What if's of Star Wars...

...LUKE: "Auto pilot you say?", "That's a good idea Artoo, wake me up when we get to Dagobah."...HAN SOLO: "Ten thousand, all in advance" BEN KENOBI: "Ten thousand!!??", "You're out of your friggin' mind!", "C'mon Luke, we'll take Amtrack"...THE EMPEROR: "I told you to remain on the command ship" VADER: "Oh right, I forgot...see you after the battle"...STORMTROOPER: "The door's locked?", "We're the bad guys for christ's sake, blast it open!"

 

Deck Officer - Your Tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first marker.

Han Solo - Yeah, your probably right. I'll just stay here and help Chewie work on the Falcon.

 

Leia: We have to go back for Luke.

Lando:Nah hes not back there.

Meanwhile, rod breaks, Luke falls to his doom.

 

Qui-Gon on Tatooine- "We'll try one of the larger dealers. They always have everything!"

-----

Panaka- "This is a dangerous situation, Your Highness."

Amidala- "OK. I get the hint. Screw this peaceful stuff..... Wipe them out. All of them."

 

Wedge - Look at the size of that thing.

Red Leader - You're right. All wings, let's go back to base, this thing is just to big.

 

(after Naboo Royal Starship Hyperdrive core breaks down)

Obi-Wan:there's a remote planet called Tatooine (blablabla)

Qui-Gon:screw it, lets go to the next planet.

 

At Kamino:

Taun We: Boba, is your father home?

Boba: Nope.

 

Jar Jar: Desa nobody there!

Qui Gon: Do you think they've been wiped out?

Jar Jar: Yeah, probably. Let's go. Mesa no wanten to get shotten by da Mackineks.

 

Luke: But they're gonna kill her!

Han: Better her than me.

Luke: Yeah, good point.



Dr. Evazan: He doesn't like you.

Luke: Sorry.

Dr. Evazan: I don't like you either.

Luke: I like you, lets be freinds.

Ben: Luke I found a ship

Luke: Screw you old coot, I'm hangin with these guys now!

Dr. Evazan: Word up!




Luke: It's you Leia, you're my sister

Leia: OH MY GOD! I KISSED YOU!!!!! (starts brushing teeth)

 

In the garbagemasher -

Luke (to comlink) - 3PO, 3PO... Where can he be.

R2 - Bleeep blip bleoe

3PO - Use the comlink? Oh I forgot I turned it off... let's keep it that way...

 

(On the Royal Naboo Starship)

*First R2 Unit gets blown aways, then second, then third*

R2: Blip Whoop Bilp *BOOM*

R2 gets blown away and the ship never escapes the Nemodian Droid Ships.

 

HAN: You're all clear kid, now let's blow this thing so we can go home!

LUKE: Crap! I missed! Damn this targeting computer!!

 

Deckofficer: TK-241! TK-421 why are you not at your post?

TK-421 bangs his helmet.

Deckofficer: Right, we've got a bad transmitter. We'll have to dispose TK-421.

 

Star Wars Saga Begins:

CAPTAIN : With all due respect for the Trade Federation, the Ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately.
NUTE : No.

End of Star Wars Saga.

 

Have you guys read cal_silverstar's Vader/Tarkin exchange! It's hilarious!!!

 

Where can I find it?



Dr Evazan - He doesn't like you.

Luke - Sorry!

Dr Evazan - I don't like you either.

Luke - I'll be careful.

Dr Evazan - You'll be dead.

Dr Evazan shoots Luke dead.

Ben - This little one isn't worth the... Crap, my timing isn't what it used to be... Oh well... Now, let me buy you something.

 

LOL


Han: Wha--? Hey! Point that thing someplace
else.

Han pushes the spear wielded by Teebo out of his face and a second Ewok warrior comes up to argue with Teebo. The spear returns to Han's face. He grabs it angrily and starts to go for his blaster pistol.

Han: Hey!

Luke: Han, don't. It'll be all right.

Han: NOO!!!

Han shoots down several ewoks and the ewoks and the rebels are forever enemies.

 

Luke throws grappling hook; Leia kisses him they jump and the hook slips.

 

3PO: The chances of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3720 to one!

HAN: 3720 to one? We're screwed. Imperial fleet, this is Captain Solo. We're cutting engines, you can tractor us in.

 

As the Millenium Falcon exits hyperspace and enters the space of what used to be the Aalderaan...

Han - ASTROIDS????

*Crasch*

 

LOL

Tarkin: Where is the Rebel base?
Leia: Dantooine.
Tarkin: There. You see Lord Vader, she can be reasonable. We will now demonstrate the Death Star's firepower on a planet. Which will it be? Hmmmm....Ah, Yavin IV! What's on that planet, Vader?
Vader: Nothing of importance...
Tarkin: Good! Continue with the operation. You may fire when ready.

 

Anakin has just crashlanded inside the droidcontrolship and is working to get the shields back up. He jerks some levers and pushes some buttons randomly as he always do when things isn't working. After a short while he manages to get the ship up in the air and flies straight into the wall of the hangar. *kaboooom*

//Roll Credits

 

Qui-Gon: I have saved Jar Jar Binks' life. He owes me what you call a "life.debt."
Boss nass: Doesn't matter. Pound him to death immediately!

Jar-jar dies and there is much rejoicing.

 

LOL.
OK that was a bit of a Sithly moment for me.... I suppose I should feel sorry for Jar Jar... but..... ROFL! Bwa ha ha!

 

What if Jay and Silent Bob had a cameo in Ep. III?