Saga Working In Darkness - Chapter 14 - Diplomatic Interruptions

Thankyou so much for your continual readership, all!

JM: I'm trying to build Acheron up to be a cooler customer than my previous Imperial officers. And pretty soon i'm sure there'll be a chapter in which Vader does not exercise his force choke ability ! I think it was his fault about the dossier too - but he's never been one to accept fault, really

The Eva/Clip dynamic is (I think) what the core of the story is about, and it will develop as the fic goes on. Hopefully into something that you'll like! Thanks for reading again!

VaderLVR64: Always great to see you in this thread, Vader! Thanks so much for the compliment - and please, take as much time as you need to catch up! I've only just checked my word count, and it seems that after 7 chapters we've topped 63,000 words. Perhaps i'll look up the word 'editing' before i attempt the next story

Thumper!: Great to see you again! Thanks alot for the compliment - I am heading over to your website to check out the updated Corona Squadron fics ASAP!

Thanks so much for reading everyone! You make it all worthwhile

 

First off, good chapter, mjs. More classic Vader vs. the subordinates (sounds like a band name), as I noted in my reply to the preview.

Now let me see if I have this much correct:

The Empire was controlling the Benelex Guild (sort of, more manipulating via Kasserheul), unbeknownst to their supposed ?allies,? the Rebellion. The Empire was supposed to slip them the bounty for Luke and have them organize a meeting. Then, they would kill Luke when he arrived.

But, a couple punks (moment of silence ) messed it all up by broadcasting the bounty ? thus alerting the Rebels to the trap and scaring Luke away?

Right?

And what Car?Das is trying to do is still a mystery? even to Clip and Eva! Speaking of which, I?m happy to see them working together on finding the Alliance. Maybe they can work out their issues and until then, we can enjoy some banter and verbal jabs.

Interesting ? this new character must be important to have the whole chapter named after him. I look forward to it.

Again, a good update.

 

Thanks for the reply, Face!

And your summary was dead right - The benelex guild is acting as a double agent, pretending to be an ally of the Rebellion and taking their orders from the Empire. The Empire let slip (thanks to the aforementioned punks ) that they were after Skywalker, and so he took off to alert Leia of the situation and maybe stir up some fleet support to extract the rest of the Rebels.

And in the next chapter, I promise alot of explanatory exposition so that you'll know exactly what Car'Das wants with Andasala - and the Rebels

Thanks for the comments! If I say i'll try and get the next chapter up faster, will it make any difference you think?

Until next post!

 

This is incredible. I don't even like Saga stories much, I usually keep to the Beyond forum. But I was bored and browsing through something of a "really long stories" index and saw the name Talon Karrde and figured I'd give it a shot.

And holy cow. This has so much more maturity than, sadly, what I'm used to finding on the boards here. You've captured so much depth, so much detail, so much emotion . . . seriously, during one of the Vader segments I thought I heard his signature evil-breathing. All questions of my sanity aside, I mean that as a compliment.

Of course, being the typically smart person I am, I only realized halfway through the story that this was a sequel. Guess I have some more reading to do, eh?

 

My gosh, thanks so much for your comments, talkingbanana! I'm so happy i've managed to entertain you, even if it isnt your usual era

I know floating fortress is around somewhere on the boards, but I suspect it was locked a little while ago. Thanks so much for your comments - you really made my morning!

 

Hey, nice building-up of the story. Looks like just about everything is in place for some good times. Good times for the readers, anyhow.

By the way, happy New Year!

 

(Psst...quick question...is the link to the cover art in the first post still correct? When I click on it, all I get is a blank page.

Of course, no one's ever accused me of being a computer genius, either.)

 

Forcefire: Happy New Year to you, too! May 2005 be at least as good as '04

Everything is almost in place, you're right! In fact, chapters 10 & 11 are the centrepiece action chapters for the entire first act of the story. Only two more slow ones to sit through, and I promise I'll try and make them interesting

Thanks for reading!

Thumper: Ah, you raise an interesting point. The cover art page is intentionally blank due to some (unintentional on my part) copyright issues involving some background images. But never fear! I shall design some brand new cover art and have even begun sketching some scenes that I can link to from the text as soon as I can get them scanned and uploaded, I'll update the links. Thanks for reminding me that the first page was still promising cover art!

 

Hey, I finished the prequel! *cheers for self*

I love how the two stories are so connected but so different at the same time. The pacing on the prequel is entirely different, faster and more action-packed; here it's "slower" (relative only to the prequel) and more contmemplative. Both work so well, separate and together alike. It's great.

And I understand the sequel better now. Imagine that.

So let's see an update!

 

Ah, sorry I didn't see your post Talkingbanana!

I'm very glad you read and liked the prequel - though I believe it is locked, i'm still glad you were able to find it! The two stories are very different to each other, its true. Floating Fortress was much more a character building exercise for me, I think. I had this OC called Clip Argentsson and I wanted to develop him, so I put him in a rough situation, and behold, an action story is born

And now, only ten days after you ask, I have an update ready. That's got to be some kind of record! Only 22 days since I completed chapter seven! I'm on fire

Anyway, here it is, Chapter Eight. A very talky chapter and I must say probably the least enjoyable to write so far - which is probably why it's much shorter than most of my other chapters. But I'm reasonably happy with the end result, so let me know what you think!


8. Valis Lorn



::::THE ANDASALA PRECEPTOR::::
(Courtesy of Andasala Achievement News)

Brothers and Sisters, Andasala is under attack.

All you need do is look around to see the ravages of this attack. Stormtroopers walk our streets as though they are welcome. Criminals and fugitives flock to our lands to conduct their sordid business. Agents of a Galactic Empire are controlling our lives like so many pieces on a Dejarik board. And worse than that, the government that once swore to protect us sits idle, a pawn of the New Order.

Andasala is under attack from within.

Forced on us without our consent comes the Empire's New Order - an Order that decrees humans a superior race to be served by all others. So deep seeded has this sentiment become that there now only exist two categories of species. Human, or Non-Human. No longer are we Rodian, or Trandoshan, or Twi'lek, or Sullustan. Human, or Non-Human.

And our government does nothing.

But there is always a way to make a difference, Brothers and Sisters. Stand your ground. Reject the leadership of our homeworld and pave the way for a future of freedom! There are others like us, followers of an ideal - and followers of one man. One man with the courage and foresight to change the fate of Andasala.

Valis Lorn is our leader - and he will prevail over the New Order.

Be Prepared, Brothers and Sisters: the time is coming for change.


*****************************************************


Talon Karrde snatched his head away from the propagandist infolink on his datapad. It was intoxicating subject matter, the political climate on this turbulent world. Not officially a signatory to the Empire but nor considered neutral by the New Order, it made for complicated legal and social situations that were often ignored or solved with violence. Never before had a planet been more recognisable as a candidate for a major uprising. If not for the insurmountable Imperial presence in the system, anyway.

Uprising was a fairly common occurrence in recent years. Between slavery, anti-alien policy and excessive use of force, the Empire had made itself more than unpopular on several worlds in the past. And most lately, since the rumours of Alderaan had spread to the corners of the galaxy, the Empire had made many more enemies. To their credit, the people of those worlds had taken arms for their cause. To their detriment, most of them died at the behest of a bloodthirsty Imperial leadership - or sometimes more ironically by Imperial supporters amidst their own population.

Personally, Karrde couldn't decide whether those that rebelled were heroic or just plain foolish. Perhaps neither. But in either case, attempting to overthrow the Empire was next to impossible for a local militia. No matter how strong the resolve, the Imperial Fleet was stronger.

Unless, he thought snidely, you have Jorj Car'Das on your side.

"What's on your mind, Talon?" the older man asked from the rear seat of their landspeeder. Karrde glanced up and made eye contact with his employer in the rear-vision mirror.

"Uprising," Karrde replied. "And rebellion in

 

Wow. That's some wild stuff you've cooked up there, mjs. Very interesting indeed. A rebel alliance that isn't the Rebel Alliance. I wonder if it conflicts with Lorn's ideals on any level to have to betray other resistors of the New Order. I know he doesn't want the Rebels on Andasala, but he may have some empathy for them...

You call this chapter overly talky, but it sucked me right in. I could see certain elements just sliding into place. This is going to be cool.

 

I agree with Forcefire--I got sucked into this chapter too (though I think I'm going to have nightmares about that CyboGran and his red eyes now ).

In an age when we are controlled by an Empire, a Rebellion spring up to defy it - and in the process claim that which the New Order already owns. ... We must ask ourselves, what is the advantage of replacing one absolute government with another?

Interesting take on the Rebellion there.


Money buys power, but influence gets it for free.

I seem to recall Karrde thinking something like this earlier in the story during the heist (I hope he did, anyway, or my comment will sound pretty stupid ). Nice tie-in, especially as a lead-up to seeing the "egoboost implant" again.

Fascinating place that Lorn lives in. I wouldn't mind getting something like that for free.

I haven't had any problems with following the storyline so far (or if I do, I'm blissfully ignorant). It sounds like a lot of Car'Das's plan is going to rely on what Eva and Clip find out about the Rebels on the planet (or, more importantly, what Eva and Clip tell him about the Rebels on the planet). The Benelex Guild is already in the middle of the Empire/Rebel conflict, which may change when Luke doesn't show up at the meeting, and they will potentially have an additional role to play between those two factions as part of this plan. Too bad the Rebels are getting the short end of the stick in each situation.

There's a lot set in motion and a lot of variables to come into play, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens.

Ten days, huh, MJS? You've proven you can do it now, so we're going to expect that from now on. (just kidding)

Great post!

-Thumper

 

Forcefire - Thanks very much for reading again! Haha, Cooking up wild stuff like this is even more fun than I imagined. In fact, the only drawback is creating all the pages of story plans that are inherit in creating a Rebllion-independent-of-the-Rebellion to add to the mix.

I wonder if it conflicts with Lorn's ideals on any level to have to betray other resistors of the New Order...

Very possibly, but that end of the story is nothing but a vague promise at this point, hehe. And I'm glad that you werent bored by this, either - I was hoping the political intrigue would be interesting enough! Thanks again, Forcefire.

Thumper - Glad to see you around! And also that to hear that you liked the chapter, aswell (cyborg Gran aside )

I seem to recall Karrde thinking something like this earlier in the story during the heist.

Indeed he did! I'm happy you remembered

There's a lot set in motion and a lot of variables to come into play, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens.

Haha, chapter ten is where the first clash of sides erupts - and a few variables will merge with each other. Oh dear, no more spoilers But there will definitely be fewer 'sides' to the conflict very shortly.

Ten days, huh, MJS? You've proven you can do it now, so we're going to expect that from now on.

HA. I might be able to scrounge up a part one to the next chapter in ten days - who knows I just find that as we get closer to some conflict and excitement I write faster and more easily. Eager to get to it, I suppose!

Thanks for reading, Thumper. Oh, and my Solid Ground message is almost done - I'll be sending it off tonight, I would imagine!

Thanks so much guys!

 

So, who hired all those losers *cough*NJO authors*cough* they have writing profic? You've already woven an amazing and more-indepth story than anything I've paid to read.

And before you even think about it, that does not mean I'm going to pay to read this.

All in all, fantastic job. It's a lot of fun to see all these events that made Karrde the genius he is, and it's great to see forces besides the Rebellion fighting the Empire. Makes those little movies really seem like an entire galaxy.

Keep it up! 10 days isn't bad, especially for the amount and quality of what you give, but of course that means you've raised our expectations once again.

 

And before you even think about it, that does not mean I'm going to pay to read this.

Blast! Does this mean I'll have to keep my day job now?

Thanks Talkingbanana for your excellent comments! I'm glad you like the idea of an independent organisation fighting the Empire - the reason I started writing fanfics in the first place was to try and have more depth in the GFFA than just "Jedi versus Sith". Not that there's anything wrong with a good Jedi versus Sith story, mind you

I might surprise a few people with the speed of my next update But then again, I've said that before many times, hehe.

Thanks so much for continuing to read!

(Edited TWICE for typos. Go me.)

 

You can?t really call this talky when I?m around. Seems every paragraph I write ends up with some sort of quip/comment/etc. from one of my characters.

It was quite clear (5 points were a good idea) and very intriguing. The conflict is a more complex than most, but that just goes toward making this fic unique. I liked the interspersing of Lorn?s propaganda. It really sets up the character and the motivations of his group while providing a different kind of style to read.

Oh and I also liked the mention of Eva?s quote coming just as Lorn fulfilled her statement.

As for the between-post waits, they are kind of long sometimes (well, a lot of times), but the actual chapters have more to sink our readerly teeth into.

Good update, mjs.

 

Hey Face!

You can?t really call this talky when I?m around

Ha ha, I'm so glad the general consensus is that the chapter wasn't too talky Maybe I needn't have edited it so severely.

It was quite clear (5 points were a good idea) and very intriguing.

Oh yeah, the 5 point plan began as five points in notepad on how I could possibly make a planetwide hostile takeover work. I liked it so much I transferred it into the actual story The layers of conflict in the later chapters will gradually peel away, so i'm glad that they're clear now at their most complex stage

And i'm happy to report that the next post is so close to being finished that it isnt funny Much less than 22 days for this one, hehe. Until then, thanks alot for reading and replying, Face!

 

Oh yeah, the 5 point plan began as five points in notepad on how I could possibly make a planetwide hostile takeover work. I liked it so much I transferred it into the actual story.

Is that what you do for fun? I'm kinda scared.

*chuckles in amusement* That being said, the plan was sheer brilliance . . .

 

Talkingbanana: Is that what you do for fun? I'm kinda scared.

Only when I get bored hashing out ways to conquer death and lord over the living

I promise this will be the last 'up' post before I update with chapter nine, but I have an odd question:

Do any of my wonderful readers (or lurkers, if you're there!) have some artistic ability? Only I'm looking to illustrate a couple of scenes here and there to give the story a bit more 'immersiveness', and my attempts so far have met with limited success

Just an idle question, hehe. Shoot me a quick PM if you're interested anyone It would be so greatly appreciated.

I know I say it alot, but it deserves to be said again: Thanks for reading, all

 

Hip-Hip-Hooray, it's Australia day! This calls for an update Here is part one of chapter nine - the chapter in which we are reintroduced to someone that we already know.

Hope you enjoy, everyone!


9. Craft (1/2)


The look on Eva Pah'ker's face was impossibly assured when she stared Clip Argentsson in the eyes and in her most confident voice announced: "Fifty credits says you can't do it."

It seemed such a simple bet. Approach a patron in the bar, casually talk them into giving their full name, date of birth, and occupation, then leave in as short a time as possible. When he heard it in words, Clip had thought it the easiest way to make fifty credits he'd come across in a long time. He had hardly given the bet any thought when he'd blurted out, "you're on."

And then he'd stepped into the crowd, and found himself faced with a sea of nameless, ageless and jobless beings. Most of them content to be alone and the rest in tight knit groups of raucously conversing friends. Overwhelmed just slightly by the sheer weight of options, he'd done the only thing he thought was reasonable.

He went to the bar.

"Starfruit liquer," Clip ordered, settling onto a vacant stool. He tried his best to keep memories of his earlier experience in an Andasalan bar from flooding back as he raised the familiar drink to his lips - making sure to leave a good blue mark on his mouth, just in case. But in here it was hard to draw parallels. It was considerably later in the day now - the light had gone from the evening sky, and regular club goers were beginning to fill their usual positions in the bar. The crowd was much louder, there was a bigger mix of human and non-human patrons, and more importantly there was not a Kel Dor in sight.

Resolutely, he ignored the final difference that he could identify.

This time, Eva is with me.

The thought of Eva spurred him on with his bet, and he looked either side of him. On his right sat an alien of a species that Clip had never seen before, but that was reading basic and so hence must understand it. To his left sat a human man that was thumbing a holstered blaster in an absent kind of way. He had seen enough to make a choice between the two.

"'scuse?" Clip said to the alien, accentuating his Corellian drawl in the hope that it would make him sound more authoritative. He had no idea whether it worked or not as the loud music in the bar drowned out most of his inflections and mannerisms. Regardless, the unidentified alien turned his attention to him. Clip sent a not-quite smile his - her? - way. "Pass the Jiqui wedges?"

The alien didn't answer him, but did as he was asked. He reached for the small bowl of tangy fruit slices a few seats down the bar, leaning just a bit too far to be convenient. As he did so, Clip stole a glance at the datapad that the creature was reading. He didn't catch much before he had to turn his attention to the jiqui fruit, but he definitely caught the name 'Valis Lorn', and the title of the active infolink read 'Andasala Under Attack'. Clip didn't know much about Valis Lorn, but had heard Karrde and Eva discussing the man in the landspeeder. From what he could remember, he was something of an anti-Imperial figure.

And as an added bonus, the datapad was property of the Andasala Investments and Securities Commission - in all likelihood where this alien worked.

Only two more things to find out.

"Thanks," Clip said. "Do they get much Imperial trouble in here?"

"What?" the alien asked suddenly, it's long ears pricking up.

"Raids? That sort of thing?" Clip hoped he'd read the alien correctly. "Only I'm trying to lie low for a while."

"You would not be alone," the other responded, taking another sip from a large drink. "No, there is not much Imperial intervention here." Clip had been hoping the creature would be more curious as to why he was lying low, but was determined not to give up. He still had a few ideas left.

Feigning a pained expression, he put his drink down and slipped his hand under his shirt to touch hi

 

Yay, uppy-date! Happy Australia Day.

Interesting bet. I wonder how easy that is in RL...

...and more importantly there was not a Kel Dor in sight.
I liked that line. Clip's learning. I also liked how he made sure to have a big blue smudge on his lips from his drink.

It would have been cool to have a basic description of the alien's appearance, especially since Clip couldn't identify the species. And he got so close to getting some useful information about Lorn...until "that crazy Nautolan" showed up. It was good to see him again and also to get a name. (I loved the "Still can't interest you in some thermal detonators?" line, too. hee hee.) I wonder what Craft has been through to have such different personalites (his "public" and "private" faces).

If the crowd had wanted entertainment, they had it.
I'll say! That was quite an introduction, and it seemed like it provided a good way for Eva and Craft to develop a mutual respect for the other's abilities, instead of creating instant hard feelings and bad first impressions.

Clip took it as a sign that they wouldn't shoot each other dead in the near future.
Liked that line, too.

Should be an interesting little trio there.

Poor Wedge, so far out of his element. But he'll learn a lot from this mission planning, I'm sure.

But even in the short time that Wedge had known him, Luke had proven himself to be fanatically faithful in what he believed in.
That's a really interesting (and accurate, IMHO) take on Luke.

They had a mission to complete.
Nice to see that sentiment brought back.

He had survived a Death Star. He could survive a meeting with disorganised and overconfident Bounty Hunters.
Atta boy, Wedge. There's the self-confident fighter pilot we all know and love.

Part Two really isn't far away, and I mean that when I say it this time!
hee hee..."All there was to do was wait."

BTW, I'll have an e-mail ready to go for you today.

Great job!

[EDIT: Oops, forgot one thing I was going to mention: This time, Eva is with me. Yeah, that really did make a difference. It was good to see that they honestly have put their disagreement aside and they're really looking out for each other and protecting each other.]

-Thumper

 

Yay, uppy-date! Happy Australia Day.

Thanks Thumper!

Interesting bet. I wonder how easy that is in RL...

I havent tried it before, but I saw it on a TV show about spies in training. They made them do that as a sort of test, and not one of them managed to get all the information without the person getting suspicious. I thought it'd be a nice way to start the chapter - see how Clip went up against the challenge

Perhaps I can add more description of the alien at the bar in the later re-writes. I didnt really think to add any more as he was only a small bit-part, but you're right - the only descriptive words I used were 'long ears'

It was good to see him again and also to get a name. (I loved the "Still can't interest you in some thermal detonators?" line, too. hee hee.) I wonder what Craft has been through to have such different personalites (his "public" and "private" faces).

Only time will tell, Thumper


I'll say! That was quite an introduction, and it seemed like it provided a good way for Eva and Craft to develop a mutual respect for the other's abilities, instead of creating instant hard feelings and bad first impressions.

Yeah, Craft and Eva are the type of people who, if you met them both in real life, would argue with each other to the death over the smallest issue and then shake hands and be best of friends again. Well, once they got to know each other, anyway

Poor Wedge, so far out of his element. But he'll learn a lot from this mission planning, I'm sure.

He'll be on a sharp learning curve quite soon, hehe.
This is the second time I've taken Wedge out of his element...one of these days, I'll actually have him flying an X-wing

Atta boy, Wedge. There's the self-confident fighter pilot we all know and love.

And yes, I think it's about time Wedge put on his "gettin' down to bidniss" hat on! More on that in chapter 10, though

Thanks so much for reading, Thumper!. It's great to have you on board for this fic. And take your time with the email responding - they were, to put it mildly, long messages

Until next time!

 

Ah, a triumvirate forms. Bit of an awkward way to get started, but I bet it'll make for a good story at parties.

Wedge did a nice job of giving himself a pep talk, but can he really convince himself? I hope so, because this is definately a situation that calls for self-confidence.

 

Great post, as I've come to expect. Loved Craft's introduction - the line about the start of a normal and wholesome friendship cracked me up.

Like Wedge's attitude correction, with the whole having survived a Death Star so he can take on anything perspective.

Keep up the great work!

 

This was a really fun half-chapter, mjs. It had it all ? some crazy misunderstandings (Three?s Company theme plays softly), a name for our Nautolan friend, and we even checked back in with Wedge and the gang.

I enjoyed all of Clip?s comparisons with the first bar. Luckily this one turned out better than the other. It was just like Clip to take the precaution of giving himself a big blue starfruit liquer mustache.

And Craft is just as cool as he was when we met him the first time around. It looks as if we might get to learn at least a little bit more about the real guy under his detonator salesman persona. I like that he kept calling Clip Pelbasterous. Then there was this exchange:

"If I find out I get fifty credits."

"Will you be forwarding those credits to me?"

"No."

"Then we have reached an impasse," the Nautolan said, still grinning.

Ah, the power of credits.

The Eva conflict was a nice way for the two of them to achieve mutual respect and add tension to the post. Besides, it wouldn?t feel right for Eva Pah?ker to just accept this strange one-name Nautolan as an ally. Good dynamics among the three of them and I look forward to seeing more, even if they don?t end up sticking together for long (who can say what?s going to happen considering who?s involved?)

Craft whistled. "Illegal, aren't they?"

Eva smiled at him. "Authorities generally don't raise the subject while I am carrying two of them."

Clip rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah, this is definitely the start of a normal and wholesome friendship."



I always enjoy the visits with Wedge and the proto-Rogues. You truly do a good job of showing the untold events that formed the Wedge we know and love. This ground experience will be good for him when he founds the Wraiths on a similar premise.

And surviving a Death Star is the ultimate confidence boost when facing anything short of? well, a Death Star.

Good update, Mjsullivan. I?m eagerly anticipating the rest of the chapter.