Saga A Year in the Dustbowl~ AU, Corran Horn, 2009 Dear Diary Challenge, Completed 26/12/09

Title: A Year in the Dustbowl
Author: MiralukaJedi
Timeframe: Intertrilogy, 4BBY
Character: Corran Horn

Note: This diary is a companion piece to my work, on the Saga Boards, I,Exile. My thanks to Lucid_Lady for inspiring the idea of covering the childhood of the characters better than I did in the original piece to date, and there will be another companion piece that runs a little bit later and follows Corran's OC sister in my work, Ahsana.

Disclaimer: This universe, in no way shape or form is owned by me. I just write in it.

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Entry # 1

I don't know exactly what possessed me to think that this was a good idea in the first place. I've never been possessed by any need to keep a journal in the past and this is the first time that I've ever done it. I could come up with a hundred different reasons and theories for why I've decided that this is a good idea but one above all others sticks out. I need someone to talk to I suppose, someone that won't judge me and my decisions and help me cope with things that I can't really share with my friends or anyone else for that matter. So, I've turned over to writing a journal on a datapad that I've encrypted to the gills to ensure my nosy little sister won't go snooping through my private thoughts. Seems the only way that a secret Jedi apprentice cumma moisture farmer's son can get any piece.

I figure that maybe, just maybe, this will help me deal with my own issues regarding the need to keep everything about my true self from everyone around me and the problems I have in terms of an identity issue. Four years of these issue don't seem to have helped me any. Talking to 'Sana won't help any: my little sister has never had issues with having to hide who she really is because she sees herself as being the same person no matter what. Can't talk to my Dad or Grandpa either because they seem to feel the same way. Talking to my friends is out too- talking to them would only put their lives in danger and lead to the same problems for my family.

So, here I am, scribbling all my problems down on a datapad and seeing them staring me back in the face. Oh how I wish I had someone to talk to about all this. An outsider who would understand all of these problems I seem to be having. Until then, I guess I'm stuck scribbling on this damn datapad.

[hr]

 

Very nice start!

I've turned over to writing a journal on a datapad that I've encrypted to the gills to ensure my nosy little sister won't go snooping through my private thoughts.

I can totally relate to that!

If you have a PM list for this, please add me.

Looking forward to more

 

Thanks. I'll be glad to add you to the list.

 

PM list
Kelia

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Entry # 2

Maybe there's something I should do I think. Maybe writing down a few resolutions of what I should achieve this year might help with that. So here goes:

This year, I, Corran Horn resolve to:

1. Learn two of the lightsaber forms. So far, I've just been making it up as I go along.
2. Actually win a sparring match against my sister rather than it ending in a draw.
3. Find out the full meaning of those vague visions I've been having.
4. Go on an adventure with my friends. Or at least what accounts for an adventure here on this dustbowl.

I might add more later, I'm not sure yet. But these are the things that I definitely want to do.

[hr]

 

That's a pretty good list to start with

Find out the full meaning of those vague visions I've been having.

Good luck with that one Corran!

Vague visions can stump even the most powerful of Jedi.

Great update

 

This is really neat!

So, I've turned over to writing a journal on a datapad that I've encrypted to the gills to ensure my nosy little sister won't go snooping through my private thoughts.
I used to write my journals in code when I was younger for the same reason. But then I would promptly forget the code and it would do me no good.

Learn two of the lightsaber forms. So far, I've just been making it up as I go along.
But making it up as you go along makes you more unpredictable in a fight.(Can you tell I do this?)

I'm really enjoying this so far. Keep up the good work!

 

Thanks. And yeah, those visions are definitely tricky aren't they? But that doesn't seem to dissuade people from trying to understand them fully or stop them from happening in some cases.

 

Thanks for the compliments and hope that you enjoy all the stuff coming up. This has to do with one of the resolutions made in the last entry- the one with the visions.

PM list
Kelia

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Entry # 3

Something has been bothering me lately and it involves something that seems to have bedeviled Jedi since the beginning of time: Force visions. Yes, those things. Oh how I could do without them but not live without them at the same time.

By not being able to live without them, I mean by what I'm seeing lately. I've been having these visions of a beautiful black-haired, green-eyed girl about my age. I've definitely never seen anyone like her before on Tatooine and I really wish there was. It would definitely liven up the place. Aside from seeing her, I don't know why I'm seeing her.

I am I seeing her because I'm meant to save her? I am I seeing her because I'm just seeing her? I am I seeing her because I'm meant to be some sort of positive force in her life? Truthfully, I have no idea what it all means and I really wish that I did.

Gods, how I hate Force visions sometimes. But what do you do, can't live with them, can't live without them.

[hr]

 

Gods, how I hate Force visions sometimes

I can relate to that!

I have a feeling the visions mean the strange girl is about to enter Corran's life.

Hopefully in a good way.

Great update

 

Okay, figured that it might be a good idea to clarify a few things to get more readers interested in this companion piece and the main work too. Just hope that being explicit with who is writing the diary would work.

 

Yeah, eventually. But he'll be plagued by them for awhile yet (four years to be precise, the resolution showing itself in I,Exile's most recent post actually). Sorry, I'm a little evil that way, I know . But yes, in a good way.

Anyways, here comes more.

PM list
Kelia

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Entry # 4

One question has been bothering me today that I need to get out there. And no, it's not about those pesky Force visions. I haven't had one of those in about two weeks. No, it's about just how boring this dustbowl can be.

The reason we're even on Tatooine in the first place is to stay hidden from the Emperor's Jedi hunters because staying in the Core would have been way too dangerous. I was born here as a result and spend half my time denying what I really am so that we don't attract any unwanted attention. I understand all this and even in my most depressed moments, I accept that. I just hope that one way or another, I'll be able to leave this place behind and be what I actually am.

No, this question relates to how boring and dull this dustbowl is. There's nothing to do here really- in spite of any attempts to do otherwise. Flying T-16s, inventing new games, and blasting away at womprats will only get you so far. These activities only alleviate the boredom so much and there isn't even enough junk around to build something to get away from here. I should know. 'Sana and me have tried it before and failed. The hyperdrive wouldn't ever work anyways. We even got Luke and Fixer to help us but it still wouldn't work. Damn machines anyways!

So, for the millionth time in a lifetime I'm still left wishing that I could leave this dustbowl behind. I really don't care what I would do. All I know is that I'd finally find something to do. And there has to be thousands of possibilities out there waiting for me.

 

Corran sounds a lot like Luke!

Though I can understand his utter boredom.

I just hope that one way or another, I'll be able to leave this place behind and be what I actually am.

That would be nice...

great update

 

So, for the millionth time in a lifetime I'm still left wishing that I could leave this dustbowl behind. I really don't care what I would do. All I know is that I'd finally find something to do. And there has to be thousands of possibilities out there waiting for me.

I think most people struggle with this. It seems to be common for natives of Tatooine especially, and I can understand why. I wouldn't want to live in the middle of a giant desert either.

Great update!

 

I've enjoyed all the entries so far. Corran sounds like LUke. I like his voice here.

PM's for updates please?

 

wow. loced it. could you please add me to the pm list?

 

Thanks. And yes, that seems to be the consensus here. But thanks and yes, I'll happily add you to the PM list.

 

Thanks. And definitely happy to do so.

 

Wow! Thanks. And eventually, Corran will get his wish. Thanks for the compliments.

 

No. To tell the truth I wouldn't either. I think any desolate environment like that tends to bring that sort of behaviour out in people.

Anyways, here's the PM list as it stands now:

Kelia
Jade_eyes
Tatooine_Ghost

And on with the next entry,

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Entry # 5

After a day of being out with the guys, I come home and find something wrong with my things in my room. Nothing is out of place but I knew something was off. 'Sana thinks if she leaves everything the way I left it that I won't know that she's been there snooping around. That's the problem with having an overly curious younger sister who sometimes helps you in your schemes. Sometimes it comes back to bite you in the ass.

She's started taunting me about my 'dream girl', so I know that she's been reading my datapad. Ahsana Horn is many things but subtle is not usually one of them. So this means that my encryption sequences were no good. I'll have to redouble my efforts to keep her from breaking into it ever again.

But until then, here's what I am doing. 'Sana, if you're reading this, keep your hands off my things. And mind your own business next time instead of mine.


[hr]

 

wow. liked it.

 

LOL Sana sounds a "typical" younger sister And I love what he wrote in there not that it'll stop her "If you're reading this, quit it!"


And I too wonder about the "dream girl."

 

'Sana, if you're reading this, keep your hands off my things. And mind your own business next time instead of mine.

Good luck with that!

Overly curious sisters tend not to do what they are told

Great update

 

Thanks. Hope you continue to find it interesting.

 

Thanks. And you're right, it wouldn't stop her either. And the 'dream girl', he's wondering about it too but he'll keep getting more information as he sees more of her in his visions.

 

Definitely. Tend to take it on as more of a challenge to overcome than anything else I think. And thanks.

PM list

KELIA
Tatooine_Ghost
Jade_eyes

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Entry # 6

I had another vision today. That's right, my 'dream girl' came to me again for the first time in weeks. And there has been something of a change there I think with what I'm seeing. Definitely a change in what I'm feeling in response to what I'm seeing.

They are definitely clearer than I've ever seen them. Her features are beautiful. Aside from that I don't quite know how to describe them otherwise. I can't really find any words to do so. Her green eyes are crisp and clear. Her hair jet black. I feel...well, I feel something that I've never felt before. I'd ask someone about it, but then I'd have to get into discussing the nature of Force visions and likely get a lecture on the nature of said Force visions. So, I guess I stick to writing them out to see if I can get a clearer grasp on them.

Somehow I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon though.

I have arrived at one conclusion though from these visions so far. I know in my heart of hearts that one day, I'll meet her. And maybe even fall completely in love with her.

[hr]