Silence (A JA Fanfic)

This post starts with a humble apology. I am using you. This story really is far from ready to be read, but I hope to gain two things from this 1) I can get feedback about the story as a whole before I send it to beta readers and 2) I can get this darn plot bunny off my back while I finish a story that people have been waiting for me to finish. (Let me put it to you this way. where the story left off Obi-Wan is dead and Poor Qui-Gon is a wreck. They are going to kill me if I don't correct that situation soon.
So without further ado here is my stinky story.

Silence

Qui-Gon awoke just as the first rays of the sun were splintering the Courescant sky. He took a deep breath hoping that it would clear his already burdened mind. But no, there was nothing to be done. He pulled himself up off of the mattress and then stood. It would be another day of silence.

Before entering the fresher, the Master paused at his apprentice?s door. His hand hovered over the door knob before it sank back at his side. This day he would put off the nightmare for just a little bit.

A little less than a month earlier Obi-Wan had fallen during a routine sparing session. He could still see the whole thing as if it were burned into his memory. They were on a platform that was suspended above some 30 meters above the training room floor. Qui-Gon had felt his padawan gather the force around himself, preparing to jump to another platform when the impossible had happened. One moment the force was swirling around the boy, strong and clear, and the next it was gone and he was falling. The Master shook his head to avoid remembering the sickening sound of his cherished Padawan hitting the ground.

The physical damage to Obi-Wan?s body had turned out to be miraculously minimal. But it didn?t matter, because there was very little Obi-Wan within that body. While the healers could not pinpoint the exact source of the brain damage, they assured Qui-Gon that they would do everything they could to help the apprentice. Three weeks had passed and hopelessness had set in. Obi-Wan remained completely unresponsive. His eyes stared glazedly at nothing, he never spoke, and he did almost nothing for himself. Except when he would do something irrational and unexpected. Qui-Gon?s thoughts were immediately drawn back to the previous night. While his master was leading him from another session with the healers, they had passed Yoda and Mace Windu who were deep in conversation. Before Qui-Gon could stop him, Obi-Wan had dropped to his knees in front of the diminutive master, rested his head upon his chest, and began to silently weep. When Yoda reached up to place his hand on the boys ginger hair, the head snapped up and the tears had been yet again been replaced with the dead eyes that had become the inhabitants of Qui-Gon?s nightmares. It was at that moment that he felt all hope leave him. He felt his heart shatter as he accepted that this was who his Padawan was now. He would care for him and love him as he always had, but now he would grieve for the bright joyful boy who was gone.

Clean and dressed, Qui-Gon was ready to take up the challenge that his life had become. He covered the distance to Obi-Wan?s door in three quick strides. He opened the door, expecting to see exactly what he had seen every morning for the last three weeks. He stopped dead in his tracks. The room was empty and the vazutan had been rolled and the blankets were neatly folded on top of it.

?Obi-Wan? Padawan where are you??

He tore through their quarters, searching every room. He had just gathered his robe and was heading for the door when his commlink beeped softly on his hip.

?Qui-Gon?? It was the familiar voice of his friend Makeda Namira. They had been friends since they had been Padawans. ?You need to get down to the initiate training room right now.?

?I can?t I...I can?t find Obi-Wan Makeda. I have to look for him there?s no telling what...?

?He?s here old friend you had better hurry.?

So is it worth cont

 

Yes, contiue you must. this looks very promising.

 

It is your sacred(?) duty to finish a story as interseting as this. Please post more soon.

Kim B

 

"Is it worth continuing?" YESYESYES
"Should i write more ASAP?" YESYESYES
"Should I fore-go all aspects of my real life to finish my other story and get cracking at this one?" YESYESYES

Ahh, just ad-libbing some of the question I figured you might ask
~Susie

 

You bet it's worth continuing...you can't leave us hanging there...poor Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. More please, Norbooboo? You've got my attention.

 

Continue you must. Leave us like this, you cannot. Post, you will.

 

Yes, this is definitely worth continuing! But I have to ask, whatever happened to "The Power of Water?" That was you, wasn't it? And as I recall, little Obi-Wan was also left in a pretty precarious position there, too.

Getting back to the story at hand, this is fascinating. I assume Obi-Wan can function enough to do what he's told, such as walk along to the healers, or eat something, or not drown in the bathtub, so why doesn't his conscious mind work anymore? Why would he, as a Padawan, go to the Initiates' training room? I'm definitely looking forward to more of this!

By the way, I'm surprised that Obi-Wan survived such a fall in the first place! 30 meters is three times the height of a diving tower!

[This message has been edited by Jane Jinn (edited 05-03-2000).]

 

Fascinating and heartfelt. Worth continuing?
An emphatic yes!

Post often, post soon.

 

MORE PLEASE !!!

 

Stinky story... are you NUTS!!!!!! This is one plot bunny I am glad found you!!! Please
Please Please Please Please finish.

I agree with the person above, you are to have no life other than finishing this story and of course "The Power of Water..." I have been so patient waiting for little Obis fate in that story. Your the best Norobooo!

 

Jane Jinn, Thank-you thank-you thank-you!!!!!
This is exactly what I need. As far as how functional Obi-Wan is, that does get explained in more detail later, but I wondering if I could ask your advice about the fall. I really did give it some thought. It really is too far isn't it. I had a whole bit in the story about how amazed everyone was that Obi-Wan had survived never mind not been really hurt, but it was a very poorly written bit (can you say yuck!!) I guess I could simply decrease the height. What do you think?? There is more than meets the eye about the fall, but that's for later in the story. Whoa, I think that I have set the babble record. Thanks everyone for the interest and the help. Will post tonight. Oh by the way, I have not abandoned "The Power of Water" I promise to get it finished. I have a tendency to get sidetracked, but I do finish what I start.

 

Yeah, I'm afraid that 30 meters is just a little unbelievable. How about cutting it down to 15 if he lands on a mat, and 10 if he hits the hard floor? And when you say that there's more to this than meets the eye, you only whet my appetite even more!

Now why is that stupid song going through my head? Obi-Wan is practically a walking corpse and all I can think of is: "It's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men!" Bad, Jane, bad! Be serious here, and maybe Norbooboo will reward you with another post!

 

30 meters isn't that unbelievable at all. He feel at least that from the platform on TPM if you watch the background scenery. I've seen people fall from incredible heights in my line of work (EMS) and live w/o even a brain injury. The human body is a funny thing. Now, POST FOR FORCE SAKE!!

 

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH this is really good, Norbooboo!! This is a wonderful story and you must post more soon!!! It looks like I'm also going to have to go check out your other one as well...

 

I am really interested about the distruption, where could it have come from. Was it deliberate? a revenge? Sith? a new wepon against the jedi? wepon that traps a soul?(and kidnap OW and restore it?) the possibility is endless. Please dont have me guessing and post soon(PLEASE????? ).

Kim B

 

Well her is post. To say that it is iffy would be an insult to iffy posts everywhere. It is a tad rushed so. I jsut sort of spilled my brain out onto the page. I figure that when I'm fone if it turns out to be a worthwhel story I will rewrite and rewrite and rewrite and archive the sucker somewhere. So sorry for the typos and messy grammer, I just wanted to get a post out. Here goes:

Qui-Gon rushed through the temple halls his robe flowing out behind him. Obi-Wan had always had a soft place in his heart for the initiate training rooms. His explanation had been that they reminded him of training with Master Yoda. Qui-Gon had teasingly accused his apprentice of sucking up to the council head. It wasn?t true ofcourse, but Qui-Gon had enjoyed making his often too serious student laugh.

The tall Master rounded the last corner and was stopped short. Gathered around the entrance to the training room, was a hoard of young initiates. He slowed his pace and came up quietly behind them. Youthful heads bobbed up and down and eyes strained to peer into the room. A constant chatter swirled through the group.

?How many is that now??

?Four!?

?I?ve never seen anyone best Master Makeda once, never mind four times.?

?Is it true what I?ve heard about him??

?Yeah. I was getting a bacta patch on a burn when he was there. It was awful...creepy.?

?But, how could he beat Master Makeda??

?Did you see him when he came in? I think I would rather be dead than be like that.?

Without a sound of warning, Qui-Gon pushed past the initiates and into the room. Inside the air felt stifling, heavy with focused force energy. In the center of the room an orange and a blue blade swooped and clashed. His friend was facing his Padawan and just barely holding his own. Makeda had the force wrapped around him, but Qui-Gon could easily see that his friend was near the end of his strength. In contrast, Obi-Wan looked serene, his eyes closed and his stance relaxed. It was like watching a complete stranger fighting. Makeda could not get past the boys defenses and seemed to always be at least two steps behind him.

Qui-Gon sensed a motion to his right. Masters Yoda and Mace Windu had joined him. Makeda must have sensed their presence as well for his concentration wavered for just a moment leaving him open to Obi-Wan?s assault. The blue blade stopped just before the Master?s exposed neck, so close the man dared not breathe until the saber was extinguished.

?You?ve bested me again Obi-Wan.? Makeda clapped the boy on the shoulder, motioning Qui-Gon with his other hand. ?I?m afraid that I cannot continue. I do believe that you have worn me out.? he said as he tried to pull away.

I t was then that Qui-Gon heard his Padawan?s voice for the first time since the accident. Holding tightly onto Makeda?s arm, Obi-Wan merely grunted, but with such pleading it stopped the older man in his tracks.

?I know that you want to continue young one, but it is time to stop.? Another grunt. ?Look, Qui-Gon is here for you.? Yet another grunt, louder and more insistent.

Qui-Gon heard a shuffle behind him and realized that the initiates had worked their way back into the room. He shot a look to Mace, who wrangled the youths back out, and rushed to his Padawan.

?Obi-Wan? ? He tried, unsuccessfully to release the boys death grip on his friend?s arm. ?Obi-Wan it?s time to go home.? Still the boy held on oblivious to his Master. ?Now Padawan!?

The boy?s head turned towards Qui-Gon and instead of the gray eyes, lifeless and unseeing that he was used to, he was confronted with the same eyes full of fire, strength, and desperation.

?I have to prepare.? The voice was a whisper, but it shot directly to the Master?s soul. ?Let me prepare.? Obi-Wan released Makeda and leaned over until his head touched his master?s chest.

The power of the touch took Qui-Gon?s breath away. The Force surged up within him and then was pulled through him into his Padawan. He thro

 

something confuses me here norbooboo I don't know what?

Kim B

 

I find myself wondering when Makeda found the time to contact Qui-Gon if he was so busy sparring with Obi-Wan (between bouts, perhaps?). And the fact that Obi-Wan only grunts to Makeda, but suddenly whispers to Qui-Gon is...interesting. It almost sounds like Obi-Wan is possessed at times, but by what? Some sort of Force-sucking creature? Is that why Obi-Wan fell? Is that why he suddenly reverted to his now-normal state, when the Force was pulled through Qui-Gon and into his Padawan? I'm looking forward to more. There was nothing to criticise in this post except the spelling errors, so keep writing!

 

Very interesting!!!! I also wonder what is happening to Obi-Wan. Why did he fall? What causes him to become "normal" for breif periods of time only to go back to his trance like state? I look forward to the answers

BTW... how old is Obi in this story? Thanks

 

Yes, I was wondering that too.

In any case, keep writing!

 

Hey guys, didn't you know that was my specialty -- Plot holes you can drive a truck through!!!!! If I get time to write without rushing it, like I did last night, I will post tonight (late)
Thank you everyone for your input!

 

Hey guys, didn't you know that was my specialty -- Plot holes you can drive a truck through!!!!! If I get time to write without rushing it, like I did last night, I will post tonight (late)
Thank you everyone for your input!

 

Whoa how did I do that. Well just forget it. This post never happened.

 

Whoa how did I do that. Well just forget it. This post never happened.

 

Looking good!! Can't wait to see more!