Saga Working In Darkness - Chapter 14 - Diplomatic Interruptions

Rebelmom - Thanks so much for the reply! I'm glad you're reading and liking it And never worry about missing posts on this thread - I'm the biggest culprit of all, and its my own thread, hehe. Your comments are greatly appreciated!


Face - Thanks alot for the repeat business, Face!

Yes, the title fits! So very often they're just token words, this time they were appropriate words. Hoorah

And ha, yeah! The Farghul are a funny kind of people. I kind of made up all that stuff about the world of perpetual darkness cause it was thematically consistent and represents kind of the low point of the story at the moment, but it only makes sense that a whole bunch of cats wouldn't want bright lights all around them. By the same token, there are probably no swimming pools or baths on Farrfin either

And thanks for the comments re: Leia being in character. She's not going to be a heavy feature in the story, but she's gotta be there to throw her political weight around a little

Ha, and yes, Lorns head is quite large. I'm glad the meeting went over well. This will kind of begin a rivalry between Lorn and Acheron that I'm going to try and bring out over the course of the story. But of course, you'll find that out in due course!

Thanks again for the comments Face. The setup for the second crashdown (after the first one in chapters 10 & 11) is in full swing, you're right. I hope the story lives up to expectations


Next chapter is underway and is entitled very simply Pussk. Wow, alot of my chapters are named after characters. Actually, this is the last one. Phew

 

Leia? Cool. I wonder if there's room for just one more Corellian to pop up in this fic...

The cat people provide just enough interesting backdrop for this section without making me think "Hey, what about the cat people?" Which would be distracting. Yep.

It'll be neat to see the siblings (though they don't know, of course) come into the Andasala story.

I like the Lorn/Acheron meeting. Veiled threats and arrogance all around.

"Mr. Lorn, I will make this simple," he said. "The Galactic Empire, and the Imperial Navy, do not contract their military operations to criminals. Especially not for 'the right price', as you put it."
A familiar attitude. "We don't need that scum..."

Oh, all the dominos are going up in a quite entertaining manner. It'll be fun to watch them fall.

 

Pussk, eh? That should be an interesting meeting. I know you've had crossover things to do, but when can we expect it?

 

Liked that hearing Luke?s voice cheered Leia up even if she didn?t know why.

I wonder if Lord Vader ever fails to learn of things or only learns of them late because people are more reluctant to speak to him than General Acheron is. Not surprised that Lord Vader is not impressed by the name Valis Lorn.

Liked how Luke suddenly realised everything, he only needed the clue of the Executor being Lord Vader?s ship to put it all together and realise just how bad the situation was. Also liked how while Luke was still wrestling with his guilt Leia was already acting. Glad that Leia is going to help.

Interesting description of Valis Lorn, checking back a few pages he was described as ?a stately looking man? so it seems rather likely that Lorn either sent a disposable minion to the meeting or deliberately made himself seem less impressive by reddening his face and putting on distasteful jewellery (beard would be more difficult to change, which would be why it was still well-trimmed).
Either way the competence of General Acheron would be called back into question.

Does seem like a rather unbalanced deal Valis Lorn (if that was he) was offering, lose a planet in return for a few Rebels. Again though it could be an attempt to ensure the Empire would continue to underestimate him rather than a genuine negotiation.

 

Since something comes up every time I try to sit down and get caught up in one fell swoop, I figured I'd try getting caught up piecemeal. I'll either edit this post or post follow-ons as I go, depending on the situation.

Installment #1: waaaaay back with "Stranded" pt. 2/2

Great imagery with "The Grand Inn" (and I got a kick out of "e Gran"). Nice little weapons collection there. I guess Craft believes in being prepared.


Craft snapped the carbine together and loaded a cartridge inside. "It's less familiar than you might think."

That line made Craft even more intriguing. It sounds like his "no fixed address" past didn't exactly parallel Clip's.

I think this was already brought up by others here, but the part about Acheron reading emotions in Vader's breathing was neat. Vader could easily be a GFFA psychology student's thesis.

Poor Rebs. I felt really bad for the Infelicitous crew. Good tactic by Vader to use the word-association-type approach to catch reflexive memories of Luke from the girl (there's that psychology tie-in again ). The reactions of the other Rebels to her fate were nicely done. In fact, everything from their immediate angry defiance at what Vader did to her all the way to their utter helplessness at hearing their own fates was wonderfully written. Did I mention that I felt really bad for them?

And Wedge doesn't have it much easier.

Life became something of an enigmatic measuring-stick as to their progress - the more of them that were left alive to be rescued, the better they were doing.

That's a really interesting way of looking at it.


He finally found his voice when, with a pang of anxiety, he remembered that he was the acting commander.

The joys of command, huh, Wedge?

More feedback installments will be coming soon!

-Thumper

 

More feedback for ya, this time on "Diplomatic Interruptions."

The Farghul sounded cool, and it was neat to see a difference in their culture (compared to most other humanoids) due to their good eyesight in the dark. Good detail there.

Leia being so attuned to her comlink that it seemed to be directly linked to her was also neat. Just think of how much more efficient it would be if people in the GFFA could implant a transceiver into their brains to patch to their comlinks--the ultimate "hands free" device. I bet Lobot can do that.


Try and convince them that they should be one of the few [governments] that refuses them those resources.

Interesting way of looking at galactic thinking in the post-Yavin timeframe. Makes perfect sense, and it also illustrates how hard it would be for the Rebellion to find a lot of large-scale support.

And melodrama DID seem perfect for the circumstances and things Luke was describing.


Would anyone be alive for Luke to rescue, after he had so gallantly and nobly abandoned them and fled?

wooo, nothing like a good old-fashioned guilt trip. It's good to see Luke is still down-to-"earth" enough to beat himself up over something he couldn't have known, and even though everyone had agreed that he should go.


I am not going to beat my head against a duracrete wall while our soldiers need help.

That's one of the things I always liked about Leia--even though she's a princess, she's not afraid to get down in the trenches. She cares about the people she's fighting alongside.

I guess we'll see what happens with the Independence--hopefully they can help somehow.

And then the meeting between Acheron and Lorn...very interesting...the line about a Hutt wearing make-up provided a great mental image.


"And it's also no secret that you are in the process of hunting down and killing the survivors of your little ambush in the industrial district earlier tonight," Lorn added. Acheron's eyes narrowed. As far as he was aware that was, in fact, still a secret.

Hmm...maybe if Acheron knows Lorn has enough connections to know this type of information (even though it was Car'Das that told him), it will make Acheron think Lorn is actually pretty powerful locally. Not sure if that would be good or bad for Lorn, though.

And so Point Three of the Five-Step Plan to Taking Over the World has been attempted. I wonder how Acheron's refusal to participate right now is going to affect the plan?

Anyway, looking forward to more, as always, MJS.

-Thumper

 

**Throughout this post, please listen to the song "If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago...**

Well, hello to everybody that may stumble across this little update. Yes, it's really me...that message board houdini you know as Mjs. I've resurfaced after a long absence to make some apologies and then some excuses, and then some promises and then beat a hasty retreat again. But rest assured it's only a temporary retreat!

This is more or less the lowdown - real life has become hectic just lately. It's almost funny how many things all happened at once, except they're all such important things that I have to take them seriously (dammit, why must it be so!). I've got a new job, a new house, taken an interest in music all of a sudden, stepped up university studies to full time...in other words, I've bitten off more than I can chew

So! The good news is that something will inevitably slow down soon and I'll have a chance to get back to the important stuff, which is of course WiD - and catching up on all of the stories that I've missed!

Okay, so turn off that corny Chicago song now and go about your dailies. Apologies it's taken this long to explain myself. I'm a bad, bad man I'll see you all soon and have a swag of new ideas and interests. It'll be grand.

Till then!

 

Hey there, mjs! I hope DRL has been kinder to you than it has been to me. Luckily, it's finally let up for a bit, so I figured it was high time for a review of chapter 14.

Oh, first, a word about the last part of chapter 13: I love the description - of "The Grand Inn", of Craft's weapons cache. And I really enjoyed the glimpse into Craft's character in a way not quite seen before. Oh, and the Vader part was great, too.

The whole thing was great, who am I kidding? [insert entire post quoted here] was my favorite part.

Now, chapter 14:

Leia! That's a good thing, seeing Leia in an mjs story. Well, good for us, and probably not so good for her.

Oh! Valis Lorn! The five steps to taking over the world thing. Good to see that plotline re-emerge.

I liked the conversations between Luke and Leia. Funny that Luke thinks Vader knew he was there because of the Benelex Guild, when Vader probably felt him there. 'Course, there's no way for him to know that.

"The Farghul will receive notification of my emergency departure and most likely declare a public holiday in honour of it. I am not going to beat my head against a duracrete wall while our soldiers need help."

*cheers* Yay for Leia!

In that sense, the Rebel Alliance was a much more worthy enemy. They had courage of their convictions. They were an enemy that commanded respect.

Lorn was neither an enemy nor deserving of respect. He was inconsequential.

Very interesting pair of observations by our friendly little Imp. It's kinda cool to see an Imp respecting the Rebels - I doubt most would've - and it amuses me to see him underestimate Lorn, who I know is going to be much more of a nuisance than he anticpates.

Great update, and keep up the outstanding work!

(And in honor of this amazing occasion - me actually reviewing - I updated Nameless. It made Face go "squee!!!", but I think that's just because I updated for the first time in 5 months, not because of what actually happened in the post. Anyway, check it out when DRL lets you. )

 

Guilty as charged. [face_shame]



Still ready to read more, but we have to remember that there's also another chapter of the crossover for him to do and then I'll finish it out. So, there is good stuff with these OCs coming, in one way or another.

That's what I tell myself at night anyway. *sobs into pillow*

 

Booyaka!

Check out my signature, folks, my collaboration with Mjs has begun. See Craft, Eva, a couple of my own OCs, and some surprises in the explosive and funny action/adventure For Hire.

It's like having more WiD, except different!

 

Just past the prologue, and wow! What an amazing story so far. You've set up a great conflict between the Empire and the Rebels, and yet I foresee a lot of OC action - I've heard good things about this story.

The Emperor spoke into the silence. "I do not blame you for what happened, Lord Vader.? His voice was gentle, almost impossibly so ? and yet behind it was the signature of dark hatred. He was as though a parent speaking to a dishonourable son.

Loved that! It's so in tune with Palpatine in ROTS, though judging from the date it was written, that might not have been on your mind? If not, it's good foresight.

Can't wait to dive into the rest!

 

Chapter 1:

Wow! This story flows like a novel. Finally got to meet Clip, too, after hearing so much about him. I really like how you fit him seamlessly into the films, and I can't imagine how much losing his ship must suck. It had such a cool name, too.

That line about prefering freelancing to steady employment - to me, that's one of the defining factors of Clip's life, and I imagine it affects not just what jobs he takes, but how he lives in between jobs.

 

Chapter 2, first half (they're really long! ):

There were so many lines that cracked me up, but this had to be the best one:

?Or ?Rogue Squadron ? Kiss our afterburners?.?

Classic!

Reading your dogfights, even the sims, is like playing a video game (never mind that I'm terrible at them!). It's that real to me. The pre-fight banter was spot-on, and I loved seeing how the original Rogue gang got together.

 

Hey! Replies to my not-so-often updated story!

Thanks very much for taking the time to read it, Jadesolo - Its always a massive task to undertake to get involved in an epic after it's already begun. You're doing a great job at it! hehe


Loved that! It's so in tune with Palpatine in ROTS, though judging from the date it was written, that might not have been on your mind? If not, it's good foresight.

Ah, I dont think I can claim credit for this part - if it were in the italicised text, that was lifted from Brendon Wahlberg's Dark Emperor. All with his permission of course But I agree with you - he did a good job on the characterisation!


Wow! This story flows like a novel. Finally got to meet Clip, too, after hearing so much about him.

Aw shucks - you're too kind to me! Haha, and glad that you got to see what all the fuss was about with this Clip fellow. Not much of a hero, but he's got a quality that makes me like him. That's why he gets his own series

Heheh, yeah they are pretty long chapters, these. I started this a long time ago, and didn't quite get the concept of editing back then. I do like to read myself go on sometimes It's coming more into line with a one-sitting readable length as the story progresses. Though for all the length of chapters early on, alot of it is plot and character development that would otherwise be cut. It's like the extended-directors-cut edition of the story

And thanks so much for the compliment on the dogfights! I was worried about doing them, but not nearly as frightened as I was to have a go at inter-squadron banter. Glad you thought I pulled it off, hehe.

Like I said, thanks so much for launching into this well after it began - By about the time you're caught up I may just have an update for it Well, a man can dream, can't he.

Until next time!
Mjs

 

Rest of Chapter 2 :

Most important of all, his control board was mapped out exactly as he liked it ? arranged so that his natural body movement would carry him to the desired system in the least amount of time.

I loved the details of Wedge's cockpit being "personalized." It's not something you think about, but it makes perfect sense.

And poor Noosa, locked up.

 

"No guaranteed money, but all guaranteed fun!"

JadeSolo, by your sig I see you watched the "Pysch" pilot. Awesome.

Incidentally, does anyone know how long it takes for a thread to be locked?

 

Mjs, congratulations on the September Story of the Month for "For Hire"! For for? Anyway,