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Saga Fireworld

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi Master Thon, Feb 10, 2013.

  1. Jedi Master Thon

    Jedi Master Thon Jedi Youngling star 1

    Feb 3, 2013
    Alright. My first fanfic. It takes place just after the start of the clone wars. It focuses on two Jedi: Tenn, a Sluissi, and Nox, a Faust, infiltrating a Separatist hideout on Eos in search a bounty hunter who was known to have affiliated with Jango Fett.

    I experimented with a writing style I wasn't used to in the beginning, so don't comment hate. It gets into the flow later on. This is part one. The second part I shall post later. Enjoy.

    Part 1

    The small squadron of spacecraft approached the volcano world below. A flock of V-19 clone fighters, led by two brightly colored Jedi starfighters. They gradually came closer and closer.

    “Captain, ready your men. We're coming down.” The Jedi's voice seared through the nothingness of space, and as quick as the voice had come on, he drifted back into silence.

    “Copy that, General,” the apparent leader of the group responded. The whole unit veered downwards, and the planet seemed to expand in mass each second.

    “Commander, we've entered the atmosphere.” the Jedi announced, once again breaking the silence of the deep space vacuum.

    Slowly, a recognizable feature came into view. A building, a huge metal structure, which emitted a loud shriek of machinery. A thick gray smoke came from tall tubes on top of the building. Their target. They had been hunting for another, smaller Confederacy droid factory. This one, funded by the Trade Federation, had been functioning prior to the First Battle of Zonama Sekot. The objective was to destroy the base – without taking any lives.

    “Commander, let you men land on the ledge overlooking the facility,” the Jedi told him. The two starfighters landed first, with the small group of Torrents following.

    The two Jedi, Master and Padawan, upon the hatches of their starfighters opening, leaped out and motioned to the pilots of the clone starfighters to do the same with a small flick of the wrist. Then, he wiped a bead of sweat off his green forehead, only to find a few moments later another one had formed.

    “Come, Padawan,” he told his Padawan, a bright eyed Faust, and slithered away. The student ran after his master, while leading the Republic soldiers across a rocky plain.

    The facility, which had appeared small when the fleet had entered the atmosphere, was now completely visible, and the group stood in its massive shadow. A mining droid hovered by them, clicking and calculating, and they quickly ducked into a crevice in the ash-black cliff. They turned back to the building and just now found it to be patrolled with droids, which marched along a balcony just below the roof.

    “Master Tenn, what's our plan?” the young Faust asked. Tenn had just recently chosen Nox as his Padawan, and felt that a mission would give him early experience for the future.

    Tenn turned to his Padawan and the clones, his stare deadly. “Isn't the answer obvious?” the Sluissi asked rhetorically, and a hint of a smile seemed to dance on his face for a split second. “We fight.” And without warning, Tenn jumped out of their cover amid the cliffs and, upon catching the patrols attention, performed an impressive leap onto the balcony upon which the two droids stood. Just moments later, their mangled mechanical remains fell to the dark ground below.

    “Commander, we're all clear. There's an entrance on the roof.” And with that he disappeared.
    The clones ignited the jetpacks they coincidentally had on hand, while Nox, with the aid of the cliff, leaped onto the roof, where they found Tenn waiting. One by one, silently and cautiously, they dropped in through the opening.

    What do you think of part 1? And does anyone have any ideas for Tenn's first name. I was looking for something from Greek, Roman, or Norse mythology. And anyone with ideas for the clone commander's nickname?
    Admiral Volshe likes this.