Mathematics thread ~ all crazy people are invited

I didn't understand all of them, but some were pretty funny.

I had my first Math exam in the third year today.

 

How did it go?

 

1
she got 2
damn i hate math.
no, i love it, but not at 18:00

 

Bolja sam ovoga puta.

 

Bravo.

 

Brojevna kru?nica je smije?na. Ozbiljno.

 

You are a hard guy to find Cobra!

Hi all by the way!
I would stay and chat but I think I may visit your pub instead!
Math is not my thing!

 

U kojem smislu?

 

*Brings in square metre of Shrubbery*

There you are, oh great Mathematicians. I humbly apologise in face of thine grace, and beg forgiveness. I wrote an A/P fic. I shall now shoot myself.

 

Oh, don't be so silly. The fic was lovely! Why apologise?!




Hehehe, Igor, who's winning now.

 

OH NOES, MATH has been uber pwnt ftw!!

Mathpwnt

 

Hey, mathematicians! I see that we have been neglecting this topic lately. Here are some of the new math joks, quite actual at my Uni at the moment. Some guys have already put them on the internet, but I don't see that you posted it here:

- What does the zero say to the the eight?
- Nice belt!


Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Student: 3000!


This one comes from listening classes on English:
- Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
- Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

 

The second and third especially

 

On various contests (Znanost Mladima), a lot of freeks gather and share their adventures like solving, various types of problems, doing some experiments and also, they share weird silly jokes. I heard a lot of them today on my chemistry competition, but the math one was the funniest:

-What is the difference between a PhD in Mathematics and a large pizza?

-Large pizza can feed a whole family.

 

Heh.

 

Well, it is true. Math and naturale sciences are not very well paid, but they pwn.

 

Unless you're an astrophysicmathematician

 

Znanost Mladima? That's so old. I always went to Math and Geography. I know that it doesn't have to do much with each other, but I was goos at it. Actualy, in highschool I sucked at math at school, but I never missed those competitions. Eh, good times. (darn, I sounded so old )

Pizza > PhD Math - true, but I love Math more that I love pizza.

 

Yay!
Uber thread

 

This made me smile, even though a large pizza can only just feed me.

 

Thanks.


Now, we need some more Math jokes. Except 'm out of the league now. No more Mathematics for me, now that I'm on Uni, which is kind of a relief. I have silly Quantitative Biology, though. Which is just Statistics in a poor desguise. They cunningly lure people in by putting the word Biology in the module name. The only boring subject I have at Uni.

 

Great one!



Sooooooo, this is the Math place? Not bad.

 

It is back from the dead.

 

Anakin: "I don't like bar charts. They're coarse and rough and irritating, and the bars get everywhere. Not like here. Here everything's soft... and smooth... like a sine graph..."



And now, a rewrite!

ANAKIN: Padme, I saw your ship...
PADME: Oh, Anakin!
ANAKIN: It's all right, you're safe now. What are you doing out here?
PADME: I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan told me terrible things.
ANAKIN: What things?
PADME: He said you have turned around the point of infinity... that you tried to get the sqrt of -1.
ANAKIN: Obi-Wan is trying to balance the equation.
PADME: He cares about us.
ANAKIN: Us??!
PADME: He knows . . . He wants to help you.
ANAKIN: Is Obi-Wan going to protect you? He can't ... he can't help you. He's not strong enough.
PADME: Anakin, all I want is your love.
ANAKIN: Love won't save you, Padme. Only trigonometry can do that.
PADME: At what cost? You are a good person. Don't do this.
ANAKIN: I won't lose you the way I lost my mother! I've become more powerful than Yoda^18 and I've done it for you. To protect you.
PADME: Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.
ANAKIN: Don't you see, we don't have to run away anymore. I have brought maths to the Republic. I am more powerful than any function. I can differentiate them, and together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make maths the way we want it to be.
PADME: I don't believe what I'm hearing . . . Obi-Wan was right. You've changed.
ANAKIN: I don't want to hear any more about Obi-Wan. The Mathematicians turned against me. Don't you turn against me.
PADME: I don't know you anymore. Anakin, UR braking my <3 :'(. I'll never stop loving you, but you are going down a path I can't follow.
ANAKIN: Because of Obi-Wan?
PADME: Because of what you've done . . . what you plan to do. Stop, stop now. Come back! I love you.
ANAKIN: (seeing Obi-Wan) Lier!
PADME: No!
ANAKIN: You're with him. You've unbalanced me! You brought him here to differentiate me!
PADME: NO! Anakin. I swear ... I ...
OBI-WAN: Let her go, Anakin.
ANAKIN: What have you and she been up to?
OBI-WAN: Let her go!
ANAKIN: You turned her against me.
OBI-WAN: You have done that yourself.
ANAKIN: You will not take her from me.
OBI-WAN: Your lust for maths has already done that. You have allowed this Sith Lord to twist your mind until now . . . until now you have become the very thing you swore to differentiate.
ANAKIN: Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Mathematicians. I do not fear the Prime Numbers as you do. I have brought soul, life, sex, and partying to my PMF.
OBI-WAN: Your PMF?
ANAKIN: Don't make me differentiate you.
OBI-WAN: Anakin, my allegiance is to the Mathematicians... to logic.
ANAKIN: If you're not with me, you're my enemy.
OBI-WAN: Only a Sith deals in Prime Numbers. I will do what I must.
ANAKIN: You will try.