Before - Legends ' Clasp , : A rescue, as two pieces fall together into one. (h/c Qui-whumping, angst) *COMPLETED*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Charmisjess, Apr 2, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 31, 2003

    Author's Note: This fic is written for and dedicated to Laurie, or as she is more often known on these boards, Layren. Because I owe her a thousand and one fics, and I promised her I would write her another Qui-whumping fic someday. :D

    I hope you like it. @};-


    Light up, light up
    As if you have a choice
    Even if you cannot hear my voice
    I'll be right beside you dear

    It was a terrible, terrible place.

    The narrow hallway sloped down deeper into the stillness. Around him, metal closed in from all sides, stifling out light, fresh air, anything that might suggest life. There were no allowances made for living things here. The very recycled air itself was laced with death. Distant echoes of pain blurred bloody smudges, fingerprints of violence all over the force. This was a slave cell block.

    And somewhere down here, Master Dooku was certain, was Qui-Gon Jinn.

    He could feel him, even still. Even after everything. The reflection Qui-Gon cast into the clearness of the force had always been distinct, from the time he was that little boy charming flowers in the Temple gardens to now, smothered under pain, and shame, and darkness.

    The darkness. Dooku could taste it like a lingering kiss, sultry, clinging.

    He must mind his steps in this place.

    Striding an arms-length in front of him was the cell-keeper: a sinewy, reptilian male of the Sussil species. Dooku could see the greyish-brown scales of his back glinting faintly in the oily light. Sussili were disgusting creatures in their own right, horribly cold-blooded and unnaturally mannered things. But this specimen was particularly offensive. This creature in front of him was Tsarmir ?ya: infamous slaver in these parts. And far worse yet, this slaving reptile had his child somewhere locked away in this meat fair.

    Dooku followed the slave master further down into the cells, quietly. Smoldering.

    How he ached to slice it into serpent mince right here. But Dooku rather prided himself on his ability to recognize that some battles were better won without immediately lightsabering those who stood in the way of true justice. Sometimes, missions required a dab of finesse.

    And, anyway, he really wanted Qui-Gon back. Preferably whole.

    So, cut to the charade. He would play the snake?s little game.

    His lightsaber was back on the ship. It had been difficult to leave it there, far more difficult than he had imagined. Without its steady weight at his hip, he felt as if he might get carried away, anchorless.


    But it was far, far worse imagining what would happen to the boy he had sworn his very lifeblood to protect if this rescue failed. Slavers, this group in particular, were merciless. More damning yet, they knew Qui-Gon was Jedi. That made everything so much harder, so much crueler for the boy.

    Officially, or, as much as it concerned the mission, the Council, and the records, Qui-Gon Jinn was already dead. Dooku knew of Masters, sane, logical, brilliant Masters in the Order who had been faced with similar situations: a Padawan taken by slavers, or pirates, who had simply walked away. Who had called it the will of the force, and grieved, but walked away. But that wasn?t going to work, not with Qui-Gon.

    This would be brutal, and difficult, perhaps, but not impossible. Not for him. There was possibly no one else in the Order who might have been able to pull this act off, but Dooku knew that he could do it more than he knew anything. Another Jedi would hesitate, wonder about the unifying force, the meaning behind it. Dooku would act as he must. Sometimes, being jaded was as much a blessing as a curse. In this instance, it was going to save Qui-Gon?s life.

    It wasn?t going to be easy. Nothing worth having in life ever was. And Qui-Gon, he had decided, was thoroughly worth having.

    Tsarmir stopped, abruptly. The hall had emptied into a foyer of sorts, where a lone guard stood. The slaver nod
  2. micky-nikki

    micky-nikki Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 31, 2005
    Oh wow what a captivating beginning! I really enjoyed your characterization of Dooku. It was extremely real and vivid. Great job hope you update soon!
  3. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 28, 2003

    Oooh you finally posted it!! Yay!!!!! Good way for me to start the week, but bad for Qui it looks like. :D Poor baby. I hope he gets lots and lots of mush after this. I want to give him a hug.

    And then he heard it. The downfall. A soft, child-like, incredulous voice. A voice that knew it was being left behind, and couldn?t understand why. Qui-Gon?s voice.


    Awwww I just about melted. Poor Qui.

    Poor Dooku having to go through that and poor Qui at the end of the post. He'll be so confused.


    I can't wait for more :D
  4. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 16, 2005
    Oh, my, break my heart will you? What a way to end this chapter!
  5. Fifilla

    Fifilla Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 9, 2006
    How hard must that be for Dooku to leave his Padawan! :_|

    Very angsty but wonderful story - please update soon!
  6. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 31, 2003
    micky-nikki: Aw, thank you. :D I love playing with Dooku's perspective. The next/last chapter will be in Qui-Gon's, though. Thanks so much for reading though, I really appreciate it, and you taking time to review.

    Laurie darling: I'm so glad you like it. :D Yes, Qui shall be a wee bit bewildered. Poor kiddo.

    Valairy_Scot: Sorry! :) I promise, next chapter we get very mushy. Thank you for reading!!

    Fifilla: Thank you! :) Yes, Dooku certainly bit off more than he could chew with this rescue business.
  7. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 16, 2004
    So full of wonderful angst. Oh, poor Qui-Gon. :_| I loved the way Dooku was described, wanting to go back, and reining in his anger, yet wanting to clobber 'em.

    More soon, please. :D
  8. SakuraTsukikage

    SakuraTsukikage Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 24, 2005
    Wow, great job. Dooku is a difficult character to pull off, but you did it perfectly. And I echo Valairy_Scot--break my heart, why don't you? Poor Qui! :_| :_| :_|
  9. kenobiwanobi

    kenobiwanobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 26, 2005
    I don't normally read Dooku/Qui fics but this is so wonderful it may change my mind about them!

    Please PM me with updates!
  10. -Darksaber-

    -Darksaber- Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 22, 2005
    As Qui-Gon stumbled to his feet, Dooku backhanded him in the face.

    The blow connected.

    Ow! Poor Qui-Gon....Hope Dook can get him out of there soon...

  11. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 10, 2002
    Can you hear the rain of shards? That's my heart breaking.

    Oh. My. God.

    Everything. I don't even know where to start - Dooku going back after Qui-Gon even though the wise thing to do was to leave him behind Poor little Qui-Gon! And then...

    Dooku did realize how pitiful this sounded, really, he did. ?I?want this one.?

    He couldn't. He just couldn't keep walking. No matter how essential it was for his ruse.

    The darkness. Dooku could taste it like a lingering kiss, sultry, clinging.

    There's so much at stake right now - their lives, Dooku's soul.... I am holding my breath in anticipation.

    Please do you have a PM list? I'd really appreciate getting updates since I don't usually lurk here. [face_praying]

  12. Stella_Ripple

    Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 29, 2005
    :_| Oh, this is heart wrenching! *sniff* Poor Qui...poor Dooku! It's obviously killing him to have to go through with this, but this line really hit me It's got to be done well, if it's got to be done at all
    But it's going to be very difficult to pick up the pieces of the reality of their partnership after this, isn't it [face_worried]

    A wonderful and very moving story! =D=
  13. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    I really liked how you portrayed Dooku. He's cool and calm through the whole thing when he'd like to gut the slime. I loved that he was walking away from the "deal" because that's how you bargain. Sometimes, that's all you can do. I loved how you got Dooku to act the slavemaster and hit Qui-Gon. I think the boy will understand eventually. But the idea that the other Masters would abandon their own just because it was the will of the Force - how chilling and not very compassionate.

    Great job. Looking forward to more.
  14. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 31, 2003
    Ack, I'm afraid I've fallen ill, in addition to all my work madness, so the next part is taking a bit longer. But thank you so much to my readers! :)

    Princess: Eep, it's been a long time! [:D] How've you been?? I'm so glad you're liking my angst. :)

    SakuraTsukikage: Ooh, thank you! I adore Dooku, I always worry about whether or not I'll pulling him off correctly.

    kenobiwanobi: :D That makes me very happy. Qui-Gon/Dooku stories are rather under-loved, there aren't many out there, and Qui-Gon and Dooku have some of the best dynamics. Of course, I would say that, being a Qui/Dook writer. :rolleyes: :D

    Shall PM!

    -Darksaber-: Yep, poor little Quigs. :( He's going to have a rough time readjusting.

    leia_naberrie: Leia! :) I'm so glad you're liking this! Thank you so much for your beautiful review, I was feeling a little dismal about this fic. Its a sad place for them. But things will get better, I promise. :) I will definitely PM.

    Stella_Ripple: Yes, I'm afraid they're in for some rough times. :( But it's Qui and Dook, they'll come through. :) Thank you so much for reading!

    dianethx: Thanks, Diane. I supposed the 'will of the force' idea could be terribly misused in some cases, and Dooku is likely to remember them well with his general criticism of the Council. Oh, and I'm so relieved you like my Dooku. He was being troublesome for this part especially. Next section I'm switching to Qui-Gon's head, so it should be a little easier. :) Thank you.
  15. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Ohhh, so very painful to read, though I understand why Dooku acts the way he does. Superb beginning.
  16. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 7, 2005
    Aw, poor Quiggy.

    I like the way you write Dooku. I can still see how he can end up as the character in Ep. 2, but now he's real and sympathetic, with his own quirks and strengths.

    Looking forward to more!
  17. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 31, 2003
    Healer_Leona: Thanks!! Yes, he's in a bit of tight place here. Sort of damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. :( *pats him* *is bitten*

    maychorian: Thank you. :) Dooku is great fun to write, he's very complex. I'm afraid sometimes I write very mundane plots, because the character is the fun part for me.
  18. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 16, 2004
    How are you feeling now? Better?

    Just an up. :D
  19. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Dec 16, 2004
    It has got to be done well, if it?s to be done at all. Dooku felt Qui-Gon trip on the lead again, and knew it was time. He didn?t want to hit him in the chest as his ribs looked at best precarious from the beatings, and an internal injury would cause all sorts of nasty complications. would have to be...

    Ooooh, the Dooku portrayal is just marvelous. He's aristocratic and stern, but he's still a Jedi. In the movies, he's a fallen Jedi, but he had to have that core of light in him earlier. This story's Master Dooku falling to the dark side would been as much of a tragedy for Qui-Gon as it was for Obi-Wan with Anakin. And poor Qui-Gon; I really hope that Dooku can make it up to him.
  20. Charmisjess

    Charmisjess Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 31, 2003
    Author's Note: Ahem. *straightens up, tries to dust coffee stains off shirt, eye twitches slightly* This post...almost killed me? I really shouldn't be working on it during finals, but I did, and it's taken me forever, and now I'm done. :D Thank you to my readers for waiting so patiently!

    I'm not sure about how it came out, but I have to give a big shout-out-thank-you to Laurie, for helping me beta this sucker/giving me the go-ahead to post. Laurie, it probably wasn't very fair or nice of me to say "I'm going to write you a fic!" and then make you beta it. ;) And my yelling "cut!cut!cut!" while you were trying to read was probably disconcerting. But thank you, I appreciate it so much. [:D]

    Also, notice how this chapter coincides with the Qui-Gon Jinn Discussion Thread's 'Kill Qui' challenge? Need some sickeningly sweet mush to combat the dead!Qui? Yes, I thought so. :D

    And I'm feeling vaguely out of control, so I think I'm going to shut up and actually post now. ;)

    On with the show!

    ? * ,

    The blow connected.

    He would have cried, if he could have only found the strength.

    Qui-Gon?s hope slid to the floor with his body, and shattered into multitude of tiny pieces. For a moment, he lay still, simply reeling. Dooku had...hit him? It wasn?t enough that he was frightened, and exhausted, and beaten in every sense of the word, but he hit him, too?

    And now it had come to this. His nightmare had spun out so widely that it had touched reality, or at least, whatever paltry, twisted bit of it he had left.

    ?Get up.? Dooku?s voice. He sounded so strange, like he had a head cold, maybe. It wasn?t that, Qui-Gon thought, dizzily. It was something else, a tone he had never heard before in his Master?s voice, as addressed to him. A new voice, to add to the catalogue of subtle variations in Dooku?s speech.


    He couldn?t take it, so he squeezed his eyes shut. The black came as a comfort, like blinds to a frightened animal. His world faded over, muffled, and it was somehow better this way. He felt a hand descend out of nowhere and pull him up by the shoulder. It hurt, but he couldn?t bring himself to care about pain anymore. The fatal blow had been struck. Now it was just to the dying.

    He kept his eyes closed for the rest of the way, bumping along, half-dragged by Dooku. He shut down as much of himself as he could and still be breathing. The force was gone, he couldn?t see, but the trauma was still pouring in. He could smell the dampness, the lingering stench of the prison even as they moved. He could feel it on his skin. He could hear the slaver, and painfully, painfully Dooku talking back and forth.

    It was hard to make sense of the words. Something about a Serenno bank account.

    Payment, was the broken realization.

    Qui-Gon opened his eyes, but kept them fixed down on his feet, bare and cold on the metal floor. Distantly, he noticed that they were bleeding, cracked open by the constant abuse. At least that explained why simple walking had become so agonizing.

    Under his ragged feet, the metal changed to gravel. Dooku was pulling him faster now, and he couldn?t keep up for as much as he tried. Time fell forward, and he could smell something like rain. It was getting colder, brighter around him. His chest hurt, and it was getting so hard to breathe. And then they were going up the ramp into a ship.

    Dooku let go, hurrying passed him, through the passenger space and into the lighted cockpit. Qui-Gon stumbled behind in the master?s wake, as awkward as any leaf displaced by the wind. He felt lost, horribly disoriented in his new surroundings. He took a stumbling step backward, and then another, until he felt the cold support of a wall against his sore back.

    Dooku was bent over the ship?s controls, entering coordinates furiously. As if feeling the boy?s eyes, he spoke, without turning. ?Sit down.?

    Qui-Gon felt himself slowly slide down the wall, too exhausted to even consider disobeying Dooku?s quiet command. He hadn?t said it gruffly, or even wi
  21. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 7, 2005
    What? The end? [face_shocked] No!

    Well, I've been watching this update for a long time, so I'm very glad to see it. Thanks for taking time during finals! I know how rough that is.

    And wow, it was worth the wait. I had tears in my eyes through most of it. I was especially touched when Dooku told Qui-Gon that the price meant nothing to him, that there would always be currency, but only ever one Qui-Gon Jinn. [face_love] And his gentlenes with the hurt Padawan, his patience and grief for him, the way he distracted him while giving so much of his own energy . . . it was all very sweet, yet indubitably Dooku. And his factual little decision, "We'll make this right." I hope it is that easy!

    Anyway, I would love to read more about Qui-Gon's healing, and theme re-establishing their relationship after these traumatic events--especially with the issue of trust--but I could also see how you'd end it there. It's satisfying as is, in its way.

    Thanks so much! I enjoyed this story immensely.
  22. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 28, 2003
    See I told you so!

    Qui-Gon shrugged again, making a conscious effort to actually talk out loud this time. ?F-for...? He coughed, struggled, gave up, and reverted back to the force. For causing all of this. For getting captured, and everything. He blinked back new tears. That was the worst of it. had to pay a lot of your money to get me back. I hardly think I?m worth it.

    ?Stars end, child, how could I put a price on you?? Dooku smiled fondly, brushing the boy?s hair back with one hand. ?Don?t be ridiculous. There shall always be currency, but only ever one Qui-Gon Jinn.? He carefully squeezed his shoulder, suddenly intense. ?You are...worth a me.?

    That was my absolute favorite part... I was such a pile of mushy goo... just love. I could read a dozen more pages just like that... *happy mushy sigh* Just what we need with all the kill Jinn fics threatening to pop up.
  23. kenobiwanobi

    kenobiwanobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 26, 2005
    Do you have any tissues~?

    Wow that was just...amazingly done...I def. like this and it has def. chnged my imnd on dooku/qui fics...congratulations, cuz that was something I thought would never change!!!!!!!!!!

    great job with this story it really was wonderful!!!!!
  24. Fifilla

    Fifilla Jedi Youngling star 3

    Mar 9, 2006
    Wow, that was hard stuff! But very, very nice and heartbreaking, you captured the emotions so very well!
    Thank you for sharing this story =D=
  25. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Jun 25, 2002
    Ohh . . . that was sweet, seeing that side of Dooku. It didn't seem OOC at all, actually, despite the later . . . um, little Sith incident. After all, Anakin was capable of loving people before his fall. Arguably, it was the fact that he loved to fiercely that *made* him fall. It could easily have been the same with Dooku. Sill, he remains the Count here, very much in command, and there is something . . . what? Just a touch controlling, about his insistance on offering things that Qui-Gon doesn't want, although it's true the boy does need some of them, and a responsible guardian looks to a child's needs before his wants. At any rate, I was able to believe that this curiously gentle, impatient-to-cure man was just a different form of the cold and elegant Sith we meet later.

    Young Qui-Gon was just heartbreaking . . . he'd been beaten down terribly, but remained the stoic Jedi throughout, whether he noticed or not.

    There were some very nice details--the moth bumping against the light, Qui-Gon finding his hands held by Dooku after the binders were removed, Dooku trying to imagine that something, somewhere, was "fun." :p

    A lovely angst-ridden h/c piece--it was the expert drawing of the characters that made it memorable. Thank you for sharing it with us. :)
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.