Beyond - Legends Letters of Complaint to the NJO Authors: 7/21 Tenel Ka and Wes' Letters. Finally. :)

Dear NJO Authors and Editors,

There is such a thing as carrying a grudge too far. Sure, I wiped out Carida but even Vader was redeemed in his life and he annihilated pretty much the entire Jedi order. I just aimed for an imperial training center (which probably ended up preventing thousands of deaths at their trained hands).

Anyway, Skywalker?s punishment was being forced to live in an ugly suit with an annoying breathing mechanism. I was turned into a failed cradle-robber with a revenge and rebellion obsession.

Let?s start with the cradle-robbing. Come on! With all the single females in the star wars galaxy and you had me fall for Miss I-have-more-mood-swings-than-a-jawa-has-fleas? That was a good idea: combine a man once controlled by an evil Sith Lord with the Sith Lord who killed the most Jedi in history?s granddaughter. I have one word for you: Danni. Heck, if you?re going to make me rob the cradle at least give me the barefoot girl. Half Vong or not, she?s a lot more stable than Jaina.

Now let?s proceed to the whole rejection thing. Do you really think any female would choose Captain Cardboard over a handsome, daring, exciting Jedi Master? You need to get out more. And, realistically, if I was as horrible as you?ve made me out to be, wouldn?t I have shot the chiss wanna-be in the beginning?

Lastly, your memories must have more holes than Hoth does snow: how could you forget about me for the last third of the series?! In the beginning, I was central to the plot. In the end, my only use was as a tour guide to the child that rejected me. What was I supposed to be doing during the entire Sekot mission? Raising up an all-Ewok army to defeat the Vong? It?s utterly embarrassing.

So, as one of the important NJO characters I am demanding a rewrite of the entire series. Still not willing to redo your work? Might I mention that with the war being over I have had some time to check on the sun crusher and found that she?s still quite accessible...

Sincerely,
Kyp Durron
Jedi Master

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If you liked this and want more, let me know who you want to write the next letter.

 

Lol! That's funny! You should have ummmm someone like Jacen write the next one.

:Targeter:

 

LOL!!! That was great!

I agree, Jacen would be funny, they really messed him up. You could do Chewie or Anakin "You killed me off!!" Han would also be funny.

NYC

 

Yeah Kyppie!!! You tell 'em! Anakin should write a letter too! What was with killing him in SbS? Grrr!

~*Whisper*~

 

ROTFL!! Oh my that was great! Prefectly done! I'm sure that's exactly what Kyp would say

EJ

 

Ooooh! LOL!

Miss-I-have-more-mood-swings-than-a-jawa-has-fleas! LOL!

Do Mara next! PLEASE! They butchered her even worse than they did Kyp! Please!

 

Pretty please. *puppy dog eyes.*

 

That was great!!!

We definately need more.

 

That has got to be my favorite thing I have ever read...

Let?s start with the cradle-robbing. Come on! With all the single females in the star wars galaxy and you had me fall for Miss I-have-more-mood-swings-than-a-jawa-has-fleas? and that has got to be my favorite line in the whole thing! So true!

Is it too soon to ask for more?

 

I want letters of complaint from every character! *keeps up her blowtorching of NJO*

 

awesome! do anakin! or Mara! I really wish they WOULD rewrite the whole series! It'd make my day!

 

Brilliant!

More, I say! More!

 

Yeah, I agree, more letters.

 

Miss I-have-more-mood-swings-than-a-jawa-has-fleas



Now let?s proceed to the whole rejection thing. Do you really think any female would choose Captain Cardboard over a handsome, daring, exciting Jedi Master? You need to get out more. And, realistically, if I was as horrible as you?ve made me out to be, wouldn?t I have shot the chiss wanna-be in the beginning?



MORE LETTERS!

 

ROTFLOL! I loved this!

~~Jilly

 

Up.

 

Great post there! I agree, that's exactly what Kyp would say.


Mara would be nice, and I can even see a case for Luke. But since you've done Kyp, let's take a look at the flip side and see Jaina. If you look at the series, she's all over the map emotionally.


Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

hehe, that was cute!

and I agree with kyp, who could ever chose captain cardboard over him!

 

CodeName_Targeter
Jacen coming up next...

NYCitygurl
Yeah, I think it's going to be fun doing a lot of them.

Jedi_Whispers
Yeah, I don't think Anakin would be too happy with them either.

Eowyn_Jade
Thanks.

EmilieDarklighter
Glad you liked it. I am going to do Mara right after Jacen so tell me what are the biggest things she would complain about?

jacen200015
What items do you think Mara would bring up?

Jedi_PrincessAZ
Thanks. I will try to post another within a day or two.

Jedi_Jaina_Durron
I am glad that you liked it so much. And, I like the jawa comparison too. I should have another post within a few days.

JediStarMoonstruck
As long as people keep responding, I'll keep writing.

Anahiri
I am going to do Mara right after Jacen so tell me what you think she would complain about.

Whitey
Thanks. More soon.


Spike2002
Another should be up within a day or two.


Kyp_Jaina_Jag
Yeah, the jawa line was my favorite.


JainaDurron
I'm glad you liked it.



Tych_sel
I hope to eventually do all of those. Tell me, though, what items do you think Mara would point out (since I am going to do her right after Jacen)?

Princess1
Thanks. I had to reference the cardboard name since that is still so amusing to me that that knickname is so well-known. I wonder who started it...


Author's Note: Since I already started on Jacen, I will do him next then Mara. Please let me know any complaints you think they would specify in such a letter so that I do not leave any out. Also, do you personally think Jacen (regardless of what he said in TUF) would like being the "NJO Hero"?





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Thanks. I had to reference the cardboard name since that is still so amusing to me that that knickname is so well-known. I wonder who started it...

*points at signature*

I did.

. . . But I have to confess I swiped it from Spike on "Buffy The Vampire Slayer". But I was the one who applied it to Jag.

Dana

 

What Mara could complain about... well there was that whole Vong sickness thing... i'm POSITIVE she wasn't too happy about that!

Anahiri

 

I dunno, I think Jacen would complain about being stuck with that stuffy Danni Quee instead of Tenel Ka. Not to mention the joyful experiance of the Embrace of Pain. I don't think he enjoyed being the NJO hero all to much, think of what had to happen to him to get there.

I agree with Anahiri on Mara to. Maybe something about having Ben kidnapped.

~*Whisper*~

 

Mara would complain on having a whiny brat for a husband. Jacen might complain about being made too philosophical and abhorring action. He could also complain about not getting a girl at the end of the series.

NYC

 

Mara would complain for the reason I did: she went from a driven, strong, logical, creative woman to a weepy, whiny, horny, back-burner, with an attitude problem in half of the books. I couldn't stand NJO from the scene in Vector Prime where Leia and Mara are sitting around sobbing about babies. Good concept, poor execution!

 

DantanaSkywalker
Really????? That is great! SW Fandom owes you a lot.

Anahiri
Very true.

Jedi_Whispers
Thanks for the input.

NYCitygurl
I hope you like how I did Jacen (post up soon).

DarthIshtar
Yep, I'll work that in.