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Beyond - Legends Letters of Complaint to the NJO Authors: 7/21 Tenel Ka and Wes' Letters. Finally. :)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kettch_the_Jedi, Mar 5, 2004.

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  1. Kettch_the_Jedi

    Kettch_the_Jedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 2002
    Dear NJO Authors and Editors,

    There is such a thing as carrying a grudge too far. Sure, I wiped out Carida but even Vader was redeemed in his life and he annihilated pretty much the entire Jedi order. I just aimed for an imperial training center (which probably ended up preventing thousands of deaths at their trained hands).

    Anyway, Skywalker?s punishment was being forced to live in an ugly suit with an annoying breathing mechanism. I was turned into a failed cradle-robber with a revenge and rebellion obsession.

    Let?s start with the cradle-robbing. Come on! With all the single females in the star wars galaxy and you had me fall for Miss I-have-more-mood-swings-than-a-jawa-has-fleas? That was a good idea: combine a man once controlled by an evil Sith Lord with the Sith Lord who killed the most Jedi in history?s granddaughter. I have one word for you: Danni. Heck, if you?re going to make me rob the cradle at least give me the barefoot girl. Half Vong or not, she?s a lot more stable than Jaina.

    Now let?s proceed to the whole rejection thing. Do you really think any female would choose Captain Cardboard over a handsome, daring, exciting Jedi Master? You need to get out more. And, realistically, if I was as horrible as you?ve made me out to be, wouldn?t I have shot the chiss wanna-be in the beginning?

    Lastly, your memories must have more holes than Hoth does snow: how could you forget about me for the last third of the series?! In the beginning, I was central to the plot. In the end, my only use was as a tour guide to the child that rejected me. What was I supposed to be doing during the entire Sekot mission? Raising up an all-Ewok army to defeat the Vong? It?s utterly embarrassing.

    So, as one of the important NJO characters I am demanding a rewrite of the entire series. Still not willing to redo your work? Might I mention that with the war being over I have had some time to check on the sun crusher and found that she?s still quite accessible...

    Sincerely,
    Kyp Durron
    Jedi Master

    **********************************


    If you liked this and want more, let me know who you want to write the next letter.

    :)
     
  2. CodeName_Targeter

    CodeName_Targeter Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2003
    Lol! That's funny! You should have ummmm someone like Jacen write the next one.

    :Targeter:
     
  3. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    LOL!!! That was great!

    I agree, Jacen would be funny, they really messed him up. You could do Chewie or Anakin "You killed me off!!" Han would also be funny.

    NYC
     
  4. Jedi_Whispers

    Jedi_Whispers Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2004
    Yeah Kyppie!!! You tell 'em! Anakin should write a letter too! What was with killing him in SbS? Grrr!

    ~*Whisper*~
     
  5. Eowyn_Jade

    Eowyn_Jade Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 14, 2003
    ROTFL!! Oh my that was great! Prefectly done! 8-} I'm sure that's exactly what Kyp would say [face_laugh]

    EJ
     
  6. EmilieDarklighter

    EmilieDarklighter Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 19, 2002
    Ooooh! LOL!

    Miss-I-have-more-mood-swings-than-a-jawa-has-fleas! LOL!

    Do Mara next! PLEASE! They butchered her even worse than they did Kyp! Please!
     
  7. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Pretty please. *puppy dog eyes.*
     
  8. Jedi_PrincessAZ

    Jedi_PrincessAZ Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 20, 2003
    [face_laugh] That was great!!! [face_laugh]

    We definately need more.
     
  9. Jedi_Jaina_Durron

    Jedi_Jaina_Durron Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 1, 2001
    That has got to be my favorite thing I have ever read... [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Let?s start with the cradle-robbing. Come on! With all the single females in the star wars galaxy and you had me fall for Miss I-have-more-mood-swings-than-a-jawa-has-fleas? and that has got to be my favorite line in the whole thing! So true! [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Is it too soon to ask for more?
     
  10. JediStarMoonstruck

    JediStarMoonstruck Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 19, 2002
    I want letters of complaint from every character! :mad: *keeps up her blowtorching of NJO* [face_devil]
     
  11. Anahiri

    Anahiri Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2004
    awesome! do anakin! or Mara! :D I really wish they WOULD rewrite the whole series! It'd make my day!
     
  12. Whitey

    Whitey Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jan 26, 2003
    [face_laugh]

    Brilliant! [face_laugh]

    More, I say! More! :D
     
  13. Spike2002

    Spike2002 Former FF-UK RSA and Arena Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 4, 2002
    [face_laugh]

    Yeah, I agree, more letters.
     
  14. Kyp_Jaina_Jag

    Kyp_Jaina_Jag Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 15, 2002
    Miss I-have-more-mood-swings-than-a-jawa-has-fleas

    [face_laugh]

    Now let?s proceed to the whole rejection thing. Do you really think any female would choose Captain Cardboard over a handsome, daring, exciting Jedi Master? You need to get out more. And, realistically, if I was as horrible as you?ve made me out to be, wouldn?t I have shot the chiss wanna-be in the beginning?

    :D :D

    MORE LETTERS!
     
  15. JainaDurron

    JainaDurron Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 2002
    ROTFLOL! I loved this!

    ~~Jilly
     
  16. Jedi_PrincessAZ

    Jedi_PrincessAZ Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 20, 2003
  17. Tych_sel

    Tych_sel Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 29, 2001
    Great post there! I agree, that's exactly what Kyp would say.


    Mara would be nice, and I can even see a case for Luke. But since you've done Kyp, let's take a look at the flip side and see Jaina. If you look at the series, she's all over the map emotionally.


    Force be with you,

    Tych_sel
     
  18. Princess1

    Princess1 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 3, 2001
    hehe, that was cute!

    and I agree with kyp, who could ever chose captain cardboard over him!
     
  19. Kettch_the_Jedi

    Kettch_the_Jedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 2002
    CodeName_Targeter
    Jacen coming up next...

    NYCitygurl
    Yeah, I think it's going to be fun doing a lot of them.

    Jedi_Whispers
    Yeah, I don't think Anakin would be too happy with them either.

    Eowyn_Jade
    Thanks. :)

    EmilieDarklighter
    Glad you liked it. I am going to do Mara right after Jacen so tell me what are the biggest things she would complain about? :)

    jacen200015
    What items do you think Mara would bring up?

    Jedi_PrincessAZ
    Thanks. I will try to post another within a day or two. :)

    Jedi_Jaina_Durron
    I am glad that you liked it so much. :) And, I like the jawa comparison too. I should have another post within a few days.

    JediStarMoonstruck
    As long as people keep responding, I'll keep writing. :)

    Anahiri
    I am going to do Mara right after Jacen so tell me what you think she would complain about.

    Whitey
    Thanks. More soon.


    Spike2002
    Another should be up within a day or two.


    Kyp_Jaina_Jag
    Yeah, the jawa line was my favorite. :)


    JainaDurron
    I'm glad you liked it. :)



    Tych_sel
    I hope to eventually do all of those. Tell me, though, what items do you think Mara would point out (since I am going to do her right after Jacen)?

    Princess1
    Thanks. I had to reference the cardboard name since that is still so amusing to me that that knickname is so well-known. I wonder who started it...


    Author's Note: Since I already started on Jacen, I will do him next then Mara. Please let me know any complaints you think they would specify in such a letter so that I do not leave any out. Also, do you personally think Jacen (regardless of what he said in TUF) would like being the "NJO Hero"?





    *************************************
     
  20. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002
    Thanks. I had to reference the cardboard name since that is still so amusing to me that that knickname is so well-known. I wonder who started it...

    *points at signature*

    I did.

    . . . But I have to confess I swiped it from Spike on "Buffy The Vampire Slayer". But I was the one who applied it to Jag.

    Dana
     
  21. Anahiri

    Anahiri Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 4, 2004
    What Mara could complain about... well there was that whole Vong sickness thing... i'm POSITIVE she wasn't too happy about that!

    :) Anahiri
     
  22. Jedi_Whispers

    Jedi_Whispers Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2004
    I dunno, I think Jacen would complain about being stuck with that stuffy Danni Quee instead of Tenel Ka. Not to mention the joyful experiance of the Embrace of Pain. I don't think he enjoyed being the NJO hero all to much, think of what had to happen to him to get there.

    I agree with Anahiri on Mara to. Maybe something about having Ben kidnapped.

    ~*Whisper*~
     
  23. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    Mara would complain on having a whiny brat for a husband. Jacen might complain about being made too philosophical and abhorring action. He could also complain about not getting a girl at the end of the series.

    NYC
     
  24. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Mara would complain for the reason I did: she went from a driven, strong, logical, creative woman to a weepy, whiny, horny, back-burner, with an attitude problem in half of the books. I couldn't stand NJO from the scene in Vector Prime where Leia and Mara are sitting around sobbing about babies. Good concept, poor execution!
     
  25. Kettch_the_Jedi

    Kettch_the_Jedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 2002
    DantanaSkywalker
    Really????? That is great! SW Fandom owes you a lot. :)

    Anahiri
    Very true.

    Jedi_Whispers
    Thanks for the input. :)

    NYCitygurl
    I hope you like how I did Jacen (post up soon).

    DarthIshtar
    Yep, I'll work that in. :)
     
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