Beyond - Legends Journal of Mark Tantiss: (2012 Diary Challenge: AU, OC, L/M) COMPLETE with fanart

I love that Mark felt like he belonged to Mara because she said she wanted to kill him. So twisted and cute at the same time.

 

Thanks everybody for reading. I appreciate all the comments. I would imagine that a person who is plopped down in the galaxy all alone would want to cling to somebody to anchor them.

~JL~

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Entry 5. Location: Star Destroyer Independence

The Force training went well today. According to Mara before I can learn how to shield I must first learn how to sense the Force and feel it flow through me. That?s what we practiced today.

She taught me how to pull the Force into my body...which is a very strange sensation, it's like a breeze going right through you. The first time I touched the Force I actually shivered?not that it?s cold. The movement of this energy coursing through my muscles is like a blast of adrenaline. With it I feel powerful?which worries me. Could I get addicted to this feeling? I would assume anything that gives you such a rush would become habit forming.

I tried to research the Force, but not much information is on the Holonet. It?s like somebody purged all knowledge of the Jedi and Force from the databanks across the galaxy. I did discover the ability to use the Force is rare and in the hands of the wrong people it could be deadly. The temptation to use this power for personal gain must be unimaginable. I?m not sure I want the huge responsibility that comes with having this ability.


Anyway?

While I was training, Mara told me a little about her background as an assassin and about the Emperor?s last command for her to kill Skywalker. When she talks about her past I sense through the Force much ambivalence?I get an impression of pride and purpose, but I also a feeling of profound loneliness.

Why a woman this beautiful would be lonely, I have no idea.

I ask her if she is married. She tells me no, and I can tell she is guarded about this subject. I press on anyway and ask her if she was dating Skywalker. I was fairly sure she wasn?t, but I was also certain she wouldn?t mind a relationship with the Jedi. She gets all prickly and tells me no way?she?s absolutely not interested in him?which I know is a huge load of bantha poodoo.

When she looks at me I get a sensation of desire and attraction, but I felt that coming from her the first moment she laid eyes on me?when she thought I was Skywalker. So obviously she has emotions for the man, why she denies it I have no idea. Maybe it had something to do with that command the Emperor gave her to kill him. It must cause conflicting emotions within her.

She told me to change the subject, so I ask her about other clones in the galaxy. At that point, she let it slip that I was the only surviving clone from the Mount Tantiss facility?the very people who are helping me now killed all the other clones.

That was a little more than I could handle. I told her I wanted to be alone to think.

There is a lot for me to think about. Why couldn?t the clones be saved? They probably had the same flash training as I do. I?m a soldier. I wasn?t trained to kill innocents, to be evil, or to hate a specific set of people. I was trained to follow the orders of my superiors. Those clones could have been taken out of the cylinders and integrated into society. But they were never given a chance. More than ever I worry about my fate?why was I saved when all the others were killed?

 

The temptation to use this power for personal gain must be unimaginable. I?m not sure I want the huge responsibility that comes with having this ability.

With great power comes great responsibility. Mark's done a good job thus far of not using the Force for personal gain. I think he needs a hug.

 

Yeah, Mark definitely needs a hug.

 

Mark doesn't need a hug, he needs J_L to create a love interest for him so he can knock boots with her

 

LOL! Or that.

 

Already done! And she's normal! She's not a smuggler, a Queen, an assassin, an Imperial leader, she didn't snatch a body, she doesn't have a weird religion that hates Jedi, she's not a white witch, she doesn't ride rancors, and she's not an Imperial spy...but she is perfect for him.

 

I love how you've fleshed out Mark, gal!! And I can't wait to meet his new girl. I'm ready for a new chapter of StN whenever you can send it!!

 

Oooh, Mark has a lot to puzzle over and muse about LOL about Mara's feelings being - conflicted - yeah, they don't have to be Hmmm. If she only knew

 

Thanks everybody for commenting. I sent my newest chapter of Second to None to my beta and I should have that up shortly. Meanwhile I thought I would post a new entry for the diary challenge.

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Entry 6. Location: Star Destroyer Independence

Later on in the day Mara came to my room to talk. She explained to me the ongoing war with the Imperials and why the clones were killed. I guess the situation on Wayland didn?t allow their small strike team many options. I?m a soldier; I understand you don?t leave the enemy to your back. I decide not to dwell on their deaths. I didn?t know any of them and I really can?t afford to hold a grudge. Mara is my only friend.

I do broach the subject that has haunted me since I woke up on this ship. What were Skywalker?s plans? What was he going to do with me?

Mara was really shocked that I would worry about such a thing. She assured me that Skywalker was a remarkable man that only had the very best of intentions. I can sense her trust and admiration for the Jedi through the Force; she truly believes he won?t hurt me. I don?t know Skywalker enough to trust him, but I have faith in Mara.

I ask her once again about her relationship with Skywalker. She is adamant that she absolutely in no way whatsoever has any attraction to him at all?she?s so cute when she lies.

She?s even more beautiful when she?s angry. I can really get her riled up. It?s my new game. I ask her about Luke, she lies about Luke and then I do something to irritate her.

I pushed her too far today and she walked out on me. How was I supposed to know that showing her my great abs while assuring her I was very anatomically correct would make her angry? Okay, I knew it would make her mad, but she should stop lying to me about her crush on the Jedi.

 

And she's normal!

A normal girl? In the Star Wars universe? Is that even possible?

She?s even more beautiful when she?s angry. I can really get her riled up. It?s my new game. I ask her about Luke, she lies about Luke and then I do something to irritate her.

Haha, I think Mark has a little TOO much fun irritating Mara!

 

I ask her once again about her relationship with Skywalker. She is adamant that she absolutely in no way whatsoever has any attraction to him at all?she?s so cute when she lies.

Don't let her hear you say that, Mark! Oh wait, I think he already did.

 

Okay, I knew it would make her mad, but she should stop lying to me about her crush on the Jedi.

It would be a lot easier for her to do this if she stopped lying to herself in the first place.

 

Yay for Mark making it hard for Mara to continue denying Kinda hard when he comes across with anatomical correctness and she thinks "yeah like Luke is"

 

She?s even more beautiful when she?s angry. I can really get her riled up. It?s my new game. I ask her about Luke, she lies about Luke and then I do something to irritate her.

Hahaha! That is so Mark and so Mara!

 

Mark can show me his abs and I won't run out of the room!! I love how his affection is slowly turning more friendly, more like a little brother. Great job, lady!!

 

Mark showing Mara his abs remind her too much of Luke, of course she's gonna get mad. More soon

 

Thanks everybody for your feedback. I really appreciate it. I'm glad that I can actually create an OC that people like. Mark reminds me of my best friend in the Army. He was like a brother to me. We lived in a co-ed barracks together for 5 years, ate at the same chow hall and would hang out all the time together. When he got out of the Army he actually became a Calvin Klein underwear model ...I kid you not!! Great guy. We are still friends 29 years later.

I appreciate everybody reading. I want to catch up to where I am with my story, so that is why I am posting so much at the start.


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Entry 7. Location: Star Destroyer Independence

Mara walked out on me again, this is becoming routine. When I annoyed her yesterday she didn?t come back until this morning. I know I should stop teasing her?but today was the funniest day of my life?which isn?t really saying much, I guess.

Mara is going to teach me to shield my thoughts through the Force. She describes the process. I need to feel the Force flowing through me and try to imagine a fence or wall around my mind. I know I can do this?I can feel the power of the Force surging through my body. I am positive I could block her Force probes into my mind with ease?but what?s the fun in that?

So she tells me, ?I?m going to try to use the Force to get into your head mentally and I want you prevent me from doing so.?

I know what I did next was a little bit evil, but I just couldn?t help it. I imagined myself butt naked holding a lightsaber fighting off one of those dark Jedi she often describes to me and I?m thinking ?come on into my head Mara?. HA!

She was really mad?but I noticed she didn?t pull out of my mind as fast as she probably could have. I think she was taking inventory of the Skywalker assets. Of course she would never admit that because she absolutely, positively in no way has any interest in Skywalker.

Yeah, right.

 

Of course she would never admit that because she absolutely, positively in no way has any interest in Skywalker.

Yeah, right.



Mark, you better watch that mind of yours!

 

The Skywalker assets

Num-tummy!

Yup, bet Mara enjoyed getting a pre-view

 

Yeah, right indeed!


Although I bet Mark has a bigger "opinion" of himself than is actually true!

 

I truly believe that if Mark hadn't of looked like Luke, Mara would have killed him then and there.

 

Thanks everybody. I know that Mara treats Mark differently from everybody else, but my thinking is she can relate to Mark's situation. She was a orphan and after Palpatine died she was thrust into a situation that was foreign to her...having to do crummy jobs as a waitress to make ends meet. For all her life she was taken care of by the Emperor. Any money she needed for a mission it was provided. Then the Emperor is killed and she has to adapt. She didn't have any friends, she didn't trust any Imperial, she was really alone until she got a job with Karrde. Here comes Mark a man with no past, no name, no parents, no friends and he is completely dependent on her and Luke in the beginning of his life. She knows he is confused and worries about his fate. She can understand that.

I would also think he would be easy to talk to. He has no childhood baggage, no preconceived notions, no secret agendas. I think Mara is cautious with Luke because she does like him and she is afraid if she reveals everything to Luke he would reject her...after all, she was an Imperial Assassin and one of Palpatine's most trusted underlings. But Mark really doesn't care what Mara did in the past because he wasn't part of the past. He didn't know anybody who died on Alderaan, he didn't fight against the Rebels, he really doesn't have an ax to grind with anybody.

Of course, I don't think it hurts that Mark has Luke's good looks. I should have another post up probably tomorrow. Thanks everybody for reading.

 

Completely missed this one this morning.

Anyway, Mark is a treat. I guess he's lucky Mara likes him or she would have shoved her lightsaber you know where.

 

Entry 8. Location: Star Destroyer Independence

Mara hasn?t came back to see me since lunch. She is usually around most of the day to help me with my training. I wonder if I pushed her too far. I hate to say this, but I feel a little anxious when she?s not around. Well, anxious and bored. Life is definitely not boring with Mara around.

A curious thing is happening to me though. My feelings for her are changing. I?m not sure why, but the longer I spend time with her the more?I am not sure how to say this, so just come out and say it. I no longer see her as a potential girlfriend. Hey, it?s not because she?s not beautiful or fun to be around?I just see her as family now. Which is really too bad because the only other woman I have seen in this galaxy is Skywalker?s sister and even if she wasn?t married I am pretty sure any interaction between her and I would be considered taboo.

I don't know what?s causing this change. I think there may be something in the flash training that makes clones bond with their comrades as brothers and see their superiors as parental figures.

I was born without a mother, but I have seen a few holofilms about families. A mother nurtures, teaches, loves and protects her child. In a way, Mara has taken on this role, whether she'll admit it or not. She has befriended me, taken care of me, she helped me get around when I was too weak to walk, and she taught me everything I know about the Force.

She?s like a mother to me; she?s my family.

The trouble is?she?s not really my mother. She says I?m her friend, but when we get to Coruscant she could disappear out of my life completely. She doesn?t have any obligation to me like a parent would to a child.

This is a very depressing thought. I could end up all alone. I don?t think I could endure losing her.