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Love is grand. Divorce is a !&*@(

Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Souderwan, Jan 27, 2012.

  1. Katana_Geldar

    Katana_Geldar Jedi Grand Master star 8

    Mar 3, 2003
    I hope it goes better for you, my parents divorced when I was eight and it wasn't pretty. Glad you're deciding to be mature adults about this, as I'm feeling very much how my parents aren't like that since I got engaged a few weeks ago.

    So I'm somewhat biased, I guess...
  2. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval Head Admin & TV Screaming Service star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Aug 19, 2003
    My parents divorced after moving me to a new country; then, as I'm trying to build a relationship with my father, he died.

    Decades later, I still sit on the floor of the tub while the shower is running and hold myself, sobbing uncontrollably and rocking back and forth. Once, while having one of these poetic, emotional episodes, the shampoo bottle fell from the ledge and hit my toe. I was 7. I will never forget that pain, either. I added it to the debt my selfish parents owe me for struggling to make their marriage work and, yet, failing. They failed me. And it hurt my toe.

    Only the first line of this post is true.
  3. WormieSaber

    WormieSaber Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 22, 2000

    Thanks for the kudos on my dancing ability, but it's funny how you just proved my point exactly. And what about the male posters here who are always typing in all lower caps? I could probably cut and paste dozens of threads, filling them up, demonstrating their bad grammar or spelling. Again, no offense, I am just giving my viewpoint from my own valid looking-glass. There are a lot of men who simply do not like women being able to read or write. This may sound absurd, but it's actually very true. Again, no offense, but may I suggest you find your next life-mate in the Middle East. There you will find a good, dumb woman who is forbidden to read or write. There, women do not have the power of words. And trust me; a lot of men don't like women having their own opinions, or the power of words. I don't know why your relationship failed, you didn't write much about that. And your wife is not here to shed any light on the matter either. But maybe relationships are better where women are not allowed to study words or write. So no, I will not stop writing. And if you don't like what I write, then please, don't read it. But I do think you will find your girl there, in the Middle East. Then you won't have to read her thoughts. :) She'll be nice and dumb. She won't even have bad grammar because she won't even be able to write. :) lol And I am sorry about your divorce, and your son most of all. But to be honest, I am not all that impressed with your grammar either or with the other male posters here who type in all lower caps. lol
  4. FatFrank

    FatFrank Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 30, 2011
    Love certainly is grand. How many grand is divorce?
  5. hudzu

    hudzu Force Ghost star 6

    Jun 1, 2003
    "lower caps"

    that is not a thing.
  6. Yo_Raja

    Yo_Raja Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 13, 2006
    I demand a divorce.
  7. tom

    tom Chosen One star 8

    Mar 14, 2004
    tbh i never though illiteracy would be something i'd look for in a potential partner but wormie's bitter ramblings do make a strong case.
  8. duende

    duende Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Apr 28, 2006
    now i'm really upset because i was trying really hard to impress people on here with my commitment to "lowercase" and it appears that my efforts were wasted. i have apparently flushed thousands upon thousands of dollars down the toilet attending "lowercase" seminars, night classes, and purchasing inspirational cds and videos. i'd end it all right now if i had the courage, but it eludes me. perhaps if i could learn to dance to skinhead deadhead everybody cornbread i could earn some quick goodwill and use that as a springboard to turn my fortunes around. i will begin immediately.
  9. Only-One Cannoli

    Only-One Cannoli Ex-Mod star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Aug 20, 2003

    Is that why your books are written so poorly? I had no idea.
  10. VadersLaMent

    VadersLaMent Chosen One star 10

    Apr 3, 2002
    I have no idea what this thread is about anymore.
  11. Kiki-Gonn

    Kiki-Gonn Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Feb 26, 2001
    One guy at work was scanning some divorce paperwork today, the buddy I drank with last night came very close to it and another guy at work just got done with his.

    That last one is going to cost $1,750/month.

    Hence the saying, "It's cheaper to keep her"
  12. TahiriVeilaSolo69

    TahiriVeilaSolo69 Force Ghost star 5

    Sep 27, 2002
  13. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    I thought about just quoting tom up there and going with a +1. But I'll show you more respect than you've shown the men in this thread.

    Ok. I'm going to pause here. Simply saying "no offense" in front of an offensive statement will not make it less offensive. I'm sure you learned that at some point in your life. The reality is that it took me 3 or 4 reads of your post to even fully grasp what you said. I can read what someone says if they use all lower case. I can interpret what they mean if they misspell one or two words. But when your entire post is a jumbled mess of ideas, strung together incoherently, that's just bad grammar. Sorry. I didn't critique you because that's not the point of this thread. I was simply pointing out that you showed an obvious disdain for men and for grammar. Both, in my opinion, are facts. No offense.

    None taken.

    See? Now this goes to my point about incoherence and offensiveness. What is your goal in this comment? You say to me that there are men who don't like women who read or write. I'm sure that is a fact, though we'd probably disagree with what " a lot" means. You imply, however, that I might be surprised to find this to be a fact, which at least encourages me that you haven't rejudged me simply because I happen to be a man. But then in the very next sentence you assign me to the this mythical large group of men who want their women stupid and illiterate.

    I'm confused.

    Correct. I didn't. On purpose. BECAUSE she's not here to speak for herself. It would be patently unfair for me to simply share my side of the story. Besides, it's irrelevant. We didn't work out despite our best efforts. She has her demons and I have mine. I have to tell you, though, we both respect each other a heck of lot more than you seem to respect men.

    My only response to this is I'm sorry. I'm sorry I pointed out your bad grammar. It was unnecessary and unhelpful. It did nothing to advance the dialogue.

    I'm also sorry you were so hurt so often and/or so deeply in your life that you believe that companionship with someone who respects and admires you for your intellect, wit, and fundamental worth as a human being is an impossibility. I'm sorry that you think that men don't value women.

    Thanks. And you're right. My grammar isn't impressive. Good luck to you. :)

  14. Boba_Fett_2001

    Boba_Fett_2001 Chosen One star 8

    Dec 11, 2000
    No mention of China or any other cultures you wish to stereotype?
  15. Yodaminch

    Yodaminch Chosen One star 6

    Mar 6, 2002
    Heh. It's funny you say that. My mom and I were just discussing that song. She and my father have just finished their own divorce. Despite the fact that they filed no fault, in truth, it was all his fault.

    Souderwan: I was very relieved to read that you and your wife are not at each other's throats. I can tell you as the child of two parents that have been that, even in my early twenties, it is not healthy nor comfortable for the kids. Especially when you feel like your in the middle of it. My sister isn't on speaking terms with my father at the moment and I see him every 2 weeks for dinner because it's just not comfortable to be with him much longer than that right now.

    While Divorce does indeed suck, if you and your wife were not happy, you both absolutely did the best thing for your son in that situation, even if it doesn't seem like it. My parents were unhappy for years. My mother stuck it out for my sister and I at the cost of her own happiness and health. When she discovered my father was a gambler and had lost essentially their life savings, she moved into survival mode and got him help and stuck with him through that. When he told her he wanted a divorce, she tried very hard to do it amicably and be reasonable and tried mediation. But, he wasn't in that frame of mind. Even though she had enough to bury him with and friends and family told her to destroy my father, she took the high road. She found a lawyer that did the same despite many that offered to be 'pitbulls'. My father hired one of those. Unfortunately for that guy, he only had my father's word- the word of a gambler to believe. My mother had the paperwork that she tirelessly dug up. The truth eventually came out and while the settlement was far from perfect, neither one really won nor loss. And yes, my father will likely soon realize that it is 'cheaper to keep her'.

    When my parents told us they were separating, my sister and I were of the same feeling: It's about time. When my father left, the tension in our household dropped dramatically. My mother, who had been ill for years and is still ill, looked better than she had in years. The stress of a bad marriage does take a very physical toll and both my parents are better apart.

    If I had only one piece of advise to pass on, it would be this: Make sure your son talks. If not to you or your wife, then someone. I've had multiple friends bottle up their feelings after parents went through bad divorces and they acted out in destructive ways.
  16. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Aug 18, 2002
    thanks for addressing this i was too tired at heart honestly
  17. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Thanks for sharing that, yoda. I'm sorry you went through that. The more I hear about all these crappy divorces, the better I feel about how we're handling this. Of course it's crappy and not at all fun. But I think it's better to do this than wait until we hate each other 4 yrs from now, when my son goes to college, which is what I think we were both planning on.

    As for my son talking, I've been working on it as much as I can, without being overly pushy. He's a 14 yr old boy, though, and is keeping this subject properly compartmentalized. He's still his normal self in every other way, which has me slightly nervous. He has an appointment with a therapist tomorrow, which I told him I wanted him to do at least once. We'll see how that goes.
  18. ApolloSmileGirl

    ApolloSmileGirl Jedi Knight star 8

    Jun 18, 2004
    I may have missed the meeting, but is saying most men don't want their women to be able to read or write, the new more pc way of saying all women should be kept in the kitchen at home, barefoot and pregnant?
  19. Kiki-Gonn

    Kiki-Gonn Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Feb 26, 2001
    It definitely sounds like you guys are going about it the right way.

    Another nightmare scenario from the past would be the way my parents did it. Forcing my sister and I to sit through their accusations, protestations of innocence, etc like a jury. Kids don't really need to know which adults have made passes at their mom.
  20. Katana_Geldar

    Katana_Geldar Jedi Grand Master star 8

    Mar 3, 2003
    Are you being offensive or making some sort of self parody? If it's the latter then you're not doing a very good job there.
  21. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval Head Admin & TV Screaming Service star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Aug 19, 2003
    I swear that's why I got rid of my smartphone. I like my phone the same way I like my women: illiterate and never correcting me.
  22. Jabba-wocky

    Jabba-wocky Chosen One star 10

    May 4, 2003
    As an independent music video director, I basically direct and promote independent music videos.
  23. Rogue_Ten

    Rogue_Ten Chosen One star 7

    Aug 18, 2002
    idgi who are you burning them you should like quote them or something
  24. Lowbacca_1977

    Lowbacca_1977 Chosen One star 7

    Jun 28, 2006
    I like my phone like I like my women. From the early 90s and on a pay as you go plan.
  25. darthhelinith

    darthhelinith Force Ghost star 6

    Feb 10, 2009
    Re: the grammar, might I suggest you start using paragraphs?