How to defeat the Vong (humor)

Make them listen to Grandma's old music (from "Mars Attacks")

 

LOL! You got to love the Chewbacca defense!

 

Make them watch TV. They will become addicted, and it will force them to abandon their principles.

What is this "Chewbacca Defense" that you speak of?

 

Drive stakes through their hearts. Also, garlic!

 

everyone in the nr pinches themselves and wakes up, the whole njo was a dream

 

When they get to Coruscant tell them they got the wrong Galaxy: "no no, you want the Star TREK galaxy, thats 3 down and 2 across." Then you see Shimrra bow his head down in shame and mutter "dammit not again, stupid damn map I should've known it was hoax when the guy that sold it to me couldn't stop laughing, but hey maybe the magical beans will show me the way!"

Next scene you see the Vong attack a Borg "The Ultimate Insult to Vong Theology" Cube. And you hear Shmirra yell "assimilate THIS!"

 

Have Emril show them the POWER of the blender!

 

Thanks Wedge you just gave me an idea. Have "Iron Chef" competion, winner takes all.

 

You know those signs that say "Do not enter". Place them everywhere.

Can't beat them, join them.

 

These are great!!


"Damn the torpedos, ALL AHEAD FULL!!!"

As a peace offering, give them LOTS AND LOTS of BEER!!!

 

A cooking comp. would be gross, all those nasty slugs and stuff they eat.

 

Not if the special ingredient for the show was crackers or something.

 

Get them addicted to something. For starters, they'll can be hooked on phonics.

 

Slip 'em all a bunch of Ex-lax, then send 'em to Taco Bell with nothing to drink but prune juice!
And put "Out of Order" signs on the john!!!

Realisticly, just build a bunch of death stars, one for each sector, then when the worldships show up, just blast 'em before they have a chance to deploy skips or anything.

 

Send them all to Kessel. Let them discover Spice.

 

Convince them that the people of the NR *ARE* their gods

 

Make them watch Joan and Melissa Rivers talk about skirt pleats. That practically drives me to madness.

 

The New Republic or the Jedi should build a Sun Crusher or Death Star and blow their non-Force sensitive a$$ up!!!!!!!!!

 

Tell them their gods dont exist, give them chocolate to binge on, and when they get too fat to move, send in Tony Robins to make them all go insane!!!!!!!!!

 

throw off their groove...

 

genetically engineer their food sources with inbuilt Vodka

 

Send a group of hippies aboard each of their ships to share their philosphy, their music, their hopes, and most important, their drugs.

 

Play N'sync, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, etc at full volume. If grandma's music won't work, they sure will!

 

snezze on them.

 

Tell them it's not nice to destroy planets, that'll do it!