutely terrible.

"Screw 'em," is definitely the best part of the skit. Other than that, it doesn't have much going for it. Connery's maliciousness is always fun, but it's been done much better in other sketches.

 

10. September 29th, 2001

Video Clip

Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond)
Chris Tucker (Dean Edwards)
Anne Heche (Reese Witherspoon)

"Will Ferrell has referred to the Jeopardy sketch as ?the spirit of Saturday Night Live,? and he couldn?t be more right, especially for this sketch, which took place during the first SNL episode after the September 11th attacks. Reese Witherspoon?s commitment to her duty as host was commendable, and SNL showed us that it was okay to laugh again, particularly when Connery vandalizes the ?Famous Horsemen? category so it reads ?Hore Semen.?

Chris Tucker: One-note, and no good jokes.

Anne Heche: Witherspoon is pretty good, but she's a better actress than a comedian. (She mimes complete terror when she's asked whether or not she wants a cookie.)

Connery: "I gave up Harry-fricking-Potter for this!"

Trebek: "You'll notice that I'm wearing a new suit. Apparently, Mr. Connery thought that my leg was closer than the urinal."

Connery laughs.

Trebek looks at him for several beats, shakes his head and moves on.

Trebek and Connery are like Charlie Brown, Lucy and the football. Trebek knows better, but he just can't help himself.

 

The last two have not been amusing, I think it's just wearing thin.

Reese Witherspoon as Anne Heche was quite strong, even though she plays her insanity completely straight.

Connery's fake apology was almost touching, but predictable.

 

September 29th, 2001

That was, I think, the weakest one to boot, the inspiring qualities of it being right after 9/11 notwithstanding. Hammond's Connery seems subdued in this one somehow; he's not up to his usual energy level and, oddly, most of his jokes fell flat (including the repeated bit about his abuse of Trebek being "all in good fun;" it was better the first time they did this joke and it wasn't that great then). Chris Tucker should have been better. I think I could do Chris Tucker better than that guy. Witherspoon isn't doing much of an impression of Heche, but she's game and she got the only chuckles this sketch got out of me; her space language made me laugh the first time and her benevolent nod when Trebek addressed her as Celestia was inspired. But pretty weak, on the whole.

 

They've amped up Connery's antagonism well -- he's taken the maliciousness up to outright peeing on Trebek now, and he points out that he actively looks forward to coming on here to torment Trebek -- which is why the whole let's-be-friends ploy doesn't work. Well, that and the fact that they just used it in the last sketch.

"You're very proud of yourself, aren't you?" "Yes, I am," was a solid exchange -- the fact that Connery is cackling and delivering his line offscreen helps sell it. Other than that, and the continuing gag that the celebrities don't understand that they're playing for charity and don't care about the money, which I like, there's not a ton to like. The Tucker impression especially is just horribly annoying and not funny.

 

Zing.

 

12. May 18, 2002

Video Clip

Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond)
Dave Matthews (Jimmy Fallon)
Björk (Winona Ryder)

"It should be mentioned that Trebek stoically endures all 14 sketches drowning in hopeless disbelief for the celebrity stupidity around him, so for Ferrell?s last episode as an SNL cast member, the real Alex Trebek made a cameo. Trebek has said that he loves SNL's Jeopardy sketches and was ?extremely disappointed when Will left. We've never had any contestants as ornery as the Sean Connery character that Darrell Hammond portrays. I've been asked how I would feel if we had Sean Connery on Celebrity Jeopardy! I tell everyone I'd just walk up to him and punch out his lights.?

Jimmy Fallon as Dave Matthews: *One* good joke.

Wynona Ryder as Bjork: This is actually dead on, very funny, and elicits: "Are you Icelandic or retarded?" (That manages to insult *both* groups)

Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery: He's getting to the stalker category. His quip about both Trebeks is pretty funny, though. *Everything* seems funny in that Scottish burr.

Ferrell is as usual--brilliantly stoic, or stoically brilliant, can't decide which.

 

I loved the long setup for "Do they make them for men?" with Trebek totally unable to see what's coming and sort of nervously going along. Other than that, there's not much to it.

I'd totally listen to an album of Sean Connery's filthy limericks, though.

 

May 18th, 2002

It has some fine moments. Connery's routine about Trebek's jacket is fantastic; it just keeps going and going with no end in sight. The punchline, of course, is pretty weak, but the interplay leading up to the punchline is great. Ryder is fantastic as Bjork; she nails absolutely the pronunciation of "sometimes" and "laugh" and it gets funnier every time she says the words. I liked the cut to Fallon with violinist just behind him; the rest of the Matthews stuff was not too great. Trebek's walk-on is weird and I hate that we didn't get a real Final Jeopardy. Also, for those keeping score, two repititions here: 1. Trebek asks Bjork if she's "Icelandic or retarded," repeating a similar remark to Minnie Driver about being British; 2. Trebek asks a question and when Fallon's character buzzes in he suddenly has a guitar and starts singing (the Adam Sandler song was better than the Dave Matthews one).

 

13. May 14, 2005

Video Clip

Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond)
Bill Cosby (Kenan Thompson)
Sharon Osbourne (Amy Poehler)

"Will Ferrell came back to host SNL in 2005, and Jeopardy first-timers Amy Poehler (who plays a pitch-perfect Sharon Osbourne) and Kenan Thompson (as Bill Cosby) joined Ferrell and Hammond to bring back the sketch after a three-year absence. The timelessness of the sketch has made it immune to danger from breaks, current events, and cast switch-ups ? all that?s needed for it to survive is Trebek, Connery, and two more talented impressionists."

Bill Cosby: He's got the voice and the mannerisms, and no decent jokes.

Sharon Osborne: Fabulous. Trebek's expression when Minnie is pressed against his face is priceless.

Sean Connery: "That's not a finger and you know it!"

Trebek: The expression after he introduces Osborne, and the sigh he gives before introducing Connery, are great. "That's just awful, and you know it."

 

Connery was on fire, and Osbourne and Cosby were both solid impressions for once. Trebek was as good as ever -- definitely the best skit in a while.

 

The 3 year break seems to have given the sketch a new lease of life. The 3 celebrities are all good (Cosby is probably the most disappointing but it all still works), the categories are quite funny ('Black comedians named Whoopi', 'Automatic Points') and above all the Trebek/Connery rivalry has gotten some better gags - Connery's 'misreading' was a genuine surprise (for me anyway), and the sign off for First Grade Math was hilarious:

Trebek: 0+0-0=0 ... I think we have a winner those *are* numbers, a first grader would know that, well ... that's all the time we have--
Connery: Oh, don't you want to see what I wagered Trebek?
Trebek: ... do I?

 

This one has some of my favorite Trebek/Connery interactions:

"Well, well, well, Trebek. Fancy seeing you here. It's been a while."
"Not long enough."
"That's not what your mother said!"


"I had relations this morning, Trebek. Hope I didn't wake you. Your mother's a screamer."
"For your information, my mother is in a nursing home in Alberta Canada."
"Oh, she was nursing, all right."


"That's not a finger and you know it!"


"I believe you'd find that in the R's section."
"No, not in the R's."
"Not in the arse? That's not what your mother said."
"I walked right into that one."



And I love Poehler's "mother******!" outburst when she misses the "How many fingers am I holding up?" question.

 

May 14, 2005

The audience is in a receptive mood (Much like your mother last night, Trebek!), since it's been a while since a Celebrity Jeopardy sketch. Thompson is not too bad as Bill Cosby, though Jimmy Fallon does Cosby better; that would probably be a bridge too far, however. Poehler is sidesplittingly great as Sharon Osbourne, from her slowly devolving introduction to her climactic moment, literally rubbing Ferrell's Trebek in the face with her dog. This is one of the best ones I've seen on this series. Connery gets some nice moments and gives Trebek somes ("That's not a finger and you know it.") The tension is absolute in the final moments; "Don't you want to see my wager?" "You promise it's a number?" "Absolutely, friend." Very good one. Poehler steals the show on this one.

 

There is one SNL Jeopardy skit left, but I'm having trouble downloading it.