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Saga Adamantine -- August OC Challenge, viggie, Rebel pilot OCs, OT era

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Thumper09, Aug 30, 2009.

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  1. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Force Ghost star 4

    Dec 9, 2001
    Title: Adamantine
    Author: Thumper09
    Timeframe: OT era, approximately 1.5 months after the Battle of Yavin
    Characters: OCs (Rebel fighter pilots)
    Notes: This is my entry for the August challenge for the Essential Guide to OCs. "OC?s Need to Eat their Viggies to Get Big & Strong: Side story, background story, adventures in finding a restroom story? Tell a story about one of your current OC?s, give a little expose on your favorite, or not-so-favorite OC. No more than one post long!"
    Disclaimer: Many thanks to Lucasfilm for everything Star Wars.

    Constructive criticism is accepted and appreciated.



    Lieutenant Steen Weas fought the urge to grumble aloud as he headed to his quarters. The last half hour had been totally wasted in arguing with his commanding officer, and the worst part was that Weas finally had to concede to his superior even though he knew he was right. The squadron had too many inexperienced flight officers already. They had too little resources and too much time spent in heavy action on the front lines to take on yet another rookie X-wing pilot. It was even worse upon seeing in the paperwork that their newly assigned pilot had never even seen combat before. Weas had done everything he could think of to convince Commander Mackin to refuse the incoming transfer and instead keep pressing for the veteran pilot they'd been begging for for months: accepting this rookie would only put Corona Squadron back at the end of the waiting list for replacement pilots in the understaffed Rebel Alliance.

    But Mack hadn't agreed. So now it was Weas's job as the squadron's Executive Officer to come up with an extensive training plan for this brand-new pilot before he arrived. Weas wondered darkly if the rookie would even know which was the business end of a laser cannon.

    He punched in the access code for his room a little harder than normal, and the door meekly slid open. Weas didn't have enough pull to have an office that was separate from his quarters like Mackin did, but at least his position in the squadron was high enough that he didn't have to share a room with anyone. Half of his solitary quarters had been converted into his simplistic office. His stewing frustration made Weas turn a dark expression on his living space of purgatory; he was stuck by himself above the rest of the squadron but below his commander, and that made the act of venting dissatisfaction extremely difficult at times.

    Weas pulled his comlink from his pocket and entered in the frequency of the only other person on the entire Mon Calamari Cruiser who knew exactly how he felt. Unfortunately, Lieutenant Pless "Sponge" Yatlos, the Executive Officer of the other starfighter squadron on board, didn't answer. Weas sighed. He must be busy.

    There was only one other thing that would help calm Weas down while he worked on this training plan for a pilot who was a mistake to bring here to begin with. He grabbed one of the many holodiscs in a small, hidden bin and inserted it into his computer's holoemitter without even looking at it. Then he sat down at this desk and got ready to go to work.

    The holodisc started playing automatically, and Weas recognized the holodrama's opening music within the first five measures. He smiled a bit: it was Corulag Diamonds, recorded about sixty years ago, which made it one of the youngest holodramas in his collection but still older than his parents. It had been critically-acclaimed back in its day and popular almost to the point of having a cult following, but like all the others in his stashed bin it was today considered cheesy, sappy, trite and even a bit goofy and romanticized.

    "Diamonds are survivors of extreme pressure." Weas spoke the opening narration dialogue at the same time as the lead character, Les Hyntrall, did. "They wouldn't exist without it, and it makes them tougher and more beautiful than ever before. And nowhere did I find
  2. Jedi_Perigrine

    Jedi_Perigrine Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 22, 2008
    Typically good writing from Thumper--thoughtful, smart, and it sucks you in like a vortex by the second line. The amount of realism stuffed into this is awesome. Great job!
  3. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    a great viggie showing your OC.=D==D=
  4. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    What an excellent entry for the challenge! =D=
  5. Gryvon_Skywalker

    Gryvon_Skywalker Jedi Youngling

    Sep 22, 2002
    This is quite good!
  6. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Force Ghost star 4

    Dec 9, 2001
    Peri: Aww, thank you! I appreciate your comments. Thanks for reading!

    earlybird: Thanks! This particular OC needed some development, so he got to be picked on here. ;)

    VaderLVR: Thanks for the compliment and the reply!

    Gryvon: Thank you, and thanks for reading!
  7. snowspeeder_gunner

    snowspeeder_gunner Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 10, 2007
    Good good good good. I am so glad Weas finally got some shine time, and also that he likes old movies.

    Quiver knowing the line perfect as well.

    Keep up the great work!
  8. Corellian_Ale

    Corellian_Ale Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Mar 3, 2008
    "No, sir, the Jedi thing. I could've sworn I heard that line somewhere before. Something like- Oh! It's from that old holodrama! Corulag something. Ha, my grandparents were always watching that when I was growing up.

  9. BigE

    BigE Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 31, 2002
    Wow ? that was a nice piece of work! Great characters, Thumper. I love how Weas works with the holodrama in the background. That is a nice touch ? one of those ?little things? that gives a person depth.

    Not even a Jedi Master could mind-trick me into caring about what you do. lol ? that?s a great line! [face_laugh]

  10. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Nov 3, 2003
    What a wonderful story! I really enjoyed this- most of us have our own methods of distracting ourselves from real life, and Weas' love of cheesy old holodramas is one I can definitely relate to. :p Sounds like a very interesting character indeed. Great work!
  11. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Force Ghost star 4

    Dec 9, 2001
    snowy: Thanks! Weas was long overdue for some shine time. I'm trying to flesh out all the Coronas a bit more.

    Ale: I'm glad you liked that part. Thanks for reading!

    BigE: I'm happy the holodrama helped add some depth to his personality. Thanks for the compliments and for reading!

    DWH: Writing the holodrama part of this was trickier than I expected, but now I know who to ask for help if I need it in the future. [face_mischief] ;) Thanks for reading and replying!
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