FF:VIC Monty Python Quote-A-Thon

flllumppppgghhhth
( that's a fish being slapped against another person)

 

I'd like to register a complaint! Never mind that, my lad! I'd like to register a complaint about this here parrot, which I purchased not half an hour ago, from this very boutique!

 

Pilot 1: I spy with my little eye, something beginning with S.
Pilot 2: Sky.
Pilot 1: Sep.
Pilot 2: I spy with my little eye, something beginning with C.
Pilot 1: Clouds.
Pilot 2: Yep.
Pilot 1: God, this is boring. *picks up the intercom* Hello, this is your captain speaking. There is no cause for alarm. *pilot 2 goes to pick up the intercom* No, no, no. let them think. Why would there be cause for alarm? ....Are the wings on fire? *picks it up again* The wings are not on fire.
*enter Host*
Pilot 2: How's it going?
Host: Oh, great great. you've really got them wondering.


i could go on, but i can't be bothered

 

*sings*

Et in terra domine,
Rex celestis dominuumm...
*BOP*

[repeat indefinitely]

(PS. I made up the Latin there, couldn't remember it exactly, but it'll do)

 

and thy shalt take thy holy hand grenade, and thy shall pull thy pin and thoust shall count to 3.
3 shall be thy number of thy counting and 3 only.
thy shalt not count to 2, unless it is to go onto 3.
4 is too much and 5 is definately out of the question

 

What do you seek?

Waht is your favourite colour?

 

Spam spam spam bacon eggs and spam.

BUT I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!!

 

In this picture are 24 people. You can not see them because they know how not to be seen.

 

Hello, I would like to buy a fish license please.
A what?
A license for my pet fish Eric.
How did you know my name was Eric?
No, no, no.....my fish's name is Eric. Eric the fish. He's an halibut.

And now it's time for the penguin on your television to explode.

 

I like





traffic lights.





I like






traffic lights.





I like






traffic lights.






That is what I said.





I like





traffic lights.





I like






traffic lights.





I like






traffic lights.






But not when they are red.

 

I like chinese!

They only come up to your knees!

 

Sit on my.....
(......er......should I sing that one here? )

Let's not go to Camelot - 'tis a silly place.

DINSDALE!

 

Ohhhhhhh
Never be rude to an Arab.....

 

I wonder where the fish is.

Oh fishy fishy fishy.

It was such a lovely fish.

 

We are the Knights that go Meeep


your mother was a hampster and your father smelt like elderberries! (think thats how it goes.. havent seen that movie for a long time)


can we 'ave your liver then?

 

But I didn't eat the salmon mousse...

 

Consult the Book of Armaments!

 

The lady of the lake, her arm clad in the sheerest of shimmering semite held aloft Excaliber, thereby declaring by divine providence that I, Arthur should be King of all England.

Strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power is derived from a mandate by the masses! Not some farcical aquatic ceremony. I mean, if I proclaimed myself Emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd lock me away!

 

We are no longer the knights who say Ni. We are now the knights who say ecky ecky ecky kazang soopong arble arble.


What would you like us to do oh knights who say... Who until recently said ni?

 

She turned me into a newt!! Well....I got better.

 

You are all individuals!

We are all individuals!

You're all different!

We're all different!

I'm not..

 

The Blomonges plan to win wimblton!!!


Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?


This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden ...violent ... comedy.

 

I bet you they won't play this song on the radio
I bet you they won't play this new #@*% song
It's not that its #$&@, or *@^$ contraversial
It's just that the $^*# words are awfully strong
You can't say %^$# on the radio
Or %^$&
Or ^%&#
Or *#@*
You can't even say I'd like to *%&$ you some day
Unless you're a doctor with a very large #$%@
So I bet you they won't play this song on the radio
I bet you thay daren't #%$@ well programme it
I bet you the %$#$ old program director, will think it's a load of horse %^$#!

 

I blow my nose at you Arthur King. You and all your silly english k-niggits. Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Go and boil your bottoms son of a window dresser.

 

Fruit sketch!
Colonel: get some discipline into those chaps, Sergeant Major!
Sargeant: (Shouting throughout) Right sir! Good evening, class.

All: (mumbling) Good evening.

Sargeant: Where's all the others, then?

All: They're not here.

Sergeant: I can see that. What's the matter with them?

All: Dunno.

1st Man: Perhaps they've got 'flu.

Sergeant: Huh! 'Flu, eh? They should eat more fresh fruit. Ha. Right. Now, self-defence. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where we got to last week when I was showing you how to defend yourselves against anyone who attacks you with armed with a piece of fresh fruit.