JCC Top Tips for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

Well ****.

 

Actually, Tunick's relationships with people working on the shipping lines of major grocers/retailers would probably make him more uniquely suited to survive than others. He knows people that could divert whole palettes of food to their private storehouses, making it far more viable to lock down and ride out the crisis.

 

Yes but in most cases, Wocky, that food could be deemed "perishable" in the biblical sense, rendering his Usefulness (as a unit) subject to diminishing returns over a time period of hours/days.

Wocky, are you saying you wouldn't resort to cannibalism or murder if required?

 

Some of it, yes? But what about oatmeal, or canned greened beans, or rice?

Also, yes of course I wouldn't murder or eat anyone? What would be the point. It would be so much better to lay down in honor than rise in shame.

 

But if you were murdering someone who was preying on the weak? Isn't that an act laden with honour?

 

No. Again, why would you murder someone? You could just, you know, stop them. Or protect the weak person.

 

Yes but that assumes the veneer of civilisation could be maintained. If a person was truly a villain, and the net cost to your soul was tiny relative to the lives you would save, would you not pull a proverbial trigger?

 

An impossibility for any post-Apocalyptic scenario. The only real benefit for me, given how quickly my demise would occur, would be the abolition of all indoor smoking restrictions.

 

What does that even mean? What moral calculus are you invoking to come out with that? What remotely plausible scenario would there even be where you have to murder someone, as opposed to just stopping them? You sound very much like some bunker-dwelling lunatic trying to justify their massive collection of assault weapons as necessary.

 

You are confronted by someone you know will kill. You have no practical way to incarcerate them. You have two choices; kill them or let them kill. What do you choose, jabs?

 

Reason with the zombie.

 

Just stay with the person he's trying to kill and intervene at the time of the attempt. Never mind how I would ever"know" this. More and more like a Tea Party fantasy.

 

be a mechanic

befriend harpua

 

If I didn't love you so much, I'd hate you for that... buttface.

 

I'd keep epic around for the jokes.

 

Zombies look really brittle. Would they float? I mean, what if they balled up like fire ants? Escaping to an island or in a boat wouldn't be foolproof. I lose sleep over these things. And why do the people on the Walking Dead not worry about getting zombie juice in their eyes? Like, they run up and stab them in the head and that **** splashes, right?

 

"I eat brains. Therefore I am."

 

prescient