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Saga - OT The Wind that Shakes the Corley (Celtic Song Challenge) -- COMPLETE!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Mistress_Renata, Feb 4, 2017.

  1. Pandora

    Pandora Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Well: it looks as though I'm the last to arrive at this party, but I'm here now to catch up.

    It turned out that the ending wasn't that dramatic scene I had predicted where Ryas and Niall met again as enemies on the Field of Battle (or--given that Ryas is an engineer and unlikely to be on the front lines--the Control Room of Battle). I do think, having read it, that Niall needed to confront Ryas--both for him, and for himself. He does not reveal everything, but he is upfront about the overall truth. What Ryas does with that truth is for after THE END, and it will be up to him; after all, epiphany has to come from within. And unfortunately--and I think this will be the case for Ryas, given how dedicated he has been to the Empire--it oftentimes hurts like a *****.

    I can't say if Ryas will have that epiphany where he realizes that the side he has been on, the one that has given his life the security and purpose he must have lost when he was growing up during the Clone Wars, is the wrong one. But I do think it's possible. Ryas has made some mistakes, but he is man enough to regret them. And I think it does say something that he returned to their favorite spot, and that he was able to find the bottle and its message.

    And no, I don't think this is a sad ending. In my previous comments, I have focused on the pain in the Celtic ballads, but this ending, and Niall's letter, reminded me of another aspect: True Love always, always remains true. Ryas might not yet be able to see it, but Niall showed how much he loved Ryas by writing to him honestly about ugly truths. And while the objective odds might be against their meeting again--this is based off a ballad, and I would say that the chances that they will once again meet are reasonably good.

    The journey of this story--and it has been a journey this year as I followed along with Niall's story as you posted it--has reached its close, but the characters' stories are still open: Niall is only just entering the new world of the Rebellion, while Ryas is now faced with the possibility of his own changes. If you ever are moved to write those stories, I can assure you that I will be back to read.

    Finally: thank you, again, for writing this story for the challenge!
     
  2. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    I devoured this story in a single sitting last night, and then I read it a second time because it's really that good. I absolutely loved what you did with the song, from the idea of placing your story on Corellia to the way you handled Niall's transition from law-abiding citizen to rebel.

    As soon as I reached the end of chapter 1, I was telling myself "I have a bad feeling about this" -- not only for Alderaan, because that was kind of predictable (I *have* seen Star Wars, after all) but also because of Ryas's reaction. It felt very much like he was running away from telling Niall what happened, and that didn't bode well for their future as a couple.

    The whole process of Niall learning about the destruction of his homeworld and coming to understand that it's real -- not only understanding that it's not a bad joke, but taking the full measure of what he's lost -- was painful to read. And the way Ryas handles the situation... it just won't do, will it? Despite his love for Niall, he still comes up with rationalisations for what happened, he can't hide his admiration for the engineering feat, he still wants Niall to join the navy... Put simply, he just doesn't *get it*.

    I loved how Niall's first contact with a survivor like himself was walking outside the Alderaanian boutique and seeing the flowers and messages of solidarity -- and I adored how you brought the shopowner back for a later scene. But before I get to that, there's Dan. Now Dan is a true, dyed-in-the-wool best buddy, and it was interesting to see him be so much closer to Niall's perspective on things than the man who was supposed to marry him and is so irrationally jealous of Dan. In a way, Ryas's jealousy turned out to be well-founded -- not because there was anything romantic between Niall and Dan, but because Dan could understand Niall where he could not.

    And then, there's the immense Dr. Pocrates who comes up with the right advice at the right time. To me, a true sign of a great fic is when an OC in a supporting role is just as awesome as the protagonist, and I'll even go so far as to say that Dr. Pocrates steals the show. First, by showing to Niall that there *is* a choice (whose outcome, sadly, was very Celtic but made for a great read nevertheless) and then by giving him the right tips at the right time to join the Rebellion.

    Needless to say that I want to meet your Uncle Joe someday, but I'll be content with Dan Sr for now. Another extraordinary OC! It's not often that such a short appearance is so memorable -- he and Miep alike. I squeed out loud at the mention of Booster, and then I knew who to expect, and I wasn't disappointed!

    Which brings me to the one particular narrative bit that had me going ^:)^ ^:)^ ^:)^ , the one bit that was handled even more masterfully than the rest: the story of the bottles of wine. One for the Alderaanian shopkeeper, one for Dr. Pocrates, one for Mirax and one for Ryas -- one for kin, one for friendship, one for Niall's new life and one for his old life. It was heart-warming to see that Ryas finally got it, and Niall's letter to him was extremely touching, but if these two are to meet again, it's not going to be easy to put their common life back together.

    Amazing job, I hope there's a sequel soon!
     
  3. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    Twice through? [face_blush][face_blush] Now THAT is high praise!

    Alas, my great-Uncle Joe is holding down a booth at the Tavern Beyond. I'm hoping he's found some of his old Air Force buddies and has managed to avoid his older sisters, who were always trying to run his life. :D


    Well, I promised a sequel to Findswoman for her prize in the FanFiction awards... It's beginning to put itself together in my head (a few plot holes that I need to resolve), but there is another 'in progress' that I want to finish up first.

    So glad you liked this! It wasn't at all what I thought it would be when I started work on it, but that's the way it is, isn't it?