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Mod!Challenge Determined....Clue Response...Humor

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by KELIA, Sep 26, 2013.

  1. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 26, 2005
    Title: Determination
    Time period: Pre-ANH
    Genre: Humor
    Characters: Darth Sidious
    Author's Note: This is my response to the Clue Challenge

    Character: Darth Sidious Action: Baking a cake Location: Death Star

    Darth Sidious stood regally in the small kitchenette, hands folded on top of each other and tucked neatly under the folds of his black cloak. “Ridiculously small,” he thought, “but it will do.” With a grunt, he crossed the length of the room in three steps and immediately began gathering the ingredients his loyal apprentice made sure would be available.

    His bent and shriveled hands were surprisingly quick as he poured the liquid mixture into the dry components and began to mix. He almost felt like humming, but controlled himself. It was bad enough he had to make his own life-day cake and he’d be damned if he would enjoy the process. “Of course, I probably already am,” he mused with a grin as he evenly applied the silver baking pan with the Galaxy’s best non-stick spray.

    It wasn’t as though there weren’t any volunteers willing to make his cake. Sidious knew full well everybody on the Death Star would be thrilled with such an honor…the problem was, he couldn’t trust any of them, not even Lord Vader not to poison him in the process. Treachery was the way of the Sith and just about everyone else in the Empire, thanks to him and he wasn’t about to fall victim to his own methodology.

    “Just about done,” he hissed, stepping back and raising his hands. Twin bolts of electricity cackled from his fingertips, catching the baking pan full force and instantly burning the contents.

    “*#@^#@~!” Sidious swore just as an alarm began to beep and the overhead sprinkler system kicked on. He sighed deeply as the door slid open. Stepping outside, he ignored the panicked Ensign running towards him, fire extinguisher in hand and began walking towards the next living quarters across the corridor “I’ll get it right eventually,” he shrugged. There was going to be a cake at his life day celebration that night if he had to burn down this entire wretched station.
    GrimdarkRose, Ordo N-11 and Jabari like this.
  2. VanishingReality

    VanishingReality Jedi Knight star 3

    Apr 21, 2013
    I can disprove this story.
  3. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Hilarious fun.
    Sidious is an enemy of the firedept too[face_laugh]
  4. mavjade

    mavjade Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 10, 2005
    Bah ha ha!!! That was hilarous!
    The mental image you created here was so much fun! Especially the Force lightening at the cake!

  5. Tarsier

    Tarsier Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jul 31, 2005
    That was great! Very funny! :)
  6. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    May 15, 2005
    [face_laugh] <----- My reaction to this very funny viggie. Hee!
  7. Chilla

    Chilla Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 30, 2005
    [face_laugh] That was so funny! Short, but so entertaining. =D=
  8. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Chosen One star 5

    Nov 1, 2004
    Ha! You mean you can't bake using Force Lightning? Who knew? :p
  9. Jabari

    Jabari Jedi Master star 1

    Jun 25, 2007
    Nothing worse than having to bake your own Life Day cake. :)
    Jade_Pilot likes this.
  10. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Dec 10, 2005
    [face_laugh] TOO funny!