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Saga ardavenport's Edited Challenge Entries

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Jun 23, 2014.

  1. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Dec 16, 2004
    This is my entry for Round 1 of the Edited Challenge,
    at or around 250 words.

    Round 1
    A stressed out male
    A beautiful sunset
    A tiny animal


    Luke stared at the enormous red giant hovering on the horizon, its magnificent face painted with curling, shifting swirls in the hazy brown atmosphere. His mask shielded his lungs and eyes, but the filtered air he breathed smelled like an old belch of what he had for breakfast. Han Solo lounged in a chair with his feet up on the balcony railing, the picture of boredom.


    Startled, Luke back-stepped from the tiny creature that had suddenly hopped out of nowhere onto the polished railing. Small enough to fit in his palm, it was covered with dark purple fur with pale brown spots on its flanks. Ear flaps up, its large black eyes blinked. Its pointed nose twitched.

    "Aaaaah!" Zechnor swatted the creature away and it dove, scampering down the vertical side of the tower. "Vermin!" Zechnor's pale eyes went to the curtained archway. The corners of his mouth twitched; his long slender fingers impatiently clenched and unclenched. Air noisily rushed in and out through his nose-slits.

    Behind him, Han's chair creaked, his boots quietly landing on the deck.

    "Nervous?" The air filter on Han's mask muffled the word, his eyes narrowing as he stood. The smuggler's hand jerked beside his empty blaster holster. Zechnor flinched back anyway. Looking down at Luke, he turned his shoulder to him as if trying to make his body into a smaller target. The top of Luke's head barely reached the center of Zechnor's chest.

    "You people shouldn't be here! It's too dangerous! We shouldn't get involved!"
  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Fun for Han and Luke
    Great entry
  3. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Excellent details and characterizations =D= Zechnor does seem jumpy ;)
  4. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Chosen One star 5

    Nov 1, 2004
    Nice entry to the challenge.
  5. Revanfan1

    Revanfan1 Force Ghost star 6

    Jun 3, 2013
    Aw, the purple creature sounded cute. :p
    Nyota's Heart likes this.
  6. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 26, 2005
    Zechnor is a bit jumpy there :p

    Nice reply

  7. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Dec 16, 2004
    Thanks all for reading and commenting! Alas, it didn't last, but it was fun while it lasted. :)