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Before - Legends Point Blank {TOR}

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by SabyneAmberle, May 18, 2014.

  1. SabyneAmberle

    SabyneAmberle Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Sep 16, 2004
    Title: Point Blank
    Author: SabyneAmberle
    Characters: Torian Cadera, Kybrina Gammon (Female Bounty Hunter)
    Genre: Romance
    Summary: Seeing they have a small break, Torian decides to ask something personal of Kybrina...
    Note: This has been kicking around in my head for a while. It's based on an actual scene/mini-quest in the game between Torian and a female Bounty Hunter. I took a few of the conversation options from this scene and melded them together to flesh the dialogue out a bit better and make it a bit less stilted-seeming.


    Ky dusted off her hands, then closed the cargo bay doors. Her companions were good at collecting resources...too good, in fact. She had enough aluminum, durasteel, and other materials to craft armor mods for half the Imperial fleet, if she were so inclined.

    “Contact the Imps, mention I've got mods, sell 'em each for a thousand credits, roll in the profits,” she muttered to herself with a smirk. "What could be better?"

    “Credits always the first thing you think about?” Torian's voice from behind startled her for a moment. “Or is it just when it comes to dealing with the Empire?”

    “The latter.” Ky turned so her back was leaning on the closed doors. “After all, credits are what keep us fed, keep our armor in good shape, and keep this ship flying.” She kicked her heel back against the durasteel of the doors, smirking as she heard the dull thunk. “And this bucket could use all the credits I can pour into her.”

    “Give you that much,” Torian leaned against the opposite wall, mimicking her stance as best as he could. Ky had to cover her mouth to hide her grin; where her leaning stance was casual and relaxed, his looked like someone was trying to bend a green twig. Relaxing must not be a strong suit of his. He just looked so stiff. Almost endearingly stiff, she thought.

    “Mind if I ask you a personal question?” he asked, his head tilting slightly to the head as he watched her.

    She shrugged. “If you do, I get to ask you something personal,” she answered.

    “Fair enough,” he said with a shrug of his own. He then hesitated, unsure how to ask the question he wanted to ask. Did he just blurt it out? Was there some way to finesse it? As this was his first time being even vaguely interested in a woman, he really wasn't sure.

    As though sensing his hesitation, Ky raised an eyebrow. “Look, if you want to ask me something, then ask,” she said, hating herself a bit for how abrupt and snappish she sounded. “Otherwise, I have things to do.”

    “All right. Are you seeing anyone?” He surprised himself with how suddenly the question tumbled out.

    The question caught her off-guard, and Ky began to laugh. She stepped away from her leaning spot against the doors and walked to the nearby workbench. Clearing a spot, she sat on top of it, crossing her right leg over her left. “Now, why would you be asking that?” she teased. “Is that idle curiosity, or is there another question you wanted to ask?”

    Torian could feel his ears redden slightly. “Another time, maybe,” he answered, surprised at how even his voice sounded.

    “Well,” Ky bit her lower lip thoughtfully. “I'm not seeing anyone now, but I could be talked into it, by the right guy.” She added a playful wink, smiling as she saw a slight blush tinge his cheeks briefly.

    “Really? I'll have to remember that.” He was slightly annoyed with himself, now. He wasn't the type to blush and stammer like some lovesick teenager talking to the girl he liked. A warrior was supposed to be able to handle all matters with a cool head and an even voice. He was failing rather spectacularly at both. Word of this got out, Corridan and the others would never let him live it down.

    He had to deflect, even for a moment. “Guess it's only fair I let you ask one too. Shoot.”

    He thought her smile was lovely as she thought of a question. “Your turn to tell me,” she finally said after several silent moments. “Are you seeing anyone?”

    “Not yet,” he answered. “Thinking about it, though.” He saw she was now resting her chin on her hand, as though she were studying him. Maybe she was.

    “What do you look for in a woman?” she asked. She knew it was a bit of a risk, since she had just used her one question a moment earlier. Still, maybe she could get him to talk. It was worth a try.

    It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her she had gotten her question, so he wasn't answering this one. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. That would likely end the conversation, and he enjoyed their chats too much to have this one end so soon. “She has to be Mandalorian,” he began, not even needing to stop on think on the answer. “And she's got to be a better shot than me.”

    He didn't. Ky thought to herself with great amusement. Torian, you did not just leave yourself wide open. She decided to have a bit of fun, tease him a bit.

    “Aside from being Mando, you just described everyone on Hutta,” she teased. She stifled a giggle as an outraged look crossed his face for a split second, before it morphed into that grin she liked so much. He was too easy to get a rise out of, no matter how small.

    “Ouch,” he said with a laugh. “Guess I'll have to check out Hutta, then.” Had he not been able to tell she was playing with him, he might have been insulted.

    “Guess you should.” Ky hopped down from her perch on the workbench and stood a few feet from him, her hands on her hips. “Far as your requirements go, I'm two for two. What do I win?” She punctuated her query with another wink. This was too much fun.

    “Not much of a prize right now,” he answered honestly. “I better work on that.”

    “Oh, don't be like that, Torian,” Ky protested. “You aren't giving yourself nearly enough credit. You're far more a prize than you think.”

    “Flattered you think so,” he said. “But we should get moving. We can talk later.”

    She nodded, not really wanting this conversation to end. “By the way,” she said slowly. “I've been wondering this for a while now. “What made you want to run off to hunt bounties with me, instead of staying on Taris to fight?”

    It was his turn to give a playful smile. “You're much prettier than Commander Fett,” he answered. He laughed softly as he saw her face turn red. He swore her face almost matched her hair, it had turned so red. Seemed this feisty little hunter couldn't take it nearly as well as she dished it out.

    “Um, well...” she sputtered a bit, trying to hide her sudden embarrassment. “If that's all it took, I'm surprised you didn't leave Taris with a wookiee.”

    “Shed too much,” he explained simply.

    “That's a good point, I'll give you that,” she said, with a laugh. “I hear they're good fighters, but the cleanup is a bit much.”

    An awkward silence fell between them. Torian felt he needed to say something, anything, to break that silence. Instead, he watched her tug at her gloves, searching for the right thing to say while simultaneously wondering what was on her mind.

    “Am I...pretty?” she finally asked.

    “Wouldn't say it if I didn't think it,” he answered. He saw she was about to reply when Mako bounded down the stairs behind her.

    “Ky! Come up to the bridge!” she exclaimed. “There's something you need to see!”

    Ky's eyes never left Torian's. “I'll be right there,” she said, absently, not even noticing Mako's retreating footsteps. Was it her imagination, or did they seem a lot faster than she normally walked?

    He jerked his chin in the general direction of the bridge. “You should get going, Kybrina,” he said. “Mako seemed excited, shouldn't keep her waiting.”

    She nodded, turning to head up the stairs. She started up them, pausing halfway through her climb to look back down at him. “This was a fun chat. Let's do it again sometime.” she said with a smile. "Until next time, kid."

    He nodded. “Until then.”
    Kahara and Revanfan1 like this.
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Kessel Run Champion star 8 VIP - Game Winner

    Aug 31, 2004
    That was just too endearing and sweet and fun all at once. [face_dancing] Woot! They really feed off each other well, and you write them superbly. [face_love]
    Kahara likes this.
  3. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    "You just described everyone on Hutta!"
    "You're much prettier than Commander Fett." Undoubtedly. ;)
    "Shed too much."

    Just a sampling of my favorite moments. Very nice job with the playful banter between these two hunter-types—it's believable and just the right amount. :) I wonder if Mako will be jealous...?

    Incidentally, Gammon Road is a fairly major street on the west side of Madison, Wisconsin. ;)
    Kahara likes this.
  4. Revanfan1

    Revanfan1 Force Ghost star 6

    Jun 3, 2013
    How cute. :)
    Kahara likes this.
  5. Kahara

    Kahara FFoF Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Mar 3, 2001
    This is awesomely cute. Great juxtaposition of awkward (Torian's lack of previous experience, Ky's uncertainty about asking him a personal question) with what seems to be a new but durable friendship. Their banter and the way they seem to enjoy each other's flirting even while teasing at the same time is really entertaining.


    Also liked the aside at the beginning about how her crew is too good at collecting stuff -- all bounty hunters should have such problems. :p
  6. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Jul 11, 2014
    So my second foray into the Before era was another Sabyne short story, and once again I realise how much I'm missing by sticking to Saga. I loved the banter between the two characters (and I imagine that there's a lot of teasing by Mako to come once Ky gets to the bridge ;) ) I could really feel as I read this that your OCs have very detailed back stories and well-built relationships in your universe and I definitely want to read more about them! *opens the Prolific Writers' Index to look up more fics*

    Congrats on the nomination!
  7. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    Yep, congrats indeed! Was just rereading this sweet little piece. You do a fab job with the banter between these two. True, sincere romantic chat doesn't always have to be heavy and serious! :D