The newly improved and OFFICIAL School of Jedi Crashology and Jedi Smooshing.

Fascinating. I was just wondering what happened to this thread last night, and I come home from school to find that it's back.

 

Wouldn't Anakin be "forking out" already? He is a 16-YEAR-OLD BOY after all! Insurers develop a twitch whenever one of those walks into the office...

 

After reading Conquest:

It looks as if the fringe organizations are feeling the brunt of Jedi involvment too.

Anakin has really blown his allowance this time.

 

In my most recent research, I note at least three Anakin crashes, a couple of smooshes and a semismoosh.

However, I find it interesting that there is a distinct lack of crash where one would be expected. This will warrant further research. Perhaps EoV2:R will prove my suspicions.

Class dismissed...

 

Rats -- I was hoping my new textbook would arrive before I left town for a two-week trip (it was expected via UPS . . . uh oh, do you suppose . . .). I'm writing from an unknown destination, so far unsmooshed. There is a Barnes & Noble in town, though, which is good. Glad to hear the smoosh count continues satisfactorily.

 

Conquest has E-WINGS! What joy and bliss to see those return to the land of crash and smoosh. Anakin shoots one down, uses the repulsor from it to make a sled, then crashes the sled. I knew this boy could achieve his true potential if given the chance!

 

Is there a website where I can get the whole list?

 

The first page of this thread has the list; however, it is horribly outdated and hasn't been updated since we moved to snowboard.

I'm trying to update it, but in case you didn't know Itrakh and his wife are expecting our little Ganodghriling any day now.

Astute observation on the E-wing Prof. Grunt. Glad to see you still earning your paycheck.

 

Does any one have an offical list of the crashes of Conquest?
Spoiler free, if possible. With a spoiler warning if necessary.

 

Lots of talk about deductibles lately! Professor Itrakh, is it true you've taken on a second job selling collision insurance to help finance the young one?


Your life is about to enter a new reality.

 

Just bringing this back to the front page so Prof. Itrahk can find it easliy when he announces the arrival of the new student. Or will the little Ganodghriling be a professor right from the start?

 

My new apprentice crashed into the world Wed April 18th at 6:30 am MST.

He's already proved to be an apt pupil in the ways of crashing.

Now, if only I could crash now and then... <YAWNS>

 

Congratulations

 

Wonderful! What is the little one's name? Or is that too personal for a Gandohgri?

Embrace Chaos for a while! The real priorities will become evident.

 

Mahrowkh

 

Congratulations and welcome Parents Anonymous. Any and all questions, concerns, gripes or praises are welcome. Several of your faithful students have survived parenting an assortment of Cub, gruntlings, sithfry, and other offspring.

 

In fact, the hard part will be tuning out everyone's advice! Whatever you do, make every attempt to limit yourself to one parenting book per month. This will get you past the danger period when you still think someone must have written an owners' manual for these things! Trust yourselves, and your excellent Gandnogrhi instincts.

Now for the advice! Some people are control and discipline freaks, and think they should have the baby on their schedule immediately. They also think you can spoil babies and that babies deliberately try to 'get away with' things.

This is very sad. The baby cries because it is the only expression it has. When it cries, respond. You can't spoil them by too much holding or loving.

 

Congratulations on the new arrival! Ah, takes me back. (my baby is in high school, sigh!) Rule #1 is to sleep when the baby sleeps. And parents are the ones for whom paper plates, drive up windows and diaper service were invented.
Enjoy every minute, they grow up so fast you won't believe it, and there is no going back!
Returning to lurkdom... Regards to all
Sarah

 

Rule #2: Don't do anything while the little darling is sleeping that you can do while he is awake.

My baby is in 6th grade and I don't do anything while he is in school that I can do with him underfoot at home after school


Darth Tuna is right on with the advice about spoiling babies, BTW.

 

You forgot the mimban battle.

 

I think Merk may be on to something here.
Has anyone looked at the health and life insurance rates of Jedi padawan and masters?
This could be some sort of unForcely pact between Sith and insurence agents.
Perhaps all these dead masters had those "no medical exam, 2 credit-a-month" insurance policies sold on the holonet by retired second banana/Sith's cleainghouse sweepstakes promoters?

 

Def. food for thought.

Good work all!!!

 

The wee hours of the morning in a child infested household.

Muse: Grunt, wake up!

Grunt: Huh? What time is it? Oh, its you. Now what do you want?

Muse: Isn?t it obvious. You and that Ganoghri pal of yours are way overdue in the next mission segment.

Grunt: You woke me for that! Balance Point was published months ago. KT is obviously in no peril, but you may be if you don?t leave me alone.

Muse: Fool! The mission involves time travel. It doesn?t matter that Balance Point made it to press already. What matters is that you must have already succeeded, else there would bee no book. Now get to work!

Grunt: Gadzooks! I see your point. Still, why are you bugging me instead of Itrakh?

Muse: I tried waking him but he is even more plagued by sleepless infants than you are. Now quit complaining and get on with it.

Grunt: Grumble, grumble, grumble. . . (he shuffles to his keyboard)


What has come before (for those of you who don?t remember due to the extreme timespan between posts)

The School of Crashology and Jedi Smooshing Strike Team have embarked on a monumental mission, to save Kathy Tyers from certain peril. They have taken the Bacta Avenger (a time machine/spaceship borrowed from the Heinlein Estate) through space and time to Montana, before the damage could be done. Unbeknownst to the intrepid crew, sinister forces have been at work to prevent their success. The Bacta Avenger was forced to make an unscheduled landing. The crew has left the ship to find out exactly where and when they are.

Grunt: All right people, what did we find out?

Bror: The parking lot is frightening! Not a single Acura in sight. Lots of late sixties and early seventies models in practically new condition. I?m freaked.

Dev: It gets worse. I scoped out the mall. The girls all dress the way they do in my school. Platform shoes, bellbottoms, the whole retro thing, no big deal. It?s the guys that you should see! Polyester shirts with the biggest collars I?ve ever seen. I think it must be Halloween.

Itrakh: This Ganoghri has performed an inspection of the Avenger and it is as suspected, the ship has been attacked and damaged. The instruments are giving faulty readings.

Darth Tuna: The stream revealed unusually high traces of pesticides that have been banned for twenty years. I suspect foul play. Someone is trying to poison this town.

Dewlanna: Hruumph, growl, grunch. (Thumps translator with the kind of gusto only a Wookie can manage) All I saw was the inside of this stinking ship! The TV shows were lousy. Nothing but Gilligan?s Island and I Dream of Genie.

Grunt: Well people, I have some surprises for you. I found a newspaper and it could be worse. We found Montana, (Bror snorts derisively as if anything else could be expected of his navigation skills) but we landed a bit further back in time than planned.

Dev: How far back?

Grunt: 1977. Don?t panic. I know you aren?t born yet, but be assured that you exist and will continue to do so. As I see it, the mission is still paramount. We have to find and protect KT. I?m confident that we can still succeed. Now lets get moving again