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Before - Legends Trouble in the Jedi-temple Kessel run challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by earlybird-obi-wan , Jan 9, 2023.

  1. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Kessel Run Champion star 4 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Catching up here. Great work! Hessy is an interesting character. He's actively trying to stay away from the Dark Side, but he's also becoming friends with Dooku. On the surface that looks perfectly fine, but as readers we know that might not be the best thing for Hessy. Hopefully his budding friendship won't lead him astray. And nice mention there of the Pancake Incident and the firefighters' arrival. :)

    The action was well done, and it really evoked that sense of lightsabers whirring and flashing all around. Dooku has found a good sparring partner. I'll keep my fingers crossed that maybe Hessy will be a good influence on him and maybe postpone the inevitable a little bit. Great job!
     
  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Kessel Run Champion star 7 VIP - Game Winner

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    Aug 21, 2006
    Not at all but in the next part Dooku is becoming a Jedi-knight and is with padawan Jinn.
    He will but first he has a padawan to train
    More with Dooku and Jinn in the next set

    We will see what becomes of Hessy but first a padawan for Dooku in the set of double drabbles

    Week 5

    A padawan for Dooku

    Juggernaut
    Vlad Dooku was a Jedi-knight now. Master Cerulian had been the one to sever his padawan-braid. And he wanted to teach. He was the gifted swordsman. Only Master Yoda could beat him when he wasn't allowed to use the obstacles in the training salle. Fighting against his older opponent Hessy Teack had been fun. Hessy was like a juggernaut coming at him with his orange blade tinted with red.

    But becoming a Jedi-knight? Hessy had to wait. His Master Jaydi Dool didn't want him to take the trials yet.

    After his knighting ceremony Vlad Dooku had argued with Master Dool, Master Cerulian and even Master Yoda. The latter had answered 'ready you were young Dooku. Padawan Teack not. Fear he has. Fear leading to anger it can. Not fully in control he is.'

    Vlad had experienced this with Hessy.

    During the studies in the archives where Hessy had wanted to study holocrons and had been interested in the holocrons with the darker themes.

    His former friend Lorian Nod had stolen the Dark holocron and had accused him. Investigations by Master Yoda lead to Nod being cast out of the order.

    That event made him paranoid about the possibility of betrayal.



    Shepherd

    Vlad Dooku wanted to teach. Wandering through the training salles and the crèches he had seen the one he wanted as a padawan.

    He was Qui-Gon Jinn, a 10 year old boy having fun with his friends Benno Perion and Mees Widu.

    Jocasta Nu had even pointed him at those friends when he was enquiring about Jinn. 'They are archive disasters. Be careful what you wish Vlad.'

    But the duel of Jinn against the Noorian girl Tahl had him headed to Master Yoda. He had convinced the master that Jinn should become his padawan after his knighting.

    Dooku was now a Jedi-knight and sensed where Jinn and his friends were. A less desirable trait of Jinn was the love for animals. One animal found by Jinn had created a disaster in the archives before it and its offspring were relocated to a childrens zoo.

    Sure Jinn and friends were there at the childrens farm in the basement and what was Jinn doing? Being a shepherd for the sheep and guiding them back to their barn where a black cat was meowing.

    Cats. Vlad Dooku hated cats.

    Now Jinn was picking that cat up and stroking it softly “Blacky what's wrong?”



    Undertaker

    “Some milk I think.” Jedi gardener Alco Moronin had milked the nerfs and placed a bowl on the floor of the barn. “Ah young Dooku what brings you to the farm?”

    Surprised by the question Qui-Gon let go of Blacky.

    Meow.

    Vlad Dooku was able to avoid the cat who hurried to the bowl and turned to Jinn. “Can you follow me?”

    “Sure Jedi-knight Dooku.” Jinn followed the young Jedi-knight out of the barn.

    “Do you want to become my padawan learner? Master Yoda has already given his permission.”

    Qui-Gon looked up to Dooku. He had seen a face like that before when he was visiting the room leading to the hall of fire. The face belonged to one of the Jedi-masters – acting as the undertaker – preparing the body of Master Craddock – for the funeral ceremony. A sad face.
    Bret Craddock, the master of intelligence had been loved by all. Adventures shared by him were a great source of teaching and after that play in the crèche. Especially the one when he told about the narrow escape from an exploding planet with masters Thame Cerulian, Celeste Timmis and her padawan Tina Sheli.

    “I will.”
     
  3. Vek Talis

    Vek Talis Kessel Run Champion star 3 VIP - Game Winner

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    Oct 12, 2018
    Cue the Imperial Theme. What more needs to be said here? Dooku wants to teach. And what, pray tell, does he want to teach? :p

    Excellent drabbles about the indomitable Vlad Dooku. =D=
     
  4. pronker

    pronker Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2007
    Hmmmpf, Yoda always, always misses the fact that fear saves lives. Hessy may need to conquer fear, yet not eliminate it. I must have a long talk with Master Yoda.:oops:

    Tee hee, now I am picturing tribbles! Nice set of double drabbles here.
     
  5. amidalachick

    amidalachick Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

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    Aug 3, 2003
    I love this image, and that is definitely something Qui-Gon would do.

    Another great set! =D=
     
  6. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

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    Jul 11, 2014
    Oh dear. Dooku is so dooku-ish in these drabbles. He's barely been made a knight himself, and he already wants to have a word about who becomes a knight – I'd think it's lucky for Hessy that the remaining masters held him back. And when he chooses his padawan, it doesn't seem to matter to him one little bit that he's taking Qui-Gon away from something he enjoys, almost as if he's already decided that he's going to shape him in his image. Spooky!
     
  7. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Kessel Run Champion star 4 VIP - Game Winner

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    Dec 9, 2001
    I agree with Qui-Gon-- Dooku always seemed to have a sad face to me too.

    I feel bad for Qui-Gon since it looks like Dooku is more interested in Qui-Gon for his dueling ability than for who he is as a person and a Jedi. And I wonder if Dooku really wants to teach for the sake of passing on knowledge, or if he wants to exert influence over the thought processes of someone else. Good thing Qui-Gon has a stubborn streak in him. :p

    Great work!
     
  8. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Kessel Run Champion star 7 VIP - Game Winner

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    Aug 21, 2006
    He will teach, as seen in the next part
    Those animals are a pest for a certain woman.
    Jinn is a lover of animals as will be seen by his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Dooku will try
    Dooku is a stern master but who is that also? Find out in the next part where there are also hints for certain events happening in the final part of this run

    The angry archivist.

    Qui-Gon Jinn was in the great archives sitting at a desk in one of the study-cubicles and and trying to concentrate on what he was seeing. On the eve of his birthday – tomorrow he would turn 14 – Master Dooku had sent him to study the files on the Rakata and their influence on the history of the Jedi. That had been after an intense meditating session that had begun at 3 in the morning and had lasted the entire day. He was blinking with his eyes. Absently he was stroking his bandaged left wrist. A few days ago he had with his friend Marcho Rorima been to the garden of a thousand fountains climbing into a Boolin tree. Marcho had wanted to show his friends – Jinn one of them – that he had been fully recovered after an accident. A trapped Rockhound had been the beginning of a disaster for Jinn. The animal was trapped in a hole in the tree. He had saved it with a little bit of luck and a large bit of using the Force. Putting it in his tunics and patting the soft fur he managed to climb down. Almost. A metre from the soft grassy soil it happened. The rockhound escaped his grasp and he fell down hurting his left wrist. Marcho would tell his master that he would be late in the training salle because he had to bring an injured rockhound to the healers. Master Lawrin had treated him and he had met his master in the training salle, nothing serious. But now.

    Tip tap tip tap. Screech. The door to the study-cubicle opened.

    “What were you doing in the garden of a thousand fountains young Jinn?”

    Qui-Gon looked up to see Jocasta Nu – disapproval on her haughty face – standing there and tip tapping with her left foot on the floor.

    “A few days ago I saw a certain hideous creature hurrying away.” Nu with her black hair and hairbun with spiky decorations was quite a presence. “You were involved. I saw you falling and whispering something inaudible to your friend padawan Rorima. Something to hide Jinn? I can see you have been to the healers' ward. Injured yourself? Hmm?”

    Qui-Gon intimidated by the waterfall of angry words stuttered “I uh have been able to rescue a rockhound that was trapped in a hole in the Boolin tree.”

    “A rockhound, a pest. You of all creatures should know that they have to be exterminated from the entire grounds. Years ago you brought one of those pests to your crèche where it multiplied into six pests destroying my precious archives. I know. Master Yoda could help me to get rid of those six pieces of mayhem relocating them to a childrens farm and...”

    “It wasn't me who got this rockhound into the garden.” Qui-Gon was supporting his head with his right hand.

    “I know of course. And let's see. Rakata? Very interesting. I need to study those files again. Continue with your work Jinn and hurry. One hour and I will be back.” Jocasta Nu strode away leaving Jinn at his desk to get studying again.

    But Qui-Gon – intimidated by the angry words and feeling the intense tiredness of a whole day of meditation – bent down on the desk and felt his eyes closing.

    Zzzzzzz.

    Attacking. A hideous creature. Spiky decorations in her hair. A black robe. A gleaming black cilinder. Claws reaching for it. Igniting. A red blade. Another one. A boy. Blindfold before his eyes. Igniting. A red blade. Clashing with the other red blade. Twenty faces. Lost. We are lost. A tomb. A toy. A globule. Four crystals. Tombs. A disintegrating planet. Another one lost. A dark moon. A grey woman. A bun. Spiky decorations.

    Zzzzzz

    'Beep beep beep. Zzz file not in the archives.'

    Qui-Gon wiped his eyes. 'I must have fallen asleep. And that dream? Was it a vision? I won't tell my master about it.'

    Screech. The door to the study-cubicle opened.

    “Padawan. I can see that you are ready.”

    Qui-Gon fear showing in his eyes looked up to see Madame Jocasta Nu again.

    “I told you. I am back. Get going. Your master is waiting for you.”

    Qui-Gon stood up, slipped past the in his eyes angry archivist and hurried to the exit passing some of the statues of the lost Jedi where his master was waiting. Stiffling a jawn he bowed. “I have studied the Rakata history as requested.”

    “Follow me padawan. Dinner at Serinka's and after that rest. You must be tired.”
     
  9. Vek Talis

    Vek Talis Kessel Run Champion star 3 VIP - Game Winner

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    Oct 12, 2018
    Lolol. Yeah, I'll bet that nap wiped him out. :D

    Good job casting Nu as the baddie. With her bun, attacking padawans in dreams. Too much of a mental image. :D And a good one at that.
     
  10. pronker

    pronker Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2007
    What a ghastly day for Qui-Gon, Nu on the offensive and an arm injury ... *pets him* ...

    Truly an excellent response to the prompt. The waterfall of anger would tax anyone's Force strength.=((

    Welp, a teensy bit of care displayed here, at least. That was one awful prescient dream that the young man endured.
     
  11. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

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    Haha! It's true that there's something about Jocasta Nu's prim manner and her hair bun that makes her a terrifying figure for young padawans – especially when she gets cast in a Force-assisted dream.

    As a book lover, I have to agree with her however that rockhounds don't belong anywhere near the archives!
     
  12. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Kessel Run Champion star 7 VIP - Game Winner

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    Aug 21, 2006
    Nu sure is a baddie as you will see in the next part
    Nu can be scary with friends like Dooku and Jerec.
    Rockhounds are a pest for archives. That's right. And Nu is very protective and intimidating for a certain initiate in the next part.

    Week 7

    Dark meetings.

    'I can do this. Do or do not. There is no try. Master Yoda taught me this. Jumping down is easy.'

    Seven year old Obi-Wan Kenobi floated down from the opened grate of one of the crawlducts leading to the archives and landed silently.

    'Master Solma told us about a book he has read years ago. I want to find it. Master Nu is there. And there is her padawan Jerec. He scares me with his blindfold before his eyes. Master Solma told me that he is Miraluka. He is dark. He scares me. But I want that book to read. I will go to her.'

    “Eech. How did you end up here youngling uh...”

    “Kenobi. I floated down from that grate. Master Yoda taught me.”

    “You smell dirty Kenobi. And now there must be dirt in your precious archives my master.”

    “He sure is dirty and he collected some spider-webs. What do you want initiate?”

    “I uh.” Obi-Wan looked up impressed by the large woman with her intricate dress and hair with the spiky details. 'Jerec dark. Nu is now dark too.'

    “Yes...” Jocasta Nu bowed down.

    “I will go.” Obi-Wan backed down and hurried into one of the aisles, halting when he heard footsteps. 'Not Jerec or Nu. An assistant. He or she will help me.'

    Obi-Wan walked through the aisles and came to the main hall where he peeked around a statue. 'Nu again with Jerec. And a very impressive man with silver hair and dark fathomless eyes with a young girl. I will wait.'

    “Welcome master Dooku, padawan Vosa. May I help you in your search?”

    “We want this holocron to study master Nu.”

    “I see. Follow me. It is in the vault. Padawan Jerec, you can follow. It will be a teaching experience for you.”

    “And that youngling Kenobi?”

    “He must have left.”

    “Kenobi. He admires your former padawan Jinn.”

    “Jinn. I raised him but he always shows that independent nature and love for the living Force. No wonder he couldn't help when his padawan Xanatos abandoned the Jedi.”

    Obi-Wan backed down and halted at a grate. 'I want to know more about Qui-Gon Jinn. I will follow this crawlduct to the vault. I have been there with Reeft. Master Solma allows us to go to the crawlducts. He likes our stories about exploring. More spiders. Siri Tachi is afraid of spiderwebs. This is not fun for her. There. Reeft has marked the spot. Here I must turn left and down.'

    “EEEEEWWWWW.”

    “Who is that?”

    “Hey Shh-kir. Nice to see you. You caught me.”

    “What do you want young Obi-Wan?”

    Obi-Wan felt the strong hands settling him down gently and looked up to see the fierce Barkanian lizard giving him a toothy smile. 'He is nice. He will know where to find the book.' “I want a...”

    “Ah there you are Shh-kir. Awake this time and I see you caught that troublesome youngling Kenobi.” Pieweep.

    'Trouble for me.'

    Rian Solma.”

    “Madame Jocasta Nu in the archive vault. I have one of your younglings here. Come and get him as soon as possible. He is interfering with my work.”

    I will come but...”

    “Nu out. Now you Kenobi. Shh-kir can you keep him in your custody until crèchemaster Solma arrives?”

    “Sure madame Nu.”

    “Padawan, master Dooku, padawan Vosa, follow me.”

    “Now you Obi-Wan. You want a...”

    “A book master Shh-kir. Master Solma told us about a book.”

    “I know where to find it. Wait here Obi-Wan.”

    'He sure is big. Will he find my book?' Obi-Wan waited and heard a lift descending. Opening to reveal. “Master Solma. I wanted a book. I used the crawlducts to go to the archives. Master Shh-kir is getting it.”

    “I see Obi-Wan but it is late and dinner is waiting for you. Shh-kir, will you deliver that book to the crèche?”

    “Will do master Solma.”

    “And you, come with me.”

    'No Dooku. No more to know about master Jinn. He is always away. But the book will come.' Obi-Wan took the gentle hand from his crèchemaster. “Will you read the book with me.”

    “I will.”

    Obi-Wan smiled. 'Mission ended.'
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2023
  13. Vek Talis

    Vek Talis Kessel Run Champion star 3 VIP - Game Winner

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    Oct 12, 2018
    Cute look at young Obi-Wan. He's intrigued by Qui-Gon and loves crawling around in the dusty ducts. Poor Nu doesn't like all the dirt that dusty little initiate brings in.

    Fun story, @earlybird-obi-wan Excellent challenge response. =D=
     
  14. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

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    Hey if I were Jocasta Nu, I wouldn't be happy about kiddos coming into my archives through the crawlducts and bringing in all the spiderwebs and dust when, you know, there are perfectly good DOORS for that? But then, if I were a seven-year-old Obi-Wan, I'd find the crawlducts much more interesting, and with Jerec at her side Jocasta Nu would be outright terrifying! :p
     
  15. pronker

    pronker Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2007
    Aw, another look at almost baby!Obi-Wan!
    *shivers* I do not wish to know what is on the holocron. I'll bet it's Darker than Obi-Wan's clothing ... [face_shhh]

    Sweet image here.:obiwan:
     
  16. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Kessel Run Champion star 7 VIP - Game Winner

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    Aug 21, 2006
    Thank you. And sure Nu doesn't like Obi-Wan at all as shown when the knight visits her.
    Jerec became her padawan and we know what he turned up in the game Jediknight.
    Obi-Wan is sweet with his crèche master. And Nu has her dark side as revealed in her love for Dooku and taking Jerec as her padawan.

    The next part is an AU where no Vlad Dooku is born but something terrible happens to his father and grandfather because his mother betrays her husband and follows Darth Plagueis.

    Week 8

    Write an AU (alternate universe) story of at least 400 words where a character ends up in a committed romantic relationship with someone other than the person they ended up with in canon or in your existing AUs. That’s right, guys, it’s time to break up your OTP, or never let them get together in the first place. Whether or not the characters are happy about this turn of events is entirely up to you.

    Revenge of Shaurkoo

    Darrin, darrin, darrin, your son will become the most powerful darrin.
    Darrin, darrin, darrin you will best the aaquilin.
    From times immemorial the aaquilin has slain the darrin.
    Darrin, darrin, darrin you have to hunt the aaquilin
    Slay him
    Now the darrin will have his revenge
    .’

    Ann Dooku-Dynonin heard those words again in her mind when she turned to Darth Plagueis, her master and the one she loved. Her hands reached up. The Muun bowed down.

    “You should be with me.” Ren Dooku was crying when he saw his beloved Ann kissing Professor Palin. “You are my wife. We are married.”

    “I love him. Don't you see.” Ann Dooku looked briefly over her shoulder to see the tears on the face of her pathetic husband. “I always loved Darth Plagueis since I met him on Korriban. Yes Ren. His real name is Plagueis and he is a Sith-lord. He will make me powerful.”

    “I will make you the most powerfull Sith alive my apprentice.” Darth Plagueis murmured in her ear. “You are a worthy apprentice. You deceived the Jedi-healers. You destroyed that pesky padawan Kaagi Adin. You found the third crystal on Kreyfon.”

    “He isn't human. No babies Ann. You wanted many children. We have already chosen names. Renolfo for the first boy. Vlad for the second boy. Mora, Ylena for the girls. You told me that one of them could become the downfall of the Jedi-order, destroying them.”

    “No worries Ren. My master has the means to create life. He will find the right receptacle to carry the chosen one as predicted by the prophesies. He will be the doom of the Jedi-knights. The Sith will rule again.”

    “Your lightsaber shows your dedication to the Sith.”

    “Yes my master.”

    “Master Ann?” Rolff Dooku was raising his hands. “My estate will have no heir now that my son Ren cannot leave the house anymore after that disaster created by that globule and crystals.”

    “I found the globue when I was still one of the Jedi-healers helping you and you.” Ann Dynarsk nodded to her husband and his father before turning to the Muun. “You told me of my big future with you. You named me Darth Dynonychus after you helped me to get rid of my old persona. You created me. You sealed the fate of nurse Yanda and my superior, healer Raymone. You helped us to find the missing crystals and rocks. We all found one crystal.”

    “But with only three crystals the tetrahedron cannot be created.” Rolff Dooku muttered. “The map shows four crystals. We all suffered because we tried to bring the three crystals together with the globule.”

    “We will find the last crystal.” Darth Plagueis had a wicked smile on his face. “Korriban revealed the globule. There are Rakata tombs on Korriban that need to be explored. We will find it and test the tetrahedron on a planet steeped in the light side of the Force. It will reveal the ultimate weapon as designed by the Rakata lord Shaurkoo. We will rule the galaxy. Come Darth Dynonychus. We will take the box with the crystals and globule with us on our quest.”

    “And we.” Rolff Dooku pointed at his leg. “It hurts when I am seperated from the box.”

    “My hands will hurt.” Ren Dooku grumbled. “Don't do this my beloved. We are married.”

    “There is one way to end this.” Ann ignited her lightsaber.

    “Good my apprentice.” Darth Plagueis had his lightsaber out. “Now finish this and we can go.”

    With one swipe Ren's hands were severed by Ann.

    Ren began to cry and his father reached for the blaster hanging from his belt. To no avail.

    Before he could fire a shot the lightsaber of Darth Plagueis impaled him. And Ann severed Ren's head.

    “I will get the box.”Darth Plagueis headed to the cellar and was back with it when he saw Ann programming the self-destruct sequence.

    “I have to destroy the estate. That way the authorities will find no corpses.”

    “Good.” Darth Plagueis saw the red glow in Ann's eyes. She was becoming a worthy apprentice but he knew; betrayal is the way of the Sith. He would become her husband untill she had served in his purpose to find the fourth crystal. “Now up to our destiny.” He guided her towards his transport and entered.

    Ann stayed with the box. No pain was coursing through her. And she was smiling when the transport left and an explosion was heard in the distance.

    - - -

    Ann Dynonin stayed with her master until they found the fourth crystal.

    As a true Sith Darth Plagueis betrayed her when he started the joining of the crystals and globule in a cave on the planet Irellion.

    He hurried out of the cave after recording what was revealed by the Rakata warrior Shaurkoo and taking two vials with the essential ingredients to create new life. He left Ann behind to die in the explosion that destroyed the planet.

    He created new life.

    Palpatine was born and became his apprentice known as Darth Sidious.

    He created new life and followed the mother and child when they became the possession of Watto. He freed the boy Anakin Skywalker from slavery and was raising him like a son when Darth Sidious betrayed him.

    A fight between Darth Plagueis and Anakin Skywalker. Red lightsabers flashing. A wound, a terrible pain. Darth Plagueis crumbled down. He was dieing when he saw the boy kneeling before Darth Sidious and receiving his new name.

    “Darth Vader rise. We have a Death Star to build and exterminate the Jedi.”
     
    Mira_Jade , Kahara, DLR001 and 4 others like this.
  17. Vek Talis

    Vek Talis Kessel Run Champion star 3 VIP - Game Winner

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    Oct 12, 2018
    So Palpatine was a creation of Plagueis too? Insidious, that one. [face_skull]

    And poor Ann. So gullible. To think she would be the one to rise above her master's ashes.

    Great story. :) =D=
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2023
  18. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

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    Jul 11, 2014
    I love how you brought this full circle, starting with a 'verse where there won't be any Vlad Dooku and where his mother thinks she can go it alone, so to speak – but of course Sith treachery doesn't work that way, not for her, not for Darth Plagueis. Nicely done :)
     
  19. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Kessel Run Champion star 7 VIP - Game Winner

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    Aug 21, 2006
    Yes and Anakin was Dooku's half-brother in my EU canon that is continued with the piece of dramatic monologue of week 9
    Sith treachery is working for Dooku and his master Darth Sidious. But first he is meeting his father Ren at his death-bed. The piece is leading to the end-game in week 12

    Week 9

    Losses

    Ren Dooku, you are my father.

    You appointed me as the heir of the estate after my older brother Renolfo died.

    For 37 years you were a widower after your beloved wife Ann died.

    You found satisfaction in your garden with the beautiful roses. You are now very old, frail and about to die. I won't help you. I can see your last moment is near.

    Now I can tell you about my life as a Jedi-knight leaving the order and becoming the apprentice of Darth Sidious.

    Darth Sidious or Palpatine, he is the one who killed Darth Plagueis.

    Yes, I know that my mother was known as Darth Dynonychus, the apprentice of Darth Plagueis, the one who sought to create life. She gave me to the Jedi. At that moment I lost my older brother. Gentle Renolfo, always having fun, playing with me, his little baby-brother. At that moment I lost you, dear father. At that moment I lost the compassion, the light and embraced the dark.

    I became an initiate, a padawan with a great master Thame Cerulian. I passed the trials as a very young adult, barely 20 years of age and insisted on taking Qui-Gon Jinn as my padawan, convincing master Yoda.

    Jinn was quite headstrong, independent and loving the living Force, always caring for pathetic creatures and beings.

    I saw him taking Obi-Wan Kenobi as his third padawan after the boy was sent away to Bandomeer to serve the agricorps.

    I had Komari Vosa as my second padawan. She was unworthy to pass the trials and left the Jedi.

    I left the Jedi-order after Qui-Gon Jinn was slain by Darth Maul.

    I am now one of the lost twenty.

    Now I see your end is near. I will wait. I will respect your wishes. And I will begin to read the diary of my mother. Who was she before she embraced the dark? What is hidden in the vault?
     
  20. Vek Talis

    Vek Talis Kessel Run Champion star 3 VIP - Game Winner

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    Ooo, such animosity. Watching his father dying and not caring. Now I'm wondering what - or who -'s in the vault! [face_worried]
     
  21. pronker

    pronker Force Ghost star 4

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    Jan 28, 2007
    Such cruelty is delicious to watch! [face_skull]
    She's ;gone so far past the gentle pity of married creatures for each other and into considering them "pathetic" ...:eek:

    Now that's just creepy!

    =-=-=-
    Nicely done AU within an AU!

    Oh very good, best wishes on crafting a denouement.

    Yes, this is how I picture him - too "good" for the Jedi's way of life, or so they think ... :cool::emperor:
     
  22. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Kessel Run Champion star 4 VIP - Game Winner

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    Dec 9, 2001
    Catching up again, sorry about that.

    Week 6: I can completely understand how Qui-Gon would be intimidated by Jocasta Nu, especially when he's already sore from his fall, tired after a long meditation session, and getting scary dreams/visions on top of it all. Studying about the Rakata probably didn't help either. Jocasta seems to have a recurring interest in the Rakata if she wants to study the files "again," and I wonder what she's trying to find in the files.

    Week 7: Little Kenobi is adorable. :) And learning how to climb through ducts and crawlspaces will be a very useful skill for him later on as a Jedi. :p Poor kid just wants a book and he has to run a Dark Side gauntlet to get it, though if this puts him on the path to wanting to meet Qui-Gon, then thankfully it'll be a good thing for him in the long run.

    Week 8: Fascinating look at what could have been. Ann is pretty ruthless here with how she deals with her husband and father-in-law. And we hear more about the globule and crystals mentioned in Qui-Gon's vision in Week 6. [face_thinking] Plus we see how Ann's decision to go with Plagueis would even ripple out into consequences for Anakin in this version.

    Week 9: Very interesting monologue from Dooku. In a way, it felt a bit like a reverse deathbed confession, only with Dooku "confessing" to his dying father instead of the other way around. I'm curious what his father's wishes are that he's respecting-- is it to wait until his father died before reading his mother's diary? I wonder what he'll learn in the diary and what he'll do as a result.

    Great work all around! =D=
     
  23. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Like Thumper I thought that this was an interesting twist on the deathbed confession trope, because of course you expect the person who is dying to deliver the monologue. And Dooku is so relentless here in telling his father how he failed in every possible way. I too am curious as to what he'll find in the diary – after all, if his mother was connected to Darth Plagueis, he must consider himself Sith nobility and I'm sure that this will influence his relationship with Sidious.
     
  24. amidalachick

    amidalachick Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    Catching up on reading! These continue to be awesome. :)

    Week 6 & 7: I enjoy that Jocasta is the antagonist. She was so stern and intimidating in AotC, I can definitely see how a child would view her as a villain!

    Aww, poor Qui-Gon! But good for him rescuing the rockhound. [face_love]

    So sweet! [face_love]

    Weeks 8 & 9 were much darker, but fascinating to read. I, too, am interested to see what Dooku finds in the diary and the vault! Fantastic work. =D=
     
  25. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Kessel Run Champion star 7 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Dooku sure is a moron and the vault will come after part 10
    Dooku had a family that was leading inevitably to the dark side.
    Count Dooku was dark but his mother even more
    Jocasta has her dark things too, getting Jerec as her padawan and liking Dooku.
    Jinn is good at rescuing pathetic creatures
    And week 8 and 9 are leading up to 10 and the endgame
     
    UltramassiveUbersue likes this.