ITT, We Post Random Seinfeld Quotes

The sea was angry that day, my friends.

 

-JR

 

I always wanted to be a marine biologist

 

Jebus, you want a medal?

 

"I'm not difficult... I'm easy"

"Why? Because you dress casual and sleep with a lot of guys?"

 

I want you to find out if she likes me.


-JR

 

"Why didn't you tell her I was an architect? You KNOW I've always wanted to pretend to be an architect!"

"I'm sorry, the correct answer is... Moops."

 

"Feels like an Arby's night."

 

George: Hi, my name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.

-------------------------------------

Jerry: Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. Death is #2. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.

 

SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jerry: "I don't know what we are. But, we're not men."

George: "No we're not."

 

I'M FAMILY! I'M HAVIN' SEX WITH THE COUSIN!!!!

 

I'm out there Jerry and I'm LOVIN' EVERY MINUTE OF IT!

 

Prog. Nosis. Negatiiiiiiiive.

 

I'm Frank Costanza's lawyer!

 

"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint--it's delicious!"

 

"It's not a purse - it's European!"

 

"Nice game pretty boy!"

 

"Hate the Drake!"

 

Maybe the dingo ate your baby. -Elaine

DEL BOCA VISTA!!!! -Frank Costanza

 

She had...manhands.

 

"My neck is one gargantuan monkey fist."

 

But I don't wanna be a pirate!

 

George: I'm 33 years old; I haven't outgrown the problems of puberty, I'm already facing the problems of old age. I completely skipped healthy adulthood. I went from having orgasms immediately, to taking forever. You could do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm. I never had a normal... medium orgasm.

Jerry: I never had a really good pickle

 

This thread = proof that Seinfeld is the greatest sitcom ever!

"That's not going to be good for buisness."
"That's not going to be good for anyone."

"Co Stanza!"

"In the end, Lloyd Brawn became more like me."

"Poppy's a little sloppy."

"He says he's got a Fed Ex slip with your name on it."
"Diabolical!"

"Are you Gak?"
"Yeah."
"Here's your money!"

"Look to the cookie, Elaine."

"Elaine. Marie. Benes. Kennedy. Jr."

"Is this Seinfeld's van?"
"Oh my god! Son of Sam! He said Son of Sam! I KNEW IT WASN'T BERKOWITZ!"

"No but there's karma, Kramer."
"Karma Kramer?"

"I've always been a stall man, myself."

"Lets go watch them cut this fat bastard up."