JCC Embrace The FU - Formerly the STAR WARS IS BAD thread

Han's "sorry about the mess" gets a little more poignant with each new iteration.

 

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… or at least until something worse comes along.

 

For the "Star Wars has always been bad" crowd, I think that the Greedo scene in its many iterations -- including its original one -- is a great example of this.

The original Greedo scene and its many flaws:



1) Han knows that bounty hunters are after him, yet he's so unaware of his surroundings that Greedo is able to get the jump on him with incredibly clever strategy of simply stepping in front of him from out of frame with a drawn gun.

2) Han clearly has a gun in his holster, yet Greedo is such an idiot that he inexplicably doesn't force Han to immediately hand his weapon over to him.

3) Still inexplicably not caring that Han is armed, Greedo doesn't demand that Han keep his arms up and above his head as they talk, allowing Han to gain access to his weapon.

4) Han doesn't immediately shoot Greedo when he has his gun unholstered at the 42 sec mark but instead allows Greedo to keep speaking for another 15 seconds, even though Greedo could've shot him dead at any moment during this 15 second span of time.

5) Even Chewy is a moron here, as he knows of the bounty on Han, yet (as seen in the 1st 3 secs of the clip) he's completely oblivious to Greedo stepping in front of Han with a gun, and he continues to walk away never recognizing that Han has suddenly disappeared and isn't walking side-by-side with him.


Here's the problem with keeping our focus on each of Lucas's re-edits: everyone is making a mistake in thinking that Lucas is trying to improve the scene by recutting it again and again. His goal is totally different. By presenting us multiple versions of the same scene -- each stranger than the one before it -- he's cleverly attempting to force us to deconstruct our original perception of the scene and get us to recognize one simple fact: the Greedo scene has always sucked.

 

Nice of Lucas to add more backstory for Greedo. I hope we see more of clan MacLunky in the Scottish highlands.

 

I never assumed George was tinkering with his old Star Wars movies to improve them. I always thought it was mostly about him cleverly attempting to entice us to buy essentially the same content over and over and over.

 

I never really cared about George Lucas tinkering with his old movies, and I don't see the use of buying them.

 

I think it's hilarious that people were hoping for Disney to release the theatrical cuts and instead got another nonsensical addition.

 

yes but it's really sublime. Maclunky isn't translated in subtitle, which makes it a mystery that we have to solve or at least speculate and argue about. By "we" I mean someone else besides me obviously, but still. Have at it!

 

Maybe his nickname for Han is Clunky and he's really saying "M'Clunky."

 

No, it’s proof that Greedo knows his true identity. As we all know, Han “Solo” was chosen because he’s all alone. But Greedo knows the truth - in the future, the MacLunky family, last survivors of the Scottish nuclear apocalypse, will send their only son in a time traveling rocket ship to a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. Their science indicated he would be like a god amongst the inhabitants of Coruscant - a veritable superior man. A super man, if you will.

Their science was wrong, don’t be stupid, that’s not how biology works. And so Han grew up on the streets. Greedo discovered the discarded remains of the space ship, and something something something, he said MacLunky.

 

I'm not sure what got Lucas tinkering in the 1st place, but I agree with Chewgumma about what's motivating him now. With the addition of Maclunky and the weirder and weirder noises for the Krayt dragon with each release, I think Lucas is purposely trying to piss off the fanboys who threw a fit about his original alterations.

BTW, Obi-Wan and the Krayt Dragon call is another Star Wars scene that was really strange from the get go. What's scary about a guy flailing his arms with an oversized robe pulled over him and what's it got to do with an animal call?

 

why did you have to remind me of this

 

I was also trying to figure out a way to fit in a good “Sheev Palpatine” but unlike the servants of the still very much alive Darth Maul I’m not enough of a master of Teras Kasi to pull it off.

 

I thought you'd never ask.

Maclunky is actually Huttese for "this will be the end of you". It's a TPM reference, first uttered by Sebulba against little Ani. I wish I was kidding.

 

Maclunk-me.

 

I was hoping it would take a little bit longer for you to solve the mystery. Thanks Velma.

 

If Lucas was a little more serious about his mirroring and his tinkering, he would have gone ahead and change little Ani to have him shoot off Sebulba's head. But nooo

 

Macklunky is a maverick cop who plays by his own rules.

 

He needs to turn in his gun and his badge. He's off the case.

 

Ditto.

Spoiler

Screen and scene was pretty dark on my iPad so couldn’t really make it out properly but did the Mando have George Lucas in carbonite in his hold?

I have spoken.

 

Can we get mad again about whatever the **** they did with Obi-Wan’s yell? It’s a 30 year old man trying to sound like Scooby-Doo!

 

i'm watching the mandalorian and i'm already in the mood for some weird casting choices, but i still had to pause the show and regroup after ****ing brian posehn showed up on the screen 5 minutes in. like i had to go make a cup of tea and just sort of recalibrate all of my expectations.