Actual stories I wrote:

Luke falls in love with a haunted R2D2.

Luke had a romantic relationship with Mara's mother.

Jaina gives birth to a grub.

Luke and Mara are into kinky role play (I know...that can be more than one of my fics).

Mara purchases slave Luke and makes him clean her apartment.

Luke gets drunk and runs around naked.

Leia improperly touches a Hoojib.

A droid falls in love with a witch.

Luke teaches Mara the love of bacon.

Luke gets turned into a Rakghoul but is saved by love.

Luke makes out on a Ewok fur rug.

Luke and Han are the main dish in a banquet.

Luke isn't the father of Ben Skywalker.

 

Excuse me, but I thought these were supposed to be bad descriptions. That blurb there just makes me want to read the story even more.

Here’s my contribution: a rich kid in denial goes on a wild goose chase, is bested by the goose.

 

Okay so... Here's a bad one:

Rey and Kylo fight over laser swords. The furry carpet chokes on Porgs. Han dies. So um. yeah. Review please?

 

Emo sequel trilogy manchild annoys Legends characters minding their own business and then Mara Jade gives him a Force wedgie.

 

A teen becomes a mother to a clone of her father.

Not posted here.

 

1. Sassy Goth chick that would make Siouxie Sioux hang her head in shame goes to a place where everybody looks like a stool and is really stupid; then she kills everybody in the name of science. It had to be done. But as we already said, her style is flawless!

2. Young believers encounter a suspicious cult on a prolonged roadtrip. An incel is angry with the friend who has a girlfriend because he never had a dad and that somehow makes sense in his head. A tramp appears to spread her conspiracy theory. There is a very angry brat with Napoleon complex as well. The main guy is not involved with any of this at all because he is busy fostering children.

3. A true icon of the very end of the second millennium decides that he pretty much had it with the current state of the Universe overall for undisclosed reasons and suddenly becomes very educated, has an enormous appetite and falls in love with everything. You are never going to believe what happens next! I probably won't either.

 

An Asian short-clawed otter lays an egg. (Not the show biz "I laid an egg, my act flopped!!" but a real. actual. egg.)

 

This sounds like Marquez meeting the dadaists.

 

Some teenagers get into a clique war with a group of kids in a gang started by a high school dropout.

Which is the sequel to:

Everybody plays hot potato with a thirteen-year-old girl.

 

Luke does something different from the movies and stuff happens.