Saga I Am - Diary of a Clonetrooper (Updated 12/17/09 *Complete*)

Thanks for reading. I appreciate the feedback!

 

Thanks for reading. I don't know that I've been called insightful, but I like it!

 

Thank you! Hope you keep reading!

 

Maybe we shouldn't ask questions we don't want answered. Thanks for reading.

 

I'm going on the premise that even bacta couldn't make your arms reattach. Maybe it wasn't as quite developed at this point. Thanks for reading!

 

Always thinking of Fi when I wrote this. I know it's question those guys asked themselves alot. Thanks for reading!

 

I sometimes dream about clones I've seen taken away. Maybe the dreams are about me. We all have the same face. Where are they now?

You've really made them people. It's so good, I've read so many stories where they aren't. But they are, and they do have feelings. Great writing!

 

Thank you. I think some writers forget that they are actually cloned from a person and they have those human feelings. Thanks for reading!

 

Entry 9

E'Chin is gone. He didn't die the battle death he had always said he wished for either. I was holding him. We were pulling away from a ground assault gone terribly wrong and he died there in the LAATI.

I removed his helmet to get a good look at him after he had gone. It was like staring into a mirror which wouldn't stare back. I've never gotten the creeps in that way before. I can't imagine what medics have to go through all the time.

E'Chin was shot straight on in the chest. His armor was a mass of blood, shattered plastoid and tissue. You couldn't tell which was which. I think I will carry the picture of him laying there dead to my grave. I'm sure it won't be long to carry it. So many people are killed around me daily, I just don't know when my time will come.

I saw my whole group from Kamino die, but it wasn't like this. I was there standing next to E'Chin and I saw the shot fired from a Super Battle Droid. I could have pushed him aside, stepped in front. I could've done something. I just stood there and watched him be killed.

Tonight I sat on the bunk I share with the now two other members of my group and sobbed. I know I shouldn't have. I know I should be stronger. I was trained for this, but something about today seems worse. I'm lost. Lost in a sea of me.

 

Tonight I sat on the bunk I share with the now two other members of my group and sobbed. I know I shouldn't have. I know I should be stronger. I was trained for this, but something about today seems worse. I'm lost. Lost in a sea of me.

That text hit me very deep in the bones. Clones are beings with feelings, worries and a soul. I wish many in the New Republic would see it that way.

 

They are not the machines that many people think they are and I think that is what is starting to attract me to the clones. They really are people who are just like us, but they can really use a weapon. Thanks for reading!

 

I removed his helmet to get a good look at him after he had gone. It was like staring into a mirror which wouldn't stare back. I've never gotten the creeps in that way before. I can't imagine what medics have to go through all the time.

One clone would litrally blur into another for the field medics. Poor guy. You have to wonder how being a number affected them.

 

Tonight I sat on the bunk I share with the now two other members of my group and sobbed. I know I shouldn't have. I know I should be stronger.

Gah! I so understand. But to cite somebody I really respect for his prowess in such matters: "If you don't crack sometimes, how do you know, how far you can go?"

Or maybe Madonna: "It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat"

Or maybe both.



I was trained for this, but something about today seems worse. I'm lost. Lost in a sea of me.

 

No one wants to be a number, I agree. Thanks for reading.

 

Tough to be lost! They are really pushing themselves so hard. I know that there are many who just couldn't take the emotional heat! Thanks for reading!

 

Tonight I sat on the bunk I share with the now two other members of my group and sobbed. I know I shouldn't have. I know I should be stronger. I was trained for this, but something about today seems worse. I'm lost. Lost in a sea of me.

Very powerful writing!

 

Thank you!

 

I removed his helmet to get a good look at him after he had gone. It was like staring into a mirror which wouldn't stare back.


*sigh* Very poignant.

 

Somehow, these entries keep getting more and more profound...

I could have pushed him aside, stepped in front. I could've done something. I just stood there and watched him be killed.

Perhaps the most dangerous action is inaction.
(Though in this case it just sounds like guilt over something out of his control.)


I think I forgot to mention this before - if you have a PM list, please add me to it.

 

Thank you! I will add you to the PM list!

 

Thank you. I think it would be hard to look at yourself dead.

 

Entry 10

I've been referred to the medical ward due to my emotional state since E'Chin's death. My mind is failing and I can't stop it. Today they are running a few tests to see what could be wrong. So far, there has been no sign from the medical droids that there is anything wrong with me physically.

I could tell them what is wrong with me. I'm sick. I'm tired of fighting. I don't even know what I'm really fighting for. Is the Republic any better than the Seps? I mean will I have rights and privileges under Republic rule that I won't have under the Seps? I don't think I'll ever get rights. In fact, I'm sure of it.

My head hurts from all the thinking. Maybe the rapid aging process has made my brain about to explode. I just don't know anymore. Hopefully these tests will be over soon and I can go back to doing what I do best even though it is what makes me feel this sick, being a merciless face in the crowd.

 

Amazing update!

 

This up-date proves that also the ´perfect clones´ of Jango Fett can be as traumatized as any normal human being. They suffer from their experiences of this dreadful war like anybody else: loss of family members and friends, tough combat situations and so much destruction...

 

War is hell and the clones are not immune just because Jango was a Mandalorian. Thanks for reading!