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Beyond - Legends Manhunt (Post FotJ Ben/Ves Family/Adventure)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by A.P. Samuels, Aug 20, 2013.

  1. A.P. Samuels

    A.P. Samuels Jedi Knight

    Aug 19, 2013
    This one is not a direct sequal to My previous Fic but it is further down my section of the timeline. Honestly I'm looking for brutal criticism on this because I never seem to be able to pull off multi-chapter (and the fact that I know where point A and point Z are but I have no solid idea how I want to get there yet). Please let me k now what you like or don't about it and I am fully willing to entertain ideas.
  2. A.P. Samuels

    A.P. Samuels Jedi Knight

    Aug 19, 2013
    Chapter 1

    A/N: I do not own StarWars

    I can't believe how kriffing stupid I am. She had a 1 day head start on me and now it was a game of catch up. Even after she promised she would wait for me to recover...for herself to calm and focus a bit as well. If she had even just waited for my father to arrive I would be feeling better about this than I am right now. But she didn't. Part of me understood but I was still angry although as much at myself as at her. I know that I kriffed up bad and I can never undo this. I am a total failure as a husband and father to allow someone to kidnap our month old son Owen Gavar Skywalker. No...not someone.

    “Darth Ermorden....karking sleemo son of a.....”. Swearing wasn't going to help. I had to save my son and possibly my wife as well if for different reasons. Dad had told me how he felt Ves's presence in the force as she tore off past the Coruscanti traffic control and went to light speed almost before reaching the minimum hyper limit. A mass of hatred hotter than Mustafar mixed with a desire for vengeance colder than night on Hoth.
    This is my failure. I was unable to protect my family. My son is lost to a man determined to bend him to the Dark Side and my wife may have slid back into her Sith ways.

    “I will find you, and I will save you....both of you”

    At present I had an advantage in this hunt. Vestara had taken our personal YT-2000 Spoilsport and while Uncle Han had already “fixed” the weapons and shield systems he was still waiting on some motivator parts from Uncle Booster. The Spoilsport was no slug but she still only had the stock class 2 hyperdrive. I on the other hand had managed to “borrow” the Jade Shadow and could out run Ves at .5 past lightspeed. If our destination were any closer it might not have mattered but since Ermorden had made no secret that he was taking Owen to Ziost I would arrive only a few hours after Vestara did.
    67 minutes to realspace reversion...67 more minutes of reliving the worst moments of my life.

    48 hours earlier

    I sat on the couch feeding Owen from a bottle of fortified Blue Milk and waiting for Ves to come home from her meeting with the Masters. I'm still amazed at how much joy this pooping, crying little life form brings me. If you ask me to name the greatest single moment in my life it would have to be the first time I laid my eyes and force senses on this little guy. I had pulled my father aside that very same day while everybody was busy cooing over the new arrival and I had apologized from the bottom of my heart for every stupid, dangerous, and irrational thing I had ever done. He looked at me and he smiled.
    “I knew one day that you would understand, Ben. It's only something that you can understand when you become a parent yourself.”.
    A satisfied burp from Owen brought me out of my reverie and back to reality. I got up and took Owen into the nursery, changed him and put him down for a nap. As I entered the living room I heard the door chime and I went to see who it was.
    In the door viewer I could see a man dressed in technicians garb and holding a case that had “splicer” stenciled across the front.
    “This is the Skywalker residence. Can I help you?” I asked through the comm
    “Coruscant HoloVision, sir.” the tech held his ID badge up to the viewer, “We've been having complaints of vid outages throughout the building and we're testing for a line break. I'd like permission to access the junction on your balcony to run my diagnostics for your dwelling. I couldn't sense any deception from him so I keyed the door.

    As the portal slid open a hooded figure came running from the hall and hit me with a force blast that threw me across the room and into a wall.
    Stupid, stupid, stupid. I cursed myself because I had been in my own little world and now my lightsaber was 3 meters away on the table in front of the divan that I had been sitting on while feeding Owen. I reached out with the force to grab the saber but the hooded figure turned and ignited his own crimson blade and neatly turned my lightsaber into 2 pieces of scrap. Even so I am the nephew of one of the universe's biggest scoundrels and the son of a former Hand of the Emperor. I placed my hand flat against the wall and heard a beep as a panel opened to reveal one of Uncle Han's “special” DL-44 blaster pistols. Without thought I brought the pistol up and burned a hole into the back of the “splicist” who had been running in the direction of the nursery. My next 2 shots were in rapid succession. The first was deflected by hooded Sith and hit me in the right calf but the second, by luck or by the force, hit the pommel of his lightsaber destroying the weapon. Through a haze of pain I brought the blaster to bear on my target but just as I depressed the firing stud he hit me with another force blast that sent my shot wide and slammed my head back into the ferrocrete wall. As I slid down the wall, darkness overtaking me I could hear Owen crying....

    End Chapter 1.

    I'd seriously like to know what you think about this. All constructive criticism welcome.

  3. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Chosen One star 5

    Nov 1, 2004
    Ironically I was chastising my son for opening the door up to a stranger today. Nice start! It sounds interesting.