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Speculation In this thread, please fabricate "scoops" for Episode 7-9!

Discussion in 'Star Wars: New Films - No Spoilers Allowed' started by BigAl6ft6, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. Panakas_Dawg

    Panakas_Dawg Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2004
    Just got off Skype with Mark Hammill. He's been living off nothing but Special K, Protein Shakes, and raw eggs. He said he's "so ripped that all the hot Jedi babes won't be able to keep their paws off of him." He's also had a penis enlargement, facelift, and hair implants. He let slip that Carrie has had "so many implants, she's now as human as Darth Vader was." Harrison is refusing to get with the program, so Lucas and Arndt came up with an opening where Han Solo dies when his walker snaps and he falls out of the dinner line at Luby's.
     
    MrFantastic74 and kainee like this.
  2. Boxster

    Boxster Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Direct from Disney's meeting this morning.

    China will be involved with the SW franchise, like Ironman 3. Offered to put SW on every cinemas in the mainland. China wants a giant SW park in their upcoming Disneyland Shanghai.

    Jackie Chan, Donnie Yuen, Chow Yuan Fatt and a few other top actors are in discussion. With top Hollywood directors chickening out on the chance to direct. Awaiting news on whether John Woo will accept the gig. Jon Favreau on top of Disney's list.

    3 trilogies will be made at the same time. One of them will be the ST, another one is based on KOTOR and last one unknown. And in between each trilogies there will be movies based on individual characters. Boba Fett movie is currently in production and Joe Johnston is designing and directing it. Gave up his gig on Captain America 2 for this.

    Disney want Chris Pine, Brandon Routh and Robert Downey Jr's involvements. Sam Jackson WILL return as an aged Mace Windu. Ewan as ghost of Obiwan, Hayden Christensen phone calls were ignored by casting director.

    Midichlorian will be edited out of the PT, Han will shoot first and Hayden's appearance will be edited out of the ROTJ's ending for the upcoming 3D re-re-re-re-releases.

    Stay tune for more...
     
  3. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Caravan of Courage is actually going to be re-released as Episode 7! Source? This random bronie who really really really likes Caravan of Courage! Really!
     
  4. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Santa came and told me that the Special Editions will be re-released only this time, all of the changes will be in claymation.
     
  5. battlefrontboy

    battlefrontboy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2012
    I've got a mole deep in Lucasfilm with a microphone on its collar. Mark Hamill was recently fitted for a Darth Vader mask, but it will only be used to recuperate in-between takes. Also expect big changes for C3P0 and R2 as Michael Arndt is drawing on a lot of Pinnochio mythology.
     
    DarthBoba likes this.
  6. 3PO

    3PO Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 5, 2003
    Half of these are probably better than what we'd get if Lucas wrote the thing.... :p
     
  7. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Lucas is writing them.
     
  8. Panakas_Dawg

    Panakas_Dawg Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2004
    Happy Holidays! Arndt now in talks re: the scene where 3PO falls in love. Still up in the air if it'll be played for laughs or is serious.
     
  9. Boxster

    Boxster Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Nick Fury will appear at the end credit.
     
  10. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    I'm actually George Lucas.
     
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  11. Chilla

    Chilla Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2005
    My sources tell me that Episode 7 will be available in 4D.
     
  12. Jinn-N-Tonic

    Jinn-N-Tonic Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2006
    Harrison Ford will be featured in E VII.. as Indiana Jones. He stumbled upon a gateway in cave back on Earth that transported him to the distant past to a galaxy far far away.
     
    DarthBoba likes this.
  13. Jinn-N-Tonic

    Jinn-N-Tonic Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 17, 2006
    Then Indy discovers more time traveling techniques in a galaxy far far away and learns that he must travel further back in time to father Han Solo. He forms an uneasy allience with Biff Tannin who also accidently ended up in a galaxy far far away while he stole Doc Brown's time machine.
     
  14. darthtuttle

    darthtuttle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    I hacked into abandoned Soviet espionage equipment and checked out Skywalker ranch. Christopher Nolan is directing episode VII. Michael Caine is set to appear. Most of the film will be set in a shared Force vision. In that Force vision, characters enter another Force vision. It gets confusing. The love interest dies. This encourages the protagonist to seek revenge. Someone has a mental disorder. The narrative gets so non-linear that the title crawl appears halfway into the film and "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." appears closer to the end. Someone joins the dark side for justified reasons. No American Actors. Luke will be the mentor but let down the protagonist.
     
    Vid_The_Impaler likes this.
  15. DarthRelaxus

    DarthRelaxus Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2007
    I heard from George Lucas' dog, Indiana, that Ep VII will be based on The Dukes of Hazard and Knightrider.
     
    HanJones likes this.
  16. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Star Trek Into Darkness is actually Episode VII. They just forgot to tell us. Oops.
     
  17. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Dan Slott told me that Luke Skywalker is gonna swap bodies with Doc Ock! Episode 7: The Superior Skywalker!
     
  18. chris hayes

    chris hayes Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2012
    I know a guy that knew a guy that knew a guy...well this guy's wife's best friends uncle's knows a security guard at Disney & he acidentally saw the treatment for Episode VII & it is set 4 million years after ROTJ Luke was frozen in carbonite at the age of 96 & returns to a galaxy run by Gungans , Ewoks & a breed of blue muppets called yoga's !
    It is also partly a musical .
     
  19. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Darth Vader from the planet Vulcan came to me last night and said that Nicolas Cage would be playing both Han Solo and Chewbacca.
     
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  20. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    This is totally legit because I just found a picture of the source!

    [​IMG]
     
  21. Boxster

    Boxster Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Disney wanted a broader audience, therefore, expect Bollywood songs and dance in the movie.
     
  22. darthtuttle

    darthtuttle Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    I used veritaserum on Kathleen Kennedy and got her to spew the plot. Apparently it's a crossover with Phineas and Ferb. While trying to get Phineas and Ferb in trouble, Candace causes her, Phineas and Ferb to warp into the distance past to a distant galaxy. Doofenschmirtz discovers the technology used to warp them, and decides to conquer the GFFA. Perry follows Doofenschmirtz to stop him.
     
  23. Panakas_Dawg

    Panakas_Dawg Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2004
    Just heard from Oprah. She and Eddie Murphy are in talks to voice a Hutt couple whose dry-cleaning empire has taken off, but they're uncomfortable living next door to a Gungan family.
     
  24. I Are The Internets

    I Are The Internets Shelf of Shame Host star 9 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Mike Meyers is involved in this somehow.
     
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  25. DarthRelaxus

    DarthRelaxus Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2007
    Due to a contract mix up, Mark Hamill will play Han, Harrison Ford will play Leia, and Carrie Fisher will play Luke.
     
    DarthBoba likes this.