JCC Embrace The FU - Formerly the STAR WARS IS BAD thread

@Sarge

I love 'em

 

glad to see threepio finally getting baked. boy did he need it.

 

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

 

What's funny to me is, if Palpatine comes back (as awful as that is), I would actually understand his motives better than those of the ST villains.

I can see Palpatine having a contingency plan, something like... if both I and the Sith lose, then I'll do something that'll destroy the entire galaxy so no else gets to rule it. They've established his character enough for us to know that he's vengeful enough to do it and clever enough to lay the long term plans for it. Plus, he's menacing enough that he feels like a real threat.

I really still have no idea what's motivating the ST villains.

Why does Snoke want to overthrow the New Republic? Does he think dictatorships are better than democracies? Did he love the Empire? Is he doing it to get rich? Who knows?

What about Kylo? Well, Snoke seduced him, but we have no clue what Snoke is after, so we don't have a clue about Kylo. (and at least, Kylo comes across as confused and conflicted).

Then Hux. Well, at least, we know he hates disorder. So, I guess he's a neat freak.

So, having totally failed to develop threatening villains, they've painted themselves into a corner and here comes Palpy.

 

Just like with Return Of The Jedi!

 

Killing Snoke in Last Jedi wasn't good storytelling, but it was genuinely surprising and wildly funny.

 

That shot of his lower half slowly sliding off the throne while Hux looks on in horror was one of the best black comedy moments in the franchise.

 

That's exactly how I experienced it. An elbow-your-mate moment.
And we were never there for the great storytelling in the first place.

 

You just can’t appreciate the subtle nuances of this franchise, like how Han expects to be paid because he’s in this for the money.

 

George drove that home so hard it ended up biting him in the ass with all the "Greedo shot first" hoopla.

 

Doesn't everyone's eyes turn red when witnessing the prequels?

 

I like this theory. 3PO gets his memory back, but upon remembering "This is podracing" he snaps and goes on a murder frenzy.

 

Like Master like Droid

 

Get that droid some visine.

 

I was gonna keep my red arm... but I got high...

 

Way cooler (i'm sure it's a coincidence that he's from Melbourne):

 

I know people here don't like it, but in other canon material Palpatine does exactly that post-ROTJ (see: Operation Cinder).

 

However dumb it was the first time, it just got exponentially more stupid.

Why would he sabotage everything if he intended to come back within a single generation?

 

Because he's evil, obviously.

 

The 1812 retreat from Moscow.

 

So Palpatine is in bed with Russia.

 

Yes, he'll have a corny Russian accent in IX.

 

Well, Lucas contacted McDiarmid at the same time as Fisher and Hamill when he was ready to reveal his Sequel Trilogy plans (but before he announced he would be selling to Disney).