Before - Legends Broken Circle (Qui-Gon, Xanatos, Crion) - Complete 3/31/05

Altaira Glad you enjoyed it so much. I have been asked by others of my readers to do that - to rewrite some of the JA books but I have a hard enough time finding time to do my own stuff. This story is only hinted at in the JA so I thought I'd fill in the spaces at bit.

Thanks about the holding the heart in a vice grip. I try, I really do...LOL
It was supposed to be a short fic about Qui-Gon not fixing his nose but I guess that took second place to what is going on with those two.
This is the saddest thing I ever loved. That is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Thank you so much.
I hope I will continue to please with the final post...

Princess_A Thanks. As for the AU, I took it out of my notes above. It was confusing too many people. It is AU in the motivations of Xanatos. He is often portrayed as a greedy, manipulative maniac who, along with his father, ruined Telos for money and power. He betrayed Qui-Gon, turning to the darkside and went on to try and kill him a number of times. Since I thought Qui-Gon, however blinded by love, would have seen something of Xan's nature, I wanted to give him a different motivation. Plus it also makes it more angsty since this story is based on a misunderstanding that will drive them apart.

I loved the image of the dirty spot on the white cloth. Beautifully put!

Unfortunately for Xan, by the time he realizes his error, he will have lost everything. I thought that might lead him to do the bad things he does later in the JA books - that he blames Qui-Gon for his own mistakes.

The next post will be up, probably late tomorrow. It is written but I'd like a few people to see the story before it sinks into the abyss of the boards...

Noi Thanks so much for your support. I love putting little things in that gives the scene depth - make it come alive somehow. Plus, it's fun to do.

 

Kynstar Thank you. I like to build on things. So Xan is indeed trying to get control as he pulls back a little bit and then something else sets him off. It is a way of increasing tension for the reader as well as the character. When I write, I usually write the dialogue first. That way, I can get the information I want across - people seem to pay more attention to speaking than description so I want it to sound just right. I was working on this story for about 3 weeks and the dialogue was driving me nuts. I finally figured it out but it took time.

Thanks.

Layren Thanks. I loved writing the ring into the skin scene. It was icky!

Vader:VR64 Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope you found something fluffy to read! LOL.

LE Thank you. You have such a way with language that for you to say that is really wonderful to hear! I'm glad you are enjoying it!

Leona Oh, thanks. Difficult is good, I think That means you enjoyed it!

As for the AU, like I said above, I took it out in the description notes. It was confusing too many people. But you are right. Xan is not evil here. He is confused and has been manipulated by his father into thinking things that aren't true. Crion used 'love' and praise as tools for getting Xan to do what he wanted him to do. The Jedi forbid attachment and I was assuming that Qui-Gon would follow the rule on the surface but not in his heart and Xan didn't know that. Then here is this father figure, powerful and rich, someone who knows how to say just the right thing, who appears to accept Xan without reservation or rules...

Xan would have come to his senses eventually if Crion hadn't died...

Hope you enjoy the next post.... Thanks.

 

This is beautifully written Diane. deCrion was wonderfully deceitful and his son...Oh, poor Qui. Well done with all of them

 

T_S Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

And now for the last part. I would have posted it later in the week but I've run out of time so you all get to reap the benefits.


With a look of utter contempt, he spat out, "And you... you are just a pathetic old man."

---

The air seemed to freeze then. The bitterly-cold denunciation caught at Qui-Gon and he could not breathe, could... not... breathe for the grief. It was not possible; his Xani could not abandon the Order. Not like this, not for a man who would manipulate his own son in death as well as he ever did in life. Please not like this....

But the moment did not change. He had failed, failed in his teaching, failed somehow in his love for the son in all but name, failed the Jedi.

He closed his eyes for an instant, gathering strength to do what must be done. Xani had made his decision and abandoned the Order. And a Jedi Master had a duty to the Republic no matter the cost to his own heart. Later, later he would deal with the bottomless sorrow. For now, there was only burden and duty and despair.

But Xanatos was not finished just yet. "There is one last thing, Master."

When Qui-Gon looked again with faith that there might still be a chance, however slim, to redeem his Padawan, deCrion just smiled, bitter and demanding. Sapphire eyes, colder than the depths of space, stared back. Xanatos stood there, gauging the Jedi's reaction, almost reveling in the vulnerable trust that shone in the Master's face, allowing the hope to build.

Xan nodded then, leaning down to scoop up his old lightsaber. The weapon was smeared in brown gore and he used shreds of lace to clean it. But the blood still clung in the grooved indentations, darkening the metal handle.

Finally satisfied, he turned the blade on, looking at it for a moment, his face all but unreadable, before he brought it up into ready position. Qui-Gon watched uncertainly as Xan's other hand grabbed the long, black braid, the mark of his life as a Jedi, and pulling it taut, sliced through it with one swift stroke.

Qui-Gon made a soft sound of protest but Xan's smirk only grew wider as he threw the braid down into the puddle of blood. "A [i]gift[/i] for you, Master."

Jinn looked at him with something akin to horror and then glanced down at the slime-soaked hair. It took a few heartbeats but he finally rasped out, "So be it."

"Have you nothing more to say then, Qui-Gon? No final words of wisdom, no pleas for my return to the Jedi, no threats of retribution?" Xanatos snorted, then his eyes grew savage, brilliant blue in the firelight. His lightsaber swayed downward, pointing at the wet braid, and his voice was saturated in sarcasm. "No thanks for my generous gift... or am I worth so little?"

Qui-Gon continued to stare at the black-hair symbol of apprenticeship but his face had aged a dozen years. A flat murmur of denial and loss. "Jedi do not accept gifts. You know that, Xan."

"Not even from their own Padawan?" Playfully said in other times would have called for a teasing retort and an smile. But not now...

The Jedi looked up at that, his clouded eyes full of regret as he stared at the younger man. "Are you?" But he knew the answer before the question sounded. Xan's saber swayed for a moment, trembling remorse or anger or guilt; it was difficult to tell but his former apprentice remained stubbornly silent.

Sighing heavily, Qui-Gon grated out, "No, I didn't think so."

Xanatos drew back, his scathing glare almost brighter than the blue blade that still hummed in his hands. But the skin around his eyes grew white with tension; his fingers tightened around the saber handle, stark lines of bone and sinew told of his anger. The Force was aswirl in shredded tones of illumination and shadow. The very air seemed to thrum with anticipation.

"I am Heir of Telos. And more powerful than any Jedi. My father taught me that."

Qui-Gon swallowed hard. One thin drop of red trickled down the side of his mouth, the broken nose still dribbling blood. But he swiped at it

 

Oh. How like you to keep saying that you're a slow writer...and then produce something like that. If this is what moving houses can do to you - then may you live a caravan existence all your life!

. Oh well. Not that much house-moving, maybe.

Every word was beautifully written. (And you should seriously consider re-writing the JA series. Regardless of how many years it takes.). It's difficult to bring about a confrontation between two people, without - er - making it sound too artificial. Because there isn't black and white...there're just varying shades of grey. For Xan to so wilfully misunderstand everything the Jedi taught him - and for Qui-Gon to realise how much he really had failed...

>>>"This is... I never would have believed... you set me up.">>>.

Duh. Talk about a single-track approach. Did so many years with a master who lavished such attention mean nothing? Apparently. This is what they mean, I suppose, when they say 'Blood is thicker than water.' .

I suppose any master worth his salt would come to the crushing conclusion that he never would raise a sabre again - as far as teaching was concerned. And that, of course, establishes the perfect base for why Qui and Obi get off to such a rocky start. [considering everything, they actually stuck together for so many years - who exactly redeemed who? (or is that 'whom'? Eh. Whatever. ]

Yoda urged Qui not to take Xan as his padawan. Which the master disobeyed. And when the great Green One urges him to take Obi as his padawan (this I picked up from the threads) - he disregards that too - more concerned about his own inability to teach, and Obi's mental state. it appears to me that, far from being the stoic master with emotions in tight check, Qui is much too vulnerable. I suppose being strong in the whirlpool of the Living Force does that to you

 

Oh wow. I'm just in love with this.

This line in particular caught me: But the moment did not change. He had failed, failed in his teaching, failed somehow in his love for the son in all but name, failed the Jedi.


I don't know, it was just...right. All of it was right and perfect and so beautifully described. I can't think of one thing that could be improved, or should be altered in any way. It's fantastic, diane. Seriously one of the best things I've ever read.

 

Bad Xan! Bad Xan! *whaps him repeatedly on the head with rolled up newspaper*

Good job, dianethx! Really good job!

 

Oh that was so heartwrenching! Poor Xan... all he could think about whas 'What did Yoda say?' Poor kid...'

Yoda set you up, you ninny not your Master. But in your grief and anger mixed with confusion you assumed Qui-Gon was. Oh well

Loved how you did this! Excellent job on Qui-Gon's feelings - putting 'duty' first each time. Grief...you know I bet he truly never grieved either that's where him and Obi are a like I believe; keeping their strong emotions like that locked inside

Well done!!

 

That was so sad!


Qui-Gon just shrugged. He did not want to think about how right Yoda had been. Did not want to think of anything but helping the Telosians to regain what was theirs. His own problems were nothing, mere trifles to the suffering of others. But, oh how it hurt if he would but let it. So he would not.

"He said that this was to be your last mission, that your arrogance and pride would be your undoing."

It had been spoken with such indifference that it took Xanatos a moment to realized what had been said. And then his anger began to swell, black and red turmoil in the currents of the Force, shadows sinking into his spirit once more. He spat back, "He talks of arrogance."

You portrayed Qui-Gon's heartache and Xan's shock (at Yoda's prediction) so well. And then at the end, when Qui-Gon realizes he'll never teach again (of course, one young initiate will change all that!), just about broke my heart.

WHere is fluff when I need it???


A masterful piece of work yet again!

 

Awww Diane -- break my heart why don't you.. poor Qui... I nearly cried I felt so bad for him.

That begs a sequel Diane The aftermath of dealing with Xani's turn


Excellent job and good luck with the move! THat was almost as much of a treat as having a new betrayal post Great job!!!

 

Wow! That was really intense and so well written.

 

This is a classic! You gave me a wonderfully detailed account of what may have been the most important part of JA. It is so vivid. I could almost hear every movement of Xan?s saber as he stressed his words of hate. This was a real treat to read. I have to remind myself this was ?not? part of the books. If only they were all written so well.

Xan?s distorted feelings and Qui?s pain is felt so easily. Even understanding how Xan could feel like he does. I think Qui-Gon would rely on his jedi life to try and stop the hurt... it did not work.

And Qui-Gon Jinn knew then, with perfect clarity, that he would never teach again.

Never.

I really liked that end and the added ?Never? but we all know how that turned out.

*takes a deep breath* The beginning of two destroyed spirits. This may be better than the prequel!

 

Oh excellent! Brava!

That was, as others have said, just heart-wrenching. Poor Qui-Gon. And I almost feel sorry for Xan when he finds out his father did remove all that money. If he has any shreds of decency left inside him that ought to be a heart-breaking moment for him. Though apparently he still isn't going to accept responsibility for his own actions.

Now all we need to do is get you to rewrite all of the JA and I can die content.

I'm for some light and fluffy myself now.

KD

 

When Qui-Gon looked again with faith that there might still be a chance, however slim, to redeem his Padawan, deCrion just smiled, bitter and demanding. Sapphire eyes, colder than the depths of space, stared back. Xanatos stood there, gauging the Jedi's reaction, almost reveling in the vulnerable trust that shone in the Master's face, allowing the hope to build.

Oh, this was so gut-wrenching. Qui-Gon is just hoping this is all a bad dream and that Xanatos will come to his sense, and Xan can see that and lets that hope build just so he can crush it. Such a manipulator.

"If so, you would have fallen long ago."

Yikes, a that bit.

A wonderful ending for these three posts. I like how knowing what Yoda had said just inflamed Xanatos even more and Qui-Gon's grief that Yoda had been right.

I don't blame Qui-Gon. I wouldn't want to teach again after that either.

 

Wow. This was simply stunning.

I confess I do not understand why you consider it AU. It seems to fit in with the books perfectly. Indeed, it is much deeper and more believable.

You get the feeling, reading the books, that the writers simply thought it would be cool to let Qui-Gon have a fallen apprentice. There isn't much development on the causes behind it--you just assume that Xanatos was evil from the beginning, so there you go. Q.E.D.

But there must have been something good in the boy for Qui-Gon, honorable Jedi that he is, to love him so deeply and think of him as a son. Such a tragedy that it did not last. And very understandable, that it tore Qui-Gon apart the way it did.

This was a marvelous study of the way it (possibly)went down. You touched on profundity numerous times. Brava!

 

Princess_A Thanks. I am a slow writer, though. This took me three weeks to do and drove me crazy to boot. And as for moving again...NOOOOO. LOL
Thanks. A few people have told me to rewrite the JA (not just here but other times) but I would be writing it the rest of my life and never have time for anything else - and I have many plot bunnies to feed, first but thanks for the suggestion.

Xan is a complicated character. I always thought that, although he is pretty evil by the time we see him in JA books, he must have had good in him for Qui-Gon to choose him as Padawan. I have written him as evil as a teen/young man but he really is more gray than anything.
As for believing the worst of Qui-Gon, remember, he had believed that his father was afraid that Qui-Gon would harm him. When he killed deCrion, what was Xan to think? There was grief and anger and confusion all mixed up and then Qui-Gon talking about the money and Yoda's prediction, no wonder he went off on the wrong tangent. It will hit him hard later that his father was the one that played him false but it will be too late. And he'll have to blame Qui-Gon for some of it. That and the power/money that he will enjoy will lead him down the darker path.

As for Qui-Gon being vulnerable, I see the character as exceptionally vulnerable. That's why often he seems so stoic - holding it in, not allowing the pain to overwhelm him.

I just love writing Qui-Gon.

Thanks.

LE Thanks. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. It was quite a struggle for me but I'm glad it came across well. I like to write deeply-emotional things (as you know) and this was certainly one of them. I am quite pleased at how it turned out and I'm glad you are, too.

Musing LOL. Good thing his lightsaber is destroyed or the newspaper would be pulp! Thanks.

Knystar I love to do heartwrenching! And, yes, I'm sure that Qui-Gon grieved but not enough to purge those despairing emotions. Which, of course, sets the whole scene up for JA.... Thanks

more replies later. Got to go to work.

 

VaderLVR64 I'm sorry I broke your heart! but it needed to be done. What? You haven't found the fluff yet. There's got to be some around! Thanks!

Layren Thanks. I meant to do it....LOL. And a sequel - no sequel. You know how I feel about sequels... they make you spend 2 years of your life writing the sequel. NOOOOOO. Thanks for asking though. And I won't say that I won't, not really but I can't promise anything. I have to write more Betrayal first.

Moving tomorrow....

DreamOfKenobi Thanks for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Altaira Thanks... I do try the best I can. I'm just thrilled that it came over well enough for others to enjoy. This is pretty much how I figured it would go, based on the snippets I remember from the books. I didn't have them to consult (since they are all packed away right now) so I did the best I could! I'm glad you liked the ending so much. So did I
Thanks so much.

KD Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. I agree that Xan is not going to be happy to find out that he's been duped by his father and has thrown away his life for a lie. But I figure he'd blame Qui-Gon for not making him see things clearly but I could be wrong.

Rewrite all of JA?????? NOOOOOO. It would take me a lifetime to do that and I have other stories to tell. But thanks for thinking of me!

Light and fluffy sounds good right about now. Thanks.

Noi I love that you picked that section. I wanted Xan to be going further down the dark path in his anger and you picked it up! And I loved that you also chose that other line. I wanted to have Xan make a nasty comment at that point. Glad you found it!

I agree. I don't think Qui-Gon would have ever gotten over it if Yoda and Obi-Wan hadn't come along. Thanks for reading!

maychorian Thank you. That's a lovely thing to say. As for the AU, I was hesitant about whether I'd gotten the motivations of Xan and Qui-Gon down right so I put it more in the AU catagory. Plus I didn't have the books at the time and I wasn't sure if the storyline was right. Glad that you enjoyed it so much.

I'm thrilled that you think it's deeper and more believable than the books. I do like to fill in the blanks...

Xan had to have more motivation than just being evil. Even in the other story I wrote with him as the villain, he had motivation.

Yes, Qui-Gon would have been torn up about it and would have never taken an apprentice again if Obi-Wan hadn't come along.

Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.


I'm moving as of tomorrow so I might be offline for the weekend. Thanks to everyone for their comments. It made my week!

 

A great story showing the break between these two men and the impact it had on Qui-Gon's relationship with Obi-Wan.

 

BrokenNose Thanks. I had fun writing it.

 

I feel so guilty for not replying earlier. Sorry about that.
I absolutely loved this story. You captured Xanatos slide into darkness, how he goes from confusion to sorrow to hatred, so perfectly, as well as Qui-Gon's denial and his desperate hope to the last that his student can somehow be redeemed, despite knowing in his head that it's not possible at this stage.

You managed to get across how it must have looked for Xanatos. First, his father tells him all those things about Qui wanting to discredit him and then he finds his Master killing his father and therefore confirming suspicions which he had probably already harbored, but had denied until this moment.
I loved how you showed Qui-Gon becoming more desperate by the minute and Xanatos giving in more and more until there's no way out.

This was a wonderful story and filled in the gap in the JA-series very nicely. But then I always thought that some of the writers on this board should rewrite it. Your language amazes me again and again and I enjoyed reading this very much.

 

That was beautiful Diane. I just felt like I was there with those two in the hurt and dark feelings.

You taught me that love leads to hate."

So sad. And you write Xan very well! All the turmoil in Qui-Gon's mind just poured out. Loved it!

 

Indra Never feel guilty for replying - even late.
Thanks so much. I wanted Xanatos to be somewhat sympathetic, not the complete evil person he is in the JA books but someone that Qui-Gon loved enough to defend and yet turn him into a reclusive Knight when Xan turned. Glad you thought I was able to do that. Big sigh of relief.
Also thrilled that my motivations for Xan's turn wasn't so out-there that it didn't ring true. I had a lot of trouble with the balance - not too angry in the beginning but building in waves toward a climax. Very happy that you liked it!

Thanks,too about the JA gap. I always thought it should be filled and some people have done a wonderful job of that but I wanted to try it myself. Glad it turned out well enough!

Thanks for reading.

tangled_sphere Thanks. I loved that sentence, too. Tried to get the old Yoda verbage in there. Oh, glad you enjoyed the way I wrote Xan. He was fun to do.

Thanks!

 

Awwwww.... Why didn't I click on this sooner? This was beautifully written.... B-E-A-Utifully. Love the way I could almost hear Qui's heart shattering. And the braid being thrown into the blood... er wait. Doesn't a lightsaber cauterize wounds?

Haha...still... this is one of the best fics I've ever read. The description of opulence in the first post just makes my piggybank squeal with fright.

Power to your fingers!

 

darshaassant Thanks for the lovely comments... as for the question about the braid being thrown into the blood... er wait. Doesn't a lightsaber cauterize wounds?
We had a long discussion about that very point over on the Obi-wan thread. While most people think that the lightsaber cauterizes wounds, there are a number of instances where there is blood seen at the wound site - Maul's body shows a spray of blood after Obi cuts him in half and, in ANH, when Obi cuts off the arm of the guy threatening Luke in the cantina, there is a lot of blood on the floor next to the cut-off arm. So I figured that there would be blood wherever there was a cut site... maybe the lightsaber cauterizes the skin around the cut but not something deep...

Anyway, glad you liked it, blood, opulence and all.