Why are guys afraid to talk to pretty girls?

yeah, what about those here who are "really really good looking?"

 

I want a star wars chick and there are none on my campus.....

 

As said above, as far as why, I think it comes down to some kind of fear of rejection or making a fool of onesself. Obviously we're not going to get them to hop into bed with one line, but even when just trying to talk to them normally, what happens matters SO MUCH on a certain level, that it causes a rather high level of anxiety and nervousness.

Part of the problem is that when we just see them as pretty girls, without knowing anything else about them, we're just seeing them as objects, as faces/bodies, in a sense. It helps a great deal to get past that and start seeing them as people too, with hearts and minds and bodies.


One strategy that helps in talking is to start off with something that you know is common experience, such as a class you have together, or a class you're both taking but at different times. Work, if she is a coworker, affords more such possibilities than I can name.

Another thing that's important is to just do it. Even if you don't know what to say and/or don't think she'll like you, just start talking to her in an everday way. Sooner or later, it'll become more normal and ordinary and you'll get more used to it, and less nervous. You might not get into her pants (or her heart), but you'll get experience talking to attractive women and gain confidence with other women that you meet.

And don't try so hard. Most of the time we're conversing socially, we don't think real hard about what we'll say. We just say what's on our mind or what we have to say to this particular person. The trick is to let down your guard and extend that to people you don't know, even including attractive members of your preferred sex.

 

I just realised what's been going wrong for me.

I realised I can talk to pretty girls MY age, but... go a year older, and I can't bare.

Look, I don't know what's this age rule "the male must be older" all about. They say true love (and hence the pretty underline to emphasize it) knows no age. So why is there this barrier that younger guys can't be having any relationships with older girls?

And I'm not talking 20 year differences. Just one year, let's say.

 

Umm... not sure about that. I have more difficult talking to girls my age or younger. The younger ones especially, I'm not sure what exactly to talk about, and if they're from certain wrong cultural backgrounds or have certain opinions of themselves, they're more likely to blow me off at that age. Older than me, is not as hard. They're generally more mature, responsible, and experienced, and I seem to have more in common with them.

 

Actually, I'd imagine I would have stronger connections or simmilarities with the older girls. The problem here is: THEY might not think that right off the bat.

I don't know. At my age, its hard not to be attracted to the older womenfolk. In fact, I don't find any girls my age attractive .

I just need to find a way to get around that age rule, and intrigue the femalefolk.

 

Older women are easier to talk to and more easy to connect with in my expierence.

 

But what if you are, like me, a veritable Adonis and are rated at a 20? What is your league then?

First. It's 1 to 10. If you can't follow the rules then it doesn't matter.

yeah, what about those here who are "really really good looking?"

Right here. At least judging by the amount of girls who flirt with me and stare at my butt. (And no I didn't sit in anything before they do it)

In all honesty I am at least a 7 or an 8. This is going on facts above.

 

Not afraid.
Pretty girls = snotty girls.
Not worth my time.

 

You sir, have no idea what you're talking about.

 

Pretty girls = snotty girls.

Unfortunately, that's true too often.

 

Right here. At least judging by the amount of girls who flirt with me and stare at my butt. (And no I didn't sit in anything before they do it)

Quantity is part of it--- but are those girls hot or ugly?

 

I haven't seen a pretty girl in months.

 

...are you from Iowa?

...

DO YOU KNOW BOB?!

 

I'm not afraid to talk to pretty girls, I'm just busy over here... by the wall... doing... stuff.

....

I'm gonna go home now.

Seriously though we're most all introverts* here right? how many of us go out of our way to start conversations with strangers, attractive and female or otherwise?

I mean I certainly rarely go out of my way to communicate verbally, lack of practice makes it near impossible even when I'd like to.


*read: cowards.

 

I go out of my way to talk to women. When I've got the guts, whether they manifest naturally or come out of a bottle.

I'm just not terribly lucky. I can start a conversation easily enough, and most women don't seem to mind talking to me at first. Somehow I just wind up losing their interest if I happen to be particularly interested in them.





EDIT: I suppose "coward" fits in there somewhere.....

 

Rejection is part of the game, methinks.

The key is to not take it personally. Even the most successful playboys get the rejection every once in a while.

If you get a success rate of 30% or so, then that's pretty good. That means 3 out of 10 women. That also means that you have to talk to 10 women.

It's better than 0/10 if you don't ever initiate anything!

 

There is a vast male majority in this thread. I shall have to post to balance things somewhat.

I don't know if I rate as a "pretty girl" or not, but personally I love it when guys talk to me first. It shows confidence and a lot of people think confidence is a turn-on. If they don't talk to me first, then I will generally talk to them and try to start a conversation. You have nothing to lose, right?

 

My problem, before I married a pretty girl, was that I just felt that the extremely hot women were just out of my league. I felt like I was too much of a normal kid from Idaho to actually compete with the more athletic and charmingly witty guys. I felt like my trying to date a pretty girl was just something I couldn't ever do and then maintain the relationship. I would feel like I had to look over my shoulder to see if the "cooler" guy was trying to encroach on my time or my relationship with the girl. That led me to just not even bother trying to hit on or even just chat up a pretty girl. I'd let them come to me because I never felt like the juvenile competition was worth it for a guy like me.

 

Seriously though we're most all introverts* here right? how many of us go out of our way to start conversations with strangers, attractive and female or otherwise?

you know, i have taken it for granted that people were as outgoing in real life as they were online....that was kind of a let down, lol! i'm just as talkative & crazy in RL as I am online (ok, maybe online affords more taunting levels, but anyway...). meeting up with my fanforce group for the first few times was kind of a shock--they were all so funny online, but had a hard time even talking in person. anyway, i just find it amusing that people can be so different from one arena to the next, when most of the time i'm just being me.


anyway, someone asked why the guys were expected to talk first...i think that the thread is just bent mroe towards that discussion. i know i don't assume that. i go up & talk to whomever i want when i want. I think it's awesome when a guy talks to me first--i guess you could say it's "stimulating". but if i see a guy hesitating and i want to talk to him, i'll say something to him. it's no biggy.

 

I don't care how someone looks, its all about what she's like on the inside!

 

I don't know if I rate as a "pretty girl" or not

You rate as that to me.

 

Hah! No one has ever said "she's got an attractive set of kidneys"

hmmm Maybe a doctor.

More accurately, in general terms uys don't require women to be jaw droppingly gorgeous. We do howeve rhave personal standards of physical attraction that you either meet or don't meet. I think there are veyr veyr few people in this world who are going to say "You have such a beautiful personality, here put this bag over your head".

That's not to say some(many?) guys wouldn't put up with a stone cold bitch if she was hot enough to stop cars at 50 paces.

Really it's all rather a personal decision.

Anyways though.

You don't know if you're a pretty girl or not? That doens't matter what matters is if you're attractive or not, and that's much more personal.

Of course I also tell me girlfriend shes insanely beautiful, but I think she is so screw the rest of your opinions on the matter.

Besides it sounds better then "I personally find you attractive however others may not".

 

I don't know if I rate as a "pretty girl" or not

You rate as that to me.

I'll second that.