Fun ITT we post random TV show quotes out of context

If you have a better plan, I'm all ears. In fact, if you have a better plan, I'll take you to a planet where everyone is all ears.

 

Keptin, your ears! What happened?
We'll discuss it later.

 

What else does he have two of?

 

Okay, I'm lost. Um ... I'm angry ... and I'm armed.

 

Look out there. Millions and millions of stars. Millions upon millions of worlds. And right now, half of them are fanatically dedicated to destroying the other half. Now - do you think, if one of those twinkling little lights suddenly went out, anybody would notice? Suppose I offered you 10 million bars of gold-pressed latinum to help turn out one of those lights - would you really tell me to keep my money?

 

Someone's extracted all the latinum! There's nothing here but worthless gold!
And it's all yours!
No! Nooooo! NOOOOOO!

 

Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.

 

Where is Bok?
Removed from command, sir. Placed under guard for his act of personal vengeance. Seems there was no profit in it.

 

The 9th Rule of Acquisition clearly states, "Opportunity plus instinct equals profit."

 

Let's do it for Ishka. Let's do it for the Grand Nagus. Let's do it for Ferengis everywhere.
Let's do it for an equal share of fifty bars of gold-pressed latinum. That they can all agree on.
It always comes down to profit with you people, doesn't it?
We're Ferengi.
And that's why I love you. Fifty bars it is. Minus my usual finder's fee.

 

Treat people in your debt like family. Exploit them.

 

You know the Rules of Acquisition?
I'm a graduate of Starfleet Academy. I know many things.

 

Every Ferengi business transaction is governed by two hundred and eighty five Rules of Acquisition to ensure a fair and honest deal for all parties concerned. Well, most of them anyway.

 

Do you intend to press charges?
You bet I do.
What will it take, er, to, er, convince you otherwise?
Are you offering me a bribe? I knew it. Captain, I've always liked you. I suspected that somewhere deep down in your heart of hearts there was a tiny bit of Ferengi just waiting to get out.

 

It's a fake!

 

So I lied, I cheated, I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to murder. But most damning thing of all, I think I can live with it. And if I had to do it all over again, I would. Garak was right about one thing. A guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the safety of the Alpha Quadrant, so I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.

 

Rule #1: the Doctor lies.

 

Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.

 

You would make a good Dalek.

 

The man who abhors violence, never carrying a gun, but this is the truth, Doctor: you take ordinary people and you fashion them into weapons ... behold your Children of Time, transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor, you made this.

 

I name thee Carrionite.

 

It is said thy Vulcan blood is thin. Are thee Vulcan or are thee human?

 

How did he sounds? Amused? Annoyed?
He sounded Vulcan!

 

Well, Mister Spock, do you have any ideas?
We could always throw tribbles at them.
I thought Vulcans didn't have a sense of humour.
We don't, Captain.

 

Obviously perceptive creatures.