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Saga - OT [DDC 2017] Doaba Ke'demii - The Diary of a Young Comradette (OCs | ANH/TESB) - COMPLETE, e-book soon

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Ewok Poet, Jan 3, 2017.

  1. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    On the third day of her visit, Aunt Lumia aka SARLACC OF XYQUINE got sick. And she blamed us for it and said that the lunch at Old Berrsia was a deliberate plan to poison her and ruin her vacation. WHAT. WHAT. JUST WHAT. She said that I was immature for suggesting a popular restaurant in the first place and that they should cook a new batch of stew for each visitor. Uh, they might do that and poison-checking, which she claims is STANDARD on Xyquine for Their Majesties and important Government and Army officials, but not in a heritage restaurant. WHAT DOES SHE EXPECT? And why does she think that I would harm her? She’s unbearable when healthy, nobody in their progress-loving mind would want to deal with her when she’s sick. Did she come here to put us down, break us even further and torture us?

    She did, however, accept to have lunch with us, at our apartment, because it was raining outside. I made a point that her tours would have been ruined by the rain and she did ignored that remark. Mom made her coogaflower and ground bantha casserole with DoTal brand string cheese. I am surprised that the grouchette-comradette had nothing against it and that she did not say that Xyquine cheeses are superior to about every single thing on Sacorria.

    Then she had a walk around the place – she said that it’s not good that our windows are facing North, that we should always put the lid down on the ‘fresher because our “balance of the Force according to the lost teachings of the Aing-Tii monks depends on healthy surroundings”. After that, she left something on the seat and it was definitely not water. I think we have different ideas on things such as health and cleanliness.

    I thought that I would have the time to sit down and write a long report on what I did at the pond during the week and draw the Scalefish and compare them to those in Mammon Hoole’s “Life of the Animals”. I also wanted to try and write my first datacode from that book Gredda conveniently included in the datapad’s plastoid carrybag. At least show my name on the screen or something. Or make a roleplaying game with Brave Little Banthas, Ebe got me hooked on that again and was surprised that Jan and I were mad about it in basic school. Just…ANYTHING OTHER THAN DEALING WITH LUMIA.

    But I was not lucky. Lumia wanted me to accompany her for a walk and a visit to that “Celestial-chanelling Drall healer”. Of course, we had to head all the way to SoSacc, to dad’s old neighbourhood. I told her that his parents and Aunt Iris used to live there and she nonchalantly asked me if Iris was dead, too. No, she is perfectly alive and we are not telling her that you’re around because we do not want one more person to suffer from you, you…old Hutt!

    The Celestial-chanelling Drall healer looked fishy to me…and mind you, I work with fish and my dad loved to fish, so I have a fish-sense, or something. His name was Foggo and he claimed that he was paralysed from waist down and that he managed to overcome it. I asked him how, he said that he was assaulted by a vicious green non-sentient piece of scum back when he lived in FedDub. I said that I was sorry to hear that and Lumia told me to shut up, then she apologised and said that younglings should not be talking that much. I was then told to remain in the lobby, while she went to the healer’s chamber – looked just like another plain Drall-cave to me, by the way – strip to her undergarments and lie on the special bend for chanelling the energies of the Architects of the Galaxy. I CALL POODOO. But hey, at least I did not get to see her in her undergarments. That would have been worse than the Battle of Yavin.

    She meeped and yelped a couple of times – apparently, this Foggo who healed his own bones by these VERY COSMIC POWERS was helping her get her joints in the right place. He peeked out from behind the curtain a couple of times and winked to me, then signalled that Aunt Lumia was a bit of a wermo. TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW. Now…his legs didn’t look very natural to me. The fur was kind of synthetic and the toenails were too shiny. I still think that he’s a scammer, but at the same time, I don’t feel sorry that he scammed Lumia….if he did, that is.

    We walked through the parks leading to CenSac for good two hours after this session and Lumia did not seem to mind that it had started raining. She talked about typical Xyquine desserts and I said that Progressina’s Jam & Spoon, the little patisserie-tapcaf located on the banks of Aruglia serves all kinds of great things. She said that the two of us should definitely go there for a treat and asked me if I agree. I nodded.

    One hour later, we were back at her hotel and I did not think it was appropriate to mention that she promised to raise my blood sugar levels and all. After all, she’s pure carbosyrup. She then went on and on about her husband, Lichen Lucé, a natural-born Naboo who hates Naboo and would never go there. He said that the Naboo were hypocrites. Then he talked about the Blockade of thirty-whatever years ago and explained how the Emperor, then the planet’s senator back on Coruscant, did not handle things right, because he didn’t have the Declaration of New Order available. I asked her what does she mean, she said that all the Gungans and Neimoidians should have been disposed of. That would have prevented the Clone Wars and then-Republic soldiers like her Lichen would not have witnessed the horrors back on the “barbaric” word of Neimoidia where the Neimoidians ate their pilot alive.

    Minutes later, she talked about her pet avians, Zuwe and Duwe. I asked her what kind of names were those and she said that beings who speak Pak Pak say “funny things like that”. Then she vocalised it as “zuzuzuzuzuzuzu weeeeee dududududududududu weeeeee”.

    There are times when I question the Tarkin Doctrine, really. Sure, some species are inferior, but this is too much.

    Once I was finally able to go home, my happiness didn’t last that long. The cover on my light speeder did not activate, the sensors kriffed up and the seat was soaked with rain. I got soaking wet, but at least I could take a nice ride and avoid the arrogant landcar owners that don’t like seeing lightspeeders in higher lanes. I did what I always do when I feel bad – hovered over the very confluence of the Seven Rivers for a while and looked in the water. And just then, I had this stupid fantasy that is way too Empress! For my taste – there was no Porky, there was no Jax, there was somebody quite unlike either – neither portly, nor muscular, rather frail-looking and sporting a full mane of beautiful hair. He had a huge smile like Jax and seemed kind of absent-minded like Porky, but he was listening to me and he wanted to take a look at what I wrote. He had eyes which were – gosh, this is not progressive – like mine. This greenish brown kind. And he was not short like Jax, either. But not really tall to begin with. Like…normal, I guess? Around 175 cm. The ideal height for Humans as advised by the Imperial Doctrine, but not the Book of Law, which says that men under 180 cm tall are too short.

    And we…kissed. On the lips. Is this because I once kissed the viewscreen when Jax was on or because Porky kissed me only twice and smelled of chyntuck chutney the second time around?

    I think Tendra and Zana are a bad influence. I am starting to fantasize about these Prince-on-white-equines types. And I don’t want a prince of any kind. Princes equal monarchy and monarchies are not progressive enough. Cue: Lumia and her constant talk of Xyquine II’s alleged progress. Cha, as Kutuya would say…cha, I am totally listening, except that I’m a droid and my circuits have all jammed.

    Anyway…maybe my subconscious-whatever is smarter than me. Had I thought of Jax, MY REPULSORLIFT WOULD FAIL and I would have drowned in seven kriffin’ rivers at once. SEVEN. Not that the number seven means anything anywhere else than on Sacorria. Grannos have their obsession with fours, or so Great Aunt Larax told us. I asked Porky to get me a book on that from Estainia, but of course, he didn’t.

    When I realised that I had four – what a coincidence and irony – missed comms from mom, I hurried home and almost hit a semi-working Saygo Triad a couple of blocks from home. The pilot, an elderly Selonian male was humming instead of talking, I apologised, sped up and disappeared as fast as I could have. Mom was angry, but at the same time, she was glad that I didn’t blast at Lumia. I was close, and I did say so.

    It turned out that she did. They had a long holocomm err, battle after my visit and I could see that mom was crying – she told Lumia about dad’s day of death and how insulting that gift was, she said that I was not allowed to wear colours other than orange until I am done with lyceum and university studies and said that it’s not fair to change plans like that. She accused Lumia of not being able to keep up with own promises and Lumia remained colder than the Grotlo Cap. Mom played me a recording of that and I…I wanted to smash the holocomm! Sure, mom is mom, but when she says we’ll go for dessert, we go. When she pays for lunch, she does. And we have far less credits than Lumia!

    Glad I have this datapad to just push bad things out of the airlock. And weird things, like that prince-pateesa.

    Mom would not like me to use spacers’ lingo.

    Mom would probably call me uneducated for writing Xyquine and not Xyquine II. BUT SHE CANNOT SEE THIS. If I want, I will call it Rearsine XVII and SHE WON’T BE ABLE TO TELL ME THAT I MENTION REARS TOO MUCH. Now, what would she have to say against that, anyway? Dad used to comment on rear-ends of every single being on the viewscreen and mock men with large rears or no rears at all. There was this one time where he said that one could play dejarik on Pretty Dadanna’s lower back!!! Perhaps he and I should have had our own viewscreen show, since I feel like my whole life is a romdram, anyway.

    Let’s try that.

    Hello, audience.

    Nah, just kriffin around with you, progaway!

    // SUBMIT DATA




    Footnotes
    Coogaflower and ground bantha casserole with cheese are fanon, so is DoTal brand string cheese and Xyquine cheeses.

    Aing-Tii monks are absolutely canon.

    Lumia's belief, however, is based on Feng Shui and a partial parody of it, and is therefore, yeah, fanon.

    Mammon Hoole’s “Life of the Animals” would be a GFFA equivalent to Alfred Brehm’s book.

    Datacode - Code snippet. Fanon.

    Carrybag - Carrying pouch. Fanon.

    If you have read the epilogue of Letters Never Sent, you should be familiar with Foggo and aware of the extent of his injuries.

    Progressina’s Jam & Spoon is a little patisserie tapcaf on the banks of Aruglia, about 1-2 km away from the Seven Rivers Confluence.

    Carbosyrup is canon.

    Pak Pak is the official language on Neimodia and in their "purse worlds"

    Zuwenda! means Surrender! in Pak Pak. Zuwe and duwe mean nothing. Lichen is a kriffslider as much as his wife is.

    Cha - Yes in Drallish, or at least Sacorrian Drallish. Fanon.

    Lightspeeder is a cheep Saygo vehicle made out of recycled landspeeders (or "landcars" in Sacorrian slang), an equivalent to our bicycle. It can be used as - like its name says - a very light speeder, carrying max. two beings, or, in some models, the repulsorlift technology can be turned off, the aerodynamic parts can be tucked in and it can function like an exercise device. Think of it as a bicycle with superpowers.

    Chyntuck chutney was created by Chyntuck as a Wookiee food to be used in her 'verse and it's mentioned in her fanon entry here. I can imagine it to be...EXTREMELY oniony? Garlicky? Definitely not for an "average" Human digestive system. And Doria is a wuss, much like me.

    Vagranite obsession with the number 4 is related to their Neo-Pagan beliefs and will be elaborated on. Fanon.

    Saygo Triad is one of Saygo models.

    Grotlo Cap would be Sacorria's Southern Pole. Fanon.

    Pateesa is a Huttese word, meaning "dear", "friend" and such. Canon.

    The very end of this entry is very meta and you won't figure it out, so don't even bother. :p
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2017
  2. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    More of the unfortunately named aunt! Wow Aunt Lumia is truly a gem; is there anything that isn't vastly superior on Xyquine? Equine poodoo, perhaps? Love that she prides herself on being so intelligent and cosmopolitan and yet she's taken in by every piece of holistic new age woo available. Interesting that feng-shui is apparently a thing in the GFFA (or would that be Aing-Tii?) and I'm guessing that there are some sort of cybernetic implants or artificial limbs underneath the Selonian faith-healer/chiropractor's synthetic looking fur. Like Doria, it's kind of hard to feel sorry for impossible Aunt Lumia, even if she is being scammed.

    Doria's fantasy--or perhaps vision-- about the average-except-for-a-glorious-mane-of hair stranger is quite interesting, too, particularly as he resembles someone she'll meet in the future. And GASP, she fantasizes about kissing him ON THE LIPS! Scandalous! This fantasy kiss, with not quite average guy, is a contrast to both the total fantasy of kissing Jax (on the screen) and the disappointing reality of onion flavored Porky kisses. :p

    Good for Maris, for calling out Lumia and, for once, standing up for Doria, though making her listen to the call seems a bit much.

    And it wouldn't be Doria's diary without a few mentions of rears--six times in this entry;) Another quirky quirk of her father's too, it seems. But that remark about Pretty Dadanna--:mad:

    Loved seeing the mentions of Mammon Hoole and the Brave Little Banthas:)
     
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  3. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Thank you, everybody. :)




    Are you 100% sure about that? Maybe even that is wastly superior on such a special planet?

    He's a Drall and yes, that's what it is. [hl='black']He got beaten up by a stray Dulok so.badly.[/hl]

    PORKY KISSES FROM ANGRY MACE: NOW WITH ONION FLAVOUR.

    That was creepy, wasn't it? :eek:

    And yup, this fantasy might look like a vision, or maybe, just maybe, she knows what she wants, but she won't admit that to herself.

    Sacorria = weird paranoias.

    I'm sure Elesandre would said the same about a male entertainer, so no worries. It's rears that count here, not gender. XD


    :D :D :D :D

    And thank you for commenting. This entry seems to have been...challenging?
     
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  4. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
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    TODAY WAS THE BEST DAY OF THIS YOUNG COMRADETTE’S LIFE. THE BEST EVER. THE MOST PROGRESSIVE ONE. I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LUCK. I CAN’T. TO THE POINT WHERE I DO NOT CARE WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW AND I TOLD LUMIA TO KRIFF OFF ALL THE WAY TO VO WHEN SHE SAID THAT SHE DID NOT WANT ME TO ACCOMPANY HER TO THE SACORRIA CENTRAL SPACEPORT ON HER TRIP BACK TO XYQUINE II. BUT THE BEST PART? I WAS GOING ANYWAY. WITH TENDRA, OUT OF ALL BEINGS. I MIGHT PROCLAIM HER THE FOURTH MEMBER OF THE TRIAD AFTER THIS – JUST JOKING, OF COURSE – BUT SHE IS THE ONE WHO MADE THIS HAPPEN. SHE AND COMRADETTE NOLA.

    I need to be more disciplined when it comes to the capital key, or return to . That paragraph looked like yelling.

    BUT WHO CARES? JAX JAX JAX JAX JAX JAX JAX JAX JAXXXXXXXXXXXXX! YES, YES, YES, KRIFF, YES!

    So, this morning, Tendra Risant commed me and I did not pick up, because I didn’t feel like Tendra Risant and her girly-fluffy stuff. But then she commed my mom – not sure how she had her commcode, mom does not give away that kind of poodoo to anybody randomly – and said that I need to accept the incoming comm because she has a huge surprise for me. Mom asked if it was related to Porky and Tendra said that it was about Jax, but that it had to remain among us.

    Long story short, Jax is recording a Saygo holovid for the offworlders! Some really progressive comrades over at CESA managed to get a hold of him during the break between Kuat Drive Yards Pride and Empire’s Historic Stroll of Naboo. Wow, he probably DOES have progressive values deep within, underneath those gorgeous Stormtrooper-armor-like pecs (tee-hee) if he chose to come here rather than practice for one of the most prestigious events of the podracing year. Oh.My.Triad. I still cannot believe that all of this was indeed for real. Comrade Jhorn, Tendra’s dad, hired the two of us and Jan as the assistants during the tours of Sublata and Curheg, the filming in the Western Steppe and the dinner back home in Sacorria – ironically, catering from both Old Berssia and Progressina’s Jam & Spoon.

    We sat in Comrade Jhorn’s Saygo Greybear and dashed away to the spaceport. Of course, we bumped into Lumia who was arguing with the security droids over her “holistic medicines from the Triad Mountain”, I did want to stop and help her, but she was pretending not to know me. Whatever, nothing could have spoiled this Slagday, not even the very being that spoiled last week’s Sarcoday and Sacorday and this week thus far. NOT EVEN HER.

    Jax came out of the offworlder-control booth carrying only a single backpack and he had his specs on. HE LOOKS SO GOOD WITH THOSE, I nearly died right there, I swear by Sacor! Comrade Jhorn waved to him and he came along and introduced himself to us. Tendra then said that Jan and I were huge fans. He cocked his head, looked at me like one of those legendary Corellian spacers, complete with the lopsided grin and asked “Even during a season like this?” I nodded frenetically and Jan was barely able to utter a “y-yes”. Jax then gave us an even broader smile and a hug. He said that the newsflimsi around the Sector and the whole of Core Worlds have not been that kind to him, we said that we still believe he could be the champion one more time.

    He sighed and said that the only media that really liked him all along and never called him arrogant, other than our own, was Crevasse City Communal Post-alert of Alderaan. Then he shook his head and said that “now, with Alderaan gone, it hurts even more”.

    It was our turn to cock our heads. All of us but Comrade Jhorn, who signalled something to Jax and said that yes, Alderaan’s newsflimsi and holomags are facing a huge financial crisis that he hopes will be solved. That was, well, notably different from what Jax said, but he smiled awkwardly – HE IS SO CUTE WHEN HE’S AWKWARD – and confirmed that it was so, saying that he had been suffering from spacelag. Then he winked at me, but it wasn’t creepy like it was when that Drall healer did. He asked me if I own a landspeeder. I said that we call those landcars, which might come handy for the commercial and that I need to complete my piloting lessons. I chuckled, blushed and asked him if he could give me one. Comrade Jhorn apparently thought I was flirting with an offworlder and quickly retorted, saying something in the lines of there being a tight schedule. Jan snickered. He hangs out with Dak too much, if he finds the word “tight” funny.

    I…I don’t think Jax thought of my comment as flirting at all. I did not attempt to flirt, I would not like his schutta to suffocate me with her synthflesh stormies. I quickly changed the subject to those cursed repulsors in his pod. He said that CCR engineers were working on it and that they need to use the same setup they did on Kuat, so he could, perhaps, finish in points. He then added that it feels weird to be a champion one year, then literally gone two years later, with one out of twelve races finished and no points, whatsoever. He added that it’s like that limmie thing with Alderaan and Sacorria and Comrade Jhorn interrupted him again, to say that, yes, we were lucky to win because Alderaan was disqualified from the Galactic Cup and we were the best of the teams that didn’t qualify.

    Seriously, what’s up with Alderaan?

    Probably nothing much. Whatever. What matters is that I got to meet my idol, my wookiee-ookiee. Of course, mom had WARNED me not to call him that, but I’m smarter than that, I’m not some random protocol droid, I’M A SENTIENT AND HUMAN. And since I am the only being shorter than Jax – he is only 168 centimetres tall, which makes him even cuter – I got to stand next to him on the holo that will be published in Prog, Comradees! tomorrow. ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEWSFLIMSI. And he HUGGED ME.

    I am seriously going to explode of happiness, as if the Universe’s most powerful laser had hit me!

    The trip to Sublata was vaguely interesting – poor Jax had to go talk to the CEO of ProSper, somebody called Grandia of Pelayn, this Drall with annoying pink lipstick and a white ring that looks as if she could stab somebody’s eye with it. Comrade Jhorn followed him, the three of us remained outside. Jan was finally able to form a coherent sentence and asked me how come that I could actually utter any words around *our* Jax. I shrugged. I really, really didn’t know the answer to that. I am not shy around the beings I feel this sort of a connection to. I got into a couple of minor languages because Jax speaks fluent Frozian and some Huttese, and he is the first famous person crush that my friends do not mock me for. So, yes, I would call that a connection and it would have been insulting if I had not been able to speak to him. Not sure if I could tell him any of this, though.

    Grandia of Pelayn, with a whole group of GR-series security droids, took us on a ride down the Sublata River on her private, translucent waterglider. We were instructed not to engage, but she spoke so loudly that I could hear every single detail of her conversation with Jax. She showed him the translucent bridges, said how they’re covered with ice during the long, Corelle winter and that one of them is dedicated to the founder of the city, the mythical Iasonné. Jax smiled, asking if that was the hero known for his expedition from Abatore on Vagran to Vagran System’s mysterious planet, Kolki and she confirmed it and said that he was very progressive. I am not sure if he agreed with this story, it didn’t look like he thought it was plausible. But he was so cute when he doubted things. Or maybe he just needed to use the ‘fresher real bad.

    We then travelled to Curheg, to see the ProSper factory. Thankfully, that did NOT include a trip to the Droid Refurbishment Facility. I would not like to see those droids ever again, thank you very much. Sadly, another strange Drall, Ysne of Nar’cees joined us and she seemed to be oddly impressed with Grandia of Pelayn – it was like watching two convorees feed one another with each the contents of each other’s crops. Then again, Sacorria is all about crops, after all.

    Let’s see how long this takes…and we still have the actual filming and the dinner to attend.

    // SUBMIT DATA




    Footnotes
    "Proclaiming someone the fourth member of the Triad" is a forbidden, albeit not unheard of slang idiom among the Sacorrian youth. Essentially, a great honour.

    Empire’s Historic Stroll of Naboo is obviously another fictional podrace.

    Saygo Greybear is one of Saygo models, named after the planet's most dangerous predator. It's some sort of a small speeder-van.

    Crevasse City Communal Post-alert is the publication Viridian-Maiden wrote for the Galactic Correspondent round-robin.

    Spacelag would be the equivalent of jetlag.

    Synthflesh stormies - Yeah, sillicone breast implants.

    Sacorria's route to the Galactic Cup is elaborated on in another story, Life, Death and Other Goals. Basically, Sacorria was let compete despite average results during the qualifications, since, well, Alderaan was destroyed. If you want this to get even more meta than that, go read footnotes for that story.

    Prog, Comrades! would be a Sacorrian daily newsflimsi.

    Grandia of Pelayn is wearing the same Gwerlayne Interstellar pink lipstick wore by leiamoody's character Mariklare Trindello in The Song Hour. The cosmetic line itself was created by Chyntuck and it was elaborated on in her Fanon thread entry on Galactic fashion houses.

    For the fanon elements and fictional backstory of the city of Sublata, as well as how the said story relates to the real world, go read my fanon entry on Sacorria
     
  5. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 2008
    EP - Sorry I haven't replied in a while. DRL's been keeping me busy ... [face_blush]

    Glad to see Lumia get called out by somebody. And I do think I've been a bit too snippy toward Maris, if she's willing to stand up for Doria. :)

    As for our protagonist - glad she got to meet Jax. But the pure repression of the truth about Alderaan, and her unknowing, ironic "laser" comment ... :(

    (And yes, she needs to stop being quite so obsessed about rears. :p
     
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  6. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    All right, catch-up accomplished! :D For me, it wasn't so much that #8 was particularly challenging (dealing with challenging texts is my job! :p ), but that it was on the long side compared to some of the earlier entries, and I just had a lot of RL commitments keeping me in decapitated-chicken mode this last couple of weeks. Also, I'll admit that it was a bit difficult (emotionally rather than textually) to read yet more about Lumia's horrendous, poisonous bad behaviors. People like that have just no idea how much misery they cause their families, do they! :( But I'm glad that she's out of the picture after this entry, at least for the time being.

    Now to the actual reviews...

    8: Said it before but it bears saying again... Aunt Lumia is truly toxic! [face_mad] Where does this horrendous false accusation of attempted poisoning come from? And what's with this business of criticizing aloud the home where you're being HOSTED by FAMILY? It's nice that Doria gets at least a bit of respite to continue with her pond research and to hang with Ebe and the Brave Little Banthas (yay! :D ). But then Lumia drags Doria along to a "celestial-channeling healer" and humiliates her some more? Oh for the... (But yes, Foggo... I do seem to remember that name, and I also remember the [hl=black]green scum who mauled him back at the end of Letters Never Sent[/hl].) And this dessert-outing-that-isn't-really sounds like it was just pure misery—situations where toxic family members jabber on and on and on about themselves are bad enough when they're not one-on-one. :( It's good, though, that Maris eventually got up the courage to confront Lumia about her insensitive behavior—shows she has a lot in her worth saving from the fire!

    Now, this vision or fantasy or daydream of Doria's is very interesting. I think this is the first time we (or at least I) have seen Doria having an experience of this sort; up through now she hasn't seemed to be the type who's susceptible to premonitions or visions or that kind of thing. And being by now fairly familiar with your oeuvre and universe, I am pretty sure I know exactly who this flowing-haired, average-sized "prince-pateesa" is. ;) It's kind of cute how Doria immediately tries to dismiss the vision/experience as "unprogressive" and too Empress!-ish—her haste to do so may just go to show that this may indeed be her subconscious kicking in with a hint of what she really needs and wants.

    9: Wow! :eek: Jax himself on Sacorria to do Saygo ads? And in such a way that Doria gets to meet him? What an amazing opportunity! Doria really deserves a lift like this after all the misery she went through with her aunt's visit. (Interestingly, her aunt does pop up briefly here—but it's so wonderful to see Doria in such a good mood that she can shrug it off.) Jax seems like a very friendly fellow, nice and down-to-earth for a celebrity, and it's nice to see Doria and her friends having the chance to engage in a nice, genuine, sho-'nuff conversation with him. And Jan shouldn't be taking her to task for talking to him. Why in the Galaxy shouldn't one talk to someone one likes or is interested in (in whatever way, and yes, I know it's not a romantic thing here)? Life's just too short not to. :D

    And now for the dark undercurrent to this otherwise perfect Slagday... "What's up with Alderaan, anyway?" Well may you ask, Doria... "what's up" would indeed lead to things like "financial crises" and "disqualification" on many levels. :( It says a lot that everyone's being so guarded and hush-hush about what REALLY happened there, as if they thing that's going to somehow deflect people's curiosity about the truth—when it's actually doing just the opposite. All that plus the "Universe's most powerful laser" comment... just... yeow! :eek:

    Now I find myself wondering at what point Doria WILL learn the real truth about Alderaan, and what effect that will have on her and on her relationship with things like her homeworld, the Tarkin Doctrine, etc. [face_thinking] ) But since I know that probably won't be for a while (unless it isn't, because surprises of that sort are not unheard of in your stories ;) :D ), I'll be content for now to be curious about how the filming of the Saygo ad will go, and what the dinner will be like. Hope nothing will happen at either event that will spoil Doria's happy mood!
     
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  7. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Thank you so much, for reading and commenting. :)




    Hope it's also treating you kindly!

    Maris is complex, though she may appear to be a typical hater-of-everything type. If you have a look at http://boards.theforce.net/threads/...-completed-april-03rd.50040093/#post-54154296 , you will see how she was treated when younger and what happens when she meets somebody she really likes.

    I am glad you noticed the laser comment - it was meant to be unknowing and ironic in the first place.

    "It's easy for him to say that when he's sitting ON HIS REAR!"
    - Doria

    I don't think aunt Svetlana would be happy to know that her nonsense and idiotic behaviour suddenly appeared in another universe...BUT BO-HOY, DO I CARE. :D In a way, it's my little revenge for how she bossed us around for a whole week back in October. As Daffy Duck says, I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!

    And I am aware of your decapitated-chicken mode - it's more efficient than my normal mode.

    In real life, there was no poisoning on purpose, just "taking me to the worst restaurant ever", and the other thing was all about FENG SHUI. You know, the toilet bowl needs to have its lid down OR YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK.

    *shivers at the possibility of this person visiting again*

    Anyway, I'm leaving this explanation just in case somebody thought I was making things up. Almost ALL of it happened for real and it did come from a totalitarian hippie nationalist racist.

    Foggo must be a heckuva scammer if he can end up on Sacorria and likely have all the necessary flimsi that make him Sacorrian. You definitely recognised him.

    She already did, when she saved Ebe! But I know that you know. :D

    Doria does not have the Force, but for some things, one doesn't even need the Force. Knowing what you want and dreaming about it is enough...I think. :) You got that one.

    And you're right. ;)

    I got that from situations where male fans end up being those who almost faint...I couldn't resist. Jan is confused that Doria is not confused. :p

    And yup, Jax is nice, unless he's in the mood for his random rants against pretty much everybody.

    I am glad that you spotted the laser comment.

    And Jax was probably not aware that he would be more or less made shut up on Sacorria, or at what level of, well, ignorance, they are. Neither were the Sacorrians aware of how he may connect things.

    She might be swinging back and forth, not knowing what the truth is, too.

    And no worries, it won't. :D
     
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  8. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
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    // The BEST Commercial EVER
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    I must have been unprogressive, since I had fallen asleep at the Youngling Hall of the ProSper factory, that Jan, Tendra and I were left at while everybody else had a meeting. There is no other explanation so as to how I woke up covered in Saygo toys, surrounded by giggling, thin Selonian girls who recited what appeared to have been the commercial’s text over and over again. I asked them how come that they had it before Jax did, and they were all excited to tell me that they were the ones picked to present it to him. And though the three of us were assigned to watch them, I fell asleep and the other two ended up playing a seemingly endless game of dejarik with a group of Human younglings, excited to see two Red Shirts from the Homeworld’s biggest city. When I approached them, they stepped back, because their parents had told them that orange was the colour of discord. I have never experienced this before, but my Selonian girls were excited to have me back. We ended up doing a circle-dance to the words of the commercial and the melody of “The Tale of the Brave Pioneers”.

    Finally, the meeting was done and, as we expected, the two Drall women were to join us at the filming, and the Selonian girls boarded a larger shuttle with a lect-aide droid in charge of them, one that looked suspiciously like those that had assaulted me at dad’s funeral. The trip to the Western Steppe wasn’t that long and we got some real nice hoverseats at the Saygo testing polygon.

    Jax wore his CCR podracing suit and his trademark helmet. The Saygo had to be covered in decals of his sponsors’ logos, among them ANGRY MACE™ and CCCigarras, the venture that made the CCR team possible and financed the refurbished Nubian engines from Starfighters of some half a century ago. So, that is why his pod always fails? What kind of a scheme is this? To deprive him of his credibility?

    Either way, the test run was trouble free and Ysne, the Prime Comradette – not a Duchess – of Nar’cess remarked how our vehicles are superior than some podracing equipment. Jax smiled sheepishly and then said that the CCR pod is like a lady, because it’s always so quick to get down to business. It took me a minute or two to understand the joke, but I didn’t mind it. Jax has always been a naughty boy!

    We finally went back to Saccorata and got rid of Ysne, who followed the Selonian girls back to Curheg. The dinner venue was a spectacular floating one above the Confluence and the droids that brought the catering from Old Berssia and Progressina’s Jam & Spoon were gold-pleated and kind of more progressive than the regular ones. Apparently, they were reserved only for the MOST SPECIAL of the SPECIAL guests.

    Once we sat down, Jax was told that Yvar Trindello wanted a quick chat with him. I recognized the name of the army-something-man married to Karlina Yaihe and, indeed, the two of them joined us. Karlina didn’t touch anything on the platter with entrees and she just swung it over to Jan and I, with a wink. Since we already had Tendra’s entrees (fad diet again, this one’s called The Talfaglio Fire Cleansing!), we ate until we were absolutely stuffed. I tried to follow the conversation as much as I could, but I could barely hear anything from the sound of our own chewing. If I could understand that well, Comrade Trindello and “his trusted friends” wanted to possibly start a podracing team and have it use Saygo engines. I was not sure if Jax was laughing at him or with him, but there was a point where he rolled his eyes behind his spectacles and pushed my foot under the table. Not sure what was that supposed to mean.

    Trindello and his wife excused themselves after about an hour, because they had a sponsor dinner to attend elsewhere in the city. I told Tendra that this might have been the reason Karlina didn’t eat, but Tendra remained convinced that they had been on the same diet, according to which you, among other things, skip dinner. That’s not progressive. Being hungry stops you from performing your tasks.

    Jax refused our famed Sacorrian Whiskey and asked for a box of cartons with ANGRY MACE™ Special Edition with REAL MILK. I have never seen it before. He came to our end with the table and sneakily fetched us a couple. I could see that comrade Jhorn was not approving of this, but hey, Jax is a Core-wide racing STAR and he does what he wants to do, right? He eventually gave up and went back to his conversation with the Pelayn whatshername and Jax seemed curious to learn about our everyday life. Jan was tongue-tied again and Tendra generously let me speak. He would interrupt me after every couple of sentences to ask me what some specific things meant. Looks like he was not familiar with the shirt system, but I was kind of flattered when he said that he would’ve totally been an orange shirt. I don’t think Tendra and Jan liked that, but WHATEVER. I needed this after my experience with those Selonian kids.

    Jan eventually managed to say something. He asked Jax about his rivalry with Haylo Cipesz and that NOTORIOUS, MOST IMPORTANT RACE EVER, two years ago at Kammas Glass Trophy of Aurea. He wanted to know how his idol – yup, he actually uttered that and made Jax blush – managed to react after Cipesz pushed straight into his pod. He was not keen on revealing his secret, but after a couple of reluctant head-shakes, he told us about the reality we didn’t know existed: the cruel world of Outer Rim Podracing. Apparently, the sport originated from there and he had these pirate datacards with races from the past hundred years or so. There was one where a Dug – whatever that is – named Sebulba tried to sabotage the only Human who ever won the Boontha Eve Classic on Tatooine – Anakin Skywalker. He studied Skywalker’s moves during that race and realised that some of his rivals might end up using similar tactics to beat him. And that’s how he managed to defend himself from that vicious attack. I asked him if he was happy when Cipesz had been stripped of all the points he won during the season and had the second place in the general standings taken away from him, he said “You bet.”

    THE INNER PROGRESSIVE GIRL IN ME FELT LIKE SHE WAS THE FOURTH HEAD OF THE TRIAD MOUNTAIN. THIS FEELING IS INDESCRIBABLE. BUT JAX.

    I asked him what his plans for the Empire’s Historic Stroll of Naboo and he frowned. I don’t like a sad Jax, so I asked him what was wrong. He said that this would be the very last race at the Chi-Hem-Keno resort as we know it, because the Emperor himself ordered a team of engineers to cut down a bunch of trees and shorten the track itself.

    THE TREES. NO. THAT ONE HAD ALWAYS BEEN MY FAVOURITE TRACK BECAUSE OF THE TREES. I WANTED TO LIVE IN THOSE TREES. I STARTED CRYING. I TOLD HIM THAT I ONCE WANTED TO WRITE A FANTASY NOVEL ABOUT LITTLE BEINGS PROTECTING THOSE TREES AND HOLDING THEM SACRED.

    Jax hugged me and told me that he is not happy about this, either, but that the Emperor wants his grandstand to be visible to the HoloNet camdroids, many of which got lost among the trees in the past. I asked him if he could make a miracle happen and drive that CCR can to a podium finish. He smiled. He had only finished one out of eleven races this season, so far. But he shared that Chi-Hem-Keno was one of the best tracks and that if he wanted a miracle to happen, he wanted it to happen there. AWWW, HE’S SO CUTE.

    I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS DAY. NEVER. EVER.

    Porky was waiting for me in front of our flat-building. He was somewhat angry that neither Tendra nor Jan had told him about this and he asked if Jax did anything more than shake my hand. I told him about the kiss on the cheek and he was FURIOUS. He said that this should never happen again and that kissing a man, especially an OFFWORLDER, WITHOUT PERMISSION, is outrageous, tartish behaviour. I told him that I was not a tart and he pointed out that I have quite perky stormies, typical of tarts and Twi’lek dancing girls. Not sure what those Empress! writers would have said about it. Perhaps they’re astromech droids writing random nonsense with given words that is then translated from binary to Basic.

    There are the times where I really cannot see my future as Comradette Doria Porkley. I am not sure if that would declassify me or not, but if nothing else, Porkley is a really ugly last name. And Porky’s parents are annoying – comrade Roko is speaking in this military slang that I cannot understand and comradette Gladiola behaves like this one-dimensional housekeeping droid. Gordi, Dak’s mom is less annoying, but if I had to spend any considerable amount of time with her… I’d explode.

    And sometimes, it’s just that…I don’t see myself as a girl who should remain here. Mom wanted to leave to Vagran and live with great aunt Larax and great uncle Denaro, after all. It was dad who didn’t want to go. He never wanted a change, he protested against the Vagranite laws that would not allow him to go wherever he wanted to, whenever he wanted to.

    I don’t know why, what or when, but there’s something really strange about all this – what if Jax told us the truth about Alderaan? In that case, our planet could be…aligned with the wrong ones? If they’re cutting the trees and we honour the nature, how can we be on their side? I am so very confused right now. I need to sleep.

    // SUBMIT DATA




    Footnotes
    Circle-dance would be a GFFA take on hora and kolo.

    The Tale of the Brave Pioneers is a Sacorrian song for younglings, about the alleged brave pioneers that discovered their planet. Fanon.

    CCCigarras is the tobacco company behind the CCR podracing team. Fanon.

    Ysne is a Prime Comradette and not a Duchess of Nar'cees because Nar'cees is an artificially created Drall clan, based around the ProSper's Saygo factory elite, dedicated to keeping the secret of drugging Curheg's people with narco-flowers a secret. Fanon.

    The Talfaglio Fire Cleansing is a fad diet. I...don't want to know if one has to actually swallow fire or not. Fanon.

    The idea of Trindello and "friends" (*three* guesses so as to who they might be!) was inspired by the Formula One team that almost was - Stefan GP.

    ANGRY MACE™ Special Edition with REAL MILK would be a high-end product available only to the chosen ones. Say, Humans of higher status. Fanon.

    This is where you all learn that the Core Worlds' take on podracing was...Human-exclusive. And not many folks knew what Jax did...
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2017
  9. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Hmm. Doria's starting to see some light ... [face_thinking]

    And Porky? He needs to run into some stormtroopers or a member of Death Watch or something. This overgrown man-child is the definition of murglak. [face_pig]:oops:
     
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  10. Kahara

    Kahara Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    Doria's entry titles continue to be a joy -- the Sarlacc one made me giggle. Though Lumia probably doesn't exist to torment her relatives, I can totally see why Doria would think that's the case. Got to love it when people get mad at you for ruining the plans they didn't see fit to tell you about. :rolleyes: And Foggo the healer -- yeah, there's no way that that's even vaguely suspicious. [face_laugh] Was not expecting to see him in that context!

    It's nice that Doria got half a break by getting to go hang out with her beloved Jax Novo. At least he doesn't seem like he's unpleasant in person, which I'd been slightly worried about. The thing about orange being the color of discord is intriguing; I wonder what colors of shirts are non-trouble-making wherever these kids found that idea? (Orange is, of course, associated with at least one kind of discord in the films. :p It does put Doria's orange shirt status in an interesting light, since it means she got systematically shuffled... into a Rebellion-associated color.) Porky continues to cover himself in glory, I see. o_O Because 1) girlfriends are property, and 2) body parts are always the best gauge of women's character. What a creep.
     
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  11. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Hello! I read entry number... hmmm... the one beginning "Poodoo. Kriff!"

    More raucous girly angst - you do it so well. ;) Aunt Lumia is just too much (can't believe she is this girl's, mother's sister!). I think we all have a relative like that - the bit where she insists on paying but doesn't have the credits... I've met people who really do that.

    And Jax finished a race! Another thing I liked about this chapter was that while she lets rip all her complaints about Porky, she gets real defensive when anyone else criticises him. Like "Yeah he's a git, but he's my git."

    And the indoctrination still holds sway as she keeps putting the worst insult of all - to not be progressive - in all caps. [face_laugh]

    It's late here, but I can't sleep - severe stress. So I'll read another chapter now...
     
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  12. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    OK chapter where Lumia gets sick - of course she gets sick - they always do lol. I got lost for a moment when she kissed someone then I read back that it was just a daydream. Haha this stream of consciousness stuff loses me sometimes. Interesting, that little fantasy. I wonder who it is? Someone she's met? Just an expression of dissatisfaction with her progressive life?

    That's the first time we see her questioning the Tarkin Doctrine. The gates have opened a crack.

    And finally mom stands up to Lumia and tells her what's what. Good for you mom!
     
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  13. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Now then, chapter... the next one. She meets Jax!?!!? :eek: Lucky girl, not everyone gets to meet their famous idol crush - and she pretty much holds it together, too. I love how she thinks every little thing he does is "cute". [face_laugh]

    But oh but, he knows about Alderaan and they don't. And surely, knowing what the Empire did there, Jax is not such a big fan of the Empire. Will this knowledge be the turning point in our heroine's life? [face_nail_biting]

    Must... read... on...
     
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  14. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Finished the last chapter. Catch up complete!

    Aha, so finally she's getting it about the Empire - thanks to Jax. And he would totally be an orange shirt ;). You know, I think he might quite like our heroine, a bit, too. He is certainly very nice to her.

    I like how you move the story subtly forward through all the stream-of-consciousness-style ranting and side comments that look irrelevant but are all building towards what I feel like is going to be a crescendo of dawning realisation. Bravo =D=

    K
     
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  15. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    I apologise to the mods, but I will have to bend a rule here and respond to a portion of comments while I have the time for it, and some of them are quite new - I am still responding in bulk and I cannot be upping a thread that's already on the top of the front page, so I hope that this is not an issue. I am surprised at how much more accessible this diary seems to be compared to last year's, probably because it's not THAT dark.

    Thank you so much, for reading and commenting!

    Or Doloria, they're the closest. Unluckily, he is [hl='black']not present at the Deeply Religious concert when they strike a missile[/hl]. I wrote him like a miserable creep who says awful things and I'm, err, glad that they come across as awful as they really are. Hadn't it been for him, Doria wouldn't have been confused about how she looks like and constantly obsessed with what the "progressive" measurements are. That said, I hope those are not 90-60-90 in their world, as that's usually what 12-year-olds look like. :p

    She is DRAMATIC. Like Raissa Baiard's lonely Luke. :p

    Lumia and Foggo, in a way, deserved to meet each other.

    Did you come across the comment where I said that almost all of this was real? I did truly believe that my Swiss!Aunt was sent to torment mom and me at some point. :p

    AND HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY PLANS?

    I wanted to avert that trope. And Jax was based on a person who, at that age, still didn't have the reputation of a womanizer, but did have the reputation of a WOW guy, for a good reason.

    [​IMG]

    Just don't let him get angry with stuff he dislikes and things that matter to him - EVER.

    I...didn't even think of this, you're amazing! When I created the shirt system, I did not even think about the orange flight suits, but since the Oranges are seen as more rebellious than the other groups, it makes perfect sense!

    Once again, I am glad that he comes across as intended - if somebody actually thought he was adorable or went "aww, all boys are horny" or whatever, I would be worried!

    See? It's art! And wooooow, you were really on a roll. :)


    Combine the journal of a mostly lonely teenager in the 1990s' Yugoslavia, add GFFA, mix up events some of which happened as recently as 2016 and imagine the worst kind of a boyfriend in that world (I didn't have one at Doria's age and oh boy, am I glad about that - I think it would've mentally scarred me!) and you get a recipe for a female Adrian Mole and a Harriet the Spy...IN SPACE!

    We all did, but she does have the credits. She's just an inconsiderate person who doesn't care how she will appear to others.

    And no, she's Maris' first cousin. Maris' father, Kambaas and Lumia's mother were siblings. Maris is an only child and that will be elaborated on in a different story.

    But yes, the thing is that no matter how inconsiderate and angry Maris can be, she's like an innocent child next to Lumia, who absolutely doesn't care about anybody other than herself.

    That's the saddest part, too.

    Messaged you about stress. And I'm glad that fics are comforting to you! Happens to me more often that not, too!

    Seems that you are starting to recognise the type of such delightful relatives.

    The latter is true, but there could be somebody matching the profile. Maybe later. As you can see, he doesn't look like Jax and he certainly doesn't look like Porky.

    Imagine how dangerous it is to do that on a world like Sacorria! Lucky, Doria is wise enough to keep it for herself.


    If Maris loses her patience...BEWARE.

    That's what it goes like with idols at that age. :D

    At this point in life, she's too young for him, but he does understand that he has a crush on him and doesn't mind. Unlike Porky, he's not being a creep, which says a lot about Porky, who even gets jealous of Jax!


    She might not have a complete opinion formed by the end, actually. I'm trying to avert some tropes (and I averted a bunch already); but she will have all the information she needs to be [hl='black']vaguely approving of Rebellion[/hl] in The Black Star and that's what we needed all along - an explanation so as to how would somebody on Sacorria, out of all worlds, be like that.


    Whew, that was many comments!
     
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  16. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    Apologies for multiple replies - there's just so much to say I'll forget by the time I put it all into one reply, and I want to do more than just say "Good job I like it". Even after all the above I forgot to mention I lol'd at ANGRY MACE MILK. That's come up somewhere else, right?
     
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  17. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    This starts out as quite the red-letter day for Doria—well, orange-letter day, I guess, technically, given her assigned color, but you know what I mean. :p What a wonderful added bonus that Jax is actually a really nice, likeable person despite (!) being a celebrity, and that he has an actual conversation together—one where he asks about her and her homeworld and customs, and listens and takes an interest. Of course, in the course of the conversation some worrying truths are turned up—this business about the trees near the Chi-Hem-Keno racetrack is clearly is a huge red flag for Doria about just what this Emperor may really be about. [face_worried] But just the fact that Dax is confiding in Doria and her friends about things like this—even exchanging a hug of sympathy with her—is a good sign. I can totally see why this day will make a lasting impression on her, and not just "becuase Jax"—because she got to meet her favorite celebrity—but because Jax turned out to be a nice person. And if Doria is going to learn the truth about Alderaan and the Empire somehow (and I imagine that is inevitable), it's much, much better that she learn about them from a friendly, sympathetic type like Jax.

    On a related note, I love that her realization started with the issue of the trees—the trees whom she once imagined being protected and revered by "little beings." [face_love] Sounds mighty familiar—and [hl=black]prophetic, too, given where she ends up later in life[/hl]!

    And after this memorable, wonderful day, trust Porky Porkley McPorkbutts to rain on Doria's parade with his ludicrous suspicions about what was no more than a perfectly friendly, brotherly hug and a mere peck on the cheek, for crying out loud! :rolleyes: But noooo, my woman can't be having Physical Contact with a Member of the Opposite Sex Other Than Me. And the fact that I compliment her "perky stormies" should totally make up for my scolding, dangit. :rolleyes: I can see that this exchange has engendered some (very rightful) second thoughts in Doria's mind, which is definitely a good sign; she deserves much better than a life as Doria Porkley. Trust your gut feeling on this one, Doria! [face_good_luck]
     
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  18. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    I apologise for being two days late this time. I totally forgot. O_O :p Thank you all for reading!





    By now, you should have seen...

    ...THAT IT'S EVERYWHERE AND THERE'S NO ESCAPE FROM IT. :eek:

    Jax has come from a complicated background (remember how his dad died before his eyes when he was a kid) and he could've been different, but he is nice to his young fans and trying his best to take into account what kind of a planet they live on. It must be impossible to grasp Sacorria from an outside perspective.

    He got the ball rolling - about the true nature of the Empire, but also about how business rules any given world, including the Galaxy far, far away.

    She's mixing a lot of up here, there besa nobody except fo wesa Gungans, but still. <3 <3 <3


    Porky really knows how to keep a girl, doesn't he?[face_sick] It's only Doria's inability to tell him off that keeps them together. Today he's jealous of Jax, tomorrow he would be jealous at a bridge or a house. It's not normal, by any means. And she's started waking up on time!
     
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  19. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
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    This week has been progressive so far, dare I say so. I will snap a grain fly, just in case the will of the Sacor proper works against me again and spoils everything.

    First of all, I fixed my grade the first thing on Titaniday! I wrote about how Tendra, Jan and I met Jax and witnessed the recording of the new Saygo commercial. Comradette Malokio loved that and said that it had been about time for me to write something in true Sacorrian spirit. I could see that Rende was not happy about this at all, because his essay on the different hues of dustcorn hybrids was once overshadowed by something written by somebody, anybody else. AND AN ORANGE SHIRT ON TOP OF IT.

    What followed on Levithaday was another good grade, this time in Comradette Steurpa’s class. She was fascinated by the report I did on the origin of the Perlote Trees of Naboo and their complex relationship with the slug-beetles. Of course, I ended my essay with how the changes to be made on the Chi-Hem-Keno racing course could threaten this symbiosis, as well as cause stress in the nearby Gungan swamp. She required me to add an end note to say that all of this is done for the progress of the Galactic Empire and that the Gungans should not feel pain because they are a lesser species, but she otherwise praised me and said that I am one of the best students she ever had.

    Anyway, the race itself was a proper last farewell for something as sacred and beautiful as the good old Chi-Hem-Keno. THAT MEANS THAT A LOT OF PODS CRASHED INTO TREES. We watched this one at our place and Dak made this awful AWFUL comment to Tendra – that he would like to hit at this one angleberry-blonde voluptuous cheeka the way some of these racers, Kiino Taue in particular, have hit the sides of the Perlote trees. Tendra didn’t pay attention to that and my mother just smirked in her usual fashion. Porky was keen on sleeping, but this time, he had to play with Ebe, the only other being that didn’t care about the race.

    And then…HAYLO CIPESZ WAS OUT. HE-HE. EMPEROR’S PET HAD HIS POD TURN OVER RIGHT BEFORE THE EMPEROR. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS WRINKLED FACE WHEN THAT HAPPENED. HE-HE.

    THEN A BUNCH OF OTHERS CRASHED, TOO. AND GUESS WHAT THAT MEANT?

    JAX IS THE BEST EVER HE GOT ON THE PODIUM. HE GOT ONTO THE PODIUM, LIKE HE PROMISED US. FOR THE TREES OF CHI-HEM-KENO. FOR THE SACRED TREES. HE WAS THE THIRD TO FINISH OUT OF A TOTAL OF ONLY SEVEN PODS.

    The Emperor was surrounded by some weird people in crimson robes. He announced that, in accordance with the Imperial Law, this place will look much better come next year. He also announced that they were going to take care of environment – new trees would be grown in place of the portions of the course no longer used. On top of it, he said that the old course was notorious for major engine malfunctions and that the Empire cares about safety.

    I told myself that I had to find out more about this. Of course, I went to Gredda – whom else? And of course, she had an answer! She visited me after everybody had gone home in-between work and an urgent trip to Coronet City and messed with my datapad a little. She said that I should be able to bypass the SacorNet filter and access HoloNet and BybloNet.

    I wasn’t quite sure what that meant. She then explained to me that the whole Galaxy had been using only a single universal network, HoloNet, since practically the dawn of time. The Empire has whole teams on their fortress world of Byblos – curiously, the same planet that BYBLO toys and the Lightyear Holo newsflimsi are from – writing their own version of reality. HoloNet has this HoloPedia and the Empire has BybloPedia. On top of this, there’s us, the Sacorrians – our SacorNet, she says, censors the Empire’s version of the censored independent knowledge.

    What…just...kriffin’ what?????

    Is…is she trying to say that what we live here is some sort of…third-hand reality? What’s next? Rebels are the good guys and snotty Dak’s snotty quetarra-idol is alive? Bwahahaha. I can’t believe this. But I do want to try something new, anything that would inspire me. After all, I need good grades in order to get to Dorthus Tal Uni, because that’s what dad wanted…though I would have preferred creative writing or combined Basic, Drallish and Mandaba course at the SUPAS myself.

    Gredda then took me out on the balcony and asked me to keep her company while she washed her speeder. By that time, it had gone dark and cold –winter is coming, after all, it’s a surprise that it’s not quite there yet. She pointed a couple of stars in the sky and said that the Galaxy is split in quadrants and that the Imperial Center’s quotes are 0, 0. Then she said that M-10 used to contain the planet of Alderaan, the soul of the Galaxy and the capital of its own system and sector.

    I asked her if Alderaan was gone. She was surprised and then I told her that Jax hinted something like that, twice, before comrade Jhorn Risant cut him short. Gredda shook her head and asked me if I knew who blasted the planet. I said that it was the Rebels and she raised her eyebrow. I asked her if it had, in fact, been the Empire. She nodded, put her hand on my shoulder and said that she finally understands why I am an orange shirt.

    I was not sure what that was supposed to mean. But Gredda just undocked her speeder, jumped in, told me that I am smart enough to figure it out myself and disappeared into the night.

    // SUBMIT DATA




    Footnotes
    What is scheduled to happen to Chi-Hem-Keno pretty much matches the controversial reconstruction of the Hockenheimring in Germany, performed in 2002. Some pictures you may find on the internet are QUITE disturbing in my opinion.

    Perlote trees are canon.

    Kiino Taue is Diva Alovera's team mate. He was inspired by the Jar Jar of Formula One, Takachiho "Taki" Inoue.

    For example of HoloNet and SacorNet articles on a single topic, check out the appendix to the chapter 1 of The Black Star, dealing with the pronk band Deeply Religious.
     
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  20. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Yay for Gredda! And her quiet work to enlighten Doria. =D=

    So, things are going better for Doria - somewhat. (Comradette Malokio still needs her own awakening, but all in good time.) Let's hope she is, in fact, smart enough to figure things out for herself ... [face_thinking]
     
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  21. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    These good grades are definitely good news. Even the infamous Malokio is starting to appreciate what this orange-shirt can do, though naturally she does so through the prism of Sacorrian progressivism and Saygos and the like. I bet Doria's essay was much more interesting to read then any boring tripe about dustcorn hybrids! :p And Steurpa's feedback on Doria's essay on the planned restructuring of the Chi-Hem-Keno racetrack is a very interesting one that reminds us that there are very few black-white dichotomies in this universe: yes, she's generally been sympathetic and supportive of Doria, but she also is very conscious of the Imperial line she has to toe (yes, "toe" rather than "tow"), hence the footnote she has Doria add. Which, at this point in galactic history, is understandable: Doria herself feels the same way. (Though see below...)

    And GO JAX, indeed! So glad he made it to the podium—no small feat given the terrain and the competition, as well as the general circumstances of this being the last race at this track in its current form. :( But it looks like the trees got one final moment of revenge before the axes quite literally fall! Sorry, Haylo, thank you for playing. :p

    Doria's skepticism about the Emperor's pronouncements about Chi-Hem-Keno is a good sign, and I'm not at all surprised to see that the first person she approaches in order to find out more is... GREDDA! [face_dancing] Once again, given what Doria's on the verge of finding out, it's much better that it come from someone sympathetic, and she has no better friend than Gredda. Of course, one can't blame Doria at all for feeling so confused—about the alternate versions of alternate versions of reality being put out on the various networks, about who really destroyed Alderaan. But Gredda's right, she's a smart cookie and will figure it out—it's only a matter of time now. (And the fact that Gredda manages to inject a little humor even into this dire topic shows just how good a friend she is to Doria—I doubt Doria would take that orange-shirt comment with this kind of equanimity from anyone else!)

    The final image the entry is a very haunting one—Doria standing alone in the night, now knowing about that missing point of light in M10 in the sky overhead... just yow. :eek: :( This is definitely one of your darker uses of the stars motif, and appropriately so.
     
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  22. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Catch up time....

    JAXJAXJAXJAXJAX SQUEE1!1! [face_love]

    Okay, now that I have that out of my system... So, Doria finally gets to meet her celebrity crush, and it turns out to be the best thing that could have happened to her, and not just for the reasons she might have thought. Jax seems like a genuinely nice person, despite his celebrity status. He takes the time to really talk to his young fans, and his kindness to Doria is particularly notable since everyone who should be kind and encouraging to her belittles her instead. He's also clearly not stupid, even if he does make some unconsidered and quickly retracted statements about Alderaan...and this turns out to be the best reason that Doria could have met him. These remarks widen the crack in Saccoria's "progressive" façade for her and leads her to learn more.

    And of course it's Gredda who finally cracks things wide open.
    Yes to all... The idea of a third hand reality--a filtered version of even the Empire's highly skewed propaganda! :eek:--is pretty disturbing.

    As usual, Doria needs to kick Porky's porky shebs to the curb. Seriously, taking his horrible last name is the least problematic thing about being his girlfriend.
    :angry: Yes, because anyone who has a certain anatomy is automatically a "tart"...what a Neanderthal.

    Loved the mentions of the Outer Rim podracing tradition, including a young racer by the name of Skywalker, and of course the appearance of ANGRY MACE! Who knew they made anything with REAL MILK?

    Also the description of Doria:
    coupled with Jax's remarks on Alderaan is ironic and kind of darkly humorous.

    Great entries! =D= Looking forward to seeing Doria develop further!
     
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  23. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    gg
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
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  24. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Thank you, everybody, for your wonderful, prompt comments. <3





    Better other than what's going on with the place she likes. As far as Malokio goes, I wouldn't hold my hopes up, nope.

    And Gredda has always been the best ever. :D


    You...wouldn't want to read about the hybrids? REALLY? You need to be a bit more progressive!!!

    That dichotomy is what makes it bittersweet. There's something good about it, this teacher and her ideas make Doria happy, lift her spirits; but at the same time, she will obey to the rules that have been established over the last two decades.

    Haylo kind of deserved it...but yeah, he played. :p

    Gredda knows that humour is a good way for Doria to process something, and she's going for it. That's a huge thing, to know that much about somebody, their mind and their heart. :)

    It was meant to mirror some future scenes in the related stories, yes. :) That's why it's here.

    OH MY TRIAD, IT'S JAX!1!1!!!

    His kindness might serve to show her that not all people are rude, including those of higher social status. He might not be able to get past the "progressive" censorship, nor does he want to; but his kindness is a good thing to think about.

    And Gredda is there to crack the box open...

    Of course. Because if somebody else looked at her, that would be ENTIRELY HER FAULT. Right?

    ANGRY MACE IS ESPECIALLY ANGRY WHEN ADVERTISING A REAL MILK PRODUCT.

    As I said to others, that one was meant to be darkly humorous - or just plain dark. ;)

    She will. :) Thanks for catching up!

    Comradette Steurpa has nothing but enormous respect for Doria and that goes both ways. Even in the Imperial + Sacorrian atmosphere.

    Don't worry, this is a prequel. Doria is kind of apathetic at the beginning of the next story. As for subverters, they're everywhere. If they existed in 1984, they can be anywhere.
     
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  25. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    write a note-compartment item

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    // 1
    // SUBMIT DATA
    // My Last Winter Dance Preparations
    // SUBMIT DATA

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    enter text

    Mom and I were just about to honour our dead up on Sarcophagus one more time before the first snow starts to fall, when Porky cut our air-taxi before we got into it, gave me a bunch of purple irises and asked me if I wanted to be his date for the last Winter Dance of our Lyceum years. I was quite surprised, especially after he had been jealous of Jax Novo and all, but of course that I had said yes! Saying no to what was to be our first anniversary wouldn’t have been a very progressive thing to do, or at least that’s what I thought.

    We asked him if he was to join us honouring dad and mom pointed out that he was never responding to our comms when we would previously invite him, but he said that he had no time. Basically, his dad was to take him to DoTal to have him fitted for a proper uniform, because they had just accepted him into the Sacorrian Army and he was excited about dressing up for the Winter Dance. Before he dashed away, he said that we should hire a tailor on the Cobble Stone Square and come up with something for me that will be worthy of being displayed next to his uniform. I was about to say something, but mom nudged me. I also wanted to say that, on the Day of the Departed, he should have predicted that we would have asked him, but she nudged me again.

    Once we were on our shuttle to Sarcophagus, mom said that Great Aunt Larax was to dispatch something for me and that we should not be hiring anybody else. That was what I had expected. Having a retired garbdesigner as a family member has some perks, after all.

    I had ten quite minutes on dad’s grave while mom went to check if we had paid our Otherwise Arable Land tax. I never understood why that was a thing, especially given that Sarcophagus had been established as our graveyard moon long, long ago, precisely so Sacorria proper would not lose any arable land. But I did not want to ponder on this all over again.

    I talked to dad. Yes, too irrational, Comradette Malokio would probably ban me from writing essays and having feelings forever. For some reason, I remembered one of dad’s numerous lies – that he must have been Force-sensitive I confronted him about it. Then I complained about Tendra…complaining. I said that she was beautiful and that I have had enough of her supposed weight issues. In the end, I had to stop ranting, pretty sure this Selonian couple was giving me weird looks.

    When mom came back, she scolded me for not crying. She did not believe me when I said that I do cry, but on the inside. How can I ever please them all? Those that want me to cry and those that want me to hone their droid ambitions?

    The parcel was waiting for us on the balcony. The postal droid has this weird habit of just tossing them about. Perhaps that one had been originally programmed to work at a huttza place in the Spaceport City Mall and play with the dough. Inside of it, there was a knee-length lightorange dress, with an attached black necktie to go with my black band. Those two requirements had to be fulfilled, the rest was pretty much old Larax letting her imagination go wild: the top part was hard to get into, the bottom part was too flowy. I would have preferred a suit, either way, but girls are not allowed to wear suits at any of the Season Dances. It’s not practical, the rule says.

    The week of tests and exams passed by pretty fast and the Winter Dance came. I was at the pond until about an hour before Porky was to pick me up, Comradette Steurpa and I were breaking the thick ice, so we could evacuate our scalefish to a winter aquarium. Luckily, none of them suffocated from hypoxia, but once I got home, I smelled like one of those Mon Calamari things. Fish people, whatever. Mom was furious and she made me take a sonic – an actual sonic, not a metaphor – we never used that setting before. She also did not allow me to take the muddy red boots inside, said that she would clean them in the morning or something.

    By the time Porky arrived mom thankfully had no time to try to make me wear one of her old pairs of high-heeled shoes or put any make-up on me. And a comb got stuck in my hair, but that was weird. Lucky that she managed to pull it out, though I screamed and that was when Porky entered. He seemed to like that scream way too much.

    Anyway, his dad had this Saygo Sublata rented for the two of us and our friends. Dak was not taking his eyes off Tendra, who wore a long, red dress with one of those slit things and a décolleté – is that the right word – while Zana had something that I do not think she would have been able to walk up the stairs in, and with no back. Must have been feeling cold. They both commented on the length of my dress and said it was wrong. Dak turned away in order “not to see a pair of scary legs” and Jan just patted me on the shoulder. He accepted Zana’s invitation to dance with her at the party proper with a shrug, but it seems that he wasn’t particularly delighted. Maybe he likes smarter girls.

    // SUBMIT DATA




    Footnotes

    Day of the Departed would be an equivalent of All Saints’ Day, Day of the Dead and the like – just not religions. Fanon.

    Otherwise Arable Land tax is the tax paid for each plot on Sacrophagus, the graveyard moon, with no particular reason behind it other than to control beings. Fanon.

    Saygo Sublata is one of Saygo models. Fanon.